Akosua Dardaine Edwards's Blog, page 127

Words I Must Eliminate from My Vocabulary

Words are powerful forces of nature. they are destruction. they are nourishment. they are flesh. 
they are water.they are flowers and bone. they burn. they cleanse  they erase. they etch.   Sonober Khan


I'm going all out, taking a leap and eliminating these that I believe keep me from being the best me and the best  me is required to do the work that I know I am here in this moment to do

1. I can't - Classic - and guess what boo? "Yes You Can"

2. I cannot afford it - another classic- reword it when it hits your brain before it leaves your mouth - these words are now gone- Dueces!

3. Should - Don't should on yourself, on other people and don't let people should on you! - Its a judgement - I hereby now release all judgements

4. I'm trying - I am doing or I am not doing- I don't trust the term "I'm trying" too easy to wiggle out and said - oops at least I tried - Just do

5. I'm trying ah ting! - what the hell does that mean? I'm banishing this term immediately

6. I'm broke - another one which requires rewiring and rewording because yes, every word adn thought is a prayer and all prayers are answered

7. I don't have the time - hellllooooo - you mean I don't want to do it, I don't want to make the time and I am not interested in making it a priority - keep it real will ya?

8. I don't have the money - it's called fear and lack and laziness really!

9. Those people made me do it - are you a robot? 

10. It's just the way I am, I cannot change - this one is total and utter bollocks- we change everyday, life is about change, stop using this as an excuse for not moving, growing,living. Are you a robot?

Share some of yours, let's chat

Peace

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5 Things I am Leaving Behind in 2017

Self-love begins with taking that fearless inventory where you’re able to go into the attic or the closet of yourself and see what’s there. What do you appreciate about yourself? How do you interact with other people? bell hooks

1. Passive Aggressive Responses and Behaviours - yes, those are being left wholey and soley here in 2017, you know the snide under the collar comments, the not returning phone calls and the silent treatment - done with that. I will speak, state my truth kindly and clearly with the intention of peace and love. Let the chips fall where they may
2. Running my self ragged in the name of growth and progress - done with this too- going all out all the time. There has to be some downtime in there for rest and recharge
3. Eating for Eating sake - oh I love me some pastries and chocolate but as with everything too much is really too much! Mindful eating is the new way forward
4. Saying Yes when I really ought to be saying No - I have started practicing my No - in front the mirror. Sometimes the loving response is NO!
5. Spending ALL my money - saving and paying off debts here I come
Do you have anything that you are leaving behing in  2017Share!
Peace
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Illusions are not Real

Illusion never changed
Into something real
I'm wide awake and I can see The perfect sky is torn - Natalie Imbruglia

An Illusion  is defined as a false idea or belief. An instance of a wrong or misinterpreted perception. 
A Course in Miracles says illusions are the main reason we make the detour from love into fear- because we make decisions on illusions- false ideas, false beliefs, wrong or misinterpreted perceptions
How many times have I ran off on a tangent believing that either someone is "doing something to me" or "the thing is all wrong and needs to be corrected" based on illusions - oh many many times
I have not made a conscious decision to ask many questions - much to the dismay of others, I want to be clear that I am moving ahead based on the truth rather than on illusions
I haven't mastered the art yet especially with people that I am interested in having a relationship with but I continue to do the work!
Asking questions helps in reducing assumptions, it is also a wonderful learning tool
Some people may lie - sometimes we pick up on the lies immediately and we now have to make a decision, other times we don't pick up on the lie right away but it is still valuable information as people lie because they are scared, want to please others or are just plain ole liars not taking responsibility for their actions. You get to choose

You ALWAYS fight illusions
The truth could never be attacked
Appearances deceive BECAUSE they are appearances, and not reality. Dwell not on them in any form. They but obscure reality. And they bring fear BECAUSE they hide the truth. Do not attack what you have made to LET you be deceived. For thus you prove that you HAVE been deceived. Attack HAS power to make illusions real. Yet what it makes is nothing. Who could be made fearful by a power that can have no real effects at all? What could it be but an illusion, making things appear like to itself?


Peace
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Rest More

It’s a continual fight that requires some serious daily rituals: hard work, exercise, meditation, reading, writing, and talking with people that love us. 
I came down with the flu this week. There is always a lesson that comes along with me and getting the flu. I know it because it is one of the things I absolutely cannot stand! getting ill. My own belief system is that getting the flu or ill is a manifestation of something that I am not ready, willing or able to deal with and healI know, I know, it is an extreme position to take, it is truly how I feelThe manifestation of the flu and me being unable to move around to me indicates:not taking enough time to restnot paying attention to my eating habitsworrying unecessarily about lack - lack of money, lack of time, lack of workbad habitspoor health choices
so the lesson is not beating up myself when I do get the flu. Life happens and this situation is feedback to do something different, to change something, rest more, eat better, sleep more restfullyTook me a while but slowly gets me there tooExcuse me while I go back to sleepPeace
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I surrender control

