Akosua Dardaine Edwards's Blog, page 125

The Strength of Your Connections

Your self-love tank determines who you judge and how strongly. How you honor yourself governs the degree in which you respect others. And the depth of your own healing controls the health and strength of your connections.

I consider myself a calm person for the most part, unruffled under most circumstances. It's something I worked on through meditation, loving myself more and learning how to respond. It is very rare that I lose my cool. I even started paying attention to my triggers so as to respond rather than react. And so, when I do lose my cool I am really disappointed in myself. I will admit I am no enlighted master nor am I perfect. I do this because this approach feels better, saves a lot of tears and friendships, as well as, keeps my ego in check
When my cool is blown I take days to recover, this is what is one of my biggest challenge

Having said this, confessions on the journey
I lost my cool yesterday, it even got to the point of shouting ( yes I am still recovering) 
I lost my cool because I wanted  to people please 
I lost my cool because I wanted to look good 
I lost my cool because I was not authentic
I lost it because I could not understand someone else's point of view and pain
I was so frustrated at not getting it accross and not getting my way
I stood there shouting and thinking to myself - what the whole hell is going on here?
What is the lesson?
Haven't I been here before?
I felt helpless
I haven't figured out the lesson yet but I know this much, I had to apologize to everyone including myself, I still felt like yuk!
I keep asking what is the lesson, it will eventually reveal itself, in the meantime I will and intend to feel the feels, and pay attention
I may lose my friend, and so be it, I will have to deal with the consequences of that
I am interested in what I must learn to make me the best me and holding myself accountable for the part that I played in getting to this point
Peace

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Committed?

Commitment supersedes contracts, legal agreements and other constructs meant to 
enforce promises. Commitment cannot be regulated. True commitment comes from within
True commitment is deeper than contracts. 
It has more to do with who you are rather than what you do. Alicia Rodriguez

What are you committed to?
What will you commit to?
Are you even interested in having any committments, in keeping your committments?
What will you do to keep your committments?
What makes you keep your committments?
What makes you break your committments?
Pondered on these today and I came up with this
There is nothing worse than breaking the committments I made to myselfdoesn't build self belief, nor trust in self or othersGoes back to - it starts with me
Peace
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Good Never Runs Out

Good never runs out although it may change form - Neale Donald Walsh 
Confessions on the Journey - so my doubts kicked in yesterday and I kept asking myself "how can I make better choices? How can I make better choices financially and in all relationships, especially intimate ones?'
"How do I keep the faith when the noises of self doubt kick in?"

I live in this here world, and it takes faith to show up and slay the doubts. The world here has its status quo and rules and regulations, living within it when one has made a choice to go a different route to the status quo. Inherent in this decision, committment is required. The committment to have faith, to be committed, to show up, to be present.
So, maybe I have to accept more
maybe I have to keep showing up
maybe I have to remain committed
maybe I must feel the feels
maybe I must keep going
All I know is that it works out as it ought to and I'mma hold on to that
Peace

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Resettt

Every now and then I fall apart - Bonnie Tyler
and I allow myself too....falling apart in this sense means taking the time to regroup and reset. And, confessions on the journey, that may look like spending the day in my PJ's at home watching Netflix or movies, it may mean crying to purge, it may mean eating a big ole chocolate bar, it may mean switching off the phone and the PC, it may mean being silent, or going for a walk, I fall apart and then I, as we say here, wheel and come again!
I have stopped playing the super hero, the cape, shield, boots and sword has been retired. I know I am strong and courageous and I know that I can pull those qualities out when I need them, I have nothing to prove anymore to myself nor to anyone. So I revel in my humaness, and those who are uncomfortable with it, well what can I say? I don't know really what to tell ya!
When I reset and regroup, it's almos like brand new, beand new outlook, new energies, more love, more fire!
I invite you to give it a goPress reset- whatever that means to youThere really is nothing to provePeace
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The Running Just Puts a Plaster on the Sore

Kept it inside, didn't tell no one else
Didn't even want to admit it to yourself
And now your chest burns and your back aches
From 15 years of holding the pain
And now you only have yourself to blame
If you continue to live this way Get it together
You want to heal your body
You have to heal your heart
Whatsoever you sow you will reap
Get it together - India Arie
You want to heal your body? you have to heal your heart! Seems simple doesn't it?For me, sometimes I think I have healed certain wounds, of course, not being around much people, it would seem that all is fine and dandy, not opening my heart, how would I know?Relationships are our biggest teachers, especially the intimate ones, it reflects whether or not there are old wounds within that did not heal, those that were sitting dormant. It's like when someone passes and hit a sore and it pops right open, that shit hurts, you scream, you squirm. In life that can mean pushing people away, showing your dark side, disappearing, running, hiding through drugs, sex, shopping, mind numbing activitiesAnd then the illness comes......
You want to heal your body? you have to heal your heart! - SimpleStart with acceptance of what isthen move on to forgiving yourselfthen forgiving othersthe running - it only puts a plaster on the sorePeace

