Evan Sanders's Blog, page 9

A Life Changing Tip On Anxiety

I’ll never forget sitting in class and having my master coach say to everyone, “Now a lot of things are about to change in your life, and this may bring up some anxiety, but just think of it like this…”

“Anxiety is just new things happening.”

Woah.

New things happening? 

I’ve never thought of it like that before. 

When we really get down to what anxiety really is…it’s a feeling of worry or nervousness about a situation that has a little bit of uncertainty surrounding it. 

Oh good lord…more rowboat thinking right? Future based? 

What will happen next? What will the outcome be? I’m sure you are well aware of the questions surrounding this type of thinking by now. 

In a way, anxiety popping up in your body is a fantastic leading indicator of rowboat thinking.

Remember, the only moment you have is right now. In fact, if you’ve been engaging in the meditation practice you might already have come to a greater understanding of this. 

But what can actually help with anxiety popping up?

That uncertainty?

Love it. 

Embrace the hell out of it. 

The uncertain places in your life are opportunities for growth and development. Do you actually know what is going to happen? Of course not. Will you try to project as much as possible? Yes, we’ve all done that haven’t we. 

But when you start coming back to the present moment over and over again because our minds never stop getting distracted, you get to fully be here. 

Here is a really great place to be. 

Start actually seeing what is going on around you instead of spending so much time distracting yourself from everything that is not in the here and now. 

In fact, a tip for when you are experiencing some anxiety or nervousness in your life is something that you’ve already been engaging in for the past few days…

Come back to your breath. 

Slow down. Breath deep. Slow everything way down. 

When you do this, you come back to being present. 

Really bad anxiety? Slow down even more. In fact, you might actually take some time to sit down and meditate for a bit. 

Do what it takes to come back to the present moment. 

So all anxiety really is, when it comes down to it, is new things happening. 

Embrace that feeling and sit with it. Actually take the time to really feel the anxiety in your stomach and then take a moment to begin to understand why it’s coming up. Learn from it. 

“In this moment, what’s the thing that is happening right now that’s new?” 

When you start to do that, well, things become a lot more interesting. But when you stop living in the future, the anxiety starts to disappear altogether.

Take your anxiety for a ride. 

Action Steps For Today

Intention: To build a healthier relationship with anxiety

Practice: The Old Friend Method

After you digest the lesson above and learn the main way to view your anxiety, I want you to begin to work with it. As anxiety arrives in your life, ask yourself , “What new things are happening.” Then, as if anxiety was an old friend of yours coming in to tell you a story, see what it is saying. When you maintain a sense of curiosity about what is bringing this anxiety about, you will be able to take a few steps back and not feel it as deeply. See what you can understand! 

PS. If you’re feeling a bit “stuck” in life right now and looking for some help in navigating through your challenges, here at the 7 ways I can help you as a life coach www.1on1withevan.com

When Sh*t Hits The Fan

There’s an old saying that goes something along the lines of…

A diamond is a chunk of coal that handled pressure extraordinarily well.

And we are all faced with those pressures

Sometimes internal, sometimes external.

But the weight of life can destroy you or help create you. It can be the thing that defines you in the responsibilities that you have taken on in this life or it can drive you back into mediocrity. 

And that’s NOT what I’m here to help you create…a mediocre life. 

I want you living a hell yeah life. 

So all of this really comes down to choice, and that’s what I want to bring out in you today. 

We are all going to be faced with adversity and tragedies in life but the major difference maker between those who crumble to pieces and those who turn into diamonds is how they decide to react to life’s tests and trials. 

How are you going to handle the pressure?

The first person takes the position of victim and lets everything fall apart around him or her. They let their relationships fall apart, they stop taking care of themselves, they lose their integrity and start withering away. 

The second person decides that they are going to step right into whatever has come their way and face it head on. They tip their hat to the pressure, acknowledge it, and decide that they are going to get through it no matter what…and why?

Because they know that the pressure helps create them and turn them into something stronger. 

If only we could all have this attitude about life. 

We all face these great pressures. 

We all have them wash over us when we are not ready (they always do this) for them and really have no choice in how life decides to do what it does.

