Leandra Medine's Blog, page 59

I’m Planning Holiday Outfits for January. Join Me.

In partnership with The Volon.

I always think about this one time, like ten years ago, when I was in a crowded elevator in an apartment building in Soho on what I thought was just an average Thursday night. I was wearing something plain and feeling pretty regular until a bunch of people flooded in, their sequins and rhinestones and reindeer ears completely enveloping the elevator. It was intoxicating! And once we hit the ground floor, just as the party-goers had flooded in, they spilled out, oozing with cheer. They were either going to or coming from a holiday party and all I could think was: When will this be me?

It probably sounds dramatic, but I think what I wanted to know was whether I’d ever be a catalyst for someone else to get in the spirit. For years following that encounter, I covered my body in glitter and velvet and sequins and all the fare you expect of the holiday season in order to actualize this pursuit. Of course, what has almost always happened is this sort of typecasting — by the end of December, I can look at neither a single slab of velvet nor a single sequin and then by January, my style cues are relegated to morose shades of navy and black. This year, I’ve been trying something different, it’s this novel concept called moderation wherein I don’t go all-in with the goal of stretching out the timeframe in which I can be a catalyst for someone else to get into a spirit. Any spirit, really! Just smile. If you want. Starting Jan. 1, here’s how I’ll approach dressing:

If you inherited a ballgown skirt but have found no good reason to wear it:

The former me probably would have added something kind of wacky up top, but current me just wants to wear this skirt with a cardigan and a bag that’s big enough to hold a notebook. My grandmother wore this to my parents’ wedding. It recently occurred to me that it’s short enough to wear with loafers and lately I have been thinking that cardigans and black tie skirts create a great contrast that works neither formally nor casually and therefore perfectly in both settings. I’ve yet to find a jacket solution, but a gigantic scarf might work!

If you refuse to take off your sweatpants:

You know how when stylized athleisure brands were first popping up they all referred to themselves as “yoga to brunch” brands? I’m calling a tartan blazer with velvet lapels as paired with sweatpants and pulled together with the crucial inclusion of a fanny pack that will fit a credit card, your phone, and exactly one lipstick, the equivalent of “brunch to party” clothes.

If you actually have an event that demands cheer, and plan to hit it up after work:

Can you wear feathers under your suit? Or would it get you fired? This jacket has matching pants, and I want to tell you to wear them with the top to work, then pull them off, snap-pants-style, after you leave. This works especially well because without pants on, your legs fail the utility test (no pockets), no to worry, though, because your bag has two.

Gabi C.B. in maple


PO Belt in military


Mani Mini in silver


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May I pretty please now invite you to share your holiday cheer uniform? Upload a pic!

6 PHOTOS
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Photos by Emma Trim.

The post I’m Planning Holiday Outfits for January. Join Me. appeared first on Man Repeller.

5 Instagram Personalities Give the Emotional Scoop Behind an Early Post

There is no doubt that Instagram has seismically altered the cultural landscape over the last decade, but the landscape of Instagram itself has also shifted dramatically at the same time. Since the app debuted exactly 10 years ago, it has transformed from a digital scrapbook of (often questionably filtered) photos into a gargantuan force of discourse, activism, marketing, and monetization. In that sense, not only has it changed culture, it has also changed lives–for better and for worse–jumpstarting careers, providing a platform for new ideas, and birthing the age of the personal brand.

As part of Man Repeller’s examination of the 2010s this month, five people who have been impacted by Instagram in different ways, both personally and professionally, reflect on a post shared the first year they joined the app, and how their relationship with Instagram has evolved since (spoiler alert: I’m one of them). Scroll below to read what we have to say, and feel free to share your own in the comments.

Nell Diamond

Nell is the founder of Hill House Home.

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Placemat @jessicaaaaar @jenx919

A post shared by Nell Diamond (@nelliediamond) on Jun 20, 2012 at 7:47am PDT

June 20, 2012

When Man Repeller prompted me to look back at one of my earliest Instagrams, I had the distinct feeling that I was a middle schooler being called to detention by the principal. I guess I’ve been walking around KNOWING the atrocities of my early instagram feed, but sort of willfully ignoring them. I always knew there would be a reckoning. I just didn’t think it would be on a public platform….

On June 20, 2012, I posted a photo of a half-eaten muffin on top of a report called “US Fixed Income Weekly.” It makes me cringe on about 34 different levels. I was deep in existential 22-year-old panic about my life choices, and particularly my choice to work in finance. I didn’t want to be defined by my job, but I didn’t have the time or energy for much else. We received these reports on our desks every week, and the first time I saw one I remember highlighting half the words on the first page with a note to “look up definition later.”

By June 2012, I had finally started absorbing some of the language, and I think I wanted to show off my knowledge of finance buzzwords with this post. At the same time, I took every possible opportunity to show that I had interests outside of work. One of these interests, apparently, was muffins. I remember posting this and thinking it was premium content. A report about global inflation! On Instagram! Covered in sprinkles! I’m so quirky. I contain multitudes!

My favorite part about the post, though, is the caption. I wrote, “Placemat,” and then tagged two co-workers. I am 100% certain that neither of these co-workers had any involvement in either the eating of the muffin or the taking of the photo. So I must have just tagged them in a sort-of last ditch effort to mask my own self-consciousness. A safety net. Hope you like my photo, but just in case you don’t, here’s a vague reference to a potential inside joke and/or hidden meaning. There was no inside joke. This post received 8 likes.

In 2012, even the very posting of an Instagram felt niche at my job. I was the resident millennial on my desk, and I remember being very smug about it. This was my first job out of college, and even though I loved my team, I knew pretty quickly that it was not the right fit for me. Most days, I cried on the subway home. I was so nervous and insecure at work that for the first six months, I literally did not bring a coat to the office because I couldn’t muster up the courage to ask where the coat closet was. I was desperate to be taken seriously, and desperate to prove my worth. I wanted to keep on “achieving” the same way I had in high school and college, but I couldn’t shake the feeling that I was an alien every time I sat down at my desk. It was a dark time.

On top of that, I was wearing baggy, ill-fitting suits and almost no makeup. I quite literally never let my hair down. I straightened my curls into submission and wore my long hair in an uncomfortable bun most days. This was particularly difficult for me because fashion is an integral part of my self-expression. I’ve always loved glitter and bows and hair-accessories and heels, but I worried that no one would take me seriously if I dressed the way I wanted to. I faulted myself for not outgrowing the traditional trappings of archetypal girlhood. By “toning myself down,” though, I ended up feeling like I was hiding my true self. I used to joke that I wore a “finance Nell” costume every day.

I look back on my social media posts from these days and can so clearly see how trapped I felt. I was basically shouting through the screen, “I am more than this!” In the years that followed, social media became a real outlet for me. I quit my job not long after the muffin post and went to business school so I could transition into the startup world. Now I wear the weirdest stuff. I basically can’t go to an important meeting without a cat-eye and a hair bow. For the majority of the past decade, Instagram is where I have felt free to share my strange, glittery shoes, and my odd jokes, and to get into an hourlong DM conversation with a stranger at 3 a.m. because we’re both up feeding newborn babies. I’ve grown up with Instagram, and I’m so relieved to say that who I am on the app today is a real representation of who I am at my core. I don’t share half-eaten muffins anymore. But mostly because I hate muffins. I always have. I prefer bagels.

