"In the morning, I try my hardestto go throughout the daynot having to face myself.So when I go..."

“

In the morning, I try my hardest

to go throughout the day

not having to face myself.

So when I go into the bathroom

to put myself together

before I have to go to work,

I try my hardest

not to look into the mirror.

Afraid of facing myself

in a light that never could

flatter any of my scars.

When I brush my teeth,

I look into the sink,

and I watch the drain

washing down all of my confidence.

I spit, turn off the water,

and without seeing my reflection,

I turn off the lights

that has made me feel safe

living underneath the starless sky.

I will tell myself that today

I will be able to face myself

in the mirror, and even if

I don’t like what I see,

I will accept who I am,

and I will live through the day

thinking of ways to improve my image.

But it always ends up the same;

turning off the bathroom lights

before I can look into my eyes,

and tell myself that it will be different,

that sooner or later,

I will be able to explore my own skin

while being bathed

in the harsh florescent light.

So when I wake up tomorrow,

I will push myself in front of the mirror,

and I will make my eyes

focus on the truth;

the raw exposure of a girl

who’s just trying to work up the courage

to understand and come to terms

with who it is exactly

that she has to face today.

”

- “This is why I am always asking you to turn off the lights," - Colleen Brown