Roxy Mews's Blog, page 9

I'm leaving the house!

There are certain stereotypes surrounding writers. You know the ones...the ones where we stay in our pajamas all day, drink excessive amounts of coffee, hide out and write or lament about our lack of writing while ignoring things like showering and basic self-care? Yeah. That's me. Pretty much all of them.

My ideal day is getting lost in a book or binging on Netflix and cuddling with my cat and my dog. Oh...writing too. But the writing is only ideal when my muse is talking to me, and we haven't been on speaking terms as of late. Which is exactly what I'm hoping to change this weekend.

Writing trips haven't been in the budget since we bought our home. Old homes are serious money pits, y'all. We haven't taken any trips, but hey...the blue floral shag and kitchen carpet is gone.

I'm changing my lack of writerly travel today. In less than 12 hours I'm heading to my very first writer's retreat with my local RWA chaptermates. I've been stalled on my publishing track, and I'm hoping to be inspired to change that over the next couple days. I'm also hoping for a massive influx of words, but I'm not sure how I'll perform in that aspect because I've never done great work while surrounded by people.

I think it goes back to working in a restaurant as a manager. I'm constantly looking around to see what others are doing and how they are enjoying themselves. Hopefully, I can get over that quirk and get something productive done this weekend, but even if I don't, I'm excited to be surrounded by women who have tons of experience, knowledge, and enthusiasm. 

I'm going back and forth between being super excited, and super nervous. Mainly because there is no escape for this introvert once I get there. But I make it a goal to try something new every NaNoWriMo, and this year, it's going to be writing with other people. 

I'm bringing wine and headphones. LOL. Do you write better in groups or alone? And have you ever been on a writing or work retreat before? I'd love to hear about it.

See you all when I'm on vacation!

~Roxy

Dear Shane Dawson...Bring your music to Amazon

I've been listening to a few Shane Dawson songs on repeat simply because they hit the memory center of my brain. And I thought I should just go ahead and download them rather than replaying them over and over again on YouTube and killing my stupid low data limit from Comcast. (Oh yeah. Still hate you, Comcast.)

​But come to find out, I can't get them on Amazon Music. *sniff* I'm tempted to buy them on iTunes, just as soon as I can figure out how to get them over to my Android phone. 

Y'all...help a girl out if you know how to do that. Until then...listen to these and tell me you aren't singing along. I dare you.

What songs do you like that aren't traditionally played on the radio or trend on iTunes? I'd love to hear them! Bonus points if they are available on Amazon.

​~Roxy

My vote is in, is yours?

Here in the ol' US of A it's election day. And like a lot of moments in my life today, voting this morning made me realize I've changed significantly from even a few years ago.

I was always one of those people who had their hand over the ballot to block anyone from looking over my shoulder. We still have paper ballots at my local polling places, so I tended to hunch over and hide.

This year, when I walked into my surprisingly empty polling location, there wasn't a single available pop up cardboard booth to stand at. I realized I could wait for one to open up, but then I realized I could also just sit at a table and get my voting done. And it was at that moment that I realized I could give two shits if anyone saw my ballot. 

I'd gone online and done research about each of the major, and minor elections that were on my ballot. I had my notes on my phone so I could get in and out quickly without having to remember the extensive info about all the candidates. There were really only a few that were close for me, but I wanted to make sure I didn't get mixed up before I'd had my second cup of coffee.

A gentleman sat next to me and asked if I minded if he took up the space on the other side of the small table. I told him "no", because in the midwest, you are polite by default and even if something is an imposition you say it's fine anyway. Like family "dropping by" with less than a day's notice. It's no imposition at all....really. (Insert sarcasm font, and internal screaming here.)

But once the man sat down, and I found myself going about my business just as I had before, I realized I didn't give a fuck if he sat down and stared at my ballot. 

I didn't give a fuck if he'd have shouted out that my votes were for people that weren't popular in my area. I'm a blue vote in a deep DEEP red state. While I don't always vote party lines, I'd be lying if I said my votes didn't have distinctly blue tinge to them, but I make sure I know who I'm voting for and why.

