Colleen Brown's Blog, page 169
May 28, 2014
I want you so muchthat everyone that camebefore you were onlya way of wasting momentsand learning...
I want you so much
that everyone that came
before you were only
a way of wasting moments
and learning that love
would be worth it
once you finally found
the one who can
stop time.
When her memory entered my mindall of the progress that I madewithout her here with mewas pushed...
When her memory entered my mind
all of the progress that I made
without her here with me
was pushed back to step one.
And before her haunting silhouette
stepped forward into my thoughts,
I was certain that I knew how to heal
without her provoking presence
lingering within the confides of my brain.
May 27, 2014
i wish i was being touched and kissed by soft hands and soft lips
i wish i was being touched and kissed by soft hands and soft lips
flowers won’t stop coming out of my pen
flowers won’t stop coming out of my pen
I am inside the house,inside of the room that wecame to realize that lovedoes not suddenly...
I am inside the house,
inside of the room that we
came to realize that love
does not suddenly become
easy just because the miles
are not wedged between
our bodies anymore.
I am inside of the room
where you looked at me
with hope, but touched me
like I was a decaying promise.
I am inside of this room
and there is nothing
that I would rather do
than to scrub the memories
of when we both came
to realize that this was not
as easy as we hoped
and thought it would be.
And when I needed youyou were nowhere to befound, and I shouldn’t havebeen surprised of...
And when I needed you
you were nowhere to be
found, and I shouldn’t have
been surprised of your
disappearance just when
things were finally starting
to fall into place.
"When my brother said that he
was tired of hearing about feminism,
I told him that I was tired
of..."
was tired of hearing about feminism,
I told him that I was tired
of hearing about women dying
in the middle of the street
because they had the strength
to say no to what they knew
they did not long for. He tells me
that maybe if they were not
outside on that day, walking down
the road in that moment, maybe
none of that would have happened.
So I tell him that when
I go to run errands on a Sunday,
to get milk and sugar for our coffee
and some man who is fed up
with hearing the word “no”,
touches my skin and says to me that he
just wants a chance, did I deserve
to be pushed down, to be beaten,
to be told that I am the reason
that there is so much evil in the world,
just because I wouldn’t give him
a moment to change my mind?
My brother looks at me
with sympathy in his eyes,
and I can see the understanding
forming beneath his mouth
when he says to me
that he never thought about it
in that way, and that he
never understood before now
why so many women are so afraid
of walking down the road
in the reveling sunlight.
So I tell him that he didn’t
have to think at all, but to
remember the next time he is
walking near a woman that he
desires that if she wants to
look the other way, don’t keep
moving yourself into her
sight, but to let her look at
the sky with the feeling
of deserved safety.”
- "I’m tired too," - Colleen Brown
Letters I never sent to you, but should have.
Letters I never sent to you, but should have.
your posts make me feel so much better. recently, the girl i love very much left me. our story is too complicated for words but basically, we've been together for 3 years and a couple of days ago: she asked me to prom, dumped me the next day, and later on
You are not stupid, because I and I think everyone else would be sad. But if you want to get hurt again, you can take her back. It seems to me like you’ve given her a lot of chances, and if she doesn’t want to take advantage of that, or just appreciate you for you and your love, why would you want her to be inside of your heart or surrounded by you? Don’t you think that you deserve someone who actually will fight for you / fight with you? Someone who doesn’t question everything and drag you along so they aren’t the only ones in pain? But summing it up, you’re not stupid. Not even a little bit.
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