Margaret Zhang

Margaret is a filmmaker, photographer, and writer.

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May I Interest You in a Plethora of Party Pants?

During holiday party season, dresses start to act a lot like your classic middle school science lab partner nemesis: They take all the credit even though you were the one who stayed up all night writing the results and analysis for your final report. In the case of this tenuous metaphor, “you” are pants (stay with me here). Dresses get all the hype and attention despite the fact that PANTS are the ones actually keeping us warm. (Are we all on the same page here?) I think this happens because dresses have a reputation of being innately more festive by virtue of the fact that, at this time of year, wearing them is an act of weather-averse frivolity. Pants, on the other hand, are bound to utilitarianism simply because they’re a practical winter attire choice. And that’s how we routinely end up with endless shopping and styling guides for party dresses but an absolute dearth of literature regarding party pants.

Reader, I have made it my personal mission to correct this imbalance. Please keep scrolling for a roundup of the best pants-that-like-to-party on the market right now, so you can have your egg nog (keep warm) and sip it, too (feel festive).

Party Pants That Will Keep You Toastier Than a Hot Cross Bun

If you’re going to party below the belt with a pair of party pants, you might as well take full advantage of their reputation for warmth. Quilted puffer pants are a great place to start, especially when they come in a shade of yellow so bright it probably counteracts seasonal affective disorder. Pant equivalents of sweaters are also fine options as well, like these ribbed cashmere ones that look like gingerbread and these trousers made from alpaca, cashmere, and wool. If you’re a skinny pant gal, how about these blue velvet dreamboats? Not a fan of skinnies but very much a fan of velvet? I’ve got the party pants for you. And lastly, as we learned from none other than Ross Geller, leather pants are a supreme source of potential warmth–and a chic one to boot.

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Party Pants That Are Uniquely Comfortable

If comfort is a priority in addition to party-readiness, I can assure you there are pants that service both with flying colors. I wore this shiny pair in a shoot that accompanied my trend story about blazers and can attest that they’re a slam-dunk for this category. I could have easily slept in them, a hypothetical these pajama-style pants offer as well. You also can’t get comfier or festive-er than a plaid legging or silver lamé pants with an elasticized waist (these are good where elasticized waists are concerned, too).

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Party Pants That Were Born to Sway Under a Sprig of Mistletoe

A warning to all disco balls: these pants are likely to give you a run for your captivating qualities. They’re also magnets for the holiday party equivalent of a summer dance floor make-out, which is obviously a winter mistletoe peck. Anything with sequins is an automatic win here. Bonus points if the sequins are accompanied by a jaunty kick flare. If your festive feelings are tripled by the presence of plaid, try these on sale for $69.75. And if you really want to shake things up like the majestic human kaleidoscope you are, then I highly suggest investigating these.

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Any and all party pant selfies welcome in the comments below.

Feature photos via Getty Images.

The post May I Interest You in a Plethora of Party Pants? appeared first on Man Repeller.

Why Llamas, Alpacas, and Goats are the Animals of the Decade

Think about the last time you saw a photo of a llama, alpaca, or goat on the internet. Was it thriving in a verdant field? Did it look good-natured, or like it had just finished a well-rounded meal? Did it have a supportive group of friends and lovers? Was it utterly absurd? They’re everywhere: from memes to home décor to diapers to the top toy of 2019. So it should come as no surprise, then, that I’m calling camelids and their cousins (goats) the internet darlings of the 2010s.

WHY, though? What is it about these slightly odd, very spitty quadrupeds that has had the internet, and specifically social media, going berserk? Say what you will, trend experts, but I have an infallible theory that is not founded on any data: Llamas, alpacas, and goats occupy an “alternative” space that perfectly reflects the cultural zeitgeist, making them the ideal social media animals.

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Sunday.

A post shared by @ mignonettetakespictures on Feb 9, 2019 at 10:57pm PST

We didn’t get here by accident. When the internet was born, cats undeniably dominated. Memes, videos, Reddit threads—it was all cats, all the time. And it makes sense: Felines were the perfect animal counterpart to the original internet dwellers; quiet, individualistic, often introverted and surly (if you feel like I’m judging, trust me, I was one of them).

As the internet started to fill out and universalize, however, dogs took over as the darling of online culture. Being the most beloved domestic animal, videos of boops and puppy piles and soldiers coming home to their dogs were really “it” for the majority of the 2000s, and to some extent, will probably be forever. But at some point, the internet cried and said, “This place was made for all kinds, for weirdos and normals alike (but, like, mostly weirdos). Is there not an animal that’s a little less, I don’t know, obvious that can be our mascot?”

Cut to a video of screaming goat, the proverbial kid in the coalmine.

The rest followed:

In 2013, the aforementioned goat went viral, and so did the Taylor Swift parody.

In 2014, Frostie the Goat wheeled his little hind hooves right into my heart.

In 2015, two llamas escaped from a retirement home in Sun City, AZ and the sexy police chase went viral.

In 2017, a video of goats in jammies at a farm in Maine took my soul by STORM.

In 2018, a change.org petition forced THE emoji-makers into creating a llama emoji.

By the time 2019 rolled around, llamas, alpacas, and goats were fixtures of memes, videos, and social media in particular, making their way onto brand and media Instagram and Twitter accounts as some of the most highly-engaged content. Because who can look at a pic of alpacas kissing and be like, fuck that? None of you can. Not one.

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Rg @shamarra_alpacas

A post shared by @ mignonettetakespictures on Sep 3, 2019 at 8:49am PDT

There’s a good chance you’ve noticed all of these animals on the @manrepeller Instagram, if you follow us there (and omg we are FIGHTING if you don’t because I manage it and it’s my child). They’re the perfect fit, and not just because they’re part of a cultural moment that defined the 2010s and gave us the breath of fresh grassy air and oddball levity we so desperately desired, but also because they inspire the right questions, such as: How did you even come to be, you strange, strange horse-cat? They’re bizarre, just like us.

That said, we’re moving into a whole new decade of possibility, and though I’m not saying goodbye to our fuzzy freak friends, I’m curious about the next energizing animal movement. Will it be afghans? Capybaras? Let me know your thoughts. Personally, I’m pulling for lizards but I understand if that’s not your scene.

Feature photos via Daniel Gebhart de Koekkoek.

The post Why Llamas, Alpacas, and Goats are the Animals of the Decade appeared first on Man Repeller.

Ask MR: I’m Stuck in a Job I Hate and Everyone Thinks I’m Happy. Where Do I Go From Here?

Hello and welcome to our advice column, Ask MR, where we answer your burning questions, hoping we’ll become the ointment to your life rash. Ask us a question by sending one of us a DM, emailing write@manrepeller.com with the subject line “ASK MR A QUESTION,” or simply leaving one in the comments.

