Akosua Dardaine Edwards's Blog, page 18
March 2, 2024
March on to Self Worth
We all want to project something to the world, but if we're not happy within ourselves we’ll just create short and hurt people along the way because we can’t share happiness, just the dissatisfaction within ourselves Sadguru
Worthiness is not earned, proven, bought or bargained - you were born worthy. Simply, you just are.
Worthiness reflects in your life the moment you recognize and believe that you are born worthy.
When we believe that we are worthy, we behave that way - we become mindful of what we do and how we be. We release the defensiveness, we set boundaries and allow others to live their own lives minus judgements.
Achievements build self confidence, not self worth. You cannot outperform your self worth. You can achieve worldly and material success, however if you do not believe that you are worthy, there will always be an unhealthy striving for more at the expense of your health, your relationships, your peace of mind
Self worth is the foundation.
According to ACIM, when we are guided by the ego, we pursue happiness by trying to control external events. We seek money, material things, and special relationships in order to fill a presumed lack, yet this search is an impossible quest because we are striving for happiness that cannot be found in the external world. We won’t solve our human predicament by controlling the world. The problem lies at another level
As you journey through March, ask yourself - do I believe in my inherent worth? or do I want to be considered special?
Focus on believing that you are worthy and valuable rather than wanting to be special. Special denotes separation, comparing and judgement of self and others. Worth is knowing God lives and walks in you and with you, that there is a power within available to you at all times. Special is comparing yourself to others. Worth and Value is bringing your gifts and talents to the world and serving a bigger purpose, you do not have to prove to anyone that you are worthy and valuable.
Peace and Blessings
Akosua's Books
Nyabo (Madam) Why Are You Here?
What Did I Learn Today? Lessons on the Journey to Unconditional Self Love
February 29, 2024
Do you hold yourself Accountable?
A person who is not accountable to anything is a danger to themselves and others - Iyanla Vanzant
I was listening to a podcast last week with Iyanla Vanzant, she spoke about holding yourself accountable. What does that mean and how do you hold yourself accountable to anything or anyone?
What is that thing that says I have to raise my game, I have to show myself and others respect, I must be disciplined? Do you have anything that guides you to that place?
Some use religion and spirituality
Some use honoring their family
Some use their children
Iyanla in her conversation talked about how her grandmother swept floors, and cleaned toilets so that she and her brother could eat and go to school - she holds herself accountable to the memory of that and would not dishonor her grandmother by "wasting" her life.
Holding yourself accountable I have interpreted as doing your best in the moment, it means recognizing and remembering that there are Universal laws and principles that guide how we live and living up to them, for example, the law of cause and effect. For every action you take there is a reaction which comes back to you in some way/ Holding yourself accountable is taking responsibility for your actions, rather than blaming others or playing victim.
Holding yourself accountable means living with a level of integrity even when no one is looking, doing that you say you will do, first to yourself. Making agreements that you can keep and keeping agreements that you make - first to yourself.
Having compassion and exercising forgiveness - first to self.
Its a powerful thing.
How do you hold yourself accountable?
Peace and Blessings
Akosua's Books
Nyabo (Madam) Why Are You Here?
What Did I Learn Today? Lessons on the Journey to Unconditional Self Love
February 27, 2024
Lessons from Spending time in Stillness
I know some of you are in the cocoon stage right now. You don’t want to do small talk. You’re craving time at home. And you might be thinking: “What’s wrong with me?” The answer is: nothing. You’re on the path to healing. Dr Nicole LePera
I have been in a cocoon for a few months! So this is what it was. Dr LePera has described what I have been feeling and experiencing.
Being in this cocoon stage looks like spending time in stillness, it looks like meditating, journaling, like not being busy, like setting boundaries with no guilt, it looks like less mindless scrolling on social media, it looks like spending time on the beach, by rivers, in the forest. Its an uncomfortable time, it may involve losing some friends, upsetting family who cannot understand the choice to spend time in silence and stillness.
