Roxy Mews's Blog, page 8

Miracle Morning...This Time For Real

If you've been with me on this blog for a while, or if you're a friend of mine, you've probably had me attempt to drag you into the "Miracle Morning" whether you wanted to or not.

I don't remember how long ago it was that I first read "The Miracle Morning" by Hal Elrod, but it was a real lightbulb moment for me. I think I originally heard about this book through a Bullet Journal Facebook group. And since I'm a reader anyway, I grabbed it in ebook. I have since devoured any Miracle Morning book that I feel might pertain to me. Obviously, as I restart my Miracle Morning journey for the new year, I'm using "The Miracle Morning for Writers" as my final S in my S.A.V.E.R.S. 

If you've never read any of the miracle morning books, I highly recommend starting with the original, because the author, Hal Elrod's, story is one that will make you realize your obstacles aren't so bad. He has a serious rock bottom tale, times two, and I found his story inspirational to read.

Of course, while I was writing this I discovered that I'd missed a new MM book and used an Audible credit to get on that shit immediately after I finish this blog.

It's the second day of 2019 and it's the second day I've completed my "Miracle Morning" or "S.A.V.E.R.S.". My goal is to complete a MM every morning this year. And it doesn't have to take as long as I make it, so some days I guarantee there will be an abbreviated version taking place. But it will take place.

If you've never read this series of books or heard of the technique before, it centers around doing "S.A.V.E.R.S." every morning to work on self-development. 

What are the SAVERS and how do I do them each morning? Well, good thing you asked, because that's what this blog is about!

SAVERS stands for Silence, Affirmations, Visualization, Exercise, Reading, and Scribing (writing of some sort). The books go into detail about all the different ways you can accomplish these every morning, but according to Hal Elrod, he cherry-picked tasks successful people did every morning, and decided to do all of them.

My MM will develop and change over the course of this year, I have no doubt, and as my schedule and my family's schedules change, the time I do all of this will alter as well. But for right now, I'm doing these in order.

S(ilence) = I'm taking the time to meditate for this step. Right after I wake up and brush my teeth, wash my face, and start a pot of coffee, I drink a glass of water and head downstairs to cozy in for my ten minute meditation. For the first three weeks of this year, I'm using Audible's 21 Days of Meditation. If you're an audible member, it's free to download. 

I've dabbled in meditation for the better part of 2 years now, and I've found that 10-15 minutes is the minimum I need to get the settled buzz meditation gives me. I can get there some days in 5 minutes, but I have to be in the right headspace to do it.

A(ffirmations) = I have a notebook with about ten affirmations that I repeat for at least five minutes. I have space to add more, but really I only write down the ones that speak to me. Some I've written myself, and some I've pulled from the books I've read. I keep the notebook on a small shelf and pull it out every morning after I've grabbed a cup of coffee and headed into my office space.

V(isualization) = This one is something I'm still working on. Visualization is difficult for me, because I have trouble deciding on exactly what I want to do in a day. I have a big family. There's always a wrench thrown into my day, and mapping out exactly what I'm doing is just a guaranteed fail for me.

What I've spent my time doing for this portion lately is visualizing myself at the keyboard. Thinking through what's on my calendar for the day, and what order I'm going to check off those tasks in. I imagine what needs to be done to get each task accomplished and then I visualize each item going smoothly.  From the Miracle Morning for Writers we're told to "Visualize actions, not results." To Do's don't magically jump off our list, we have to work on them. So that's what I try to picture happening.

E(xercise) = Even when I did a version of the Miracle Morning prior to this year, I didn't incorporate exercise. Or if I did, it would be for a day or two and then I'd say, "Fuck it", and sip my coffee while working through the rest instead. I am overweight, out of shape, and perimenopausal which adds a whole other wrench into things. So what I'm doing right now is walking up and down the stairs in my house. Yesterday, I did two minutes. Today, I did two and a half. Tomorrow, it will be three. I'm working my way up to five minutes. And for all of you skinny folks or healthy folks who might scoff at that, try hauling a couple hundred pounds around and tell me it's easy then. I'm going with the idea that doing something is infinitely better than doing nothing. I'm playing an audiobook or podcast for a couple minutes while I get my blood pumping. And then I refill both my water and coffee and head back to my office to finish up.