“I am 30 years old and you could say that I am quite successful in my field of work. But I am not happy. Signs are not visible at first. I look happy, my social media feed looks happy, my family and friends think I am happy. But the truth is this: I am very angry at myself for taking this career road, for putting effort into it, for accepting promotions, and for acting like I want it. I am a liar and hypocrite. But now I want to change. This is the moment, I am 30 years old, I am still youngish. But I don’t know where to start? What to do? How to do it? I don’t know what I want. Is there anything you can advise me?”

On my first read, your letter sounded kind of dark—a little depressed maybe, and definitely anxious. But I’ve probably read it around 30 times now, and it’s starting to lighten up for me. In fact, every time I finish it again, I get a little more excited for you. I don’t know why I missed it the first time, but your words read a lot like a necessary reckoning, and they’re imbued with a sense of urgency—two things that make for great change agents and motivators, even if they make you feel a little panicky. You’re clearly on the cusp of something.

I can relate to your situation for a few reasons. For one, I’ve been where you are, professionally: angry at myself for following a path I didn’t ultimately want. I remember how overwhelming that feeling was, how it would build up in my chest, making me feel powerless. I also recently turned 30 and experienced a birthday-related spiral I didn’t anticipate, so I understand the insidious, almost surprising role age can play in self-analysis. And finally, I know how it feels to want something different but have no idea how to get it—or what “it” even is. All of these scenarios are deeply uncomfortable, and they can make you feel one of the strangest emotions: urgently aimless.

Obviously I can’t tell you exactly where to go to find yourself (I wish I could), but I hope I can offer you a kind of pathological roadmap—a way to mentally chart your path forward so you don’t feel like an errant traveler with her boots stuck in quicksand and a fake smile on her face. That’s a little how your letter reads, but I sense this isn’t it for you. You’re just a little stuck, which is one of the most fundamental human predicaments.

As I see it, your first hurdle is yourself. You’re angry, doubting your life decisions, calling yourself a liar. I know those shamey feelings well—I remember the anger the most viscerally. During the peak of my professional ennui about five years ago, it would crash over me in waves at random times. I’d be halfway through a spreadsheet or in the middle of a meeting when suddenly the pivotal choices that had gotten me to where I was would flash through my mind like a lowlight reel and I’d just seethe. Once I remember texting my mom in a flurry of 3 p.m. frustration, asking why she didn’t stop me from doing this or that in the past, desperate to pin my choices on someone else, and she just said something like: “Babe, I don’t know what to tell you. You were confident in your decisions! And they taught you a lot.” She was right, but that just made me hate myself more.

Who were you when you made the decisions that got you here, and how can you better understand her?

As you might imagine, those months where I courted my anger and regrets over and over weren’t particularly productive. In fact, often they felt like the opposite; I was so busy retracing my missteps I couldn’t imagine a path forward. That didn’t stop me from trying though—I thought and thought and thought, waited for an answer to appear, didn’t find one, got mad all over again. This is how shame works; it keeps you on a toxic feedback loop going nowhere. And I didn’t manage to find my way out of it until—brace yourself, Pinterest—I learned to forgive myself. It’s hard to explain without sounding corny, but accepting my past decisions and having compassion for the version of me that made them was critical to my ability to make new ones I could be proud of.

So my first question to you is: Who were you when you made the decisions that got you here, and how can you better understand her? Consider the version of you that chose this career path, pursued it ambitiously, and tried to project happiness to her family and friends. What motivated her? What fears, what insecurities, what uncertainties? Consider what factors were out of her control—her upbringing, her environment, her mental health, her luck. Can you extend her the empathy you might extend to your best friend? And maybe more importantly, what about her do you cherish and hope to still embody?

It took me a long time to answer that last question for myself, but ultimately I realized the 17-year-old me who chose to study something I didn’t care about was deeply thoughtful and future-oriented. As much as I envied the kids who made choices emotionally, nary a thought to the consequences, that was never going to be me. Learning the benefits and drawbacks of my pragmatism was so much more helpful than maligning it outright (and it also helped me understand where I could stand to take more risks). You may feel different from the person you were when you got yourself into this situation, but I’m sure there are parts of her you want to protect, if only to use a little differently going forward.

I know all this sounds like woo-woo therapy shit (which happens to be some of my favorite shit), but I think you’ll find it hard to make progress if you don’t make peace with yourself. You said you’re ready for a change, but the good kind of change—the kind that blows up the sediment and fortifies the good stuff—requires patience, self-respect, and a willingness to take a chance on yourself. If you’re too busy calling yourself a liar and a hypocrite, I think you’ll find it hard not only to move forward, but to quiet the noise enough to figure out what forward even looks like to you.

Speaking of which, another question: What does it mean? You mentioned happiness a lot in your letter, but I’m not sure that will be your most useful measurement if you’re looking for something more sustained and rooted. My guess is you’re after fulfillment. (As Leandra implied in this story, it’s easy but not helpful to confuse the two.) Whereas happiness is fleeting and unpredictable, fulfillment points to something deeper and more fundamental. This word is thrown around a lot in modern conversations about work and life and work/life balance, but I find it helpful to view it less literally. In my experience, fulfillment isn’t a checklist of things I’ve managed to master and balance, it’s simply knowing myself and building a life around that knowledge. Of course, that’s not actually so simple, so it may help to ask yourself two things: What’s fulfilled you in the past, and what can you do to get to know your present self better?

Maybe it won’t be the “right” thing on the first try, but sometimes the right wrong thing is all we need to shake the right thing loose.

Maybe “getting to know yourself” sounds like a strange or teenage endeavor, but the impulse to fill in the blanks of who we are and what we want with cultural scripts and other people’s voices can still be strong around our age—especially when it comes to a rite of passage like turning 30. This is why the question of what we want can feel so impossible to answer (and unproductive to ponder). But getting to know ourselves better, whether through experimentation or risk-taking or therapy, has a satisfying sense of momentum to it. It offers us a path forward when we don’t know what we want yet.

When I was struggling to find professional fulfillment, things started to turn for me when I stopped thinking about my path and instead started forging a new one, even if I still didn’t know what I wanted. This is where my newfound self-acceptance and respect became really helpful, because forging a messy path takes a lot of guts and humility. It means asking for help, looking silly, trying things you’ve never tried but wanted to. It might even mean enduring a bunch of false starts, which can be embarrassing. I’m not necessarily talking about trying a new hobby or quitting your job (although I could be), I just mean the kind of boundary-pushing you’ve shied away from over the last 10 years. The things you’ve put on the backburner due to shame, anger, and fear.

For me, trying new things and breaking my rules helped me rewrite some of my old scripts, which led me to new and surprising definitions of “fulfillment”—all of which helped me make more confident decisions, something I couldn’t have done from my original, stagnant shame spiral. I always feel cliché when I advise myself or others to just do something (anything), instead of ruminate, but life has shown me over and over that action answers more questions than inaction, so I’m sticking to it.

Maybe that’s why the sense of urgency toward the end of your message excites me. I get the feeling you’re about to break through your antsiness to something actionable. Maybe it won’t be the “right” thing on the first try, but sometimes the right wrong thing is all we need to shake the right thing loose. Until then, I think the reckoning you’re experiencing is something to be proud of. You’re being honest about your feelings—you could push down them all down, explain them away, and maintain the status quo, but instead you’re facing them. And if that’s not something you’ve done before with such acuity, that means you’re already making a change. Now see if you can keep the momentum going.

