Akosua Dardaine Edwards's Blog, page 130
November 9, 2017
Returning Stronger
1.
shift your focus from what’s wrong to what’s possible
- Iyanla Vanzant
I I wanted to be an accountant for as long as I knew myself, I just knew I would be one. I believed it was written. And then when I achieved that dream I would live a rockstar life!
I I studied accountancy, I was chartered and certified in the mecca of accounting - The United KingdomI I believed that I was a rock star, I was out there "living the life", and then just like that poof, it was gone. Truth be told, I was living in fear, I was afraid that it was too good to be true, that I would lose it, that I did not deserve it, it was a very anxious way to love, looking over my shoulder, protecting it, hiding it. And as I learnt now every thought is a prayer, I prayed for the loss of it unconsciously. I did lose it, spectacularly. A testatment of what lac of self belief and fear can manifest All that to say is now that I am no longer a practising accountant, and doing what I believe ismy purpose, I have been asked to speak at the annual international accountants conference today! How ironic is that? I am speaking in a room of past peers, on a whole other topic! Life, life has a way of keeping us humble I am a combination cocktail of nervous, excited and grateful! Check you on the flip side... Peace
I I wanted to be an accountant for as long as I knew myself, I just knew I would be one. I believed it was written. And then when I achieved that dream I would live a rockstar life!
I I studied accountancy, I was chartered and certified in the mecca of accounting - The United KingdomI I believed that I was a rock star, I was out there "living the life", and then just like that poof, it was gone. Truth be told, I was living in fear, I was afraid that it was too good to be true, that I would lose it, that I did not deserve it, it was a very anxious way to love, looking over my shoulder, protecting it, hiding it. And as I learnt now every thought is a prayer, I prayed for the loss of it unconsciously. I did lose it, spectacularly. A testatment of what lac of self belief and fear can manifest All that to say is now that I am no longer a practising accountant, and doing what I believe ismy purpose, I have been asked to speak at the annual international accountants conference today! How ironic is that? I am speaking in a room of past peers, on a whole other topic! Life, life has a way of keeping us humble I am a combination cocktail of nervous, excited and grateful! Check you on the flip side... Peace
November 8, 2017
The Soft Things Bend
The hard things break, the soft things bend. Of course, we are all hard and soft, stubborn and flexible, and so we all break until we learn and are battered until we accept what is before us
Mark Nepo
The work is really about ourselves, what are we here to learn, what are we here to share, what are we here to develop. The moment we project and blame and not take responsibility the lessons take longer to happen and therein lies the sufferation.
How can I grow?
What is this situation telling me?
What can I do with love?
How can I create boundaries?
How can I share these lessons?
How can I forgive?
Micheal Beckwith says when we ask disempowering questions, the Universe responds accordingly
Disempowering questions include
Why me?
Why is this happening?
What are you doing to me?
So which one would you choose?
This will not mean you will be a walkover or have no boundaries, because sometimes the loving response is no, but that no will come from an empowering and kind space and will foster moving foreard rather than destruction
Catch that
Peace
The work is really about ourselves, what are we here to learn, what are we here to share, what are we here to develop. The moment we project and blame and not take responsibility the lessons take longer to happen and therein lies the sufferation.
How can I grow?
What is this situation telling me?
What can I do with love?
How can I create boundaries?
How can I share these lessons?
How can I forgive?
Micheal Beckwith says when we ask disempowering questions, the Universe responds accordingly
Disempowering questions include
Why me?
Why is this happening?
What are you doing to me?
So which one would you choose?
This will not mean you will be a walkover or have no boundaries, because sometimes the loving response is no, but that no will come from an empowering and kind space and will foster moving foreard rather than destruction
Catch that
Peace
November 7, 2017
Kind Words Taste Better
You don't have to be disagreeable when you disagree
- Eckhart Tolle
We sometimes have different views. Different experiences lead us to having different perceptions and then there is the ego! the part of us that tells us to hang on to our beliefs no matter what and define ourselves by them even if they are harming us or separating us from our brothers and sisters and most importantlyour happiness.
All that to say, we may not always share the same opinion or views. But golly, can we just disagree in a kind way? Why is that so hard? Well most times its when the feeling stems from the ego and we want to attack or defend a position. One can be extremely passionate in one's opinion and still be kind
Words, they cannot be taken back, once they leave it's source all that can follow is an apology. When they are laced with kindness chances are they taste better if you have to eat them.
So, be kind when you have a difference of opinion and want to express it to the someone else. Give it how you would want to receive it!
This is also a gentle (and kind) reminder to myself
Peace
We sometimes have different views. Different experiences lead us to having different perceptions and then there is the ego! the part of us that tells us to hang on to our beliefs no matter what and define ourselves by them even if they are harming us or separating us from our brothers and sisters and most importantlyour happiness.
