Colleen Brown's Blog, page 238

Anonymous said: I admire the way you craft your words - the way you wrap them in ribbons and weave...

Anonymous said: I admire the way you craft your words - the way you wrap them in ribbons and weave them in and out. They leave me satisfied, I am full, requiring no explanation; your words define themselves. They are no appetizer. No, they are main courses worthy of a king but in a house of a modest worker.

"My anger is in-control of my mouth. When the heat in my body starts to rise, so does the backlash of..."

“

My anger is in-control of my mouth. When the heat in my body starts to rise, so does the backlash of my words. I don’t mean to be so mad so much. This is something I have to work on, and I wish you would assist me in this process.

I tend to embellish the truth. When you tell me that you love me and I ask you to compare it to something that you feel just the same for, you tell me that it’s impossible, because you’ve never felt this way about anything before. When I tell you that I love you, you ask me to compare it to something that I love just as much, and I tell you that with the love that I have for you, I could travel across the country on foot, without breaking a sweat. You laugh at me, and you tell me that’s impossible. I laugh back and tell you that the only thing that is impossible is trying to get you to believe that my love for you has enough strength to carry the entire weight of the world.

I smoke cigarettes so much that you would think that it was something a doctor prescribed to me. But no doctor did, and this is a small way on how I cope with things. So when I come home at 2 a.m. and my fingers smell as if they made their way across another man’s skin, it’s just the smell of burning desires, and not raw flesh. I light a stick of menthol-flavored tobacco whenever I feel as though you’ve had enough of me. I don’t look at you in your eyes when you are begging me to tell you what it is that you’ve done wrong, and what you could do to make it right. If I look at you in your eyes, you’ll know that I am lying when I tell you that everything is fine. So I stare at my feet, and hope with everything inside of me that you will mistake my melancholy tone for security.

When you leave, I don’t know what to do with myself. For years, I’ve been so used to my body being wrapped around yours, and the only way that I will ever be able to feel safe again is if you stitch your body into mine. But we are too fragile to undergo something so permanent, and as long as you keep coming back home at the end of the day, I think I could be okay with you removing yourself from my grip.

”

- "Things I should have mentioned to you before you said goodbye for good," - Colleen Brown

I stopped hurting myselfwhen you stopped coming around,and I think that I have enoughstrength to...

I stopped hurting myself

when you stopped coming around,

and I think that I have enough

strength to make it through

these trying times; these times

where even the person

with the thickest skin

has made it clear that there

is only so much one heart

can handle. If you wouldn’t

have left, I don’t think I

would have ever been able to

keep going. Your absence

allowed my presence

to keep lingering on.

They try to tell youwho you are by placingwords inside of youthat have been soakedin false...

They try to tell you

who you are by placing

words inside of you

that have been soaked

in false accusations

and mislead thoughts.

Be careful when it comes

to making mistakes,

because those will be

the actions that they

will hold you against.

No amount of apologizes,

or nights that are full

of trying to take it back

can bring you to the light.

Because once you put

yourself in darkness,

even for a small moment,

you will forever

be consumed by it.

Mostly in their

unforgiving eyes.

everything is sleepy tonight

everything is sleepy tonight

all i want to do is kiss you in my bed while we are bathing in warm lighting, and listening to a bon...

all i want to do is kiss you in my bed while we are bathing in warm lighting, and listening to a bon iver record. i want to tell you how much i love you, because i love you a lot, and i want you to find a home on the inside of my arms.

Well, goodnight my lovely, sweet peaches. If you have a chance, wish this beautiful woman a happy...

Well, goodnight my lovely, sweet peaches. If you have a chance, wish this beautiful woman a happy birthday. She is a reason that my voice is as strong as it is, and without her, I would have never been able to feel warmth in my heart.

textures from my day today

textures from my day today

I don’t believe in much,but I believe in us,and I think that is enoughto make this last.

I don’t believe in much,
but I believe in us,
and I think that is enough
to make this last.

Our historyis one storythat I can neverseem to open upand try to make senseof where it all startedto...

Our history
is one story
that I can never
seem to open up
and try to make sense
of where it all started
to go wrong.