Colleen Brown's Blog, page 197
March 31, 2014
I tell you that I’m getting better.
I clean out my drawers,
open the windows, and fix
myself up as...
I tell you that I’m getting better.
I clean out my drawers,
open the windows, and fix
myself up as if I am going out
in 15 minutes. You believe it.
You see me doing the things
that I never did when I was
swallowed whole by darkness.
You think that I’ve escaped.
You think that that I’ve gotten
better because my skin
no longer aches, no longer
is red and swollen, and looks
like I’ve been through war.
You think that I’ve gotten
better because my eyes
no longer look like an evicted
home. You think that I am
getting better, but really
I am becoming more empty
then I was before you started
noticing my unstoppable collapse.
mostlyfiction:
New playlist -
Swallow the light
Tenuousness, Andrew Bird
Human, Daughter
Time to...
New playlist -
Tenuousness, Andrew Bird
Human, Daughter
Time to Say Goodbye (Con te Partiro), Vampire Weekend
Never Seen Such Good Things, Devendra Banhart
Laughing With A Mouth Of Blood, St. Vincent
Runaway Houses City Clouds, Tame Impala
Mean Streets, Tennis
Góðan Daginn, Sigur Rós
Pale Blue, Memoryhouse
I Follow Rivers, Lykke Li
I’ve been having dreams
about you lately. They always
end with our bodies pressed
together, and with...
I’ve been having dreams
about you lately. They always
end with our bodies pressed
together, and with my hands
searching for a place
inside of you that I can
call home. But before I can
find safety, I wake up
to the empty side of my bed
that you used to fill.
When my mother asks me
if I am depressed, points out
that I have been sleeping
a lot more than usual,
I tell her no. And I tell myself
that if this is the only way
that I will ever be able
to be with you again, I will
spend the rest of my life
with my eyes shut,
and my mind filling the void
of a hopeless reality.
"I don’t care about how many people you wanted before me. I just care that you love me now, and..."
- Small conversations, #19
I want you to
remember me.
But not in the way
that you last saw me.
With my temper high,
and with...
I want you to
remember me.
But not in the way
that you last saw me.
With my temper high,
and with my words
being released only for
the attack. I want you
to remember me
in the way that I
remember you.
With your hopes
focused on love,
and your hands
searching for a feeling
that could only
lead you to
overwhelming happiness.
I miss you the most
on days like today.
When the sun
is at its highest,
and when my love
is on...
I miss you the most
on days like today.
When the sun
is at its highest,
and when my love
is on fire
with the thought
of you someday
returning.
What do you write for?
For myself. For anyone who is struggling. For the sake of my sanity. To show her that I still love her. To show him that I am better without him. To get some sleep. To get some clarity. To forget. To forgive. To remember, forever. To show myself that time really does heal. To believe that there is safety within words. For anyone who wants to move on. For anyone who wants something more. To go back and reflect. But mostly, to show myself that there is still love. Even if at some point, it felt like that feeling never existed.
March 30, 2014
is it bad that i miss my sadness? i miss how i could control myself from snacking and also i can feel it. i feel like i fake my emotions too much that i believe its real
It’s not sad, but it’s also not good. But I honestly understand how you feel. I used to feel that way. But love, you do have self-control. You just have to learn how to control yourself when happiness is inside of you. Don’t let the sadness swallow you. Don’t let it make you think that you are better with it on your back. That’s what it wants. Don’t feed it. Please. You are much too good, too beautiful for that. Just let the happiness and the warmth get a feel for you for a little while. Give it a chance. It will surprise you.
i'd kiss you. from your lips to your neck to your collar bones and all over your beautiful body, like you were made of more than just stardust, but of the stuff that my deepest dreams and desires are made of
Oh my. My knees just became weak from this sensual and seductive message. Yes to this. To all of it. I will bring you home donuts and whatever else your heart desires.
kiss you or fuck you
Oh my gosh. It went from beautiful to brutal!
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