Leandra Medine's Blog, page 60

How to Never Carry a Bag in the Winter: An Aggressive Pocket Experiment

I’m always carrying an offensive number of bags. Two strung on each shoulder, one slung across my chest, another cutting off circulation to my fingers—I’m like a walking coat rack but make it diagnosed with peripheral vascular disease. And why? For what! I’d like to blame New York (the need for a surplus of totes was the second thing I learned when I moved here), but I suspect the problem is me. I’m not planning properly, or I’m planning too much, and my boyfriend, whom I ask to mercifully rip out my lower back muscles at least once per day, is paying the emotional toll.

Last spring I started documenting my strap-laden getups on Instagram. “Am I carrying enough bags?” I asked in each caption. In return, people started sending me their own bag photos with the same question, and as has become tradition, our answers to each other are always “no.” It’s never enough bags. Never! But if I’m being honest, it is enough. It’s always enough. And if we’d like to retain the ability to look up into the sky as retired old ladies, it’s far more than enough.

So it is with joy in my heart muscle and caffeine in my unblocked veins that I tell you there’s another way. Because we are three months into fall and 11 days away from winter and that means we are wrist-if-not-elbow deep in pocket season. Big pocket season. A little layering and market strategy and our days of never having a free hand can be behind us. Winter comes with all kinds of inconveniences, but this isn’t one of them. Below, for your sake and for mine, I’ve proven the lengths one can go to forgo a bag entirely when it’s cold out. A scientific celebration of the unsung upside of winter.

Bagless Winter Day #1: Keep It Lite

Items carried: keys, phone, wallet, tinted lip balm, headphones

I decided to start off with what we in the tampon biz call a lite day. All I’m carrying are the essentials—entry to my home, access to the internet, formal identification, something for my dry lips, and the ability to block out the sounds of my location and species. Still, there are days when I’d consider this enough to warrant a bag, which is why this is an important exercise. Here I’m not employing any trickery: I’m just wearing a standard winter coat with two front pockets. I also layered a cardigan with a small pocket underneath, but I could have just used the storage available in my pants.

Tips:

-Before buying a winter coat, make sure the pockets are roomy, secure, and easily accessible.

-Favor cardigans with pockets over those without.

-Call your mom.

Bagless Winter Day #2: No, You Still Don’t Need a Bag

Items carried: keys, phone, wallet, tinted lip balm, headphones, book, sunglasses, gloves

With the addition of a book, some spare glasses, and a pair of gloves, this is a more typical winter haul for me. The book is key—to me it’s often the straw that breaks the camel’s bagless attempt (I’m the camel). But accommodating this load wasn’t actually challenging at all. I favored a reversible jacket, i.e. one that has outside and inside pockets, and layered it over a denim jacket that’s famous in my closet for having lots of storage (a quality of many denim coats, actually). This getup felt great. Literally bury me in outerwear with a pocket that fits a book; there is nothing better.

Tips:

-Double pockets are an underrated feature of reversible jackets. If you have one, make use of both sides!

-Look for a denim jacket with inside pockets—they’re super common and will work for you in the summer as well.

-Layer these over each other and revel in your compartmental genius.

Bagless Winter Day #3: Roving Bodega

Items carried: keys, phone, wallet, tinted lip balm, headphones, book, sunglasses, gloves, iPad, phone charger, hand lotion, reusable bag, nail polish, non-tinted lip balm

Maybe so far you’ve been rolling your eyes—you forgo a bag all the time! What’s the big deal! To which I ask: Have you ever carried so much stuff you had to name one pocket your “beauty vertical”? My final frontier in this experiment involved such a gaggle of items I kept forgetting where things were. You can call that an occupational hazard of being an expert in the field, but it’s worth the freedom. To accommodate this many items I had to “shop for the pocket”—i.e. choose garments for the specific (gigantic) size of their pockets. This cargo jumpsuit and puffer coat had such big ones (and little, clever ones) I wanted to shake the hands of their designers. In the end, storing this stuff was a winter’s breeze.

Tips:

-If you’re a freak for a hands-free lifestyle, shop specifically for cold-weather garments with huge pockets.

-To make extra room for things, consider a smartphone necklace (no spoilers but I do plan to debut this one as my winter necklace…).

-Wait 30 minutes after eating before swimming in these pockets.

Are you convinced? What bagless hacks are up your voluminous sleeve? I’m ready to be impressed.

6 PHOTOS
click for more

Photos by Franey Miller.

