Colleen Brown's Blog, page 252

my hands have beenthrough more than your mind, and if youlook...

my hands have been
through more than 
your mind, and if you
look at my palms
close enough, you can
see worn out creases
from reaching out
to people who never 
can admit to needing
a helping hand.

Typewriter series: #31

Typewriter series: #31

If I am not waking up to you,I don’t want to wake up at all.

If I am not
waking up to you,
I don’t want
to wake up at all.

"In the morning, I try my hardestto go throughout the daynot having to face myself.So when I go..."

“

In the morning, I try my hardest

to go throughout the day

not having to face myself.

So when I go into the bathroom

to put myself together

before I have to go to work,

I try my hardest

not to look into the mirror.

Afraid of facing myself

in a light that never could

flatter any of my scars.

When I brush my teeth,

I look into the sink,

and I watch the drain

washing down all of my confidence.

I spit, turn off the water,

and without seeing my reflection,

I turn off the lights

that has made me feel safe

living underneath the starless sky.

I will tell myself that today

I will be able to face myself

in the mirror, and even if

I don’t like what I see,

I will accept who I am,

and I will live through the day

thinking of ways to improve my image.

But it always ends up the same;

turning off the bathroom lights

before I can look into my eyes,

and tell myself that it will be different,

that sooner or later,

I will be able to explore my own skin

while being bathed

in the harsh florescent light.

So when I wake up tomorrow,

I will push myself in front of the mirror,

and I will make my eyes

focus on the truth;

the raw exposure of a girl

who’s just trying to work up the courage

to understand and come to terms

with who it is exactly

that she has to face today.

”

- “This is why I am always asking you to turn off the lights," - Colleen Brown

I am not afraid of missing you.I am afraid of loving you,and then losing you,to someone who willbe...

I am not afraid of missing you.
I am afraid of loving you,
and then losing you,
to someone who will
be able to love you
more thoroughly
than me.

You're so intriguing.

You’re so gentle.

And we are both so unreal, at the same time.

Typewriter series: #30

Typewriter series: #30

And I am sorrythat I took your lovefor granted,when all youwere trying to dowas to make me seethat...

And I am sorry
that I took your love
for granted,
when all you
were trying to do
was to make me see
that things could be
better by being
with you.

And when I am alonein my bed at night,I wish that when Iturned to the empty sideyou would suddenlybe...

And when I am alone
in my bed at night,
I wish that when I
turned to the empty side
you would suddenly
be there to fill it.

Typewriter series: #29

Typewriter series: #29