Akosua Dardaine Edwards's Blog, page 22
October 6, 2023
Give Your Pain a Place to Live outside of your body
You gotta resurrect the deep pain within you and give it a place to live that’s not within your body. Let it live in art. Let it live in writing. Let it live in music. Let it be devoured by building brighter connections. Your body is not a coffin for pain to be buried in. Put it somewhere else.~Ehimeora
One of my favourite lessons is "Do not waste your pain" I cannot remember where I heard it or who shared it with me. It resonated in a deep way.
Life does not exempt us from its lessons nor its challenges. It does however provide us with tools, guidance and lessons. Our responsibility is to be present and pay attention.
Our feelings and our gifts becomes the guides. When we are in pain, we feel, when we are in joy, we feel. Our gifts guide us back to ourselves. So many of our songs, visual art, sculptures come from wanting to express ourselves after we feel pain, sometimes joy and inspiration too, but mostly pain.
Pain is saying to us, hey, I need you to pay attention. to do something. Ignoring it leads us to be numb, to take our gifts for granted and to miss the lesson. This impacts not just our health, but our relationships and our decisions.
Add something to the manure to allow it to bloom beautiful flowers.
I wrote a book after divorce - moving the pain from outside of me into the pages of a book. It literally healed me and I pray that it healed someone else.
Did I ever write a book? no!
Did I consider myself a writer? no!
I wanted to get the pain out.
What are you holding on to that can be placed in your art, your gifts?
Peace and Blessings
Nyabo (Madam) Why Are You Here?
What Did I Learn Today? Lessons on the Journey to Unconditional Self Love
October 2, 2023
October is the Journey to Flexibility
You think you know what tomorrow will bring. You believe thatyou have the answers to where you're going. The illusion that your life iswithin your control shatters in an instant, and like a tidal wave, a new lifeovertakes you. You quickly learn to swim.Alicia Rodriguez
Maybe the goal is not acquiring material possessions only to prove that we have made it. Maybe the goal is believing in abundance and acting from that space.
Maybe the goal is not to fight for control all the time but to leave room for the unimaginable and for The Universe to surprise you. Maybe the goal is to seek out why being in control is so important to you.
Maybe the goal is not to win. Maybe the goal is to learn.
Maybe the goal is not to be perfect. Maybe the goal is to accept what is.
Maybe the goal is to remember
Remember that you are worthy
Remember who you are
Remember that this too shall pass
Remember that everything is temporary including our time here
Peace and Blessings
Akosua's Books
Nyabo (Madam) Why Are You Here?
What Did I Learn Today? Lessons on the Journey to Unconditional Self Love
September 27, 2023
What is on your “While I Live” list?
What is on your “While I Live” list? Nedra Glover Tawwab
My fried died, my soul sis - that is what we called each other. I just finished speaking at her memorial this morning- I can safely say that it was one of the poorest speeches that I have even given. Maybe later I will analyze why that happened.
My friend was a force, a light force, she made me want to be a better person, just by how she showed up, she lived a life of and with love, she lived a life of authenticity, fun, realness, compassion. I am really not saying that because she died, this is true!
When I met her, we were studying and she was naturally, one of the popular girls in the class. I looked at her and I thought, how awesome must it be to live that freely. I was so concerned with saying the right thing, doing the right thing, people liking me - newsflash - that is no way to live,. I quickly learned from her that showing up real is the way to live.
We lived in a different countries, but we spoke often, she always told me that she loved me that we are soul sisters. When we got together in person, we would have fun fun, fun! She would sing in the car, dance on the seat, take me to places that were interesting and educational. We would run ten k races and half marathons and she would laugh at me because most times I would finish dead last. The laughter was not judgemental or ridiculing it was filled with love, like "see Soul Sis, we did it, we ran the race, although you came in after everyone and the people were ready to pack up and leave"
She was truly a wonderful person, she did not pretend or hide her flaws. I cannot explain why she died at the age of 45 with so much dreams, visions and love inside of her, I cannot explain why I woke up on Saturday to hear that she is now gone and that we will never see each other in the flesh ever again or dance in the car, or debate on how we are going to life the status of women in the world. I do know for sure that she made the world a better place, she made me want to be better, do better, live better. and I will always remember that. I will be reminded that true love never dies, it just changes form.
My soul sis, I will always love and remember you, you would say we lift as we climb. We will be the ones. I will honor you by continuing to do that.T hank you for sharing yourself with all of us, thank you for all the lives you have touched. You will forever remain a part of us and I primise to continue to make you proud by how we live.
Peace and Blessings
Akosua's Books
Nyabo (Madam) Why Are You Here?