And if all I do with my vote is let people around me know that not everyone thinks like they do, then I've done something. 

It took me a while to see it that way. Because in my state, my vote doesn't make much of a difference beyond local elections. Nope, I'm here to screw up the "landslide" effect and maybe make a wave to keep the elected officials from drifting too far out to the extremes. I'm here to put in my two cents. I'm here to vote, because I'm able to. And not voting isn't an option. Not voting is a slap in the face to the people who are standing outside a voting location for HOURS to have their say. 

I speak with my money. I speak with how I behave in the real world. And I speak with my vote. 
​Every year women travel to Susan B. Anthony's grave to put their stickers on her headstone. And I paused the first time I realized this was a thing. I speak with my vote. And I hope you do to. Especially if you are a woman. Because not that long ago, we didn't have a voice. Going to her grave and putting my own sticker on it, is officially on my bucket list.

Today, I voted. Did you? I'd love to see your sticker. Tweet it at me or tag me on instagram. There are many reasons voting is important. Don't allow yourself to be silenced, even if your vote simply means you cancel out one of the majority. Your voice is louder than you think.

​~Roxy

NaNowrimo taught me determination

There are some people who despise NaNoWriMo, and I've already seen lots of people talking shit about it. Every year, I know the hate for the idea of fast drafting is coming, but it still stings a little. Mostly because some of the hate comes from authors whose work I respect.

But I want to talk about the process of NaNoWriMo and why it's so damn valuable. 

Everyone knows that having a thick skin is part of the publishing industry. At least, they say they know that, but come November, there will be blog after blog, and post after post, shitting on the idea that any good books can come from NaNoWriMo. People so pissed off and threatened by the idea that their techniques aren't the ones featured, that they feel the need to put others on blast. Here's the problem with that, just because it doesn't work for you, oh wise ones of the writing world, doesn't mean it's wrong. 

Here in the world of creativity, there isn't a right or wrong, there is finding what works for you. And just like I will swear up and down the world would be a better place if everyone was forced to work the holiday season in retail at least once in their lives, I will go to bat for the idea that every writer should try NaNoWriMo...and for more than just a week.

For those of us who do well fast drafting and editing the shit out of the manuscript later, NaNo shows us that we can do this. That it's hard, and it's frustrating, but there is a community to reach out to, and a way to write those glorious words..."The End."  I'd argue that there is just as much to gain from "Losing" NaNoWriMo. Or from going off script and setting a lower goal, or finishing up an already started manuscript, or even doing edits instead of writing new words in November. Because you have to find joy in what you accomplished, even if no one else does. There is always someone ready and raring to tell you that you're "Doing it wrong" or that you "Didn't really win" or that it "Doesn't count". 

You're going to get the wind knocked out of your sails at some point in the month. It could be from outside forces, or your own internal dialogue telling you that because you can't write 10k in two days that you're not as good as other writers. There are plenty of opportunities to compare yourself to others this month, because everyone who is participating likes to talk about it. (You're reading this blog, so you know I'm one of those people.)

Which brings me to another lesson NaNoWriMo taught me...No good comes from comparing your success to other people. 

You have to find strength inside yourself, and this month puts that shit to the test. Even if you don't sign up on the official website, you might be avoiding the internet for more reasons than the upcoming election. And it's a great reason to ask yourself why. 

There will always be someone better at something than you. Not being the best doesn't mean you should take the technique and chuck it out the window. It's a time to hone your craft, and practice your skills. Or maybe it's time to practice embracing the joy other people feel even if it's not your bag. Other people don't cause your feelings. That's all on you. So if NaNoWriMo makes you mad, it's time to do some real work and figure out what in your own mind is getting your panties in a bunch.

I've "won" NaNoWriMo for the last five years, but there were years I didn't feel great about it. I'd look at other writers clocking twice the word count I did, and feel bad. And that was my bullshit to work through. It wasn't easy admitting it was my own brain sabotaging me, but it was the fucking truth. 