If you are constantly busy, on the move and get validation from externa sources being still, silent and spending time alone, this shift will feel different. What I have learnt is:
1. Resting is more than sleeping eight hours a night, it is a rejuvenation of the mind, body and spirit.
2. Sitting in stillness sharpens intuition- our guiding voice thrives in silence, it really is a still small voice.
3. There is nothing that you will be missing when you sit an event out - what is for you is for you.
4. Upon emergence from the time out, there will be new friends and old friends - be ready.
According to Dr LaPera " We don’t need to “earn” rest: think about the last time you rested. Did you call yourself lazy? Did you have those thoughts in your head of all the things you “should” be doing? Was there a list of things you told yourself you had to get done before you earned rest? Most people have this inner narrative that makes rest something to earn. In reality, rest is productive. It helps our body recover, soothes inflammation, and gives us a better ability to regulate our emotions."
Peace and Blessings
Akosua's Books
Nyabo (Madam) Why Are You Here?
What Did I Learn Today? Lessons on the Journey to Unconditional Self Love
February 23, 2024
The Source Resides Within
When you demand the love and approval of others, you make theminto your Source, into your God — and where is the possible sense of happinessin that, dear one? Why would we ever have even placed Source so far outsideyour own heart, so far outside your own being? Elizabeth Gilbert
Today I bumped into someone I believed I would be friends with forever, in fact, more than friends. As I ran into that person, it dawned on me that we are not even on speaking terms. My belly flipped, I felt a rush of emotions come to me. Anger, Sadness, Disappointment, Resentment, Wonder.
How does one go from being so close to not even wanting to speak or acknowledge each other? Or maybe I can use a lesson I learnt in the Course of Miracles - I am willing to see this differently.
Perhaps the time has passed to be friends, the time while being friends was beautiful, I learnt a lot about myself. It's just a new time now.
Perhaps now its about setting boundaries, making room for new friends and new experiences.
Perhaps now it is about choosing the now rather than the past.
Perhaps its really about trusting the real source, rather than hoping someone provides me with a temporary feeling
I am willing to see things differently.
Peace and Blessings
Akosua's Books
Nyabo (Madam) Why Are You Here?
What Did I Learn Today? Lessons on the Journey to Unconditional Self Love
February 19, 2024
Things that were once uncomfortable are now desired
Having to face and sit through discomfort has never been fun for me. I don't know about you; for me, there is resistance. I love easy and sameness - its called when consistency is out of balance.
What I have learnt is life's experiences include uncomfortable situations, anything that is new, different, important to you, out of the ordinary involves moving through, sitting in and passing through some level of discomfort.. Guaranteed to meet you on the other side is something new, something different, something magical.
Things that were once uncomfortable for me that I now do:
1. An early morning run - just the thought of running arrggg - Now I love it, I feel like I have accomplished something every time I wake up early and run, even if I run for ten minutes , I feel like I completed a marathon proud.
2. Going to the dentist - the thought of a someone else peering down with a weapon in my mouth was enough to keep me away - now I changed the way I look at it and sit through the discomfort. rather than staying away.
3. Sharing my writing and posts more often due to fear of being criticized or ridiculed.
4. Speaking up on matters that impact me - I read some where that being neutral will not save you. Before I would stay quiet to "keep the peace"
5. Minding my own business, rather than giving unsolicited advice- I have just stopped doing that.
6. Confronting the old opinions I held that no longer serve me due to feeling guilty about abandoning my upbringing and religion.
7. Eating more vegetables. Who knew there were ones that actually tasted like food?
8. Listening more without wanting to be right all the time.
Peace and Blessings
Akosua's Books
Nyabo (Madam) Why Are You Here?
What Did I Learn Today? Lessons on the Journey to Unconditional Self Love
February 15, 2024
Love is Persistent
Love requires our courage—the courage to let go of our fear of not being enough. It asks us to step into the unknown and risk everything for the chance to experience something truly extraordinary. Alex Elle
February is the love month, in any which way you turn there is something about love and Valentines and romance.