Feature photo by Alistar Matthews, Prop Styling by Sara Schipani, Art Direction by Lorenza Centi.

The post Ask MR: I’m Stuck in a Job I Hate and Everyone Thinks I’m Happy. Where Do I Go From Here? appeared first on Man Repeller.

Snack Review: Every Cheese Plate Cracker, Definitively Ranked

In the 227 years since the humble cracker was invented, the market for flat, edible cheese shovels has exploded. Today there are round ones, mottled with docking holes, there are thin rectangular ones, there are tiny cracker squares, and there are irregularly shaped ones marketed whimsically as “crisps.” And the importance of selecting a good one cannot be overstated. The carby barge with which you pair your cheese is nothing if not a reflection of your true existential intentions.

Accordingly, I have taken it upon myself to compile a ranking of the best specimens on the market. Below you will find my reviews of 14 popular crackers, divided into categories (show me one person who’s stuck deciding between a Ritz and a Wasa—one person), ranked in ascending order of cheese board viability (that is, worst to best) and awarded anywhere from zero to 10 points across each of the following key factors: flavor, texture, and structural integrity. (Hypothetically, the perfect cracker would get 30 points.) For the greater good of your forthcoming holiday parties, I didn’t go easy on any of them.

The Cult Classics

#5. Triscuits: Original (19.5 total points)

There may be a time and a place for Triscuits, but it is not “on a cheese board.” No one ever gazed into the distance during a dinner party, wishing they could ride out the remaining minutes with a few squares of baked, shredded whole wheat. They’re sturdy and dependable, but, like a bean salad or talking to your uncle’s work friend at Thanksgiving, not nearly interesting enough to warrant your full attention. I am likely serving you Triscuits if my cheese situation requires a strapping receptacle to make it from table to mouth, and you can’t be trusted with a flimsier cracker.

Flavor: 5.5; ample salt is their saving grace

Texture: 5; Brillo-y

Structural Integrity: 9; but not necessarily in a good way!

Optimal Cheese Pairing: Something lightly sweet, independently exciting, and demanding of a robust scooping vessel, like broiled feta drizzled in honey, or gossip so good no one’s paying attention to the crackers.

#4. Carr’s Table Water Crackers: Original (20 total points)

What Carr’s TWCs—go with it—lack in flavor, they make up for in support. They’re the Boy Brow of cheese board crackers: they simply serve to accentuate what you’re already working with, and wouldn’t dare steal even a wisp of attention from another element. One serving exceeds no more than 3% of your daily value of any nutritional factor listed on their box, which I think encapsulates their vibe pretty well. TWCs are making an appearance at my party when what I really want for you to notice is the cheese. (And me. In reverse order.)

Flavor: 5.5; mild and a little toasty

Texture: 7; thin and crisp, yet surprisingly tender

Structural Integrity: 7.5; a solid landing pad for toppings, but I’m not going to build a house with them!

Optimal Cheese Pairing: A round of Époisses, which cost half my dinner budget and which I’ll be pronouncing incorrectly for the duration of the evening.

#3. Red Oval Farms Stoned Wheat Thins (23 total points)

In their acceptance speech for this wildcard win of third place in the Cult Classics category, Stoned Wheat Thins say earnestly that this is such a surprise, truly, and I believe them. Tedious on the surface, and in the name, and in their aroma, these squares of Canadian cracked wheat actually present an ideal balance of their own personality and complementary simplicity, with just the right amount of nuance and seasoning to make you forget you’re alone tasting crackers on a Friday night. Stoned Wheat Thins shall hereby be on my cheese plate when I’m striving for equilibrium.

Flavor: 7; “stoned” and “wheat” come to mind

Texture: 8; neither crumbly nor especially brittle

Structural Integrity: 8; you could comfortably play dominoes with these

Optimal Cheese Pairing: Not, as the image on the box I’ve purchased suggests, six thin shards of Parmesan atop a spoonful of raw sliced tomato atop a single leaf of basil, but pretty much anything else.

#2. Wheat Thins: Original (23.5 total points)

Wheat Thins self-identify as more of a snack than a cracker, but that won’t stop me from covering them in cheese. This is, incidentally, how I approach all of my romantic relationships. Thanks to sugar and malt syrup, they’re sweet in a mellow, familiar way that’s both unassuming and gratifying—or perhaps they’re gratifying because they’re unassuming? (Celebrity children, take note.) I’m introducing Wheat Thins into the mix when I’ve known you forever and we’re about to go to town on soft, salty cheeses while watching Big Mouth and complaining about something perfectly solvable.

Flavor: 8; dulcet and nutty, like your aunt who doesn’t drink after a half-glass of wine

Texture: 7.5; they yield a satisfying shatter

Structural Integrity: 8; points off for a relatively small surface area

Optimal Cheese Pairing: A 1950s-style cheese ball.

#1. Ritz Crackers (24 total points)

If you told me that Ritz-Carlton hotels were named after Ritz crackers, I would totally believe you. I mentally associate both with luxury, glamour, and butter molded into the shape of a seashell. Should I bestow unto you a Ritz with any cheese wedge, you make me feel seen.

Flavor: 8.5; buttery, salty, excellent

Texture: 8.5; hi, scalloped edge for flair

Structural Integrity: 7 but who’s counting?!

Optimal Cheese Pairing: Smooth peanut butter, a thin slice of apple, and sharp Cheddar (don’t @ me).

The Top-Shelf Contenders

#5. Trader Joe’s Raisin Rosemary Crisps (18 total points)

Every aspect of this product’s name implies greatness, and yet, it falls as flat as a cracker pun. A heavy rosemary flavor settles around what would be a delightful raisin ratio, a cloying fog smothering the gentle sweetness. Should you find these on my cheese plate, it’s because you told me in advance that they’re your fave.

Flavor: 4.5; points for raisins

Texture: 5.5; somewhere between a cracker and a tiny piece of over-toasted bread

Structural Integrity: 8; very firm

Optimal Cheese Pairing: Taleggio—or anything creamy and mild—to NEUTRALIZE THE CHAOS, please, I beg of you.

#4. Lesley Stowe Raincoast Crisps: Cranberry Hazelnut (21 total points)

Raincoast Crisps are artisanally crafted in small batches, and they won’t let you forget it! See: the declaration on their packaging, their high price tag, and the way each one is hunched over distinctively, in the manner of an elderly French man at a farmer’s market. In practice, these crackers are a little nutty (hazelnut!), a little sweet (cranberry!), a lot crunchy (crisps!), and lacking in sodium (noooo!). These are on my table if I want you to think I’m doing better in life than I really am.

Flavor: 7; some extra salt would go a long way

Texture: 7; a bit less brittle than the TJ crisps

Structural Integrity: 7; they buckle at the cran spots

Optimal Cheese Pairing: Whipped ricotta, a pinch of Maldon, and a glass of piquant wine you spend all night telling your guests is natural.