I'd argue the biggest challenge NaNoWriMo offers isn't the 50,000 words it prompts you to write, but what you do after this month is over. Some of us will end up with a finished draft, others will have thousands of words to go until they hit the end, and still more will only have clocked a few thousand words, that they may have to trash all of. What you do with that information is up to you, and how you move forward is also completely in your court.

NaNoWriMo taught me I wasn't a quitter.

I didn't hit 50k the first year I wrote. I didn't hit the end of a book for a few more rounds. But the next year, I finished a novel. The year after that, I wrote a better one. Then I started editing. And soon enough I let other people read what I wrote. My first books sucked. Hell, there will be a lot of people who will tell you all my books suck. But I've also hit PAN status at RWA. I've been featured in magazines. I've been "Top Picks" on a couple blogs. All because I didn't stop trying. 

Now, fast drafting might not work for you. I'm not saying it will. I'm saying, talking about writing a book and never putting the words on paper is the only way you really fail. And if you go through the month of November, and realize you don't want to work on this book anymore, no one is going to come for you and point a shaking finger at you in shame. 

Picking yourself up and trying something else, is how you win. Writing another book is how you win. Taking the next step and editing your work, is how you win. Are you still writing? Are you still working on what you set out to do this November? Be proud. Power on. Whatever you're doing with your writing or your career, someone will tell you you're doing it wrong. Do it anyway. You might find out it doesn't work for you after all, but you won't know until you try.

NaNoWriMo taught me determination. It taught me to keep going. It taught me to try new things. What are you going to learn this month? You won't know until you sit at your computer and start.

I'd love to hear about what you're trying. Or what NaNoWriMo is already teaching you. 

~Roxy

I'm defacing a book

It took a lot for me to overcome years of bookmark addiction and carefully laid shelving all in avoidance of damaging books. I never wanted to deface the pages or covers. When the spines cracked from use, I died a little inside. 

Yes. I'm that type of book hoarder. But I'm working through my issues thanks to a book I'm only a couple chapters into but already insanely excited about. This is a book on writing, so sorry, for all the fiction scribblers, I still will never deface a book, unless an author is signing it for me.

It started when I borrowed Save the Cat! Strikes Back from my local library.

I had heard the book mentioned in some of the forums on RWA's website. So I picked it up. 

It was amazing. The author wrote a book that made me think about storytelling in a new way, and I was incredibly inspired. So much so that I even took pictures of the book to save in Evernote and reference later.

I read mostly in ebook and audiobook format, simply because it's less expensive, and I can borrow books from the library without worrying about what that weird stain on page 56 is.

​But this book...this I was going to have to look into buying. I wanted to reference all of it.
Turns out, I wasn't the only novelist that was struck with the brilliance. When I went off looking for where to grab this gem, I found out there was a Save the Cat! book in the context of novel-writing. 

via GIPHY

And it was a recent release, so I stood a chance in hell of it actually being on the shelves at my local Barnes & Noble.

Quick side rant...my local book store sucks. The employees look down their noses at anything that isn't literary fiction, and although there are two aisles of bibles, you have to go by the kids section to find the half shelf of writing craft books. But I'm not bitter...

Anyway. I looked up online, and my bookstore did have a single copy of this book. On release day. So I hurried my happy ass over to the store, and after I was shown where the writing books were (behind three displays of Harry Potter toys), I located this beauty. 

Save the Cat! Writes a Novel starts out with great information, and I did something I haven't done since college. I grabbed a highlighter and started marking this baby up. I was excited, because I had researched the author, (yes, I do that.) and she writes teen fiction. While her genre isn't the same as mine, I'd argue there are a lot of similarities between writing teen fic and writing romance. A couple of the themes are intensified, but many of the tropes have similar veins. Love, heartbreak, self-discovery...you see what I mean.