R(eading) = My goal for reading is ten minutes or one chapter of whatever self-help or craft book is up next in my que. I would ideally read more than this, but when my brain is in the mood to check off the items on a list quick, accomplishing even ten minutes is a task. So I wanted to make it doable on an ongoing basis. I'm trying to get back into paper books after reading so much on my kindle and audible, so that's what I plan to use my Miracle Morning time doing. Paper only. Because the other formats I easily squeeze into the rest of my day.

S(cribing/writing) = While many people would say my blog time would more than count for this portion, I'm not going to use it. I'm picking my journal back up again. You'll see a few posts ago that I was singing the praises of making time for journaling every day. And it was true. I felt amazing when I took time every morning to write in a book with a pen and see where my head was at. I even completed a journal, cover to cover, for the first time ever in my life. I gave myself a three page/day goal, but the lines in that book were big, and it took no time at all to fill. I kept the same three page goal when I moved to a larger notebook, and I think that's where I set myself up to fail. It's why I ultimately got frustrated and quit.

So this round, I'm doing two pages per day, and allowing myself the freedom to switch to one if my morning is hectic. Writing in my journal everyday is the goal. I'm not going to stress about page count. It's also the last item on my list. Moving this back until all the creatures are fed and happy is easy.

That's it. That's what I'm going to do every day this year. I'm hoping to up the exercise as I get my body moving more, and I'm excited to gain more skill at my visualization and mediation practices. But mostly, I'm excited to see how this impacts me after my SAVERS are complete.

Stay tuned for another #Roxys7DayChallenge. I'm planning on redoing this to refresh my schedule this month as I get my feet back under me and my SAVERS timed out.

Do you do a Miracle Morning? Or are there any practices you want to incorporate every day this year? I'd love to hear about what your resolutions are. Let's kick ass together in 2019.

~Roxy

Yeah...I took a break.

I know I went from daily posting to ghosting my social media channels. Nothing catastrophic happened to me. I'm not ill, or at least not any more so than I was when I was writing daily.

Something clicked in me, and even the basic daily tasks felt like mountains I had to climb every day. Add in the stress of the holidays, and the stress of both hubby and I working retail during the holidays, and my mind just started shutting down.

I had to make a decision.

I love talking on this blog and chatting on my social media outlets, but what I did know was that if I went online with the mental state I was in, I would be a huge bummer.

I guess I could have lied and posted a front of happiness, but at the heart of it, I hate being dishonest. And where I was at last month, being cheery and motivating...that would have been dishonest.

The holidays hit me hard every damn year. And I think instead of forcing myself to "get in the spirit" for 2019, I'm going to plan on taking time off. So, no matter how well I maintain a blog through the year, don't plan to see me much in November and December.

What brought me back to my blog today? What had me up and awake at 6:30am on New Years Day?

A fresh start.

I've always felt there was something incredibly beautiful about changing over the calendar and starting fresh. There is a beauty to wiping the slate clean and making a resolution or two. I'll have a few posts this week about some of my New Year traditions, so stay tuned for those. 

What I wanted to do today, is dip my toes back in the internet waters. I wanted to say I'm sorry for disappearing like I did, and I wanted to let you know that if you get to a point where you need to decide between social media and your sanity, that it's important you pick your sanity. I did, and I can't say I regret it.

​It's important to refill your own well before other people start dipping their buckets down your shaft.

via GIPHY

Okay...so maybe that wasn't the best way to say it, but you get the drift. Give me a week or so, and I promise my metaphor game will improve.

I'm ripping off my band-aid today and getting back online. I hope you'll forgive me for the disappearing act. And I hope you'll come along with me as I wiggle my way back into the digital world again.

If you're dealing with a holiday hangover, (not just the champagne hangover from your NYE toasts),  then come along with me. I'll share what I'm trying, and what works for me as I get back on track.

This morning, I went through my planners. Yes...planners. Meaning multiple. Don't judge me. 

I pulled out all the pages for the last months. I didn't even look at them. I tossed them away and started with a fresh set of monthly pages for January 2019.

I highly recommend doing this if you, like me, suffer from planner guilt. I didn't use my planners much in November and December aside from the very basic family activities and appointments. The empty ugly pages would mock me if I left them there. So I ripped those bad boys out and shoved them in a drawer. (I don't throw them away just in case I want to brave my "To Do" lists at a later date.)