I surrender control, fear of control, lack of control, the need to control and all issues related to control at their deepest root and cause, in my mind, heart, life, and in the world.
I declare they be exposed and eliminated under grace.  I surrender attachment to all outcomes that I imagine, demand, fear, require and attempt to control . Iyanla Vanzant
At the beginning of every month I write down what my desired feelings for the month are (usually they are the same, love, contentment, abundance, authenticity, service) then from that I do a check in list which details what are some of the things that I want to come out of those desires (usually they are the same too! I am seeing a pattern here, anyways I digress - get 2 speaking gigs and do my absolute bestest when I am given the opportunity, reduce my debts, and so on)

Lately I have been noticing that these desires are now becoming lists - and I have started getting pretty anxious and sometimes a little under the weather when at the beginning of the following month I review 
I start reading and I realise - okay  I did not do this, nor this, nor this, nor this NOOOOOOO!!! What is really going on?

So for December I have gone back to the basics - How do I want to feel? Do you know we get things to feel a certain way and we can have the feelings most ime without the "things" because it is all inside us?
I focused on how I want to control the outcomes - I am a secret control freak!! who knew??

Control is one of the highest forms of addiction in the world- we want to know! We want to look good, we want praise, we don't want to be hurt! Control cannot solve this! Do the work, do what is required, be open honest and authentic, have faith then let it go

Kyle D Jones, someone I respect a whole lot has a theory that not healing childhood woulds contributes to the feeling that we need to be in control, if we were not protected or did not feel totally loved and cared for during our childhood we resort to protecting ourselves - fair enough! and sometimes this spills over as wanting to be in control, no matter what the consequences are. 
So, what do we do? We know and trust that we are protected, we are loved, we have done the work, we have put in the shift and whatever happens after we will handle it- as part of the wonderful Journey called Life

Peace

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Feelings Are Guides

You're spending too much time "in your head" these days. How about getting out of your thoughts and into your feelings? You've analyzed it to death. Now it's about moving from your head to your heart. Neale Donald Walsh

Feelings are guides. A guide shows the way to something or someone or somewhereYour feelings let you know if something hurts, if it feels good, if it is uncomfortableYour head, your mind has its duties but it is never a guide
We analyse a thing to death- sometimes literallyoverthinking!
We ignore our feelings and tell ourselves it must be or it must not be something else
Your feelings trigger your mind to take action, or not take actionthen we start overthinking the thing so much that we either move or don't move - total opposite of what we were guided to dowhy? because many times the feeling is illogical, may times the feeling guides us to doing something that is out of the ordinary, it may guide us to change - and we all know how humans feel about changeit may lead us to cry- another social construct which says too much crying may come accross as weak
We want to "safeguard" ourselves, feelings allow for vulnerability which is another social construct looked upon as weak
Use them as they are supposed to be used - as a guidewhen the guide leads you to the spot- it leaves you to get on with it, it departs to allow you to so what it is you were guided to do.Peace

THE A IN SELF LOVE

“Like anyone you love, you have to learn to respect yourself and that means becoming a person you’re proud of   —   one who holds themselves to commitments, shows up when they say they will and takes the needs of others into consideration. Self-love does not mean putting yourself ahead of others without good reason.” Kris Cage


WHAT HAPPENS AFTER YOU HAVE REACHED A POINT OF UNCONDITIONAL SELF LOVE? DOES LIFE JUST RUN SMOOTHLY? IS THERE CONTINUAL BLISS? ARE ALL YOUR PROBLEMS MAGICALLY SOLVED?WELL I WOULD SAY NOUNCONDITIONAL SELF LOVE IS NOT THE ANSWER TO ALLIT REALLY ISN’TUNCONDITIONAL SELF LOVE OFFERS HOPE THE HOPE FOR CONFIDENCE TO DEAL WITH THE CHALLENGES ONE WILL INEVITABLY FACE ON THIS JOURNEY CALLED LIFEDO NOT BE FOOLED INTO THINKING FINDING UNCONDITIONAL SELF LOVE IS THE ULTIMATE FIXERWHAT THIS LOVE DOES IS, IT HOLD YOU ACCOUNTABLE, IT MAKES YOU MORE RESPONSIBLE AND IT LEADS TO MAKING MORE HOPEFUL AND LOVING DECISIONS BOTH FOR YOU AND OTHERSIT DOES NOT GIVE YOU A PASS TO BE A JERK TO OTHERS IN THE NAME OF “I LOVE MYSELF”IT DOES NOT GIVE YOU THE REASON TO BLAME ANYONE OR ANYTHING ON “FOR THE LOVE”UNCONDITIONAL SELF LOVE IS THE FOUNDATIONWITHOUT A SOLID FOUNDATION EVERYTHING ALL FALLS DOWNACCOUNTABILITY LOOKS LIKE OWNING YOUR STUFFIT LOOKS LIKE SHOWING UPIT LOOKS LIKE KEEPING YOUR WORDIT LOOKS LIKE FORGIVENESSIT LOOKS LIKE EMPATHY AND COMPASSIONIT LOOKS LIKE BOUNDARIESACCOUNTABILITY LEADS TO MAKING BETTER CHOICES AND DECISIONSTHERE IS NO SELF LOVE WITHOUT ACCOUNTABILITY AND WITHOUT ACCOUNTABILITY HOPE IS LOSTHERE’S THE THING, WE GET TO THE POINT OF UNCONDITIONAL SELF LOVE AND BEYOND BY HOLDING OURSELVES ACCOUNTABLE, BY HOLDING OTHERS ACCOUNTABLE THE A IN LOVE IS ACCOUNTABILITY