Jessica Brody, writes with a great conversational style for the introduction, which made me actually read the whole thing without realizing it. I tend to skip introductions to get to the good stuff, but this one, I was smiling through. 

Within the first couple pages of chapter one I found myself wanting to take notes. "I should write that down. I love that!" was uttered many many times. 

I eyed my highlighters sitting in my pen cup, in pristine condition from lack of use. I picked the yellow because it was the lightest color, and defaced the book a little less in my mind. I know, I'm nuts, but I'm fun at parties.

And I went for it. I highlighted. I stopped and thought about exactly how this author was taking the beats from Blake Snyder's books and adapting it. I was going along the same path myself with his books, but she put it succinctly, and in perfect short bits just screaming for highlight.

​I'm working my way through the book with the help of some Miracle Morning S.A.V.E.R.S. (minus the e, because that stands for exercise. Blech.), and my Forest app. I have been keeping the highlighter right next to it. Because I can't wait to dive into the next chapter!

Do you mark up your non-fiction? Do you take notes? Highlight? Any tips on how to effectively mark up a book for this newbie? I'd love to hear about it.

​~Roxy

What to do the day after you're productive

There is nothing like the feeling of checking off every single thing on your to do list. Maybe you got your errands done early and were able to squeeze in something you'd been putting off, or maybe you had an awesome word count day (like I did yesterday), or you just ended up cleaning your house more than you thought because it REALLY needed it.

One of the things I battle with is always trying to improve on the day before. Sometimes the stars align, the muse shows up with extra coffee, and all the lights you hit are green. But that won't happen every day. The fact that I might not hit the same stride as I did the day before is one of the hardest mental blocks I have to battle in my every day life.

So here are a few things I do, the day after I've kicked ass.

1. Express Gratitude

I have a little block in my planner, where I can write down something I'm grateful for every day. This is the perfect spot to brag on myself. And when I've kicked extra ass, I break out my stash of favorite pricey stickers and give myself a Kiss Cut pat on the back. If it was a really great day, I might also talk about it in my journal. Evaluate why it was so good, remind myself of what I've accomplished and make note of anything that might have been different from your average day. But mostly, I'm just writing down why I'm so happy it happened.

2. Make a Plan Based in Reality

Not every day is going to look the same. I had yesterday off to devote to NaNo and all things writing. I kicked wordcount ass. But today, there are a lot of other things that are going to take priority. Like bill paying, and filling up the empty fridge and pantry, and getting food for the animals, and a million other little things that weren't on my "Have To" list yesterday.  So trying to write as much as I did when I didn't have to get out of my PJs until 6pm is not realistic. So it's time to break out the time block sheet and get to work. (I go over time-blocking basics in Day 2 of my #Roxys7DayChallenge)

3. Get Started Right Away

When I'm going to be busy, the only time I'm going to be sitting down is when I've scheduled in a break. (Hint: Those are important too!) So if the clock has ticked over and it is time to get started, I set a timer and move. Sometimes I have to give myself a little pep talk, bargain with my tired body, or even do a count down to convince myself to get my ass in gear, but I do it. Now. Figure out how to pull a no-nonsense attitude with your inner Procrastination Patty, and kick that bitch to the curb.

4. Adjust For Fires

You'll inevitably get stuck in traffic behind an accident, or open up that box of leftovers you were going to eat for lunch and realize you're going to have to go to the store, because food poisoning is not worth it. Something will throw a wrench in. But don't throw everything out the window. Prioritize. There is something on your schedule that isn't vital. One thing that's lower on the list than the rest. Push it off until tomorrow. Now look at your time block and move things around. Things you aren't allowed to kick off your list...food, water, and sleep. You need to take care of yourself. You're top of the list even if you don't want to be.

5. Breathe

If the overwhelm or pressure starts to build, stop what you're doing and take a deep breath. You're in a brand new day, and you're doing the absolute best you can in this exact moment. If you meditate, make sure not to miss your practice. If you don't, turn up some tunes and dance through a chore, or plug in an audio book and listen while you tackle some of your mindless tasks. Listen to something uplifting or funny. Take the moment to appreciate what you're about to get done and remind yourself why it's awesome to do so.