A great deal of the time it all happens at once or nothing happens at all. But we all have a choice to make when sh*t hits the fan. 

Never lose sight of that. 

There is something deep inside each of us that is calling out our own unique gifts. Some may lose themselves to the pressures of life and never return back to who they really are. They don’t have the skills, tools, or support system to bring them back and restore their faith in continuing making positive choices.

But for those brave souls that are willing to go through it all to help show the world what is possible, anything can be created. They can live as a representation of what is possible if you take your challenges head on.

And what’s the final piece to this puzzle?

You will start asking for challenges…

You will ask whatever you believe in…for more challenges on your journey to make you grow into the person you need to become. 

And eventually, you will see them all as a gift. 

So the choice is yours. If you’re stuck in something difficult right now, you can make the decision to start charging forward into that challenge…or continue to play the victim. 

Break to pieces…or turn into a diamond? 

Become a diamond.

Action Steps For Today

Intention: To identify the old ways of living and thinking that are restricting.

Practice: Diamonds Or Dust? 

There’s a decision to be made today. Don’t underestimate the magnitude of what I’m going to ask you right now.

Today, take a moment to decide how your story is going to look like from now on. Will you continue to play the victim, or will you take responsibility for your life and decide to become a diamond? 

I think I know what decision you will make. Here’s the practice. In your journal, write a statement that you can go back to that supports your willingness to face any challenge. 

Ex “No matter what happens, what challenge comes my way, how hard life will get…I WILL NOT QUIT.” 

Write what feels right in your journal, and then saw it out loud with some conviction 3 times.​​​​​​​

PS. If you’re feeling a bit “stuck” in life right now and looking for some help in navigating through your challenges, here at the 7 ways I can help you as a life coach www.1on1withevan.com

The Dream Is Free. Hustle Is Sold Separately

Oh and boy it’s going to cost you. 

Did you know that 98% of New Years Resolutions end up failing? 

98%!!!

But why is that? Why do so many people fail something that seems so important to them sometimes weeks or even days after they set out on a new journey?

Broken thinking.

Resolution-based thinking is completely broken and every single year countless people engage in something that is almost designed to have them fail in the first place.

Think about it for a minute (it’s ok we’ve all done this – ahem myself included)…how many times have you said to yourself, “Tomorrow is the day!” and then tomorrow came around and you went…

Ok…maybe tomorrow instead…time to go back to bed? 

I think all of us have. 

Our intentions are great but there’s something that doesn’t quite add up and when we really get down to the brass tacks we find something out incredibly interesting about ourselves…

(You might not want to hear this)

Our integrity…it’s crap. 

And that’s just the dead truth.

I’m not here to tuck those covers in for you so that you just dive right back into living another tomorrow-is-the-day-life. I’m here to help you grow and change the way you look at things so your world can actually change. 

There are no excuses. 

Not in this family. 

This is your dream you’re talking about here.

There’s a good chance that the goal you set for yourself is something that you’ve wanted for years. It’s something that you know would make a massive difference in your life if it became a big part of you. 

Knowing that, you need to take a very different route towards making it happen. 

Because the way you’ve been doing things…they haven’t been working. So let those go. 

And this all brings me to one of my favorite quotes of all time.

“There’s a difference between interest and commitment. When you’re interested in something, you do it only when it’s convenient. When you’re committed to something, you accept no excuses; only results.” – Kenneth Blanchard 

Before you even set your goal, you have to set an intention rooted in integrity. 

And what do I mean by setting your intention?

You have to have the type of attitude (with yourself) that says, “There is no way in hell that I do anything but try and try and try again at this until I achieve this. No matter what. I may fall, I may fail, I may lose, I may suffer, I may cry…but nothing will stop me and I sure as hell won’t be my own worst enemy. I won’t stop until this is over.”

That may take 10 days, that may take 10 weeks, that may take 10 years (took me 15 years for one vision).

But it’s all worth it in the long run.

You also must commit to the fact that the old ways of doing things are now dead and you have to invent new ways to become the person you’ve always wanted to be. 