All that to say, we may not always share the same opinion or views. But golly, can we just disagree in a kind way? Why is that so hard? Well most times its when the feeling stems from the ego and we want to attack or defend a position. One can be extremely passionate in one's opinion and still be kind
Words, they cannot be taken back, once they leave it's source all that can follow is an apology. When they are laced with kindness chances are they taste better if you have to eat them.
So, be kind when you have a difference of opinion and want to express it to the someone else. Give it how you would want to receive it!
This is also a gentle (and kind) reminder to myself
Peace
November 6, 2017
I aint Shame!
“Shame is a soul eating emotion.” C.G. Jung
One phrase that I have eliminated from my normal conversation is "I'm shame" or as we say here in my home country "ah shame".
Shame according to Psychology Today, "As a self-conscious emotion, shame informs you of an internal state of inadequacy, unworthiness, dishonor, or regret about which others may or may not be aware. Another person, circumstance, or situation can trigger shame in you, but so can a failure to meet your own ideals or standards whether or not they are perfectionist. Given that shame can lead you to feel as though your whole self is flawed, bad, or subject to exclusion, it makes you want to withdraw or hide yourself. So it is no wonder that shame lurks behind addictions that seek to mask its impact"
I rationalised in my mind that not speaking the word out loud and not attributing it to me and my actions is a first step in not only working out the difference between shame and guilt but also in finding the appropriate words to describe my feelings and deal with them accordingly
Shame needs secrets to survive, it cannot thrive in the open, this is why it is important to tell someone, write it out, let it out in someway, it frees you up to move forward.
Free up yourself
Peace
One phrase that I have eliminated from my normal conversation is "I'm shame" or as we say here in my home country "ah shame".
Shame according to Psychology Today, "As a self-conscious emotion, shame informs you of an internal state of inadequacy, unworthiness, dishonor, or regret about which others may or may not be aware. Another person, circumstance, or situation can trigger shame in you, but so can a failure to meet your own ideals or standards whether or not they are perfectionist. Given that shame can lead you to feel as though your whole self is flawed, bad, or subject to exclusion, it makes you want to withdraw or hide yourself. So it is no wonder that shame lurks behind addictions that seek to mask its impact"
I rationalised in my mind that not speaking the word out loud and not attributing it to me and my actions is a first step in not only working out the difference between shame and guilt but also in finding the appropriate words to describe my feelings and deal with them accordingly
Shame needs secrets to survive, it cannot thrive in the open, this is why it is important to tell someone, write it out, let it out in someway, it frees you up to move forward.
Free up yourself
Peace
November 4, 2017
Give thanks
Wouldn't take nothing for my Journey Now
- Maya Angelo
If anyone told me that I would be giving speeches and talks to people from all over the world I would laugh my head off, you know the type of laughter where you slap your leg? The one that opens your mouth and holla!
I would say no because it was not at all in my own life plans, I thought of myself as behind the scenes type of gal! The engine room. I was totally petrified to speak in front of a crowd, any crowd, even my family. I would say though that the journey to get here I would not change for the world. I became courageous, I became independent, I became someone who has a voice, I became safer in my skin. That would not have happened any other way so I give thanks for that.
The Journey is the path, that I have learnt. How I got there is the learning, what I became in the process.
Don't knock the process, trust it
Recognise that it is happening for you,not to you
and give thanks for it all
Peace
If anyone told me that I would be giving speeches and talks to people from all over the world I would laugh my head off, you know the type of laughter where you slap your leg? The one that opens your mouth and holla!
I would say no because it was not at all in my own life plans, I thought of myself as behind the scenes type of gal! The engine room. I was totally petrified to speak in front of a crowd, any crowd, even my family. I would say though that the journey to get here I would not change for the world. I became courageous, I became independent, I became someone who has a voice, I became safer in my skin. That would not have happened any other way so I give thanks for that.
The Journey is the path, that I have learnt. How I got there is the learning, what I became in the process.
Don't knock the process, trust it
Recognise that it is happening for you,not to you
and give thanks for it all
Peace
November 3, 2017
Out of the Boxes
Maybe you’re just kind of weird in a world that rewards “normal”. Too woo woo in a very linear, narrow-sighted culture. You’re doing all the good, metaphysical, motivational work but you feel like there’s a veil between you and what you really want to manifest, and if you get it, you don't get to keep it. Erase erase.
That’s the subtle but very toxic Lie of Inadequacy telling you that you’re here and what you want is way over there, on the “right” side of it all. Danielle La Porte
Today I had the distinct pleasure of being chosen as the champion of the Green Economy Coalition's presentation of the Santa Cruz Green Enterprise Declaration. A statment of intent. Countries such as Trinidad and Tobago, Grenada, Dominica, Uganda, Peru, South Africa, Cuba, Dominican Republic, Mongolia came together to share lessons and declfare their intent to share this with the world. I was pleased and happy to have read the declaration with our fellow brothers and sisters.