I hate doing laundry, but when I get backed up and overwhelmed I try to remind myself that being able to go into my closet and see the clean clothes means I can pick my cutest or most comfy clothes, and that's a gift to myself. I deserve to be pampered. Even if it's me doing it. 


Today is a brand new day, and we all can take what we've accomplished in the past as a guide, but it's never going to be quite the same feel. It's never going to be the same circumstances. It's never going to be the same day. And that's okay. We're going to tackle the challenges and get shit done. Let's head off and write the next chapter. I'm hoping mine has bacon and coffee in it.

What do you do after you've hit a productivity goal? Does it motivate you to keep pushing? Or are you easily discouraged like me? I'd love to hear about it.

~Roxy

The stages of NaNoWriMo

Fair warning, I'm going to be talking a lot about NaNoWriMo. Because I'm participating, and have a fun group I'm hoping to drag across the finish line with me, there's not going to be a morning where it's not on my mind. 

This is the point where everyone is buzzing with excitement and can't wait to get started on or wrap up a current "Work in Progress" (WIP) that is ready for the best ending ever.

People have been gearing up, prepping, plotting, and promising themselves they won't eat that leftover Halloween Candy for breakfast.

​​But there are a few stages of NaNoWriMo that I know I go through, so if it is your first year participating, I am going to give you a peek at what might happen to your writer brain too.

Now, I'm not saying this to discourage you, but THIS IS HARD. Especially if you haven't done it before. But it's also a community of writers from all over the world doing the same thing, and facing the same struggles.

So here are some of the Stages of NaNoWriMo, you may encounter yourself. I know I've been through them all.

"This is Easy"

This stage usually happens in the beginning of the month. Maybe you're good at word sprints and know you can consistently knock out 500-1000 words in a short period of time. You know you can set aside an hour or two per day and think this is going to be no big deal. The thing about writing is, it's both the easiest thing to do, and the hardest thing to do consistently. And that's exactly why NaNo is a challenge. When you find yourself in the "This is Easy" stage, bank extra words. You're feeling good, so push yourself a little more and get ahead for when the rough patches show up.

"Whoa...I Still Have How Much to Write?!?!?"

This part sneaks up on you. Usually at the end of week 1 or beginning of week 2 for me. You'll be luxuriating in your green bar of accomplishment for the day, and glance down at the graph where it tells you how much you have currently written and how much you still have to write. Before you crest that halfway point, when you're tired and writing at 5am (like I am right now), you'll be flabbergasted about how much there is left. Don't let it stop you. If this is intimidating for you, avoid the graph until you hit 25k. Stay away from groups with power writers if you get discouraged, and keep your goals simple. Get your green bar for the day, every day. 

"This Sucks"

This stage could reference your daily grind for words or your general feeling of apathy about your book. If you're worried about your book, here's the thing, it might suck. I have NaNo manuscripts that will never EVER see the light of day, but those books got me writing again. You have to write crap before you can write the good stuff. It could be that you write messy first drafts and then edit them to death, and they become something beautiful. You never know until the words are on the paper and you reach "The End" of your book. So you might as well write it. You can't edit a blank page.

And if you're saying "This sucks" because you don't like writing everyday, well, then you're learning something about your writing style too. But I suggest you keep going through the month. You can't tell if something works for you unless you give it a chance. I got my first finished book because of NaNoWriMo, and even though that book was horrific, I am so damn proud I finished it. Don't give up.

"Holy Shit, I Might Pull This Off"

This is the point where you start to see the light at the end of the tunnel. It usually happens for me when I get down to about 15k left. One day you look up from your computer and you realize that if you write as much as your best days, you might even be able to knock this out early. Or it might be right as you crest that half-way point hill, and your graph no longer tells you you'll finish in March. 