Lastly, you have to know why you’re doing it. 

Why is this important to you?

If it’s going to get some girl or guy, I’ll tell you right now, you’re going to fail. If it’s to show off…you guessed it…failure. Any shallow “why” is going to land you right back where you were. 

But a why that resonates with your heart? Oh that’s the good stuff. 

A “why” that isn’t based in the rowing mentality from a previous lesson of trying to get to the land of “where it all turns out”… but a why that is an expression of DEEP PURPOSE…

One that will not only serve you, but will light up the hearts and minds of those around you…

A why that represents you down to the foundation of everything you stand for as a person…

When you find that, you will actually really go for it.  

But you have to have that why because when the going gets tough, and I guarantee you every single demon, reason to quit and challenge will come your way, you have to have something to hold onto that will get you through it all. 

If you can do that…

Dreams are possible. 

Action Steps For Today

Intention: To reconnect with your purpose and discover your “why.”

Practice: Find Your Why

Tonight, sit down with a pen and a piece of paper and brainstorm all of the reasons why you are going after your dream, vision, or goal. Make bubbles, boxes, anything you would like. Continue this process until you’ve filled the page up and have landed on a “why” that resonates deeply with you and serves as an expression of purpose. ​​​​​​​​

PS. If you’re feeling a bit “stuck” in life right now and looking for some help in navigating through your challenges, here at the 7 ways I can help you as a life coach www.1on1withevan.com

Come To The Dark Side, We Have Cookies

Come to the dark side…we have cookies…

Could you imagine if Darth Vader said that? 

Star Wars…completely ruined. 

I mean ruined forever. 

Earlier on we talked about little bit about going to the dark places in your life. “The pit” as I will reference it from here on out. That place where all of the not-so-fun-stuff lives. 

Going to these places can be really difficult at times. It’s hard. It’s exhausting. But in spite of all of that it’s one of the most worthwhile adventures you can undertake. 

Why you may ask? 

Because going into the shadows allows you to uncover deep seeded painful experiences and events you truly haven’t come to terms with yet…

And those emotions you tend to avoid. 

When go to the shadows with love and compassion and truly seek to understand the parts of you that may be in pain…you give yourself the opportunity to heal.

Seriously?

Yes!

And how amazing would that be?

How amazing would it be to finally heal the holes in your heart that have been eating at you whether you know it or not for years and years?

But how do you take this journey?

The best way to get to this place of shadows is by doing something you’ve already been learning how to do…

Putting yourself into a peaceful and safe state of meditation.

However, we are going into this state with a very different intention than normal. 

We’re going to go to the places we’ve been neglecting. 

We’re heading straight into the pit. 

Now before we go there, I want to give you some more context and the skill were trying to develop. In fact, surprisingly, I have another analogy for you to work with. 

I call this the “Frying Pan Of Life.” 

When we do shadow work and if were going to use the analogy of a hot frying pan here, the aim is to get your hand close enough to the pan to where you can feel the heat but keep it just far enough away so you don’t burn the hell out of it. 

And this really is a skill when you’re working with emotions.

You want to go into those painful places with compassion and understanding looking to feel the emotions and experience them, but not get so overwhelmed by them that you fall to pieces. 

When you can find that balance of experiencing painful moments and yet being there with compassion and the intention to heal old wounds, miracles can happen. 

But it takes time to get this right and you will find yourself falling in and out of this place often. You will feel emotions strongly…so don’t worry about crying or even bawling your eyes out.

You’re safe…and trust me, you’re not doing it wrong. 

Keep working at it. 

Keep going back to those places looking to forgive others and forgive yourself. 

There’s really no telling you what will exactly happen when you consistently do this exercise but I do know that major pains and worries will release from you over time. That in of itself is what makes the entire journey worthwhile. 

The secondary benefit is that you truly get to unravel your past which allows you to get into the present moment. 

Action Steps For Today 

Action Steps For TOday

Intention: To take a deep dive into the shadows with the intention of healing old wounds 

Practice: Shadow Work

​In the evening, find a quiet place and time to be by yourself and dedicate 20 minutes to entering into a state of meditation. However, instead of working on simply focusing on our breath, we want to pick one event in our life that has effected us negatively and go back to that place. 

