Akosua Dardaine Edwards's Blog, page 134

Lighten Up

Lighten up your enlightenment. Transformation doesn't have to be deep, dark, and mysterious. If you screw up, fine—laugh at yourself, learn, and move on. Iyanla
Laugh at it, laugh at the stuation, find the humour. It ain't all that serious, really it isn't! Think about all of the seemingly embarassing moments you've had - sometimes that shit is funny! Lighten up
Fun is important as we grow, we are gonna cock up, it teaches us humilty, it imcreases our self esteem , nothing small would get us out of sync
So go ahead, laugh, have fun and know that the next time will be betterPeace
Please support this project that I am involved in to assist in the training of 6 young women from South Africa 
https://www.globalgiving.org/projects...

Old Me...This me

While burying negative or uncomfortable feelings can numb the pain, it also may inevitably dull your ability to experience your more positive and pleasurable feelings. You may find yourself afraid to open up in the future for fear of getting hurt. The feelings we deny aren’t limited to anger and sadness. Suppressing our happiness or excitement can be just as unhealthy. In learning how to express your intense emotions in a healthy way, you are giving yourself the freedom to fully experience the more joyful emotions that come with being alive.
The old me would leave it to fester, to bury it in the bowels far far awayThis me, I write it out, cry, do some exercise, talk a little moreThe old me would say nothing to be liked and avoid "seeming conflict"This me would say something as kindly as I canThe old me may have not taken responsibility or find blameThis me has decided that it's all me, I am responsible for my lifeThe old me would not even be wrting about this This me says sharing lessons on the journey teaches me and wants others to know that we are all connectedThe old me would look for a saviourThis me knows that I can save myselfWhat are your old me, this me stories?Share
Peace

Mirrors

You are the creator of your own reality, and so you are not in jeopardy. You do not need to control the behaviour of others in order for you to thrive. Your attention to things that you think they do keeps you from thriving is, in fact, what keeps you from thriving. It is not what they do to you; its what you do to you in fear of what you think that they will do to you Abraham.

I was having a conversation with someone I consider a friend, someone who I admire their resilience, discipline, focus and committment to making their life better despite their circumstance. I usually like chatting with my friend, as well as the odd hanging out, shooting the breeze, talking and laughing sharing ideas. 
I spoke to my friend last week and thought to myself that the response was a bit short so I asked if there was a problem, the response was that "I am at work, so cannot talk, have a good day" I accepted that and moved on noting to chat later.
I reached out to my friend over the weekend, with no response so I asked again if all was well or is time alone needed. No answer
I did this again
My friend told me that it's not personal but nothing was wrong but is not willing or wanting to chat with me and having difficulty in responding.  I responded that this is all good, just shoot me a message to say I am taking a time out.

My friend said to talk to me is a choice and not required, and I ought to know that the lack of response means that it is nothing personal but time is being taken away from chatting, that only respect and love is required, if I was looking for a friend to talk to everyday then I will not find it in this friendship. I was taken aback. shocked even
My friend went on to say that I am making this situation about me, taking it personal and  I have attachment issues, that a real friend will not judge or condemn this stance
Still shocked!
I responded that in the effort to not sound defensive I will not say anything except that there seems to be some misunderstanding, however, take all the time you need I am out!

I sat for a hot minute to process this, I asked a couple other friends if I have attachment issues, I googled the symtoms I could not believe it
why? because it was new information which stung me
Is this true? Do I have attachment issues? Is there something I require working on, is this a mirror? Were my intentions in this friendship off and this as well is a mirror?
I decided to tell my friend that I will take a time out, leave it alone for a bit and retreat.

Then when I thought about it, this is not the first time this has happened to me in some way, people retreating and dissapearing, people who I consider friends
I have been reflecting over the last few days on what my intentions are and what is the lesson?
On the plus side I get to see how my friend feels, I get to decide how I respond, I get to reflect and ask questions on what is the lesson
I must admit, at this point I am still processing it but willing to see what comes out of it despite the shake up!
Peace 

Listen to the Whisper

Here's the thing...It's natural to feel weird and want out. And it's normal to strive for joy and joy and joy. Without realizing you are  joy . Maxie Mccoy
Think about that time you knew that person for you, wasn't right. Maybe it was a lover or a good friend. You knew deep down there were some red flags. You saw them but pushed them off. All the signs, all the feelings in your bones, pointed to get out now. But you didn't. 

Then there were more clear messages. But you ignored. Until finally you're facing a giant and massive brick wall that feels like an utter crisis to get through.
Shoulda listened to the murmur in the beginning that told you something about this isn't right.

We get those messages all the time. But sometimes we're not listening. Sometimes we don't want to: because it'll require a tough conversation.
Because it'll require forgoing 'safety.'
 Because it'll require an unknown. 
Because it doesn't feel 'secure.' 
Because it'll make us uncomfortable. 
Because people won't understand. 
Because it's not the normal path.

Here's what I know: the most amazing decisions you'll ever make will begin with a quiet whisper to your soul.