You can totally do this. The book doesn't have to be a masterpiece. And don't let anyone read it until you edit it. A. Lot. But this book has an end, and by God, you're going to get there.

"I AM A WRITER"

This is my favorite stage. And it can hit anytime throughout the month. Maybe you feel it when you're typing away at a coffee shop and glance up and see another person doing the same thing. You'll nod at each other with bags under your eyes and toast your extra caffeinated beverages before returning to your laptops. Or maybe you'll feel it during an early morning sprint where you get your words out of the way before the day gets crazy with work. Or even late at night when you don't have to work the next day and you're ignoring the latest NetFlix binge because something about your characters is so exciting you can't stop until it's all on the page.

A writer is someone who writes. And that's what this whole shebang is about. Writing. I crave this stage of NaNoWriMo, and it's why I keep signing up.



​NaNoWriMo is my new year. It's my fresh start. It's the time where I drop whatever I'm doing and return to the part of this whole gig that I love the most...telling a story. I get distracted by real life, far too much during the year. Especially in December, but this month is all for me, and it's about getting shit done. 

So let's get shit done together. We're writers. And writers write.

Are you participating in NaNoWriMo this year? It's not too late to sign up! If you're writing, make sure to add me as a buddy (Roxy Mews on the site), and tell me what stage you're on right now. I'd love to hear about it.

~Roxy

Sometimes Old School Works Best

I had planned to get the book I'm drafting right now finished up before NaNoWriMo begins. But we all know how best laid plans go, right?

Damn familial responsibilities and adulting. They tend to show up at the most inconvenient time.

So after waxing poetic to myself about the difference between failing and falling, I decided to cut myself some slack and start fresh. No worrying about the past, because there's no changing it.

I wasn't going to let the day get away from me. Sure...it was already 3pm, but let's ignore that fact. I set my timer and got my daily blog post knocked out. Then it was time to do all the things I'd been stressing about all day.

Between a blast of dry shampoo and putting on real pants, I was scrambling to figure out how the writing was going to happen. I was heading to a place that wasn't very computer friendly. There's always the old "grab a notebook and go" method, but then I'd still have to type it out when I eventually got home. And as a lefty, I didn't want smears all over my hand.

I ran through my office to stare at my computer and think real hard about taking my baby out where there would be tons of kids, and having to hide the middle finger stickers on it. That's when I saw this bad boy propped in the magazine rack I keep him on in my office.

​I bought my AlphaSmart3000 on Ebay a few years back. I'd heard tons of NaNoWriMo folks raving about the device for fast drafting. 

It's low tech writing at it's finest, because it only shows four short lines of text, and there's no notifications, or shiny internet to tempt you away. This bad boy also has the wonderful auto-save feature. So as soon as a keyboard click leaves your fingers, it's captured by the device's onboard memory.

I can only save files by number, not name, and while there is a spell check and a few other features, I only use it to draft, and send the words onto whatever I'm working on. 

It takes three double A batteries that seem to last damn near forever, but of course, since I hadn't picked it up in a long time, I had to change them.

Last night, with only a few minutes to spare, I tucked it under my arm, sent my latest update of my draft to my drive, and took off.

I had the tightest schedule ever to keep, but I knew I'd arrive at the second stop of four fifteen minutes before the event started. I knew I had time.

I got 504 words down in those fifteen minutes, and that is even with people getting up and walking past me in a movie-theater-style seating arrangement. Seriously, folks. Get your shit done before you sit down.

I got home, hours later, and still had to get my words onto my document, but seriously, all that meant was plugging in an old-school USB port and hitting send.

I haven't set up a NaNoWriMo "survival kit" per se, but I do have some of my favorite tools coming into play for the current draft I'm working on, and I'm happy to dig this bad boy out of retirement.