​Now it doesn’t have to be the most intense thing you can think of…just something that you are comfortable with (at this point in time) exploring. Go back to this time and place and make contact with your emotions while continuing to be aware to not get so close that you get completely overwhelmed. You may cry, get angry, or get emotional. That’s all fine. But stay with this time and event and bring your understanding, compassion, and healing to the moment. See how much you can learn. See how much you can forgive. See how much you can let go. ​​​​​​​

PS. If you’re feeling a bit “stuck” in life right now and looking for some help in navigating through your challenges, here at the 7 ways I can help you as a life coach www.1on1withevan.com

Your Actions Speak Louder Than Words

Actions speak far louder than words.

Words are what you think you are. 

Actions are what you actually are. 

So when it really comes down to it, you are what you do. While “what you say” has a huge effect on other peoples perception of who you are, in the end, you are a sum result of the decisions you make and what you do on a daily basis. 

Simply put, if you want to change your life, guess what you have to do? 

Change your actions. 

That’s probably why you’re actually here in the first place reading these lessons. You’ve realized that something isn’t working and need to make a change. I’d like to actually take another moment to congratulate you on that because most people don’t ever take that step. 

So well done!

I’m going to give you an incredible tip in a moment that has worked for me time and time again when I felt “stuck” in a situation. But first, before I do that, I want to return back to this concept of actions speaking louder than words. 

It goes further than just being able to follow through with what you say you are going to do. It’s what actually doing it says about YOU. 

And what does it say?

I am a person of integrity. When I give you my word, you can assume it’s as good as done already. 

And to take it another step…

When you can get to this place, in your own life regarding the things you tell yourself that you are going to do, then you are really entering the mind of a winner. 

Remember a few lessons back the part where you have to have a “there’s nothing in the world that is going to stop me attitude?”

The only way you can actually have that attitude is if you have the integrity to back it up. The only way you’ll be able to perform the daily actions necessary in order to achieve the life you want to live is if you have that rock solid foundation built upon your word. 

So if you tell yourself or another that you’re going to do something, make sure you do it. 

Washing the dishes, cleaning your room, finishing a presentation, making a sales call…whatever it may be.

Because every single time you don’t do what you say you’re going to do, you not only lose the trust of other people, but you actually stop trusting yourself. 

And when you lose that, it’s an awful uphill battle in the snow (been there).

So commit to living your life in integrity. 

Give your word and most importantly…

Get it done. 

*PS The big tip is this – whenever you are stuck in a rut or a problem, write out the situation on top of a notepad. For example – I can’t seem to lose those last 5 lbs. Then, write down the left side of the paper the numbers 1 through 21. To finish it all up, start writing out all of the ways you can possibly think of how you are going to solve that problem. You’ll be absolutely floored by how damn creative you get towards the end of the list. Chances are, you’ll find the answer you need. 

Action Steps For Today

Intention: ​To understand your relationship with your words and your actions

Practice: Actions > Words

In your journal or on a piece of paper, write down all of the different situations or ways your words have not matched up with your actions. These would be examples of giving up on things or not following through on promises etc. Write these down on the left side of the page. Then, draw arrows from each of these examples to the right side of the page and start writing out how you will get back in action with these events or situations. ​​​​​​​

PS. If you’re feeling a bit “stuck” in life right now and looking for some help in navigating through your challenges, here at the 7 ways I can help you as a life coach www.1on1withevan.com

I Can’t Hear You Over Your Actions

Actions > Words

Words are what you think you are. 

Actions are what you actually are. 

So when it really comes down to it, you are what you do. While “what you say” has a huge effect on other peoples perception of who you are, in the end, you are a sum result of the decisions you make and what you do on a daily basis. 

Simply put, if you want to change your life, guess what you have to do? 

Change your actions. 

That’s probably why you’re actually here in the first place reading these lessons. You’ve realized that something isn’t working and need to make a change. I’d like to actually take another moment to congratulate you on that because most people don’t ever take that step. 

