Akosua Dardaine Edwards's Blog, page 21

Feeling the Feelings Fully provides Information

Feel because what exists inside the feeling state that you are avoiding is information- Briana Wiest

Over the past week I have been at a Knowledge Fair. Practioners from all over the world had the opportunity to share their experiences on working with Gender Based Violence (GBV). 

What stood out for me sharing our experiences is how many of the people in the room continued or even fought to remain  "professional" in the midst of hearing emotional stories. It made me think about how much we are asked to "be strong" which translates to don't show feeling, no crying, no emotions, take it on the chin. How can we be human and deny the fullness of the human experience? How can we show up in a room not being our full selves?

Having been asked to do that repeatedly, especially as women, it becomes tough to navigate the world and show up without being given the space to be fully present in our authentic selves.

There was a story being given by a GBV survivor, an emotional one, I found myself tearing up, and at the same time I found myself looking around to see who else was. I held back because I was the lone one in the room. I had to now talk to myself, remind myself that it is ok  to feel all my feelings. The feelings are guides, information, to allow transcendence.

I want to practice and commit to feeling all of my feelings.

I want to practice and commit to be authentic with the feelings that pop up.

I want to practice and commit to not ask permission to feel.

I want to practice and commit to be courageous while I face all of my feelings. To sit in it, to let it pass through me, to be in the discomfort.

I want to practice and commit to feeling the joy without guilt.

Peace and Blessings

Akosua's Books

Nyabo (Madam) Why Are You Here?

Now What? The Flipside

What Did I Learn Today? Lessons on the Journey to Unconditional Self Love

 

Who Does Your Thinking For You?

God gave you a mind to think with & a heart to love with, marry them together & make a difference in this world. Guided Revelation

Four days into the Journey to Self Reflection and boy oh boy things have been coming up that I have been laughing, screaming, chuckling and shaking my head at some of the decisions and choices that I make out of habits, fear, comfort and old tapes.

The intention of this month for me is to reflect on the decisions that I make, and hold myself accountable for them. To pay attention to the times when I am making decisions based on the past, patterns, remaining comfortable and fear. And how do they impact my life.

I am ready to do something new and doing something new requires being mindful, taking action and not repeating mindlessly what I do expecting the a different result.

This approach has been  stripping me of everything that I think I am. 

What I have learned is:

1. You are able to see things differently when you "do your own thinking" - who told you that you are the way you are? who told you can and cannot? who's permission are you waiting on to do what you know you need to do.

2. Without external validation will you continue to do what you do, or stop what you are doing? If you need nothing but wanting to hold yourself accountable, you are becoming self aware.

3. Sometimes the answers only come in silence.

4. Making up stories is a way to delay facing the truth.

5. Denial, deception will not help in honest self reflection.

I am so excited to learn more on this Journey!

Peace and Blessings

Akosua's Books

Nyabo (Madam) Why Are You Here?

Now What? The Flipside

What Did I Learn Today? Lessons on the Journey to Unconditional Self Love

November is the Journey to Self Reflection

 Self -I Love You and I am Listening - Sarah Blondin

#Affirmations...

#Intentions...

As I begin this new month, I will be mindful and intentional about the words I use. Words pave the path to the road of the lives we create. Words have power. I will use the words coming out of my mouth to create intentionally.

As I begin this new month, I will recognize the feelings that I have flowing through me. Feelings are guides.  Feelings must be felt in order to transcend where we are to heal. Feelings buried alive do not die, they bleed out.

As I begin this new month, I intend to be mindful of the thoughts I allow to occupy my mind. Thoughts pass through like clouds, like waves - which ones will I allow to linger? Just like words, thoughts create. I sometimes get lost in the ones that say I must do more, I must be more, I must win - sometimes they torture me if I am not careful. Be mindful of the thoughts you hold on to consistently - they manifest itself in your lived experiences.

As I begin this new month, I intend to look at situations through the lens of gratitude and appreciation. It certainly feels better than looking at situations through cynicism and limitation.

As I begin this new month, I intend to pay attention to divine guidance which becomes easier with silence and self belief.

Peace and Blessings

Akosua's Books

Nyabo (Madam) Why Are You Here?

Now What? The Flipside

What Did I Learn Today? Lessons on the Journey to Unconditional Self Love

Lessons from experiencing the Sunrise

 Catching the sunrise is grace - Garlene Hicks

Seeing the sun rise, especially over water - excites me yet calms me at the same time. I feel a sense of renewal when I witness it. The process says to me - here is a new day and its started beautifully. What are you going to do? I - sunshine- just set the tone, will you follow or will you not?