#3. La Panzanella Mini Croccantini: Original (23 total points)

There’s really nothing “mini” about La Panzanella’s crackers, each of which measures 1.5 by 3 inches, sawtoothed side to sawtoothed side. A pair of such croccantini—whose name apparently refers to crunchiness, in Italian—would happily house the cracker sandwich of my dreams, with a great deal of cured meats, cheese, and jam. Each cracker manages to taste plain but not boring, a precisely salted palette for any trappings. I will honor you with these creamy sophisticates if all that’s missing from our shared snack board/relationship is a couple of strapping yet subtly flavored specimens to bring everything together.

Flavor: 7.5; quiet but lovely

Texture: 8; crisp, and as tranquil as not getting a work email for four hours on a weeknight

Structural Integrity: 7.5; not going to survive being run over by a car

Optimal Cheese Pairing: A cracker sandwich* with Manchego, salami, and fig spread. (*This is a thing.)

#2. Effie’s Oatcakes (25 total points)

Effie’s Oatcakes are like a cross between a cookie and movie theater popcorn, and no one—NO ONE—could be mad about it. That is all you need to know. These are on my cheese board when I’m in the mood to treat you.

Flavor: 8.5; odd and perfect, for the aforementioned reasons

Texture: 8.5; a crumbly, buttery invitation for incisors everywhere

Structural Integrity: 8; biscuit-y in the British sense

Optimal Cheese Pairing: The velvet-iest, stinkiest thing you’ve got, like Brie de Meaux.

#1. Rustic Bakery: Olive Oil & Sel Gris (25.5 total points)

These are the crackers your girlfriend told you not to worry about. Long and spindly as the fingers of a witch who’s blessing your snack set-up for life, Rustic Bakery’s offerings are the physical embodiment of that moment when you realize your cheese plate just matured into a cheese board. (Mazel.) Their flavor develops into something compelling way after you think the point has passed at which it possibly could, like the plot in a Noah Baumbach movie. And then, suddenly, they taste exactly the way it feels to curl up in a hotel bed that’s way fancier and fluffier than your one at home. When you see these near my cheese, it’s a great day for all.

Flavor: 9.5; sweet, salty, and the smallest amount tangy

Texture: 9; *kisses fingers like a cartoon chef*

Structural Integrity: 7; lithe yet sort of strapping, like a Hanson brother in his prime

Optimal Cheese Pairing: Room temperature Morbier, peach jam, and a sense of calm that previously seemed attainable only for a fictional character or Goop reader.

The Healthy-ish Options

#4. Wasa Multigrain Wholegrain Crispbread (14 total points)

Wasas have a dedicated group of loud fans, and I always wondered if I’d join ranks—I love a controversial snack—until the very moment I set out to taste one. As I lifted the package to tear open a corner, the block of Crispbreads hissed forebodingly like a tiny, angry rain stick. Raising a single Wasa to my mouth, I swear that a murder of black crows burst from the cracker package and flapped by quickly and ominously out my kitchen window. I took a bite. Then another. It’s not that it was that bad, exactly—I could see myself dipping one into soup, as a way to slow my soup roll, or dousing it in a very saucy dip. But as for a companion to cheese, you’d be better off using an old shoe.

Flavor: 3; points solely for the faint sourdough and rye notes

Texture: 3; if ceiling insulation were suddenly petrified

Structural Integrity: 8, I guess; they’re large and stable

Optimal Cheese Pairing: Cream cheese? Any jam? Wet, wet water?

#3. Almond Nut Thins: Hint of Sea Salt (16 total points)

No, but also kind of yes. These Nut Thins are entirely inoffensive, with an almost shell-like texture that lends me the confidence to say that no one in the history of ever has polished off an entire box. With an exciting, spreadable cheese, they’d be… just fine.

Flavor: 4.5; oat cake–like

Texture: 4.5; shell shell shell!

Structural Integrity: 7; a very intact cracker, despite a teensy surface area

Optimal Cheese Pairing: Humboldt Fog, raspberry preserves, and a large glass of alcohol.

#2. Ka-Me Rice Crackers (17.5 total points)

For a four-ingredient, gluten-free cracker, Ka-mes are shockingly pleasant. They’re mainly made of Jasmine rice, which tastes like it’s been toasted. While these crackers offer no real sex appeal, they’re a solid option.

Flavor: 5.5; straightforward in a good way

Texture: 5.5; a little shell-like but with more crackle

Structural Integrity: 7.5; similar to the Nut Thins, with slightly more surface

Optimal Cheese Pairing: A creamy, young Gouda and a single grape.

#1. Mary’s Gone Crackers: Black Pepper (19 total points)

Has anyone seen Mary since she’s gone crackers? Is she okay? Regardless, these grainy, seedy rounds would be a top notch choice for a ~~plant-based eater~~ or just a plain old crunch lover. They’re the best of the healthy-ish bunch.

Flavor: 6.5; bulk bin vibes

Texture: 6; delicate and crisp

Structural Integrity: 6.5; you’re not choosing these if you’re a cracker sandwich person anyway

Optimal Cheese Pairing: Grana Padano wedges, spicy honey, and hopefully a positive update about Mary’s well-being.

TL;DR

In conclusion: It’s possible I like crackers more than I like people. But that’s something for me and an unsuspecting mental health professional to work out! In the meantime, I’ll be stockpiling my top four picks: Rustic Bakery’s Olive Oil & Sel Gris (LYSM it hurts), Effie’s Oatcakes (honestly could not have predicted), Ritz (I’m my best when I’m with you), and La Panzanella’s Mini Croccantini (this makes me an elegant Italian lady, correct?). Plus, every single kind of cheese.

See All 4

Have a hot (or cold) tip for our Snack Critic? Leave a comment or send her a note at contactellaquittner@gmail.com. (And you can follow Ella on Instagram and Twitter here.)

Feature photo by Alistar Matthews, Prop Styling by Sara Schipani, A rt Direction by Lorenza Centi.

The post Snack Review: Every Cheese Plate Cracker, Definitively Ranked appeared first on Man Repeller.

Office Apropos: 14 Outfits We Wore to Our Holiday Party

We’re in it! The peppermint frosting thick of office holiday party season! Which is why the members of Team Man Repeller found ourselves seated at a cozy West Village restaurant called Niche Niche (highly recommend if you’re at all partial to good food and intimate dinners) earlier this week, embarking on the annual tradition that is imbibing champagne alongside your coworkers.

The champagne was delicious, but everyone’s outfits were even more so, which is why we decided to document them thoroughly in a special edition of Office Apropos. Scroll down to see what we wore and hopefully glean some holiday party outfit ideas for yourself, office or otherwise.

Leandra

It was 62 degrees and raining–the kind of rain that makes you wonder how there is even so much wet in the sky–but nothing would stand in the way of a pair of neoprene leggings speckled with tiny discs making up the words CHA and NEL, logo notwithstanding, as paired with a navy blue wool jacket complete with white linen collar and some patent leather boots, of the same color family. I put this look together like a DIY sandwich at the breakfast bar last week when I went to Chanel for a fitting to borrow clothes for an event they were hosting on the same night as our holiday party, but later. So while technically speaking, this is my lewk, it is very much not my look, and when the clock struck 12 (the next day), every last bit of it went back in a garment bag and alas, I was a pumpkin again. I don’t know why I feel like I have to tell you this, but lo and behold. It me.