Listen to the whisper, then act
Peace

Unveiling 2017

On the journey to self-trust, trying to prove something never works. Either you know, believe and trust that you can do a thing and you do it, or you don't believe you can do it, force yourself to work on getting it done and then sabotage it. Iyanla

Unveiling 2017 - Looking into the Mirror of Self ended yesterday. It went wildy beyond my expectations, the love, the connection, the laughter, the flow- I did not even anticipate that the outcome would be this moving
The team that put this together are some courageous, dynamic, supportive, loving and kind women, I love them all and today sit in gratitude of what they were able to do with limited resources and some of my own self doubt thrown in
The venue was fabulous, the peace and tranquility, the comfort, the scenery. 
I sit today in gratitude
Lessons on the Journey

1. Show up, as yourself
2. Be Kind, always
3. Listen 
4. Gratitude is the greatest multiplier
5. Go thru hard even when feeling the fear
6. Ask for support if you require it
7. Love more
8. Self Belief trumps all
9. Go with the Flow
10. You are everything and have everything - start there

Cheers to the Unveiling!
Peace

Level Up

Getting tackled by the other team doesn’t necessarily mean you're weak or that you made a wrong move. It means you’re in the game, not on the sidelines. If you’re playing full on, you’re going to take some hits. Take it like the light warrior that you are. Rely on your team. And get back up and run farther, even faster. DLP
This weekend will be a first, if the team around me did not volunteer to be on board, this would never happen. I am forever gratefulLevel up the team around you, level it up!Level up the love, the gratitude, the support, the authenticityLevel up means support your team, support your friends, when they have a dream, a goal,Level up means when you have a dream and a goal and the ones around you are salty, be courageous to to recognise that you may have to get another crew because just maybe you have outgrown this one and if you don't the Universe is self correcting and would do ehat it has to do to ensure that you level up, that may not be pretty so why not do it on your own?
This weekend we Unveil, including me, nuff respect to the team and thank you for the part you played in me levelling up!Peace

Who Are You Becoming?

I think there is a lot you learn from what has happened to you, what you have had to confront, not how many books you have read about leadership, not how peaceful the environment you have grown up in. Those difficulties, that kind of a situation I think explains the conditions you are operating under or things you face, if you have made the choice to deal with it  Paul Kigame
One of my friends says many times that the proof is in the pudding, not being one to fancy pudding I always chuckled at it and responded that I guess I will not be finding the proof because I will not touch the stuff. Stale jokes to really make the seriousness of a matter lighterNothing beats experience, nothing beats going in and taking action, going through the fire. NothingThe books, the courses, the YouTube vidoes, the Internet and social media will provide information and guidance however, the experience of putting it into the action trumps it all.  The choices you make, the reactions that you have and the lessons are all different when one has gone through the experience, it brings out qualities in you that you never thought you had.
Many times I wanted to achieve a goal, I went in gung ho researching what was required. And then I would embark on the journey to get it. The research helped but nothing subsituted for the mindset that I achieved, the discipline, the boundaries I had to set all far outweighed anything that I read or learnt in a book or a class or online. That information was only a platform and aid. Sometimes all the book/research learning did not even apply, intutition and common sense and drawing from other experiences had to come into playAll this to say, jump in, make the mistakes, you don't have to know everything about the situation, who are you becoming?Peace

Combo's

However many holy words you read, however many you speak, what good will they do you if you do not act on upon them?"
- Buddha
The old proverb says action speaks louder than words.  Words alone cannot make dreams realiseWords alone cannot make you write the book, sing the song, get the degree, paint the picture, play the instrument, words alone will just not do itYou got to move yourself, do the thing, get off your but, literally and in your vocabulary. All the "buts" that are in your way.
Words are part of the puzzle, you must speak it into being does not mean just say it and it will manifest, some work on it is involved, some self belief, some movement, its a combo!
Order up your combo and wait for the dreams to manifestPeace

This Need Not Be

This need not Be  ACIM
One of the beautiful things I love about  A Course in Miracles(ACIM) is its simplicity. The Course talks about the power of our mind, and how much we misuse its power especially by 
 1. not forgiving, especially ourselves and
 2.judging others. 

From the actions of non forgiveness and judging we project our guilt onto others and we also punish ourselves through the choices we make.  Guilt demands punishment and so we make choices where we punish ourselves.
The Course says simply - this need not be. 
Start simply by saying that to yourself in a moment where you have made a choice which leaves you with no peace. 
When you are constantly sad, know that - This need not be When you are  constantly anxious and afraid know that - This need not beWhen you  constantly feel guilty know that - This need not be
A simple statement, said with belief starts a shiftThis need not be
Give it a go
Peace

Are You Ready and Willing for Growth?

Making mistakes is a sign of growth; of trying something brand new, or so unusual that you don’t recognize it. There can never be growth without trying something new -- there cannot be growth without mistakes. Making mistakes is rewarded by nature, it’s the elimination of possibilities on the road to accomplishment Guru Singh
Raise your hand, right up if you believe in growth? 
Newsflash - if you do and is willing to grow guess what, you are going to make mistakes, things may turn out completely different to what is in your mind. So, if you are afraid, ashamed, unwilling, don't want to rock any boats and maintain the status quo, guess what, there will be no growth
Apply this to everything! Every.single.thingDietExerciseJobsOpening a BusinessWriting a Bookand I can continue listing
Shifting a gear, moving to another level requires a change of mindset, a change of action, a self belief, the belief that you may just look "stoopid" dropping the defenses and the excuses and justifications for remaining where you areI've said it and heard most of the excuses and justifications - all designed by us to remain where we are and have a "reason"the kidsthe economythe jobthe timingthe husbandthe wifethe carthe money - oh the moneyyada yada yada
Just do one thing different every day, one thing, and start from thereevery little drop fills a bucket
Peace