Sunrises also taught me about consistency, about the power of silence. There is no fanfare, the sun rises daily, usually around a similar time and just shines. No awards, no huge announcement - the sun just shines.

Sunrises teach me to show up daily, no matter what!

Peace and Blessings

Akosua's Books

Nyabo (Madam) Why Are You Here?

Now What? The Flipside

What Did I Learn Today? Lessons on the Journey to Unconditional Self Love

Healing Requires..

 if we don’t continually outgrow ourselves, if we don’t wince a little at our former ideas,  and beliefs, we ossify and perish.  Maria Popova

Yesterday I was having a conversation on healing -  mainly inner healing.

Confessions on the Journey - I want to heal super fast-  I run from uncomfortable feelings and being vulnerable . With healing, there is no way around it, one must go through. 

With healing - we must sit in it. Whatever comes up, we have to sit with it, invite in in, get curious and simply deal with it.

Healing requires patience. The patience here where how we go through can be more critical that the time. 

Healing requires forgiveness, including forgiveness of self..  According to Maria Popova, forgiveness is the alchemy by which the shame transforms into the honor and privilege of being invited into another’s darkness and having them witness your own with the undimmed light of love, of sympathy, of nonjudgmental understanding.

Healing requires radical acceptance - the ability to look what is staring you in the face and saying this is what it IS, rather than it should not be so, I don't want it to be so, and all that goes along with the disbelief of having something happen.

Healing requires support. Who is in your village, your friends, your family, your tribe. Are you considering or getting professional support- coaches, counsellors and so on.

Healing requires positive affirmations - affirm yourself, when you pattern interrupt, let yourself know, let yourself off the hook, celebrate you.

Healing requires questioning some of your values and beliefs. Getting curious about them particularly when they no longer serve your growth and healing.

Healing requires stillness and space - stop the busyness, stop the running, stop the masking, simply stop it.

Healing requires trust- trust the process, trust God.

Peace and Blessings

Akosua's Books

Nyabo (Madam) Why Are You Here?

Now What? The Flipside

What Did I Learn Today? Lessons on the Journey to Unconditional Self Love

I am making a commitment to myself...

 Don’t place limitations on yourself when you think about your next chapter. Let your mind reach far and allow your sight to be oriented by your deepest aspirations. Yung Pueblo 

The end of 2023 is almost upon us, I started a ritual a few years ago where I would take time at the end of the year to go within, reflect and envision how I would want my life to look and feel for the next journey. I was thinking about how much I limit myself in the dreams and visions of how I want to live when I reflect. So when I saw the quote from Yung Pueblo which talked about placing limitations on ourselves, it resonated. On the journey to unconditional self love I have seen how impactful and powerful our thoughts are, how much our words and actions stem from the thoughts we think. 

I am making a commitment to myself today to think without limits, to focus my thoughts on the fact that whatever comes my way I am able to handle it, to flow with the flow and to come through it on the other side.

 I am making a commitment to myself today to stretch my mind in ways I would never have done before.

I am making a commitment to myself to focus on the limitlessness of the Universe rather than the limitations I see in front of me.

I am making a commitment to myself to watch what I am thinking, and what I am saying knowing that thoughts and words are tools of creation.

I am making a commitment to myself to do a new thing and to be gentle with myself if I make a mistake or fail.

I am making a commitment to myself to feel all of my feelings and honor myself in the process.

I am making a commitment to myself to tell the truth to myself first to allow for the freedom that it allows.

I am making a commitment to myself to show up and do my absolute best in the moment.

Peace and Blessings

Akosua's Books

Nyabo (Madam) Why Are You Here?

Now What? The Flipside

What Did I Learn Today? Lessons on the Journey to Unconditional Self Love

Staying Engaged when Life is Life-ing

 Here are my top 3 tips to stay engaged even when life is lifing:

Give your peeps a heads up when you'll be hard to reach so they don't worry. Set reminders to check in if you're prone to disappearing. When overwhelmed, say that - don't just go silent. People understand. Stacey Hererra 
I was chatting with a friend today, she said something that made me sit up and pay attention.  She said "Self Isolation can become unhealthy." Why did that resonate with me? I spend  A LOT of time alone. even more so when I am going through life's challenges, the ups and downs of what we called lifing. I had to ask myself when she said it, am I self isolating in a healthy or unhealthy way?What do you mean by that? She said its all in the intention. Are you running or are you healing?
There are times I would go somewhere for a few days, no phone! sometimes to get away from it all and sometimes to go inside myself to be centered. Having that conversation brought me to the realization that setting the intentions for the spending time alone is key. What I learnt is, spending time  alone reflecting, gets me to an advanced space of feeling and believing. Going within before doing anything sets us up for a different level of self respect, self belief and self esteem.
It also takes courage to sit in the thoughts and the feelings. It takes practice to be still. These qualities come in handy in almost everything that we encounterCourageGetting StillFeeling the Feelings
When I isolate to run from others, I remain angry, forgiveness of myself and others becomes tougher and tougherGrateful for the awareness.
Peace and Blessings Akosua's Books

Nyabo (Madam) Why Are You Here?