Confessions on the Journey - I have willed myself to love, to be loved and to BE love. Its still in process. Growing up I believed love was only for romantic settings and romance. I also believed that one would be lucky to have that type of love in their lives. As I grew older, I thought, if love is what I am seeing around me then hell no, I want no part of it. Healthy relationships were few and far between in my world. So, that combination of believing love was just for romance, and not seeing many healthy versions of it, I became quite skeptical about this thing called love.
I started reading books, magazines, learning about it. I vowed to myself I will "love differently" Much of that choice was rooted in fear of losing and not doing "love right" As above so below, as within reflects outside- my life reflected back what I believed. Healthy relationships were few and far in between, holding on in the name of love was my defence when it was certainly time to let go. I held on to so many beliefs that I had to prove, I had to be more than, to show that I was valuable and liked.
What I have learnt is that love is everything and in everything. It was up to me to believe that.
Love can be healthy.
I have also learnt that the old cliche love starts with you - is so true! we set the standards
we don't have to earn love- we ARE it! We are love. We are enough.
So searching for it outside of ourselves is a sure set up for disappointment.
And therein lies the challenge.
Love includes care, commitment, courage, discipline, fun, persistence - first to and with Self
Love is ALL
Nyabo (Madam) Why Are You Here?
What Did I Learn Today? Lessons on the Journey to Unconditional Self Love
February 13, 2024
What Nature Has Taught Me
Divine design is more than we can fathom - Deborah Johnson
Over the past few months, nature has been a healer, a balm of sorts for me.
Even in the magnificence of it all there is a simplicity that is unmatched. Entwined in the perfection is a level of imperfection
In between the order there is chaos.
Just like me, similar to how I live
The greatest lesson has been that I am nature so that waterfall beautifully crafted by the Most High from an idea is the same as me- I am idea crafted and realized from the mind of the Most High.
There are times I would be angry - like waves crashing heavy and hard
There are times I would be calm - when the river meets the sea in a dance
There are times when the winds will shift and move everything in its wake.
There are times when there will delightful colours and beaty
Nothing remains the same, we change and that is AOK.
no matter what is what is going on. No matter the circumstances, there is a power in the Universe that transcends it all. In that power we live, move and have our being.
Peace and Blessings
Akosua's Books
Nyabo (Madam) Why Are You Here?
What Did I Learn Today? Lessons on the Journey to Unconditional Self Love
February 10, 2024
There is no Self Worth without knowing Self
Self Value - how you see and hold yourself within yourself that determines what you do and how you do it - Iyanla Vanant
One of the most important lessons I learned in 2023 has been how I see myself determines what I accept from others and what I am willing to accept. This revelation made so much sense that when I got it, I was literally clapping and on my feet shouting! I get it, I get it.
I viewed myself as less than in those relationships - no wonder it turned out the way it did. Basically, I believed that the relationships that I entered was a step up for me, rather than looking at it from a place of equity. I thought wow, I am so lucky, I am able to be in this union. Everything went off balance because of those beliefs.
When we see ourselves as less than, we accept less, we want to fix and change what is in front of us, we want to justify nonsense and we do not ask for what we need and want because of the fear of being abandoned and left- Who Knew?
Once I realized that this belief is what contributed to my behavior, I had to practice a lot of self forgiveness - how can I be an advocate for self love and accept this? I felt disappointed and ashamed, I felt like I let myself down and so many others who were around me seeking counsel.
Trust me, I ain't doing that again. I have learned my lesson.
Self worth is an inside job, our worth is not hinged on any external criteria or validation. We have to know who we are, what are our standards and what we value in ourselves. We have to know when we are devaluing ourselves.
Holding the belief that someone is more valuable means you believe that you are less than them which usually leads to accepting less, compromising your values and accepting what you don't want.
You are valuable, just because you are here. You have something to do that is important.
Peace and Blessings
Akosua's Books
Nyabo (Madam) Why Are You Here?