I felt proud to be chosen, proud to be a part of this movement, proud to be the bringer of this message! and grateful!
Let's see how we move forward
Peace
That’s the subtle but very toxic Lie of Inadequacy telling you that you’re here and what you want is way over there, on the “right” side of it all. Danielle La Porte
Today I had the distinct pleasure of being chosen as the champion of the Green Economy Coalition's presentation of the Santa Cruz Green Enterprise Declaration. A statment of intent. Countries such as Trinidad and Tobago, Grenada, Dominica, Uganda, Peru, South Africa, Cuba, Dominican Republic, Mongolia came together to share lessons and declfare their intent to share this with the world. I was pleased and happy to have read the declaration with our fellow brothers and sisters.
I felt proud to be chosen, proud to be a part of this movement, proud to be the bringer of this message! and grateful!
Let's see how we move forward
Peace
November 2, 2017
Am I Judging You?
“You need to hear the truth about yourself as frequently as possible, because your mind is so preoccupied with false self-images.”
– A Course In Miracles
I sometimes have difficulty in being clear on the difference between being judgemental and calling a thing a thing!
A recent article I read in Psychology Today gave five signs of being judgemental, I am now going to start using this "radar" as my yardstick in determining if I am being judgemental
1. Making a lot of negative moral evaluations of others.2. Having a moral rating system that is skewed in your own favor.3. Jumping to negative moral conclusions about others; being inclined to believe the worst. 4. Moving very quickly from judgments of the form "This action is morally wrong" to ones of the form "This person is morally corrupt." 5. Acting as if you can know that what so-and-so did was wrong even though you know much less about the context of so-and-so's action than so-and-so. Just sharing my musings on the thoughts I have on judging people, that is all!Any thoughts?Peace
I sometimes have difficulty in being clear on the difference between being judgemental and calling a thing a thing!
A recent article I read in Psychology Today gave five signs of being judgemental, I am now going to start using this "radar" as my yardstick in determining if I am being judgemental
1. Making a lot of negative moral evaluations of others.2. Having a moral rating system that is skewed in your own favor.3. Jumping to negative moral conclusions about others; being inclined to believe the worst. 4. Moving very quickly from judgments of the form "This action is morally wrong" to ones of the form "This person is morally corrupt." 5. Acting as if you can know that what so-and-so did was wrong even though you know much less about the context of so-and-so's action than so-and-so. Just sharing my musings on the thoughts I have on judging people, that is all!Any thoughts?Peace
November 1, 2017
Pay Attention Inward Now
Pain is only a gift if you do the emotional and mental work to transform the pain into power. That's
the discerning, conscientious part
. Danielle La Porte
The definition of Pain according to the wonderful philosopher Iyanla is Pay Attention Inward NOW.
Pay.Attention.Inward.Now
Some very powerful words in there. What jumps out at me is Inward.Now
not outward, not with anyone else, but with youPay attention to you nowI take it to be still, be open, take action, in the momentwhen we pay external attention - no resultwhen we project outwards - no resultwhen we do not pay attention - the pain gets more intensewhen we do not pay attention NOW - the issue is prolonged
We have to do some work, some emotional work, some mental work, sometimes some physical work, there is a part that you need to play in this learning and transformation
you have to take responsibility, it's just that simple!
Peace
The definition of Pain according to the wonderful philosopher Iyanla is Pay Attention Inward NOW.
Pay.Attention.Inward.Now
Some very powerful words in there. What jumps out at me is Inward.Now
not outward, not with anyone else, but with youPay attention to you nowI take it to be still, be open, take action, in the momentwhen we pay external attention - no resultwhen we project outwards - no resultwhen we do not pay attention - the pain gets more intensewhen we do not pay attention NOW - the issue is prolonged
We have to do some work, some emotional work, some mental work, sometimes some physical work, there is a part that you need to play in this learning and transformation
you have to take responsibility, it's just that simple!
Peace
October 31, 2017
You cannot lose something that you are
“
Give up defining yourself - to yourself or to others. You won't die. You will come to life. And don't be concerned with how others define you. When they define you, they are limiting themselves, so it's their problem. Whenever you interact with people, don't be there primarily as a function or a role, but as the field of conscious Presence. You can only lose something that you have, but you cannot lose something that you are.”