Now I have a whole month filled in with the basics, and a few pre-plan items I want to work on. Like this blog. 

I took a break. But break time is over, and I'm excited to get back to work. Let's do this shit.

​~Roxy

Learning to love being alone

I was an only child, but I never really spent time alone. Sure, I spent time in my room, or played by myself, but there was always an adult nearby. Always someone else in the house. 

When I went away to college, I had a roommate. And when I moved from the dorms, it was to share a space with the man that would eventually be my husband. So while I've always entertained myself, I've never had time or space that I didn't share in one way or another. And it's always amusing to me to me that people think I must have been lonely being an only child.

In reality, I fought for alone time. I would hide at the library, lock my bedroom door, and now as an adult, I cherish those rare moments where my house is empty. But even then, I have a cat and a dog that don't do well unless they are under someone's foot. Namely mine.

The reason I'm telling you this is I am playing taxi driver for a family member today, and I am sitting, writing this in a Starbucks with absolutely nowhere to go, and no one to answer to for seven whole hours. I had made plans to meet with a friend, but they fell through. I'm super bummed about not seeing an awesome chick I really want to connect with more often, but I'm also just a little giddy with the prospect of not even having an animal water bowl to fill for the better part of a day. 

I didn't think about it, but when I sat down, I felt my shoulders release. I could breathe a little easier when I realized I don't have any laundry or dishes to do. It would be a real feat if I could get those chores done while I'm across state lines. The only downside is the persistent Christmas music playing over the speakers. Thank goodness for over the ear headphones.

I've been working through some mental garbage lately, and everyone's emotions crashing against my own has been incredibly draining. Which is exactly why I've started hoarding my alone time. 

I'm planning on doing at least a little of all the things I don't get to do on a daily basis at home. I'm going to read for pleasure. 
I have a date with an old friend. I met Jodi briefly while she was dressed up as a furry animal during a Samhain party at the RT Booklovers Convention. While both the publisher and the convention are closed for business, Jodi is still kicking ass. So I wanted to get reacquainted with her awesome sense of humor. 

My first impression of Jodi was her squeeing over her book cover on a banner at that party years ago. And her joy translates to her books, so I'm ready to giggle inappropriately today.

I'm also going to pick up my neglected journal. I've stopped doing my morning pages and I miss the scratch of the pen on the paper. I'm ready to word vomit with no pressure and add to the release I feel just being on my own without a time crunch.

I'm going to reach out to the people who have agreed to write with me and enjoy the beauty of April Fool's Day. I am incredibly excited about the group we've got coming your way in 2020. That excitement brings me the final thing I get to do today. 
I get to write. I get to put aside the timers and the rush of NaNoWriMo and luxuriate in the words that are trying to bubble to the surface. Who knows, maybe I'll even finish a book today. Maybe I'll start a new one, but the idea of writing and not having a single soul knock on the door or "check on me" is intoxicating. 

Going from always having people around to flourishing during alone time isn't easy. I'm constantly looking over my shoulder, or checking on the people around me. I'm not used to the responsibilities being only for me. I'm not used to pursuing something for the sake of pleasure and allowing another person to take charge, but as I sip the now cooling coffee in my festive holiday cup, I can feel the warmth flood my whole body. 

Getting to be alone is a luxury for me. I plan to do everything but take a nap. Because they might frown on that at a coffee shop.

Do you enjoy spending time alone? What would you do with an entire day to yourself? Give me some ideas, because I just might have to do this again.

​~Roxy

I lost NaNoWriMo after winning five years straight

I am writing this post on November 30th, but sitting at 19k, I realize am not going to hit even the halfway point in NaNoWriMo this year.

It's the first year I've failed as "Roxy" after five straight wins. Even more wins if you count my now dead persona.

It's surreal and hard to swallow. Especially after I started out on November 1st with 5k.

This November kicked my real life ass. Between hubby pulling extra time a state away for his new job, the house needing work, the car needing work, and bills popping up out of nowhere, I struggled. Add in extra hours at my evil day job, and some minor health issues, and my whole month was spent in emergency management.

My morning routine flew out the window. My life revolved around cooking for the family because of no money or time to eat out, and taking vitamin C like there was no ​tomorrow, because there was no option for me to get sick. 

However, this month was not a wash or a fail by any stretch of the imagination. I did a lot of really cool things this month. And I learned a lot! Which is what I want from any NaNoWriMo adventure. 