So well done!

I’m going to give you an incredible tip in a moment that has worked for me time and time again when I felt “stuck” in a situation. But first, before I do that, I want to return back to this concept of actions speaking louder than words. 

It goes further than just being able to follow through with what you say you are going to do. It’s what actually doing it says about YOU. 

And what does it say?

I am a person of integrity. When I give you my word, you can assume it’s as good as done already. 

And to take it another step…

When you can get to this place, in your own life regarding the things you tell yourself that you are going to do, then you are really entering the mind of a winner. 

Remember a few lessons back the part where you have to have a “there’s nothing in the world that is going to stop me attitude?”

The only way you can actually have that attitude is if you have the integrity to back it up. The only way you’ll be able to perform the daily actions necessary in order to achieve the life you want to live is if you have that rock solid foundation built upon your word. 

So if you tell yourself or another that you’re going to do something, make sure you do it. 

Washing the dishes, cleaning your room, finishing a presentation, making a sales call…whatever it may be.

Because every single time you don’t do what you say you’re going to do, you not only lose the trust of other people, but you actually stop trusting yourself. 

And when you lose that, it’s an awful uphill battle in the snow (been there).

So commit to living your life in integrity. 

Give your word and most importantly…

Get it done. 

*PS The big tip is this – whenever you are stuck in a rut or a problem, write out the situation on top of a notepad. For example – I can’t seem to lose those last 5 lbs. Then, write down the left side of the paper the numbers 1 through 21. To finish it all up, start writing out all of the ways you can possibly think of how you are going to solve that problem. You’ll be absolutely floored by how damn creative you get towards the end of the list. Chances are, you’ll find the answer you need. 

Action Steps For Today

Intention: ​To understand your relationship with your words and your actions

Practice: Actions > Words

In your journal or on a piece of paper, write down all of the different situations or ways your words have not matched up with your actions. These would be examples of giving up on things or not following through on promises etc. Write these down on the left side of the page. Then, draw arrows from each of these examples to the right side of the page and start writing out how you will get back in action with these events or situations. ​​​​​​​

PS. If you’re feeling a bit “stuck” in life right now and looking for some help in navigating through your challenges, here at the 7 ways I can help you as a life coach www.1on1withevan.com

50/10: Managing Your Time Effectively

Short.

Quick.

& punchy…

The 50 – 10 rule is an absolute game changer and if you implement it you can turn your productivity levels up significantly. 

The concept is pretty darn simple. 

Work your butt off for 50 minutes without any sort of outside distraction (no phone, instagram, snapchat etc) and then rest for 10 minutes. 

Bang. 

Why does this work? 

You can effectively sit down for 50 minute chunks and really be able to focus a lot of time and effort towards a task without getting burned out. 

Then, the 10 minute break periods allow your brain to reboot and refresh. 

And it works brilliantly. 

It has also been said that one of the most effective tools you can learn on your path towards mastery is being able to focus your mind completely on a single task. 

Both of these pieces combined will help you make massive gains in your growth and development.

So get cracking!

Action Steps For Today 

Intention: To implement the 50 – 10 principle into your life. 

Practice: 50 – 10 Implementation 

Today, for three segments in your day, implement the 50 – 10 principle. Then, in your journal after you are done, record the differences in your productivity levels and focus in comparison towards your previous methods of working.​​​​​​​

PS. If you’re feeling a bit “stuck” in life right now and looking for some help in navigating through your challenges, here at the 7 ways I can help you as a life coach www.1on1withevan.com

Without This, Nothing Works

No one’s looking…

No one’s watching you or checking in on you to see what you’re doing. You’re alone. It’s dead quiet. 

And there you are…sitting, thinking, listening to the chatter going on inside your head. 

There’s a decision to be made.

A decision that you know you need to make and it’s calling for your attention. Maybe it’s a decision that you’ve been on the fence about for a long time or it’s something that you know you need to accomplish today.

Nevertheless, you need to make a choice. 

There’s a tendency when you’re in this place to push this off another day, another week, or even a month.