Crystal

I’m wearing this dress tucked into jeans because I love it so so much and couldn’t wait to wear it! I got it on super sale on Farfetch mainly because it reminds me of a Balenciaga runway dress that I yearned for back in the day! In my humble opinion, this is THE holiday ‘fit. If you invite me to a holiday situation,I suggest you make room for my balloon shoulders, starting now, because I’m definitely planning to wear it on repeat.

Harling

I was running late for a market appointment in the morning and a bit thrown off by the fact that it was supposed to be 60 degrees in mid-December, not to mention the challenge of putting together an outfit that was casual and functional enough for a regular day at the office and simultaneously festive enough that I could wear it to our holiday party at the end of the day without having to change or tweak anything. So! I tried on an uncharacteristic number of options before settling on this one. I was pleased with the results in that I felt like myself, albeit a slightly fancier version, but I’ll admit to being slightly jealous when I observed some of my colleagues upping their fancy factor x10. Therein lies the lesson for future Man Repeller office holiday shindigs: there’s no such thing as “overdressed.”

Eliz

Last year I remember trying on 10 different outfits until I decided on one I ultimately didn’t feel like myself in. I guess I don’t feel like myself in festive-wear in general. Something about dressing up doesn’t feel like me anymore, perhaps because when I think of an outfit, I think of what I’ll be doing in it, and a party isn’t my normal MO. If I can’t do a squat in my outfit I get kind of anxious! Luckily, this year’s decision-making process was more efficient, because I settled on my outfit in bed before getting up for the day. The dress is a new style from Viva Aviva, and I love it. I wore it with a fringe-y western cashmere sweater from Wolf & Badger, and tied it all together with red lipstick. I used to wear lipstick every day when I first started working at Man Repeller. I never, ever wear it anymore though, because it dries up and is just another thing to worry about. I paired this all with my everyday jewelry, knee highs and a pair of flats as I knew I’d be walking to the train station post-partay.

Jasmin

I pre-ordered these trousers in the summer and just got them when I went back home over Thanksgiving. I can’t wait to live in them over the holidays. They’re like a heavy, slinky knit, so I was both incredibly comfortable and perfectly poised to have not just seconds but thirds of the incredible roast chicken and mashed potatoes on the table. They also came with a matching boob tube (tube top?), but my shoulders were feeling chilly, so went with this black top instead.

Mallory

Picture a poodle who really needs to go outside to pee but desperately does not want to get wet, dramatically paused in the threshold of a doorway—that was my energy before leaving the house on this very rainy Tuesday morning. So I did what needed to be done: I quickly put together an outfit that would make me feel cozy and OK-ish during the day and could also be quickly turned into an outfit deemed “30% more festive” for our holiday party. If you’d seen me earlier, the silver skirt (actually a dress) would have been replaced by navy Dickies, and my tights and Mary Janes took the place of warm socks and sneakers. My only real complaint, given my emotional constraints in the morning, is that I’d prefer to have looked at night how I felt inside (100% festive).

Haley

Since my typical style is so casual, I sometimes have trouble “dressing up” without feeling like I’m wearing someone’s clothes, but these AYR trousers have rescued me from this predicament several times since I got them. I knew I was going to build an outfit around them in the morning—my thought was to go mostly black, since that feels inherently dressy to me, and when I realized this could be an opportunity to finally wear a new dickey from & Other Stories, the rest kind of followed. When I walked into the living room Avi said I looked like “if Diane Keaton were playing Han Solo.” I actually got three more Diane Keaton comparisons over the course of the day, which I consider the highest form of compliment!!!

Amalie

I woke up the morning of our holiday party and was like…. “I have the best holiday dress in the world that I scored from Shop Odessa Rae but it’s 50 shades of too much and I’m nervous.” I wrapped it in a garment bag with two alternate light-weight options and when I got to work I was certain I wasn’t going to wear it. BUT thank G I had that White Claw at 5 p.m. because the porty girl in me said “TODAY,” and I Wonder-Woman-ed into my Geena Davis couture. The shoes I scored from The RealReal a while back after realizing I had a shocking lack of party shoes in my wardrobe. And the face? Straight from my paternal Grandpa but I make it work.

Sabrina

This summer I was on a vintage hunt for the perfect LBD that was form fitting, fun, with a special detail. I picked up three on my first go and two of them were Betsey Johnson, which I loved—this being one of the two! As soon as I put it on, I knew it was meant to be–the ruffled lace trim detailing was that “something extra” I was looking for. I paired it with a blazer (because: winter) and my go-to everyday vintage boots.

Gyan

December is slowly becoming my favorite month of the year in New York, and I think holiday party outfits (or “hol-par ‘fits” as per my group chat) have a lot to do with it. This outfit felt like an appropriately festive iteration of my usual “pants and a top” uniform. These Isabel Marant pants were the only thing I bought during the Black Friday sales, and I plan on wearing them as many times as possible before the month ends.

Dasha

I bought this dress on sale several months ago and was saving it for a special occasion. I always love an all-over satin look and the polka dots make it less serious, perfect for pairing with sneakers.

Maggie

I’ve had this dress 5ever and never had a reason to bring it down from its designated spot on the wall (yes, clothes double as art in my apartment). UNTIL NOW. My aunt gave me this dress–she just so happens to own the coolest vintage clothing shop south of the Mason Dixon–and the pants are a hand-me-down from my mother. A true family affair!  The shoes wrap all the way up my leg, and I didn’t want them to be outshone by the dress, so with a little zhuzhing and bow-tying magic, they got to come out and play. Yes, I was probably overdressed. No, I do not regret it. Holiday parties are your time to shine, kid.

Mikaela

For this edition of Holiday Party regalia, I took a page from Harling’s recent assertion that monochrome is an instant way to make a statement “without exerting too much undue effort.” I don’t know what I’ve been buying over the last couple of years, but there is simply no party-ready festive wear in my closet: no velvet, no sparkles, not even an LBD. It’s an assumption to limit “festive wear” to those ingredients—I know, I hear ya!—but I still found myself struggling to think up something to wear. So I did what any girl in a bind would do and went straight for head-to-toe ballerina (haters will call it “millennial”) pink. This babydoll top is my pride and joy. According to the tag, it’s a vintage maternity top from the 1950’s, but all you need to know is that it has pockets.

Lorenza

I’ve been obsessed with the “urban cowboy” look forever and while aimlessly scrolling on Black Friday, I came across this beauty. No, it wasn’t on sale. Yes, I still bought it without hesitation. The color is gorgeous, and appropriately called “butter.” I’d been looking for a long sleeved maxi for the holidays anyway, and this baby not only hit the mark but also had me fantasizing about styling it open like a duster coat with loose jeans for a more casual look. Catch me out on the farm churning my own butter in this dress after the holidays.

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Photos by Bo Chapli.

The post Office Apropos: 14 Outfits We Wore to Our Holiday Party appeared first on Man Repeller.

How to Get Big, Fun Hair, No Matter What You’re Working With

When I look back on the history of my hair, there’s one very obvious recurring theme: the pursuit of volume. From the MySpace-inspired layers I cut into my box-dyed jet-black hair as a teen to the aughts pouf I potentially loved too much to the clip-in extensions I’d whip out of their box on Saturday nights at age 21, my hair goals have always revolved around bigness.