What did I learn? Here are my Top 5.

1. I found out daily double posts are not realistic. I was able to keep up for a couple weeks, but it wasn't realistic to blog, post, and write on an every day schedule. I've done it in the past, but my home life then was very different than it is now, and I need to rework my expectations. I realized how important my mental health is. And I found that taking the time I needed to not break down, was vital.

2. I learned I really like live-streaming and being on video. I only did one live "write-in" but I enjoyed the hell out of it. I liked talking on camera, and it's something I didn't realize about myself. So I have a new direction to explore.

3. I learned that while I can plot, it's harder for me to adjust on the fly when I have a plot written down. So until I can stick to a plot as written, plotting and fast-drafting together doesn't work well for me. Whether or not this plot style I've tried will net less time in edits still remains to be seen, but I'm going to get some writing done after this post. If I finish a book in two months that requires half the editing of a fast draft written in one...well...hell, it's worth the extra time.

4. I learned how much my hubby pimps my writing when I'm not around. This was one of those weird moments that spurred me to keep working on my manuscript. Hubby's new job takes him on the road a lot and when he's home I try to make it a point to spend some time with him. Which took away from the writing, but my own HEA beats any book ending. He told me about how his work conversation with colleagues turned into him sharing my pen name and some book info. (PS, if you're here because of my hubby, I appreciate it. Hit me up if you want a signed paper copy. I have extras for sale.)

5. I learned that winning or losing NaNoWriMo doesn't define me as a writer. This should have been obvious, but it surprised me that I needed to learn this lesson the most. I am a huge proponent of NaNoWriMo, and I wouldn't change the opportunities and the friends it's afforded me. BUT, I also think it was good for me to not hit my 50k this month. Deadlines are valuable, but it's more important to me now to write a book worth putting up for sale. Could I have written 50k this month? Yes. Would it have been a work I was proud to publish? With the stress and mental fatigue I  was dealing with...not a chance in hell. 


There has been a lot of talk among people (I'm not naming names. No. Not even in DMs) who are profitable in this business. These are people who are using ghostwriters and only working hard on the first 10-20% of their books, because that's all they need to do to sell them. I don't think that could ever be me. And maybe that means I won't get to live off my book sales, but some things are more important than money to me, and integrity is one of those things.

My books might not ever hit a list, but I hope I've made people smile with my stories. I've had authors and editors I respect in this business compliment my voice and story-telling. 

Through my journey so far, I've learned I'm an author. I've been published and reviewed, and no one can take that away from me. Not even a NaNoWriMo loss. 

I'm off to write and take some of what I've learned with me. 

Did you participate in NaNoWriMo? Did you hit your purple bar? What did you learn from this process? I'd love to hear about it.

~Roxy

One day I woke up sad

I'm not sure where it came from. It could be from the changes in my body. (Fucking perimenopause.) It could be the daylight savings time shift. I swear, it's always dark now. Or maybe it's just the fact that my evil day job has been extra evil, and home life has shifted immensely.

Whatever caused it, I've found myself pulling back from everything, and everyone. I stopped calling friends. I stopped going out of the house unless it was absolutely necessary, and even brief interactions felt like they were physically draining to accomplish. 

I started sleeping a lot more. At the worst, I would go to bed at 8:30, wake up at my usual time of 5am, and be back in bed by 10am, sleeping through lunch unless the phone rang with a telemarketer.

I stopped using my planner. Stopped writing in my journal. Stopped reading and writing. I went for four days in the thick of it without changing my clothes. It got bad, guys. I don't think I cried though. Because when I come up against strong emotions, I shut it all down. And frankly, my emotion factory had turned off completely.

You might be saying to yourself, it's time to go to a doctor. Welp...when your bank account is stretched super thin, that's not an option. At least not in my area of the midwest. Any visit to the doctor, even with employer-based insurance is going to run me at least a couple hundred dollars, and that's money I don't have. And mental health services aren't covered under the same umbrella as physical health in my plan. So it would probably cost more. I'm not in a crisis mode. I'm not in danger of doing anything drastic. I'm just very melancholy. 

Digging myself out of this hole is taking longer than I thought it would, and I wanted to share in this space that I'm struggling. I think I put a lot of pressure on myself to put out a happy product, but I don't want to disillusion anyone into thinking I'm never sad. It's important to understand how an online presence works, and that what you see on the surface doesn't always show reality.