That happens when you continue to delay the decisions you know you need to make and while it may not have an immediate impact on your situation, it does have a consequence that is running underneath the surface…

A consequence that will undermine your actions in more ways than one…

And something that can absolutely ruin your life. 

Your integrity is suffering. 

We all have some sort of idea of what integrity means, and I’m not going to get into all the different definitions of the word that are out there, but I will whittle it down for you.

Integrity is doing exactly what you say you are going to do…

Especially, when you don’t have an audience. 

There are these little decisions that we need to make each and every day. You know, the small ones that we could get away with not deciding on right now. But making the decision of indecision is actually more detrimental than you think. 

It’s not really about the immediate effect, but rather the effect it has on your integrity with your word and who you believe yourself to be.

Because if you can’t keep your word to yourself, how are you going to keep it when you commit to another person?

How are you going to be in a relationship that is built on honesty when you can’t even be honest with yourself? 

You can’t.

If you are out of integrity…you are out of integrity. 

No excuses. No reasons. No justifications. You are just plain and simple not honoring your word or your intentions. 

That hurts yourself, that hurts others, and that hurts your dreams. 

I told you, I’m not here to sugarcoat your development. I’m here to give you the tools, skills, and provide the words and context you need to improve your life. 

When you are out of integrity with the small things…maybe that’s washing the dishes, cleaning your room, organizing your house…

How can you expect yourself to take care of the big stuff? 

You know the answer to this. 

So without our integrity…the bedrock of our existence in the world…we are living a million miles away from the person we know we can be. 

You have to get back into integrity with your word and with your intentions. Because if you don’t, you will continue to spin your wheel and beg anxiety, fear, doubt, insecurity, worry, and every other negative emotion to come into your life. You are creating a breeding ground for disease and pain by sabotaging your word. 

It has to end. 

It has to end now. 

Let’s get back on track. 

Action Steps For Today

Intention: To get back into integrity

Practice: How Am I Out Of Integrity?

In your journal, answer the question “How am I out of integrity?” This could be with your word, with an intention you have set, or a commitment to someone you have made. Identify all of the ways you are out of integrity. 

Now here’s the fun part. After you have identified the ways in which you are out of integrity, call one of your closest friends up and read off your list. Admit you have been out integrity with these situations and state exactly how you are going to get back into integrity. If you have been out of integrity in a relationship with someone, call them and admit your mistake and let them know how you are going to fix it.​​​​​​​

PS. If you’re feeling a bit “stuck” in life right now and looking for some help in navigating through your challenges, here at the 7 ways I can help you as a life coach www.1on1withevan.com

How Destructive Walls Can Be

“Before I built a wall I’d ask to know, what I was walling in or walling out?” – Robert Frost

When you ask people about walls and what they are good at, they will usually answer somewhere along the lines of “They are good at keeping things out.” 

Yes! Very true. 

I usually ask a follow up question after that, “What else are they good for?” You wouldn’t imagine the pause and dead silence after that.

Thinking. Thinking. Thinking.

Uh…

Alright so I’ll give it to you. As good as walls are for keeping things out, they also do a damn good job of keeping things in. 

Ahhhh. Yes. 

This is exactly where the trouble is when it comes to our daily lives. 

We build walls for many reasons: fear, pain, regret, doubt, worry…I mean the list goes on and on. In fact, the more pain we go through the more walls we build. We build them higher, double-back them, and try to make them indestructible all with the intent of keeping out those bad experiences again. 

And unfortunately, when you are trying to keep out the negative, you are also keeping in the positives.

Remember those gifts you’ve been given? 

They never get to come out to play. 

They stay trapped inside because you have created a bit of a prison for yourself. 

It can get worse. 

Since you didn’t build any doors…because why would you ever want to give the negative emotions a weak spot in the wall to exploit, you’ve failed to create any form of fire escape. 

And as life would have it, it loves to shoot a fiery arrow into your village and start up something good.

I think you know where this is going – no fire escape, a fire in the village, and a whole lot of hay laying around – trouble. In fact, when chaos arrives like this, more often than not, everything burns to the ground. 