What Did I Learn Today? Lessons on the Journey to Unconditional Self Love
February 7, 2024
The Guide is the Love
Our God and higher self always point the best and most perfect way and it is ours to listen and choose or reject what we hear. God does not blame, but patiently tries again to show the, perfect way, the loving way. 105 Universal Laws
Many people may not believe this and I can confess that I also had my doubts, we do get guidance from within. Divine Guidance.
Its quiet, its not fussy, its patient and its uncompromising.
This guidance keeps telling us, showing us, loving us, prompting us, without being over bearing. Free will allows us to choose whether we take it or leave it.
When you consistently feel drained after talking to someone? - Guidance for boundaries
When the joy of the job, relationship, hobby is waning - Guidance to pay attention.
When your belly flips crossing the street - guidance that a car may be coming or to be careful as you go.
There are so many times that I have heard this guidance talking to me, that I have asked for it and yet, because I don't like the answer given in that particular moment, I feel scared or I want proof, I ignore it and choose something else.
The consequences of that choice of something else is it takes me off the path for a while - sometimes being off the path is full of weeds and water. I have to wade through the water and chop the weeds.
Guidance continues talking to me - never leaves me. Even as I wade through and prune.
I hear it so much better when I stop, get still and trust.
How many times we get the guidance that the relationship needs an overall, perhaps need to end?
How many times do we get the guidance that the job is done?
How many times we get the guidance to move to a different place, a different city?
When we make choices that come out of fear of survival, keep jobs we are terrified to lose, don’t speak up we go one with the lie you are abdicating our power, creating a hemorrhage and while it looks like you are safer, it is an illusion.
The more you hemorrhage, the more paranoid, frighten, insecure you get because you are changing your capacity to access your own inner authority.
Because you betrayed yourself you don’t trust yourself and because you don’t trust yourself you don’t trust any guidance coming through you so you keep making a mess. Self-loathing can start and then you have to find external ways to project.
Nothing is more important than you protecting your power, than listening and trusting your guidance
Peace
Akosua's Books
Nyabo (Madam) Why Are You Here?
What Did I Learn Today? Lessons on the Journey to Unconditional Self Love
February 5, 2024
There are no Wrong Turns
“Like sunflowers, no matter where they are planted turn towards the sun, I too began turning in the direction that nourished me.” ― Lalah Delia, Vibrate Higher Daily: Live Your Power
On a Sunday I hike, I do a fairly easy one, I have been doing this almost every Sunday during 2023. Apart from it being a form of exercise, it served me as a method of healing. The ability to be a part of nature, to just be, to see the magnificence of how things change at a river weekly puts my mind at ease. It reminds me that change is not as scary as it appears in my mind.
The opportunity to be in a quiet space has been life saving.
I have come to know the trail like the back of my hand. That became comforting.
Yesterday, as I walked on the trail , I realized that I was in an unfamiliar place, how did I get here? I wondered. I started a mini panic. The monkeys seemed to be howling louder than usual, the grass seemed thicker, the path just different. I made a wrong turn on a familiar path.
Has that ever happened to you? Doing something you have always done and you end up in an unfamiliar place?
My belly did some flips, there was no one around, and to add to the adventure- there was no phone coverage in the bush.
I decided to stop. pause, get quiet. Have a self talk - "Self you have done this almost every Sunday for an entire year, there is no way that you can be completely lost. Stay calm!"
Sometimes , in life, we make detours or are guided to take another path- because the path is new or unfamiliar we think we are lost.
We are not lost, we are just on an unfamiliar path, being on this path becomes an opportunity to trust ourselves, to listen to the divine guidance which many times is unfamiliar- hence the trusting of self. Remind yourself that feeling lost now doesn’t mean you will permanently be lost
I listened and was guided back on a path that took me back out where I was supposed to be.
Divine Guidance is the ultimate GPS
Peace and Blessings
Nyabo (Madam) Why Are You Here?
What Did I Learn Today? Lessons on the Journey to Unconditional Self Love