Take What Works and Run With It

We have this obsession in our society with wanting to get it right, to be right, to do it right that the fear of being “wrong” paralyses us Rev Deborah L Johnson
Do you wait until something is perfect before you make a move? And what would you define as perfect? Do you wait and wait and wait and if it is not perfection you postpone it?Why?What causes you to rather not do it than start and learn as you go?
Having standards is a must, mediocrity must never be accepted. There is a difference between having standards and chasing perfection - which to me, is such a lame waste of time! Where is the fun in that?
I make loads of mistakes, I would bet sometimes you see typos on here too! But, I always aim to do my best, my best in the moment and learn as I go. I learnt that by chasing perfection and letting things slide then beating up myself after because I did not follow my heart's desire and on the flip side I cut others slack when they make mistakes. I have also learnt compassion for others in making my own mistakesAnd so the blaming and shaming is taken out of the equation, I focus on the big pictureTo me, there is no wrong, there is what works and what does not work. Take what works and run with it, and what does not work and learn from itPeace

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Think the Biggest Thought

Do not be tempted to think the smallest thought or to lower your expectations so that anything above that will be considered a "win" for you. You will have already lost... Neale Donald Walsh

It takes practice to keep thinking your highest thought, to stop from reacting, especially in relationships, whether it is intimate relationships, friendships, work relationships, which ever one.It takes practice to also remind yourself of your intentions, to keep asking "what is my intention"Over the last week I have been so tested, I had to summon the questions, particularly when I wanted my own way. I wanted to win at all costs. As soon as those feelings came up, I reminded myself that I had to ask, what is my intention and what is the highest thought. I must admit, not all the time it worked, I seem to have started off 2018 with a number of disagreements with friends, and there were times my response was listen - to hell with this! or to pout and act passive aggressive.

We prefer not to feel discomfort, we prefer not to go through the storm and come out on the other side
I, for one, find it extremely uncomfortable but I have been placed in this situation all of 2018 thus far
2018, you got me so far!
And what I have learnt is, once I pass through the discomfort, the knots in my tummy, it gets better, I feel free to express myself more and more knowing that I will be okay and if the other party makes a decision I do not like I may not agre with I will be better able to deal with the circumstance
I will be able to walk away knowing I said what I needed to say
knowing that I did my absolute best
knowing that I chose the highest and biggest thought
knowing that I checked in with my intention
and that my lovies is the best thing you can so, all else is a recipe for disaster

Peace


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Be More

No matter where you're at: lost, found, determined, confused, rocking, searching, chilling, or wandering. No matter what goals you've set for yourself. Even if you have no goals. It doesn't matter, one thing is true: there's a potential not to do more, but to be more . Maxie McCoy
Who you be? 
Rev Deborah L Johnson asks that question often in her sermonsWho you be?Are you being something? Are you being kind?Are you being helpful?Are you being loving?Are you being a jerk?Who you be?Are you being true to you?Are you being authentic?Are you being fake?Who you be?
We have a tendency to do. And yes, there is time for doing. Being comes first, you be, then you doWho you be?Peace
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Do You Think You Are Wealthy?

Most people are kept in a state of fear, jealousy, competition, comparison, complaining, and disillusionment. This leaves you open to be easily manipulated and controlled. You are convinced that you need money in order to have worth. This belief will indeed keep you poor. The wealth that we are speaking about is the wealth that comes from being a sovereign and free spirit and in alignment with the true knowing of who we are. Mayann Hasna
What is your definition of wealthy? My eyes were opened over the past few days spent in Ecuador. The culture of community and sharing really brought me back to thinking what I value. Don't get me wrong, money is important and I love it, it allows me the opportunity to live a life with less stress. I immediately started paying attention to both my conversations and the people around me. What I learned that we stop, we limit, we deny ourselves because "there is no money" or "I'm broke" or 'it's too expensive" or " only people with money do those things", I can go onWhat I paid attention to is how the abscence of money did not deter the community for doing their thing, they have a belief that money is part of the puzzle and although it may not be visible yet, it will come once there is a start on the project.Such a telling reminder for meStartThe Universe is abundantA way will be made out of no wayThere is usually no requirement to start big, we can start small and grow along the wayWords have power- eliminate"I'm broke""I cannot afford it" "I have no money" "If I get any money I will...."Rephrase these terms, it empowers you to moveGive it a go and let me know how it works outIn the meantime, know that the Universe is abundant and words have powerPeace

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New Dawn. New Day

Even my wanderings were perfectly designed to teach me the falsity of the illusions I was following. What I thought were detours away from You were really lessons bringing me closer to home, and I am grateful for them all ACIM


 Happy New Year to all of you my lovies! Thank you for joining me on all of my journeys during the last year, I do hope that it brought you something, anything, that made you ponder, laugh, feel, grow, love! I certainly enjoyed sharing the lessons with you as I strongly believe what we teach what we require to learn!
As I leave Ecuador, I am grateful for the opportunity to see a different way of life, as well as, learn more about myself in the process. I love to learn and the way I kow that I ahve learnt is to demonstrate in my life. I welcome all the events that pass my way, the one's I label good and the one's I label not so good!
So here's to more exciting and fun lessons in 2018 I pray for you all that you pray for yourself.I thank youI love youPeace
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