Walls can numb you. 

They can turn you to ice. 

Because without experiencing life in it’s fullest and everything that it has to offer, negative and positive, you aren’t actually living at all.

You’re just surviving.

You’re doing exactly what it takes to get by.

You aren’t thriving…and that’s the only place where your best stuff lives. 

These walls that you’ve built served you at one time in protecting your heart, but now they are just hurting you. They are hurting you because you can’t grow from that trapped place anymore. You can’t experience what you need to experience to help you continue to develop. 

The negative emotions stay out (for the most part) but those positive qualities that you have – the potential that you have discovered – those stay in. 

They will never come out when you are living safe inside of your comfort zone. 

That’s just the reality. 

You have to tear down the walls that you think are protecting you and be willing to experience the open fields where everything and anything is possible. 

Scary? Yes of course. 

But when you do that, you allow yourself to strengthen and grow instead of living in fear. All of those things you were keeping out, you can learn to work with them. That’s part of this program here. 

So break down your walls and come out to play.

This is where all the change is. 

Action Steps For Today

Intention: To cultivate a deep awareness of why you have built walls and what positive qualities they are keeping out

Practice: What Are The Walls I’ve Built

Today, sit down and write out in your journal the painful events that have taken place in your life. Write them out in as much detail as you are comfortable with. Then, underneath each event, list out the ways you have constructed walls or protect yourself from those events happening again.

Discover your walls. What are these walls keeping out? What are these walls keeping in?​​​​​​​

See what you can do to take these walls down brick by brick. See what you are willing to make some movement on. Every step you take is another step towards freedom.

PS. If you’re feeling a bit “stuck” in life right now and looking for some help in navigating through your challenges, here at the 7 ways I can help you as a life coach www.1on1withevan.com

The Big “What If”

It’s causing a whole lot of suffering in your life…

If I think about the most pivotal of these lessons this one is way up there. 

Here we go. 

What causes us to get stuck in a rut or really down in the dumps?

There are a lot of situations and events that can put you in that place, but what’s the way out of it? 

I think we’ve all been dragged down into the pit and have no idea which way is up at times.

We are stuck…

Really stuck…

And need some help. 

I’ve got you. 

A great deal of suffering comes from one very specific way of thinking. 

“What if?” (way of thinking)

“What if” thinking sounds a lot like this. 

“Well, what if this happens? What if that did happen? What if this goes down?”

I mean I could probably go on with a million scenarios of how that type of mentality could pop up. 

Why does this cause so much suffering? 

Because instead of living in the way that things “are” you are living in a completely different world that doesn’t exist. Literally, that place doesn’t exist.

All of the wishing, desiring, hoping that things magically pop up in life or could possibly change themselves in the past keep you off the field of life and in the stands speculating about things that may or may not even happen. 

This causes an absolute MESS.

Days, weeks, or years can go by before you get out of this type of thinking. Sometimes…you may never get out of it. 

If you can grasp what actually “is” happening around you, you return back to the land of the present…and most of the time, a world full of gratitude. 

If you don’t grasp this…and return back to the land of “what if?” you are in some nonexistent world and stop creating. 

Can you see how massively different these types of thinking are? 

So bring yourself back…

You’ve been learning that in meditation. 

Bring yourself back to this moment and what is actually going on. 

Bring yourself back and begin creating in the moments that exist right in front of you. 

It’s the only time you can live and it’s the only way you will turn your dreams into a reality. 

Action Steps For Today

Intention: Bringing in full responsibility and acceptance of our current situation.

Practice: Getting Rid Of Our “What if.”

In your journal, what situations in your life have you not accepted and taken responsibility for yet. This could be your weight, a breakup, a bad choice, a horrible habit. What are they? List them out. 

Then, one by one, draw a circle around each of them, draw an arrow away from them and write “I fully accept responsibility for how this situation turns out.”

Then, write your solution to the issue. 

Now, we are making movement! 

PS. If you’re feeling a bit “stuck” in life right now and looking for some help in navigating through your challenges, here at the 7 ways I can help you as a life coach www.1on1withevan.com