Rise Up

The Universe will not support you in minimizing yourself. Rise Up - Marianne Williamson
I came accross a Facebook Vid yesterday. Awakening One Million. The message resonated with me so much that I stopped dead in my tracks.
The vid said " every thought, every single one you think is a prayer it is a request to the Universe" It demonstrates what you believe about yourself and about your life. Here is the thing- all prayers are answered in some way so when you think, you pray
1. This is hard2. I can't do this3. I am alone and I don't have anybody4. I'm broke4. I'm tired of this
You pray that pray and it gets answered
How about that?
This is hard is a prayer - it gets answered with yes it is! How about rephrasing this to I can do this despite the challenge - the answer to the prayer is - yes you can do this
I am broke - the answer is yes you are! thank you

What am I thinking right now? That is a call to the Universehow awesome is that? So much power, so much responsibility, so much lovewhat am I doing with it?what are we doing with all this power, love and responsibility?

Do You Have Holiday Rituals?

Get to know yourselves
We spend time looking outside of ourselves to tell us who WE are, Take time to know who you are
Iyanla Vanzant

A very cool lady that I have the previledge of knowing asked me why do I go away and spend time alone over the holidays. The way she asked it I received it with such care and love, there was no judgement attached nor did it felt that she thought I was strange for doing it. For the first time I did not start off answering by being defensive and feeling that I had to justify why I do it.
And what I came up with is - spending time with myself ususally quietly impacts how I live my life that upcoming year, it assists in me getting to know me- what works , what did not work, it gives me time to self correct and self forgive. Christmas time always seemed to me growing up t be such a busy time, lots happening at home, there was always the expectation of paining the house, varnishing the chairs, getting new curtains, people invading the house, cooking. I craved quiet. There were times I would go to my room and stay there and all hell would break loose- y folks would come upstairs and demand that I come downstairs, that I stop the anti-social behaviour and stop embarrassing them. So I would go downstairs as requested. Showing up, sitting around the table listening to the stories and watching the action happening.
As I grew up, I decided that I would decide whether I would want to be around a ton load of people for the holiday season or not and did that a few times. What works for me is taking that quiet time to reflect and reboot
I really enjoy being in a quiet spot to recharge my batteries
This year will be no different I am mixing some quiet time with some learning
What are some of your holiday rituals?
Peace

You Deserve....

We really do think that too much joy is threatening and dangerous. We value our suspicions. We cherish our defenses. We're afraid of simply opening up to joy. So, quite unconsciously most of the time, we request unhappiness. We choose not to be peaceful. ACIM


Have you ever thought to yourself sometimes " This is too good to be true?" and all of a sudden things start going sour, they plummet South. Did you ever think that unconsciously you may be in your own way, blocking your own growth and blessings? punishing yourself for some thing that you have not dealt with or healed that you feel guilty about?




That sounds crazy doesn't it?
Why would we punish our own self? Block our own blessings? Get in our own way?

I say it is simply a case of not believing we deserve it. There can be many reasons that lead to that belief 

The lesson explains that I can be confused about what I want; that I can think pain is pleasure, or that joy is threatening. The latter is perhaps a little easier to understand since it is a common experience. Haven't you ever had the thought "This is too good to last"? Or perhaps you've found yourself very happy in a relationship and suddenly getting afraid of it because some part of you is nearly certain that if you keep your guard down you're going to get smacked good. I had a friend who somehow entered a very high and totally joyful state of mind and was there for nearly three weeks until she started thinking, "This is wonderful. I love everybody, I have no fear of anything, but if I live like this in the world I'm going to get crucified. Maybe I'm not enlightened; maybe I'm just insane." So she lost the joy, and it never came back in quite the same way.

We really do think that too much joy is threatening and dangerous. We value our suspicions. We cherish our defenses. We're afraid of simply opening up to joy. So, quite unconsciously most of the time, we request unhappiness. We choose not to be peaceful.

I have consciously been paying attention and started talking to myself "I choose differently" "I want to see this differently" "Let me choose again" making this a mantra
It brings me to the point of NOW, to remember that I deserve joy, I deserve a life filled with love and laughter and sometimes going through the fire with an open mind leads me there

Peace