Now What? The Flipside

What Did I Learn Today? Lessons on the Journey to Unconditional Self Love

My Definition of Forgiving of Self

 When we can’t forgive ourselves, we remain imprisoned and separate from our world. Tara Brach

On this Journey of mine to love myself unconditionally, a recurring theme from all the books, guru's people I have met and spiritual coaches is about forgiving ourselves first. Before any attempt is made to do, to be, to fix- forgive self first!

I always wondered about that because in my mind, well what did I do wrong that requires me to forgive myself? My ego was screaming to me that there is nothing you have done that requires you to forgive yourself. I feel for it. I fell for the ego trip and truth be told that had me stuck!

I kept the focus on others, wanting them to say sorry, wanting to show them that they were wrong, out of order, they did a number on me. That energy kept me in a space of blaming, victim hood and ego tripping.

What I have learnt since changing my perspective is forgiveness goes beyond someone saying sorry and acknowledging that they did something to hurt, offend and harm you. Forgiveness is giving up the need for the past to be different to make you feel better about yourself, about what happened. Its a form of radical acceptance of what is. It is letting go of hurt, resentment and anger. When I realised that is what forgiveness was, everything changed.  

Forgiveness is really about me- how I release the feelings associated with the event that happened. Forgiving myself is saying to myself - yes this happened, it did, I did not like it, however it happened, I cannot change it so now what?

Now that it has happened and I cannot change it, what is the thing that I do now to move forward, learn and release

This is my definition of forgiving myself. I have been practicing. Changing habits take time and can be challenging. I am committed to taking my power back and forgiving Self is one of the most impactful ways to do this.

Give it a go!

Peace and Blessings

Akosua's Books

Nyabo (Madam) Why Are You Here?

Now What? The Flipside

What Did I Learn Today? Lessons on the Journey to Unconditional Self Love

Where Do You Place Your Power?

 

Too many of us attemptto connect with our power in all the wrong places: in complaining, gossiping,whining, doubt, or fear… the list goes on. Our feelings are partof what contributes to our power; the connection to our feelings is whatinfluences our outcomes. Carolyn Myss

There is power in the words that we use.

There is power in the thoughts that we think.

There is power in the choices that we make.

Where do you place your power? 

I started paying attention to this more and more, starting with the little things. When I go out for a run or for a hike, I pay attention to what I am telling myself.

When I tell myself "You can do this" or "I can do hard things" even though I am sometimes in a tight situation, or suffering through it I find something extra in the tank to move on, to finish the course.

When I complain and moan, the energy levels I have are depleted. It becomes a self prophecy  and a detour into fear.

Imagine taking that level of power of our thought and word into our daily lives when faced with difficult conversations, tough choices and life doing its usual thing throwing up lessons!

This is not to say, we ignore how we feel. It is an absolute must to feel all of our feelings, acknowledge them and use them  as guides

When we ignore our feelings and they stay in our bodies, in our minds, in our hearts. They hav no outlet. The hard ones fester and spill out in the way we talk, act and speak. 

What power are we placing in the actions we take when guided by our feelings? Is it fear, powerlessness, victimhood or is it faith, love, trust, positivity? The choice is ours

Having a few affirmations in our arsenal can help

Having a few mantras and prayers can help

Bing mindful of what we think, what we say puts us on the road to placing our power in something positive.

Peace and Blessings

Akosua's Books

Nyabo (Madam) Why Are You Here?

Now What? The Flipside

What Did I Learn Today? Lessons on the Journey to Unconditional Self Love

Your Clarity Arrives When you are ready

 Like the light of dawn, clarity that appears suddenly has been arriving all along. Maxie McCoy

Whatever decision we make, even it if appears as if its instant and out of the blue, has been happening  incrementally. We would have been thinking about it, getting signs to take a particular course of action, being divinely guided in some way - asking ourselves some questions even.

The clarity comes when we take a firm decision and what I have learnt is that it is always right on time. 

There is no rush, you cannot lose and it happens when we have made a firm decision and is ready.

Peace and Blessings

Akosua's Books

Nyabo (Madam) Why Are You Here?

Now What? The Flipside

What Did I Learn Today? Lessons on the Journey to Unconditional Self Love