There's something to be said about typing on a mechanical keyboard, and sitting with your words with no formatting and no italics. I find when I'm just thinking about the next sentence, and that's it, that I can write faster than I do on my computer. Because if I don't go fast on my AlphaSmart, I'll forget where I just was and trust me when I say, you don't want to attempt a read-thru on this thing. Using an arrow key to maneuver through a document on a teeny tiny screen is torture.

So I decided to write this blog on it today too. I'm getting ready for Halloween. And there are tons of things to wrap up before the trick-or-treaters start knocking on our door. 

It's time to grab my coffee and start my day. I'm starting it with my blog and morning routine out of the way first.

And my little AlphaSmart is doing its part in keeping me productive. I love this thing.

Do you have any old-school gadgets you love? Maybe it's not even a writing tool. I'd love to hear about it.

~Roxy

Timers are Magic

(*NOTE* I'm linking a lot of things in this article. Hover over the words and click your little heart away)

As I'm getting myself ready for NaNoWriMo this year, I'm realizing that timers are magic. And I'm not the only one who thinks so!

Have you ever noticed how many productivity methods recommend timers? Sure, NaNoWriMo has atimer, but you can also set up word sprints days in advance! If you're going to be home at 9am (EST) on November 1st, click the button below and sprint with me. Let's give this group sprint thing a try.NaNoWriMo Group Sprint for 15 minutesNot a fan of the NaNoWriMo website? You can try Discord, searching for Twitter for #wordsprint, #NaNoWriMo, or #1k1hr, or even send me a message on Facebook, and I'll drop you into my handy dandy NaNo group "Roxy's NaNoWriMo 2018 Rockstars". 

Those are just the various places I'll be hanging out getting some writing done. And I'll be doing it 15-30 minutes at a time. There is something fantastic about using a timer that makes the whole shebang seem more vital. It's a race against the clock to battle back the blank page with tons of words. 

Did you know that timers have the same magic outside of your WIP? It took tons of self-help and productivity guides spewing the same stuff at me for me to take the timer outside of my writing time. But seriously. It's brilliant.

I have been on and off the Flylady method of house work for years. And one of her favorite sayings that I have found myself parroting again and again is "You can do anything for 15 mintues." You totally can by the way. Knowing the hated chore you're working on will only take up your day for a set period of time, and giving yourself permission to stop after you've dedicated time to it, is fucking liberating in a way I didn't know I needed. 

Miracle Morning, the book and lifestyle technique designed by Hal Elrod, began as a way to spend one hour every morning developing himself in different ways. He'd set a timer for things like reading, working out, journaling, etc. If you aren't familiar with the S.A.V.E.R.S., I'd tell you it's worth your time to pick up. 

He has various other books with slants on different careers, including writing, and personally, I've gotten something valuable from each one.Know who else uses timers? People who practice the Pomodoro technique, which is simply setting a timer to get any task done, and then taking a brief break. According Wikipedia, it was a technique developed in the 80's, but I have a feeling people have been doing this for a lot longer than that. 

Why are people talking about setting a timer and using it to get shit done? 

Because it works. Period. Dot. End of story.

I don't know why, and I don't know how. I'm sure there is some kind of chemical in our brains that makes us work harder when we're put up against a hard deadline. Probably something to do with our inherent survival instinct that I don't have the background to talk about. But I can tell you, this timer shit works. 

​I've been using the Forest App, I talked about a couple blogs ago. Holy shit, is this app amazingly helpful. Know why? It stops you from picking up your phone. If you go to check a notification and leave the app, you'll kill your "tree" or "bush". Anyone ever cried during The Lorax? *raises hand* This app will guilt you into doing your shit and putting the social media aside for later. 

I challenge you to set a timer for something you've been putting off today. It's after 3pm my time, so I set a timer to get this blog done. And I'm going to have a happy little tree to add to my forrest in my app in another 8 minutes. Because that's the beauty of the timer, for me. I accomplish more in less time. If I have 6 hours to do something, it will take me 6 hours. If I only have thirty minutes...well, I'll bet I get more done in those thirty minutes than I would have if I hadn't set the timer. 