Is everything I put out before this post honest? Absolutely. I wasn't faking the joy I find in the writing world. I work hard to have fun and enjoy my online spaces, because reality can be a bitch. So when I was writing about things I enjoyed, I hope that passion made its way from my fingers to your interpretation of my words. I know, on the logical side of my brain, that I have a lot to be grateful for. But sometimes my perspective gets skewed and I'm not alone in that struggle to understand reality. 

In my current reality our only family vehicle started smoking a few days ago. I'm not talking about a little steam. I'm talking, we would drive down the street and a damn near white out cloud would erupt from the engine and the tailpipe. When the engine started overheating along with it, despite having filled up the coolant, I was utterly convinced we'd blown a head gasket. But...this was our only vehicle, and we were still in the hole for $7,000 on the loan for it. So scrapping it while continuing to pay off the loan wasn't an option.

Blown head gasket on a V6 engine...holy hell. I was wondering how many organs I'd need to sell to get that taken care of. And in my state of mind, I started to lose it. Thankfully my hubby was able to adjust his work schedule, and we limped the vehicle to a rental place to pick up a car that didn't need a half hour break every three miles. He took it to the repair shop, and we waited.

When it came back that only some hoses needed replaced and flushed, and there was no sign of coolant in our oil, I damn near fell to the ground in relief. What would have resulted in my not being able to pay our mortgage, turned into a $650 dollar repair, and I was weak with relief. 

This moment was when I felt perspective kick in. Had you told me first, that our vehicle needed $650 repairs, I would have had the same reaction as I did to the $2k plus option. But because I had been freaking out over the head gasket, the new bill seemed like an utter relief.

I couldn't get over how funny my brain was, and how all of the things I was worried about could be so much worse. I got a shower that day. I got laundry and dishes done. I started climbing out. 

I'm still working on getting back to the me I'm happy with, but I can see the sun again. (Figuratively. It's still dark and cloudy all the damn time here.)

A few days ago, I posted on Instagram my minimum steps for survival. And when I find myself feeling really down, that's exactly what I need to focus on.

So if you find yourself struggling, please know you aren't alone. Lots of us go through tough mental health days, and we're all working through some shit. If you need something to focus on, try to take some of my steps forward. It can't hurt.

View this post on Instagram

Some days are harder than others on the head and the heart. Here's a reminder if you're struggling. 1. Get a shower 2. Drink some water 3. Eat a meal with fruits and veggies 4. Meditate if you can. I'm heading towards step 3. Hugs for anyone on my timeline who needs it.

A post shared by Roxy Mews (@roxymews) on Nov 14, 2018 at 1:22pm PST

1. Get a shower.
2. Drink some water.
3. Eat a meal with fruits and veggies.
4. Meditate if you can.

​This is where I start when I need to climb out of a funk. Your steps might be different. But I keep this basic list in mind and work my way forward. The drinking water thing surprised me with how important it is. Dehydration drags you down, and if you're pushing water, your body will make you get up and move.

I also still love my timer. I can convince myself to be productive for five and ten minutes a lot easier than I can convince myself to tackle a big task. 

Negotiate with your brain and move forward. 

If you're struggling too, and have any tips on how you pull out, post them below. I'd love to add them to my arsenal.

And please remember, it's okay to pull back and take care of you. You can't pour from an empty cup, so make sure you fill up when you need to. Hugs to anyone struggling. We'll get through this. 

~Roxy

I did a live video yesterday, and I liked it!

If you haven't noticed by my lack of blogging lately, I have been hiding out from the interwebs. Life threw me for a real loop and I'm working hard to get my feet back under me. But I am surrounded by a fantastic group of authors and friends, and because we all know by now, (I've said it enough this month, I know. I'll shut up soon.), NaNoWriMo is a time to try new things.

I had a small tripod and a mediocre cell phone, so I tried hosting an online write in, in my NaNoWriMo writers group.

Why not publicly, you ask? Um...it was a stay at home day, and I didn't want to put on makeup. The only reason you get the re-creation pic below is because of photo editing. My eye bags and lack of makeup need help this early in the morning. And frankly, I'm not putting on makeup to take one pic for this blog. I love, y'all. But not enough to attempt eyeliner before a full cup of coffee.