As an adult, my aspirations haven’t changed much: I’m still all about huge hair, despite having a texture that’s naturally quite the opposite. And there have been plenty of big-hair moments in the second-half of this decade to fuel my fire, from Solange on the cover of A Seat at the Table to Natasha Lyonne’s in Russian Doll. So the question of big hair is not “if” or “why” but “HOW”—and it’s a question that has a different answer for every hair texture.

So, I asked a handful of people on Team MR with varying textures—Harling, Mikaela, and Sabrina— to join me in handing our heads over to hairstylist Sergio Estrada so that he could walk us through the process step-by-step. Scroll on to see our makeovers, discover many a blow-dry hack, and absorb a not-so-subtle reminder that big hair is currently… bigger than ever.

 

When you have chunky loose curls and waves like Sabrina

To add Pantene-model level height and lightweight, bouncy volume to hair that’s prone to wiry frizz:

1. Apply a thickening spray to damp towel-dried hair. Sergio used Bumble and Bumble Thickening Go Big Volumizing Treatment.

2. With the nozzle attached, blow-dry hair. When drying the roots, direct air in the opposite direction to which your hair naturally falls e.g. on the right-side of your head, blow-dry hair upwards and over toward your left-side.

3. Blow out your ends with a round brush, pinning curls into a loop. If you’re not actually that handy with a hairdryer, you can use hot rollers here instead.

4. Once your curls have cooled, remove pins or rollers and gently comb your hair with your fingers or a soft brush.

5. Gently tease your roots on the top of your head and crown with a fine-tooth comb, then smooth any frizz.

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Why Sabrina will try this at home: This was a nice reminder that I can get a more polished look without sacrificing my natural volume or losing all my curls. I love my curly hair, but it’s nice to know I have the option of some variety.

When you have hair that’s curly and thick as a good diner milkshake, like Harling

To get huge hair without compromising the structure of your curls or damaging your most delicate strands:

1. After washing and towel-drying, apply a curl-defining product. (Harling personally recommends IGK Mistress Hydrating Hair Balm and Davines This is a Curl Building Serum, used together.)

2. With a diffuser on the end of your hairdryer, blow-dry your hair upside down to create volume while keeping your curls in tact.

3. Once fully dry, gently run a wide-tooth comb through your hair.

4. Finally, add dry shampoo or texture spray to your roots add balance to your bigness.

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Why Harling will try this at home: I like to do a big hair look when I’m nearing the end of my wash cycle (i.e. it’s been three or four days since I washed my hair) and the curls are starting to get tangled and flat, and I want to inject some life into them without undergoing the whole shampoo process just yet. Since I’m not a professional I usually just brush my hair out and embrace the shapeless frizz.

When you have fine, always-silky-straight hair like me

To add gritty texture and intentional messiness to soft and slippery hair:

1. Apply a texturizing spray to damp hair. Sergio used Bed Head Superstar Queen For A Day Thickening Spray.

2. Blow-dry with nozzle on a medium-heat setting until dry, focusing on your roots, which should be blown in the opposite direction to how they naturally fall. Finish your blowdry with a blast of cold hair to set.

3. Use a tong to curl your hair. Work in small sections, curling in alternating directions to create a natural look, rather than polished waves.

4. Gently comb through your curls with your fingers then finish with dry shampoo or texture spray. Tease sections with fingers to create a messy texture wherever you so desire it. (For me this was… basically everywhere.)

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Why I will try this at home: Despite my frustrations with my silky and fine hair, I do appreciate how easy it is to do in the morning. What I love about the look Sergio created is that it isn’t that much more work than my usual straight blow-dry—it’s just a few added tonged curls (done messily and easily!) and a couple of products. It feels like minimum effort for maximum payout.

When you have kinky textured 4C hair like Mikaela

To get the biggest and bounciest hair of your life without drying or damaging your ends or applying heat:

1. A few days after washing—Mikaela’s hair feels perfectly stretched out after five—sleep with your hair in flat twists, pinning the ends on the opposite side of your head to stretch it overnight.

2. The night before you want your Big Hair Moment, take out your twists and curl your hair into six or seven bantu knots, to create longer, bigger curls.

3. The next day, undo the bantu knots and use your fingers to gently separate the twists, slowly working in small sections into you can run your fingers through.

4. Combine a curl defining cream (Mikaela loves Twisted Sista Curl Activator Creme) and a little water into the palm of your hand, mix, then apply to your ends to add hydration and definition.

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Why Mikaela will try this at home: I always thought the secret to big voluminous hair was a cross your fingers and hope to the hair gods kind of thing, but I think strategically separating the twists is the real key! I’d love to try this home. This method gave me hope that I could revive even the worst of hair days

Photos by Mary Kang.

The post How to Get Big, Fun Hair, No Matter What You’re Working With appeared first on Man Repeller.

3 Date-Night Outfit Ideas Inspired by What’s on the Menu

What if every night were a theme party and the theme doubled as an answer to the age-old query, what’s for dinner? Okay, not every night, that sounds exhausting. But special-ish occasions! Date night occasions. In case you couldn’t tell, I’m on a radical mission to harmoniously marry my sartorial and culinary tastes. Put simply: I want to match my date-night outfits to what I’m having for dinner.

I know this sounds absurd, or at the very least unnecessary, but hear me out. I’m not planning on wearing a lobster costume to a clambake anytime soon (first of all, it’s not seasonal, and second of all, I don’t own a lobster costume). It’s a little less literal than that: Like an experienced chef, I’m keen to stew seemingly disparate ingredients in my closet into an outfit as delicious as what I’m about to eat. If I can align my appearance with my tastebuds, I’ve got a dress code that I can rely on when my sartorial imagination is failing me, and I invite you to join me in this initiative, too! We can turn any restaurant into a veritable costume ball and leave bland-black-dress date night looks behind.

Goodbye piles of discarded outfit options on the floor! Goodbye paltry handfuls of almonds my husband is forced to eat while he waits for me to get ready! I’ll now be sauntering out the door on time for our reservation, looking like an aperitivo.

A Spicy Ensemble for High-Temp Hot Wings

On any given date night, there’s a high likelihood that my husband and I can be found splitting a plate of Chonqing chicken wings at Mission Chinese Food or dipping little bundles of sticky rice into Thai basil stir fry at Uncle Boon’s Sister. Both these dishes are almost completely made up of chilis (Sichuan and Thai bird, respectively), and the two of us are unabashed spice fanatics. As of late, I’m less interested in finding a cure for my chronic heartburn and more interested in finding outfits that mimic the heat of these dishes I so adore. Here’s how that figures: any type of animal print is decidedly spicy, and a heaping of sparkles on top functions as an extra crack of fresh pepper. A splash of shocking blue tulle peeking out from underneath the whole affair ensures that I won’t feel upstaged by the heat of my meal.