Do you use timers? If you do, tell me what you use. I'm always down for another gadget. If you don't use timers, are you thinking about snagging one now? I'd love to hear about it.

​~Roxy

Falling is different from Failing

I've been doing a larger than average amount of self-reflection lately. Perhaps it's because my year is almost over. Frankly I don't count November and December as part of the year. Between family functions, extended holiday hours at work, and dedicating myself to my writing renewal during NaNoWriMo, there isn't time for anything other than emergency management. 

With hubby in a newer high stress job this round, there's a whole other circle of hell I'm prepping for. But this makes my writing and morning habits for myself even more important. 

The thing I'm struggling with most right now is learning the difference between "Falling" and "Failing". And convincing my heart as well as my brain, that they are two very very different ideas. It's helping me cope when my carefully laid plans go to shit.

I'm going to fall. Whenever we are trying to get our feet under us for the first time, or after a loss, we'll stumble. I'll fall off the wagon with my morning pages. I'll fall off in my word count, even after kicking a lot of ass the past couple weeks. Hell. Falling down on doing laundry and dishes when I am reminded that they are a chore that is NEVER EVER FINISHED...well, that's definitely going to happen. The rat race of cleaning is fucking discouraging. 

But falling, doesn't mean I've failed. 

My alarm goes off at 5am every morning, and I have the choice on how I want to start my day. Sometimes I'm up and off running. I do a countdown in my head and force myself out of my warm bed and into the bathroom to brush my teeth and slap some cold water on my face.

Other times, I didn't get the sleep I needed and I'm dragging. I take longer getting my morning started. I listen to an audio book and forget to put water in my coffee maker. 

What I have to realize is that just because I missed my morning routine, doesn't mean my entire day is a failure. Just because I missed filling out my planner for a week, doesn't mean I should toss it in the trash. 

When I fall, I've got to tell myself to start where I am, not worry about where I should be.

I'm a perfectionist at heart, and maybe others don't have the same problems with this as I do. But if you've ever thrown out a journal because you couldn't bear looking at your failed attempt at filling the pages, you and I share some traits. So this is a chat for you.

I've been working on mindfullness, and being present in the moment. During meditation my brain always went straight to the idea that if I was not doing something productive, I'd just wasted a moment I'll never be able to get back. Which is the worst way to think about it. And it made meditation a bitch to get through. I could be doing dishes, or laundry, or journaling, or writing. Why the fuck am I worried about my breathing? And OMG, when was the last time the dog went out?

My brain is a scary place sometimes. But something I've come to realize after FORCING myself to do at least a minimum of mediation is that, for those few brief minutes, I am appreciating the fact that I'm breathing. And a breath might have gone completely unnoticed and unappreciated if I'd been rushing around or numbing my brain with planner videos since the news is so scary I'm afraid to turn on the television.

I kept meditating. I stopped. I breathed. And I experienced moments in time I would have missed. While there will never be another moment exactly like this one, there will also be a brand new moment where I can start all over. In the next moment, I am a brand new person that didn't exist in the moment before.

I only fail if I stop breathing. I only fail if I stop starting over and taking another step. It doesn't matter where I was yesterday, because yesterday was an entirely different moment than the one I'm in now. Yesterday doesn't matter, because it's over. What matters is if I'm moving forward from where I am right now.

I'm going to slip. I'm going to slide back down the ladder, or lose my turn in the grand game of life we play each day. But if I look around and really take stock, I'm the only player on my board. I'm the only one who matters in my game. Do I give up? Or do I roll the dice and take another turn?

I roll the dice. I try something new. Or maybe I reinvigorate a habit I know makes me feel good. 

This blog? This blog makes me feel good. I've missed a few days here and there, but I've been posting almost daily.

Today's ramblings are a bit more free-form that I usually post, and I hope as a reader, you don't mind indulging me in musings like this on occasion.

Did you fall today? I did. I fell a few times. But I'm taking a step. What step are you going to take right now? I'd love to hear about it.

~Roxy