What Did I Learn Today? Lessons on the Journey to Unconditional Self Love
September 25, 2023
Seek Ye First
Self Acceptance is ongoing and ever evolving. Seek ye first - Phylicia Rashad
Who you are does not depend on anything outside of you. Let me say that again. who you are does not depend on where you live, what you drive, where you work, and on and on and on
It's challenging to believe that given the world that we live in, what I have learnt is that it all starts inside of me.
Love - Inside of me
Forgiveness - Inside of me
Self Value - inside of me
Discipline - Inside of me
There is no where I have to go, no THING I have to buy, get, chase, own that will bring it to me
No one can heal for you, eat for you, exercise for you, sleep for you. It's you. All you
You are that powerful!
When we accept who we are, in all of our flaws and all our glory - we make decisions that reflect that level of acceptance and resilience.
.With acceptance comes responsibility
With Self Acceptance comes the willingness to own, experience, and take responsibility for our thoughts, feelings, and actions, without evasion, denial, or disowning — and also without self-repudiation; the virtue of realism applied to the self. Think of how much less self judgement will come when we accept ourselves, think about the quality of decisions we can make when we do not have to look outside of us for acceptance and validation.
Powerful stuff
Peace and Blessings
Akosua's Books
Nyabo (Madam) Why Are You Here?
What Did I Learn Today? Lessons on the Journey to Unconditional Self Love
September 22, 2023
Top Five Lessons from Travelling Through the Islands
Mastery comes when fear is dissolved. Fear is dissolved not by fearing it, hating it, judging it but looking upon it with perfect love. Look at the fear and surrender it Iyanla Vanzant
Over the past ten days I have been travelling. I have covered three countries in the Eastern Caribbean chatting with young ladies on what their version of empowerment and personal power means to them. So far, I have been to St Kitts and Nevis, St Martin (the Dutch side) and Jamaica. Each country with its own culture and dynamics. While all of this is happening so is life.
Top Ten Lessons:
Spending time outside of our comfort zones is growth - trust me the cliche is real and real life. Having to navigate new surroundings, new food, overall newness has made me think about being present and in the moment rather than looking for the same conditions and situations from back at home. There will hardly ever be the same situations in a different place. I have learnt that I must adapt, accept and choose.
There are answers in the stillness - stillness provides answers that noise can never do. When an opportunity for stillness arises, use it. There are revelations in there that are life guides.
Life is not an either/or - Life is the wholeness of everything, consider that life can be an “and” Life has shown it is not always in black and white.
The ocean is unbroken and reflects life - it is always going on. Life will not change itself, its us who has to adjust to life going on.
Food is a language of love - people in all the countries show their love in food.
Peace
Akosua's Books
Nyabo (Madam) Why Are You Here?
What Did I Learn Today? Lessons on the Journey to Unconditional Self Love
September 4, 2023
Validate You First
Validation is approval from others. Self-esteem is approval from yourself. Never sacrifice your self-esteem to gain validation. Validation is easily regained once lost. Self-esteem is not. Mark Manson
Humans love to be recognized for the contributions, they want to be seen, loved, chosen, adored. We thrive on it, we love to feel appreciated. I can safely say that for me hearing "I appreciate you" melts my heart, I feel light and fluffy upon hearing that!
The challenge comes when there is an imbalance with seeking internal and external validation. We only seek external validation. we crave it, we do everything with that as the intention. Why is this a challenge? Everyone will not like you (as lovely as you are), people have their own thing going on and may not tell you how wonderful you are, there are jealous people, and the list goes on.
Validate yourself - often!
Start small - how do you speak to yourself?
What do you say to yourself?
What do you say to others about yourself? Do you downplay your gifts and talents? Do you intentionally look for compliments and validation? that my friend is a set up!
Do you forgive yourself when you make mistakes or missteps?
Do you have positive self talk?
Building up yourself is the beginning of a healthier self esteem, we cannot rely on outside alone for our validation.
One of the biggest lessons that I have learnt is to bet on myself. I have been acting on being chosen, being liked, being nice - trust me, that is a set up. I started people pleasing to the point of losing myself, to keep the peace, to be liked. It never worked. I became resentful and unhappy.
When I started focusing on keeping my word, keeping an open mind, using affirmations and positive self talk, I relied less and less on what others told me.
I valued myself more. I liked myself more.
Peace and Blessings
Listen to Its An Inside Job - Akosua on the Sacred Planet Podcast
September 1, 2023
September we embark on the Journey to Unconditional Self Love
Unconditional love is not the same as normal love. Unconditional love encompasses acceptance, compassion. forgiveness, non judgement and trust. As you continue to practice you hold yourself and others with love. You are enthusiastic and inspired. Practising unconditional love with and for yourself means that you honor your commitments no matter what else attracts your attention. It also means if you fall off, you get back up, you get up and you never give up on yourself. Love never gives up The Accountability Process 2013
This month as I journey towards unconditional self love, I am keeping it simple, I commit to:
1. Consistently eating healthy foods that nourish my body.
2. Having a strong NO
3. Having a strong YES
4. Keeping the commitments I make to myself even when there are distractions, noise and pressure to conform. There are times when a renegotiation becomes necessary. Self Love is about knowing when to initiate that minus judgement and ego.