What did I learn from my first live video? Well...let me break it down.

1. FB live video has a delay. I loaded up the FB page to see if my video was actually showing up, and there was a good 10-15 second delay between what I was saying and what was showing up.

2. Avoid front-facing cameras if you need to show anything with words on it. So if you are going to be showing off a book or cute items with quotes, use your rear-facing camera. The FB live feed allows you to line everything up before you start broadcasting, so you have time to line up your shot. 

3. Selfie rules apply. Any selfie addict knows, you need to find your angle. Don't set up a camera below your line of sight. If you're using your laptop, prop that bitch up. The higher the camera, the fewer chins you have. #protip I might not be the most professional videographer, but I know that if you want that good look, setting your video up just off to the side to allow for 3/4 profile, and slightly above my line of sight, works well for me.
​4. You viewing yourself counts as a "watch". I legit thought there was someone in my group watching me for a good 5 minutes before I realized, the viewer was my own FB feed on there. Yep. Felt real dumb.

5. You have the option to post your video after streaming or delete it. After you end your broadcast, you can either post the video to view later or wipe that bitch away. Obviously, how the stream went would determine if you post or don't. I shared mine, mainly because no one else in my group was around, and me yammering and writing for an hour wouldn't be worthwhile if I didn't post it. But if shit goes wrong...no one but those watching live have to know.

6. Turn off notifications! I didn't think about how loud notifications would be. And my phone got a couple of them during the feed which resulted in an epicly loud ding during the video. So another #protip, turn off all notifications and the ability to receive calls before you start broadcasting if using your phone. I'll definitely do so next time. 


Yes, I did go back and watch my own video. And I don't think it was half bad. I thought I'd be awkward and stumbling, but I found the whole experience relaxing. It was like talking to friends. I did occasionally glance at the camera during my writing sprint time and smirk. And there was a bit of a "this is odd" feeling during the writing sprint times, because I felt like I should be talking. Which is also why my writing sprint end count was lower than it usually was. But in about an hour, I chatted, wrote 1400ish words, and tried something new. 

I think I'm going to do more live videos, simply because I enjoyed sitting down and chatting with a cup of coffee in hand. Before I do anything outside of closed groups, though, I'm going to set up my shot better, sit in a room that isn't lit from above, and put on some damn makeup. 

Have you watched a live video stream before? If so, what is your preferred space to watch? FB? IG? Or have you done your own livestreams or write-ins before? If so, share some tips with me. I'd love to hear them.

​~Roxy

Escaping With NaNoWriMo

I have come to understand the beauty of excuses to get out of certain obligations. 

And one of my favorite things about NaNoWriMo is the fact that I can use it as an excuse. When you're a writer, no one really believes you work. While it's true there are times when our "writing" consists of falling down a YouTube rabbit hole of research, we still need that "butt in chair" time.

November has been touted as one of the worst times of the year to try a writing challenge. If my research holds true, it's the very reason the originators chose it. If you can write a book in November, when all the holiday prep and family obligations are demanding your time, then writing during the rest of the year is a cake walk. Hence the reason this is a challenge.

What I think everyone is missing, is the possibilities this task holds. Because most people don't get how much work goes into a novel, NaNoWriMo puts a quantifiable task at the forefront that's easier for the general public to understand. 

What I'm saying is, when you tell your family, "I need to finish my book", they don't understand what that means. But when you tell that same group, "I need to write 50,000 words in only 30 days" they take it more seriously. And if you have daily goals to tout they tend to leave you alone.

Do you get what I'm putting out there? Do you see where I'm going with this?

The holidays are stressful. If you have a large family, or big group of friends, or even an evil day job that puts you in forced socialization situations, you have a lot of events coming up this month. NaNoWriMo is the perfect excuse to cut out early, or not attend at all.

If you're in the United States, the past few years in politics have been especially divisive. And many families who silently disagreed with each other, are now openly arguing. Are you stuck going to such a function? TAKE YOUR LAPTOP. Claim you're behind in NaNoWriMo and put yourself in a spare room with a big glass of wine and make your word count work to your advantage. I'm telling you, there is no one who will keep track of exactly how much you write. So if you need to stay in a locked room for two hours because your Uncle is ranting about something he "knows" because he saw it on Facebook...take the leave and work on your beautiful stats page.