― Eckhart Tolle, A New Earth: Awakening to Your Life's Purpose
I love Eckart Tolle's work, I was listeneing to a podcast by him this morning, it was such a timely reminder for me that I am not my thoughts, it also reminded me that we all have an ego however it is up to us if we identify with the ego self. His explanation of what the ego is nailed it for me
He says the ego means to be indentified with the mind, with thought, structires, opinions and points of view, to the extent that you derive your sense of self, who you are with these structures and these thoughts. When we identify with mental structures only, you are operating from the egoyou want to be rightyour point of view is the bestyou want to prove others wrongyou want to be seen to be rightto the point where you get upset, angry and make enemies when others share a different opinion or don't agree with youI get that!It doesnt always mean that it is people who are arrogant, who are a show off, who was loud, in fact that is not it, it is simply identifiying with thoughts and structures and mindset and believe it with all of your mind.Ain't that some wisdom??I'mma leave that right here for y'all!Catch thatPeace
― Eckhart Tolle, A New Earth: Awakening to Your Life's Purpose
I love Eckart Tolle's work, I was listeneing to a podcast by him this morning, it was such a timely reminder for me that I am not my thoughts, it also reminded me that we all have an ego however it is up to us if we identify with the ego self. His explanation of what the ego is nailed it for me
He says the ego means to be indentified with the mind, with thought, structires, opinions and points of view, to the extent that you derive your sense of self, who you are with these structures and these thoughts. When we identify with mental structures only, you are operating from the egoyou want to be rightyour point of view is the bestyou want to prove others wrongyou want to be seen to be rightto the point where you get upset, angry and make enemies when others share a different opinion or don't agree with youI get that!It doesnt always mean that it is people who are arrogant, who are a show off, who was loud, in fact that is not it, it is simply identifiying with thoughts and structures and mindset and believe it with all of your mind.Ain't that some wisdom??I'mma leave that right here for y'all!Catch thatPeace
October 30, 2017
Steppin Out
Steppin' out, steppin' out
Journey through the tunnel of love Wisdom is respected hatred is rejected Steel Pulse (Steppin Out)
Growth and change are essential and many times painful
Painful because we as humans like certainty, control and comfort.
Anything that is shaky or uncertain gives us humans anxiety and makes us nervous.
Think about it, new job, new place to live, new relationship- we get jittery!
The need to control is real!
Right now in my life, changes are happening like a rapid force, new people are coming into my life, old ones are leaving, different opportunities are coming and others have stopped. And that shit is scary. I have no idea what is going to happen next, and what is wonderful about that scary feeling is that I am always learning and growing and delighted in the unexpected.
The toughest thing for me is when people leave my life! As a recovering people pleaser I analyse and over think the reasons. Truth be told, they have grown and changed, I may have not and vice versa. Resisting what is, resisting the moment as is brings you more anxiety and stress.
So I have been learning to let go, to accept what is, to accept the choices people make and know that is the experience that I am having at the moment and is being brought to me for a reason. Once I do that it is easier to let go
I have had people who I thought were bonafide friends who just disappear from my radar, I ask them, I call them, I text them, FB them and their explanation baffled me - I automatically went into "what did I do?" then at some point I realise that it wasn't about me, it is what it is and let go, feel the feelings and let go, remember the good times and the lessons
Its a challenge.... life's big classroom
And so this week my intention is to let go of control, to live fully in the moment and be grateful for all the experiences knowing that it is for me to express my highest self!
Peace
Journey through the tunnel of love Wisdom is respected hatred is rejected Steel Pulse (Steppin Out)
Growth and change are essential and many times painful
Painful because we as humans like certainty, control and comfort.
Anything that is shaky or uncertain gives us humans anxiety and makes us nervous.
Think about it, new job, new place to live, new relationship- we get jittery!
The need to control is real!
Right now in my life, changes are happening like a rapid force, new people are coming into my life, old ones are leaving, different opportunities are coming and others have stopped. And that shit is scary. I have no idea what is going to happen next, and what is wonderful about that scary feeling is that I am always learning and growing and delighted in the unexpected.
The toughest thing for me is when people leave my life! As a recovering people pleaser I analyse and over think the reasons. Truth be told, they have grown and changed, I may have not and vice versa. Resisting what is, resisting the moment as is brings you more anxiety and stress.
So I have been learning to let go, to accept what is, to accept the choices people make and know that is the experience that I am having at the moment and is being brought to me for a reason. Once I do that it is easier to let go
I have had people who I thought were bonafide friends who just disappear from my radar, I ask them, I call them, I text them, FB them and their explanation baffled me - I automatically went into "what did I do?" then at some point I realise that it wasn't about me, it is what it is and let go, feel the feelings and let go, remember the good times and the lessons
Its a challenge.... life's big classroom
And so this week my intention is to let go of control, to live fully in the moment and be grateful for all the experiences knowing that it is for me to express my highest self!
Peace