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Sartorial Froth for Your Holiday Feasts

#2: The bevvy of holiday dinners on the horizon brings with it the mouthwatering promise of braised short ribs and mashed potatoes chased down with a glass of eggnog. And there’s really no ladylike way to say this, but sometimes a lady wants to indulge in these pleasures without feeling confined by a stiff pair of high-waisted jeans. And you know whose clothes allow them to eat and relax with complete freedom? Babies. While a onesie might not be appropriate for a celebratory dinner with your loved ones, a festive night out is a great time to take a cue from a really fancy baby, like, say, the 17th century Infanta Margarita Teresa. A frilly double-collar situation will have you feeling suitably dressed up, while a babydoll silhouette allows you to comfortably enjoy an ungodly amount of Parker House rolls. Plus, it just makes sense to indulge in a rich, buttery feast while dressed as the visual equivalent of… well… a rich, buttery princess. If you need help throwing a tantrum, you’ll find me tucking into a plate of malfatti at Cafe Altro Paradiso, bow affixed to my head and ready to stir up some royal trouble. We can stop for cannolis on the way home.

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Glorified Pajamas to Go Hand-in-Hand With Glorious Tofu

#3: On nights when the thought of braving the cold is too much to bear, I’m inclined to do date night at home. I’ll crack open a bottle of chilled red or this nectar-of-the-gods sparkling water (“fancy water,” as it is known in my house) and whip up a little something special. Or I’ll scrap that idea and just order in–it’s been a long week. This is hands-down my favorite way to unwind and reconnect with my husband. An outfit to match takeout needs to be easy and carefree but still dressed-up enough to justify the fact that you’re spending money on dinner instead of just heating up the quart of soup lingering in your fridge. My beloved lime-green sweatpants, which I hope read as fun and unexpected in the outside world, feel too schlubby worn with slippers for a date night at home. Instead of reinventing the wheel-known-as-comfy-pants, I’ve been leaning into the idea of thematically dressing for a night in. That means slumber-party-worthy matching pajamas dolled up with hair accessories and cute socks. I’m as warm and cozy as my favorite comfort food (Mapo tofu), but I also feel formal enough to justify using the fancy chopsticks.

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So there you have it: with a little imagination and the right menu, the world is your oyster. Or rather, the world is your seafood tower, and your attire is inspired by the cold gleam of an oyster shell. Whatever. Can I interest anyone in coffee or dessert?

Photos by Ruby Redstone.

The post 3 Date-Night Outfit Ideas Inspired by What’s on the Menu appeared first on Man Repeller.

A Maximalist on the Undeniable Power of Taking Up Space

As a New Yorker, my relationship to maximalism is complex. On one hand, there’s an urge to fade into anonymity within the sea of head-to-toe monochromatic black outfits that populate our city, but on the other hand, New York is also home to a culture based around being extra. I’ve rarely ever succeeded in fading into the background—in middle school, my backpack was a Feministing tote with a woman giving the finger on it—but I haven’t always felt comfortable wearing color. In fact, there were many years in which my wardrobe consisted only of black. (Maybe I was self-conscious or maybe I was afraid of being mistaken for a tourist.)

The truth is that maximalism, both as an aesthetic movement and a way of life, has often been reserved for a select few. Plus-sized people are told to avoid patterns, bright colors, or anything “oversized.” Black women are sent home from school and chastised in the workplace for wearing certain hairstyles. LGBTQ+ folks often face pressure to “pass” or adhere to style choices that fit a narrow set of respectability politics. The faces of maximalist fashion trends on runways have historically belonged to thin, white, cisgender women, and the people that our society encourages to express themselves maximally have typically been straight, white, cisgender men. This pressure to shrink oneself, to live and express oneself minimally, is unhelpful at best and insidious at worst—its impact can be found in everything from diet culture and disordered eating, to the pleasure gap that exists between men and women. So, how can we reclaim our space and learn to move through the world as our best, biggest, and loudest versions of ourselves? This is what we’ll dive into this Thursday during a Good Evening panel discussion at MR HQ with Brittany Brathwait, Sesali Bowen, Arabelle Sicardi, and Laura Delerato.

I have a career that I want, I have the sex that I want, I have the partners that I want, my friends are the shit… I’m booked and busy.

For Brittany, reproductive justice activist and co-founder of KIMBRITIVE, learning to take up space requires embracing “abundance over scarcity—with the understanding that I’m never too much.” But Brittany hasn’t always found this approach easy. “It’s taken a long time for me to understand that my taking up space, with my hips, my voice, or my ideas, isn’t taking anything from anyone else,” she says. And her fear of overwhelming others is extremely relatable. For those of us who have been socialized as girls, it’s common to hear messaging that we must put the needs of others before our own. Former senior entertainment editor at Nylon and cultural influencer Sesali is an amazing example of how we can learn to center our lives around not just our own needs, but our own joy. “I live a very full life,” Sesali says. “I have a career that I want, I have the sex that I want, I have the partners that I want, my friends are the shit… I’m booked and busy. The more full my life got, the more space I needed and at some point I realized I couldn’t feel bad about that.”

My own journey toward maximalism didn’t follow a straight line, and for me, it started at the gym. When I got into weight lifting after college, I quickly noticed some pretty intense gender dynamics. The weights section at my gym was populated mainly by men, and as a small, female-presenting person, I found myself being literally squeezed out of the area. It wasn’t just dirty looks or the fact that dudes would steal my weights while I paused for a sip of water—it was the feeling that I was invisible that made me feel unwelcome.

At first, I was embarrassed, and all I wanted to do was shrink further into the background, ditch my weights, and never come back. Eventually, however, the experience fired me up, and became part of the inspiration for Body Politic, a queer feminist wellness collective I founded in 2018 to try to create safe spaces for marginalized folks in the fitness and wellness worlds. I started seeking out more welcoming spaces to exercise, and I also slowly ditched my all-black wardrobe for the most obnoxious workout clothes you’ve ever seen. If you catch me in the weights section of this gym today, I’ll probably be wearing polka dot leggings and a “They Power” t-shirt while I listen to my “you got this” playlist—because when all else fails, Lizzo, Cardi, and Alanis always have my back.

Putting on patterns and shapes I’ve been told are reserved for body types unlike my own, or outfits that loudly merge traditionally feminine and masculine elements makes me feel both in charge and unique.

There’s something about dressing myself up in a bold look that makes me feel safer. Beauty writer Arabelle also likes to take up space through self-adornment. “Getting my makeup done by my friend Slater is one of the surefire ways to drag me out of a bad mood and helps me take up space in my body. Getting a new tattoo is also one of my top three favorite sensations,” they said.

For women, LGBTQ+ folks, people of color, and other marginalized populations who have historically been barred from controlling their own bodies, it can feel electrifying to reclaim that power via fashion, makeup, and body modification. Writer, creative producer, and body image activist Laura uses fashion to proudly affirm her identity. “I find ways through my personal style to purposely call attention to the fact that I am a plus-size woman living a successful life, so that others in my community know they can do the same,” Laura says. “It’s a daily maximalism, and it makes me special.”

Before we kick off the conversation in collaboration with Body Politic at Man Repeller HQ on Thursday, I want to encourage you to take a moment to stop and consider the ways you can reclaim space in your own lives. When do you feel your biggest, loudest, and proudest? What parts of your life make you feel like you’re living abundantly? What does expressing yourself maximally mean to you?

Graphics by Lorenza Centi.

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