Bart King's Blog, page 39

Pun Day!

"So you're saying my salivary glands are over-producing?" I gushed.Naming a restaurant "Shenanigans" doesn't send a very reassuring message about food quality.
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Doctor: Your days are numbered.
OCD patient: Cool!
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I can't find a trustworthy illustrator for my new book—they're all way too sketchy.
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At the Pigment Factory:
"Did you throw away the old indigo?"
"Yes. The dye has been cast."
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When I open my food cart, it'll be called Haute Dogs—and the buns will be strictly upper crust.
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"So this app connects you instantly with an actress who can play your grandmother for social events."
"What’s it called?"
"InstaGram."
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You never know what's going on inside someone else . . . with the exception of the time you spend in utero.
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TEACHER: Kids, we're going to break down their classroom door then DESTROY that homeroom!
FIRST GRADER: "But isn't that class warfare?"
  

These guys are freaking me out.

That's helpful. I'll set aside some time.

If I had a band, I'd name it Pug 360.

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So what're YOU doing today? Huh? Huh?

Ancient history is amazing!

I am EXACTLY this good at doing skateboard tricks!

High five!

Hummingbirds look weird when they finally slow down.

Be careful what you ask for.

After all, the Oldham Council members never guessed they'd get a suggestion that was so brilliant, it would change their lives forever!

Librarians at Concordia University (Edmonton) like to reflect on things.

Via.