5. Keeping the commitments I make to others - with love, respect and pure intentions.
6. Being radically honest with myself - not building foundations on lies, illusions, rationales, justifications, fear and nonsense.
7. Feeling all my feelings - recognizing and knowing that I do not have to act on all of them especially when it dishonors me and those who I love.
8. Consistently making self honoring choices. Every single choice that I make I am asking myself, does this show that I love and honor me? Real talk! What I accept, what I don't accept, who I interact with, what I say, what I do? Does it show me that I love me?
9. Holding myself accountable for the decisions I make, holding myself accountable for the creation of the life I want. Holding myself accountable means doing what I say that I will so and becoming willing to pay the consequences when I fail to honor those commitments.
10. Knowing when to accept what is, knowing when to let go, knowing when to walk away.
11. Being courageous enough to accept and work to understand my fears and weaknesses and act despite the fear.
12. Respecting myself and others as evidenced by my actions and behavior.
13. Doing what I say I will do in order to have what I say I want -consistency and discipline.
14. Being kind to myself. No judgement, no self-betrayal, promises to ourself that we don’t or cannot keep.
There are just some things now that I will no longer tolerate - both from myself and others
May I remember on this Journey that, The r (evolution) starts with self and There is no risk free route to love.
Peace and Love
Listen to Akosua on the Sacred Planet Podcast - "Its An Inside Job"https://youtu.be/Ubs7XHq9oYM
Akosua's Books
Nyabo (Madam) Why Are You Here?
What Did I Learn Today? Lessons on the Journey to Unconditional Self Love
August 31, 2023
Top Ten Lessons on the Journey to Letting Go
When you deeply embrace change, letting gobecomes much easier. The thicker the ego, the more likely the individualis to believe that their way is always the right way. Control is often amanifestation of old hurt and trauma. The deepest healing and delight arises fromletting go. Yung Pueblo
1. Letting go of habits require willingness, commitment, strength and strength of will. Then you go through purification and withdrawal, which is uncomfortable. You have to want to result more than you are afraid of the discomfort.
2. Letting go is far more peaceful than doggedly clinging, trust more empowering than resistance.
3. One has to develop rituals for letting go. It takes practice and commitment
4. Our liberation depends upon our ability to release and let go of anything that does not serve us.
5 Practising letting go reduces unhealthy craving and acting on unhealthy cravings.
6. Moving on does require letting go. But letting go requires something, too. It requires acceptance.
7. You can never lose by letting go.
8. I am letting go because I don't want to carry anymore stowaway energy or emotion into my future.
9. Wholeness is letting go of the stuff that does not belong.
10. This is a remembering who you are process. This is a coming back to who you really are process. It’s time for you to turn to who you really are , that doesn’t mean that something is wrong with you. It just means that there is always better.
Peace and Blessings
https://youtu.be/Ubs7XHq9oYM?si=v6TWT...
Nyabo (Madam) Why Are You Here?
What Did I Learn Today? Lessons on the Journey to Unconditional Self Love
August 30, 2023
Life is Neutral
Life will give you whatever experience is most helpful for the evolution of your consciousness. How do you know this is the experience you need? Because this is the experience you are having at the moment.”
– From A New Earth: Awakening to Your Life’s Purpose, Eckhart Tolle
All of the spiritual and life teachers remind us that not only does life love us, it also gives us the experiences that we need to grow, heal and evolve. The challenge is many times we resist what is in front of us for many different reasons.
Life is not personal and it bodes well not to take things personal, we can become intimately involved in many areas that life throws up - this is where the evolution of our consciousness comes in.
Joy, Happiness, Abundance, Pain, Hurt, Heartbreak - you name it - they are all not personal however we all experience it and when we do it becomes intimate to us.
What I have learnt is:
1. Asking "why me" is a waste of time - disempowers me. Ask - what can I learn? What am I missing? What am I gaining? What am I resisting?
2. Pay attention to the signs life give you, and take it as is rather than making up stories, justifying it and rationalizing it
3 Act from a space of love, rather than fear.
Peace and Blessings
Akosua's Books
Nyabo (Madam) Why Are You Here?
What Did I Learn Today? Lessons on the Journey to Unconditional Self Love
August 28, 2023
Discomfort is what happens when we are on the precipice of change
Discomfort is what happens when we are onthe precipice of change. Briana Wiest
Nyabo (Madam) Why Are You Here?
What Did I Learn Today? Lessons on the Journey to Unconditional Self Love