If anyone has peeked at mine lately, you'll know that I've fallen off the wagon. Along with this blog. I don't have any excuses. I had to make a choice to either push my already stretched nerves, or work on the basics. I'm talking I had to get down to basic self-care of showering and eating.

Life gets away from us, and we have to make the best choice for who we are that very day. Today, I did some much needed housework and worked on a WIP despite not knowing if I'm going to keep it. I let myself write, because even if I fail, I'll be failing forward and getting some excellent writing practice in.

Am I going to take my laptop to my in-laws' turkey day battleground? You bet your sweet butterballed ass, I am. Needing a break doesn't always get you out of obligations. But keep NaNoWriMo in your back pocket, like I do. You might find a way to add to your word-count while avoiding an awkward conversation or libation-fueled fight.

What about you? Do you have something you want to hide out from this November? Ever thought of using your word count as an excuse? Are you going to try it now? I'd love to hear about it.

~Roxy

Sometimes we need the reminder

This video popped up in my recommendeds today on YouTube. I had a body-abusing day at work yesterday, and I'm battling myself to get even the basics done around the house. 

I'm pretty proud I got out of my slippers and put on real shoes before going out in public, honestly.

So here's the quick kick in the pants (especially with NaNoWriMo in full swing) that some of us, like me, need. Your schedule isn't set in stone. If it were, we'd all be much more productive. But if you're like me, and doing some emergency car shopping while suffering from crap credit, the muse is hiding in a corner.

Life throws a lot at us, and it seems the shitstorm of bad costs either money or time. Both of which can negatively impact a writer.

There's no right way to do this creative gig. There's no definition of success aside from the one you decide upon. 

Let's stop taking ourselves so seriously. Let's do something fun. We can type a blog post on our phone. Or write a poem on a napkin.

Can you find a creative way to squeeze in some words? If you find a way to write on the go, or create when you don't think you have time, I'd love to hear about it. 

There's no "right" time. So when are you going to write?

~Roxy

Holy Hell, I made it!

I've been at my computer for an hour now attempting to get to this web page. And I'm scared to leave this page, because with severely limited internet access, I'm not sure I'd ever find y'all again.

On retreat with my writer's group, we've been suffering through the most bare bones WiFi I've experienced in a long while. And I'm reminded more than ever how much of my daily life is online. 

I've spent the last two hours flipping off my screen and hopping between the two WiFi channels I have access to. 

The upside to the whole situation is that I got a ton of writing done yesterday. But don't expect any pictures, because this was a weekend of no makeup and I couldn't get snapchat filters to work. 

I write and chit chat during times of no WiFi. Had I been alone I would have been elbow deep in my stack of books to be read.

Tell me what you do when there's no internet. Do you love a country setting to escape to? Or are you a city-slicker like me who has to have their fix of internet access? I'd love to hear about it.

Now...fingers crossed that I'm able to post it.

​~Roxy

I made it to the retreat. Time to write.

I'm writing this from a place where I'm pretty sure people get lost in the woods and murdered. I had to drive...in the dark...down to a much more southern part of Indiana. On roads without lines on them. It was fucking scary for this suburb dweller. 

So you might be asking yourself, why I did such a thing. Because my local RWA chapter decided to have a writer's retreat. Welp. I needed a kick in the pants, and I signed up. 

I'm sitting here typing this while the sun is rising over a field with a fresh dusting of snow and horses are eating hay just outside the window. Sure it's pretty, but there are also axes on the property that are available to use. Like I said...we're going to be murdered.

But the reason I'm here is because I need to get some writing done. I need to get some motivation, and I need to get a kick in the ass to get myself back out in the publishing world again.

Like I've said in past blogs, (You can check out my 2017 review here), I like to try something new each year. And this year I'm trying a retreat. The fact that it happens right in the dreaded week 2, seemed perfect. 

I'll have to take some pictures to show all of you, but frankly, I plan to spend this time writing. I'm hoping for a 10k weekend. Lofty goals when I'm surrounded by such great women who like to chat as much as I do. But I can do this...right? RIGHT?!?!?

If you're looking for a little buddy writing, you can try something I did for years. Check online for write-ins. I'll even post one from one of my favorite YouTubers to get you started.
Tell me...do you write better alone or with others? What are your tips to getting words in with other people. I'd love to hear about it.

​~Roxy