Colleen Brown's Blog, page 174

For the longest time I’ve been going over in my head on whatI did to you that was bad enoughto...

For the longest time I’ve been
going over in my head on what
I did to you that was bad enough
to make you stay away for good.
But every time I go back 
to all of the memories of when 
you and I were together, I cannot
find anything that I may have said,
or any action that I have performed
that could have been the reason
to make you leave without warning.
And no matter how long I revise
our time together for, I end up with
nothing to prove that your
disappearance was necessary.
So I guess with this useless
information, I should just take it in
and use it as the goodbye
that you never had the decency
to give to me yourself.

I mistook your lovefor selfishness, and for meto say that you nevermeant everything that yousaid,...

I mistook your love
for selfishness, and for me
to say that you never
meant everything that you
said, was just as bad
as you ever giving out
hopeless promises to me.

I’ve met someone newand I don’t think that they willever be able to hold my heartin the...

I’ve met someone new
and I don’t think that they will
ever be able to hold my heart
in the way that you were able to
carry it. I can see it in their 
eyes, the constant struggle
of knowing that they will never
compare to what came before
their affections. And I have
no one to blame but myself.
Because even after all of
the neglect, and the worthless
distance that you pushed
between us, I will somehow
always love you. Even if I’m
not supposed to.

And I’m tired of waitingon you to come to realizethat you made a mistakewhen you decided...

And I’m tired of waiting
on you to come to realize
that you made a mistake
when you decided to
leave me behind with
all of the memories 
of us when we were
in love and invincable
because they were
too heavy for you
to carry back home
all on your own.

One day, when we’ve moved onfrom all of these memories of whenwe tried to get back at each...

One day, when we’ve moved on
from all of these memories of when
we tried to get back at each other
by getting ourselves tangled up
inside of someone who never cared
to know what it was that we needed,
we will be together again. We will be
together and we will never need to
remember everything that drove us
apart in the first place. So when you
finally come around to forgiving me
for what I once had to forgive you for,
I will be here. And I will be waiting
for everything that we once said
would come true in good time.

"When I looked at herfor the first time I couldsee my future on her skin,and suddenly all of..."

“

When I looked at her

for the first time I could

see my future on her skin,

and suddenly all of my

mistakes from before

disintegrated.

When I touched her

for the first time I could

see everything that I once

wanted to come true making

its way to the surface, and it all

suddenly became a reality.

When I kissed her

for the first time I could

see everything that I once

was so afraid of disappear

within her lips, and suddenly

I was no longer terrified.

”

- "A first time for everything," - Colleen Brown

If you’re looking foranother way to holdonto hope, just takeahold of me, becauseI promise...

If you’re looking for

another way to hold

onto hope, just take

ahold of me, because

I promise that even

when everything

around you is no

longer in your favor,

I will always be there

to remind you that

there is still some

good in this game

that we call love.

And before she knows ityou’ll be out of her doorand into my arms. So whenyou are finally out...

And before she knows it
you’ll be out of her door
and into my arms. So when
you are finally out of her life,
feel free to make a home
on the inside of my heart.
At least when you are
inside of my vessel that is
made up of compassion
and concentration, it will
never fail to admire you
in the way that hers
never could.

when we didn’t feel so small

when we didn’t feel so small

I just wanted you to knowthat no matter what you do,who you end up with, or whereit is that...

I just wanted you to know
that no matter what you do,
who you end up with, or where
it is that you’re meant to be,
I will always be with you.

I live inside of your bones,
inside of the lining of your
mind, and most importantly,
I will always remain
on the inside of your heart.

And no amount of toxic words
that you push my way
will ever be able to get me
out of you. I will forever be
a permeant part of who you are.