Bart King's Blog, page 40

*NOTHING* is better than learning that a reader enjoyed one of my books!

THANK YOU, ROSALIA!!

I guess I have to deactivate my Twitter account now...

My hands are for one thing only: playing sax pic.twitter.com/ncuJJUBBAg— Kenny G (@kennyg) November 26, 2016

Because THIS is the ultimate tweet!

R U READY FOR THE WEEKEND?????

[image error] I didn't think so.

Yiddish is the language for me!

Provenance unknown.

What I'm grateful for this Thanksgiving

Today, I’m thankful for professional journalists. I’m thankful for the New York Times . I’m thankful for fact-checkers and scientists. They’re going to be more important than ever for the next four years.
I’m also grateful to my parents, who subscribed to two daily newspapers when I was a kid. I ended up doing a “compare-and-contrast” on news coverage almost unthinkingly. ("Ooh, this comic page reflects the editorial board's values!"

NEWSFLASH: I am really bad at making conversation

Anyone who works with the public develops the ability of making lightweight conversation. My skills in this regard were called upon at last weekend’s Wild Arts festival.
A woman stopped by my table and chuckled over the Mischief book. Intuition told me she was a teacher, so I asked if that was the case.
“How did you know?” she replied. “I’m a counselor.”
“Oh, I’m pretty immature, so I can spot these things. Are you a school counselor?”
“Yes! Sort of.”
“What grade or age kids do you work with?”
“Teenagers who are 18 or 19.”
“Oh, young adults! I can only imagine the kinds of problems mature people like that might have.”
“I’m a drug and alcohol counselor.”
“Ah.” Pause. We avoid eye contact. “Now I can imagine it.”
Mercifully, she left shortly afterwards. But please don’t worry, it wasn’t awkward at all.

(EDITORIAL CORRECTION: It was hideously awkward.)

Just an FYI—I love my new cheesy lifestyle

Tweet mania!

MILITARY TOUR:

"And over here is a division composed entirely of grandmothers. It's called—"

"Please, don't say it!"

"The Granny Unit."— Bart King (@BartKing) November 22, 2016

Well, as long as it isn't dangerous . . . pic.twitter.com/agvSLAbpY4— Bart King (@BartKing) November 22, 2016

"Those who believe in telekinetics, raise my hand."

—Kurt Vonnegut— Bart King (@BartKing) November 22, 2016

This guy's a pretty lousy Johnny Depp impersonator. pic.twitter.com/3afFJfYdYU— Bart King (@BartKing) November 21, 2016

A double negative is a definite no-no.— Bart King (@BartKing) November 20, 2016

"No, me Tarzan. YOU matter."

--Tarzan pic.twitter.com/oNXxCyVfov— Bart King (@BartKing) November 21, 2016

"I have whales inside of me!"

—The little girl across the street explaining that she's Welsh.— Bart King (@BartKing) November 20, 2016

L.L. Bean-bag. pic.twitter.com/eoHcdnztvS— Bart King (@BartKing) November 20, 2016

I like to set a good example as a lifelong learner by taking adult education classes.

—What I'm thinking as I get ready for Traffic School.— Bart King (@BartKing) November 16, 2016

I refuse to tweet about geology because it's beneath me.— Bart King (@BartKing) November 10, 2016

Hey, I wonder if I'll get a free coffee if I wear this around today? pic.twitter.com/g4DWFMRfIW— Bart King (@BartKing) November 6, 2016

Fun with signs!

Happy Friday!