The post How to Never Carry a Bag in the Winter: An Aggressive Pocket Experiment appeared first on Man Repeller.

What’s a “Gut Feeling,” Really? (And What Is It Telling You?)

Go with your gut. Trust your instincts. Find your true north. Regardless of the vernacular, we love to romanticize intuition. The feeling, which some call “a deep knowing,” is characterized by understanding something with little to no explanation. It’s why some people avoid specific alleyways, why others turn down seemingly perfect jobs, or why two lovers marry after six months: They just know.

But what about the times when we don’t have that level of clarity? What if we ask our intuition for guidance and get nothing, or worse, conflicting answers? Is it as simple as looking inward? How does one begin to decipher something so illogical and yet so crucial?

These questions once consumed me. A little over a year ago, I was debating whether to stay in what felt like a seemingly toxic relationship. Breaking up sounded horrible, but the thought was always there—and a passive-aggressive fight over dishes was enough to send me spiraling. Somewhere, something told me that the relationship just wasn’t right. But this feeling was quieter than anxiety—a low hum of a household dryer as opposed to a shrieking kettle—and thus hard to trust. Over time, it downright tormented me.

Intuition became my obsession. I wanted to know whether the voice I was hearing was fear, anxiety, my gut, or something else.

In talking through the predicament with a friend, she asked, “What does your gut say?” Though well-intentioned, the question led to a different type of torment. Intuition became my obsession. I wanted to know whether the voice I was hearing was fear, anxiety, my gut, or something else. I talked to my therapist and consulted research-backed articles. I spoke to psychics. I looked for signs and read books. I read this MR article. I pulled tarot cards, and everything led me back to the same conclusion: My relationship was not working. But this terrified me, and I so badly wanted to prove it wrong, a contradiction of emotions that fueled my anxiety, making it more difficult to take action.

On paper, intuition is delightfully spooky. The textbook definition is “being able to understand something immediately, without any conscious reasoning.” That means no pro-con lists, no asking your friends for guidance—you just know. The feeling is sometimes difficult to distinguish from fear, which is defined as “an unpleasant emotion caused by the belief that someone or something is dangerous, likely to cause pain, or a threat.” Though technically quite different, both feelings stem from a place of protection, and can be experienced in similar ways.

This complicates things, because heeding intuition is lauded while heeding fear is criticized. So how can you tell the difference? Am I leaving because I’m afraid? I wondered. Or because it’s the right thing to do?

From there my quest to understand intuition deepened. I dove headfirst into the science and psychology behind this mysterious feeling. Luckily, I had plenty to draw upon; gut feelings are having a major moment. Everyone from psychics to scientists have attempted to demystify intuition, and there is considerable interest in intuitive decisions within the worlds of philosophical psychology and entrepreneurship as well.

In 2016, psychologists at the University of New South Wales in Australia ran a series of experiments in an effort to quantify intuition, analyzing how much “nonconscious emotional information” dictates our decision-making. Not only did the study illustrate that intuition increases your accuracy in interpreting an outcome, it also revealed that, similar to using logic or reason, we become better at using our intuition over time.

Francis Cholle, CEO and Founder of The Human Company, is especially fascinated by how intuitive decision making can lead to better business. In his book, The Intuitive Compass, Cholle discusses how intuition can be used to help companies weather change. He posits that the best way to reintegrate intuition is to have a dialogue with it—to pay attention to our random, seemingly nonsensical hunches that tell us when something is wrong, when to call a friend, or even when to wear a certain outfit. One can strengthen this dialogue by journaling, getting quiet, or finding solitude.

I inhaled Cholle’s advice. Eventually, the gut feeling regarding my relationship became too strong to ignore, and my ex and I painfully went our separate ways. But once I was out of the relationship, like clockwork, I worried that it had been the wrong decision to leave, and strived to rekindle that sense of knowing that led me to end the relationship in the first place. Shouldn’t I, someone who journaled, meditated, and researched the fuck out of intuition, have more clarity by now?

If anxiety is a shrieking three-year-old, intuition is a hushed grandmother knitting in the corner.

Apparently not; obsessing over intuition can make it more difficult to distinguish. According to the Association for Psychological Science, intuitive performance plummets in the midst of anxiety—something especially common before or after one makes a big decision. This explains why it can be harder to hear our intuition during moments of crisis. We’re so obsessed with making “the right choice” that we become overwhelmed with thoughts and options, and are then cut off from our gut instincts. If anxiety is a shrieking three-year-old, intuition is a hushed grandmother knitting in the corner.

Researchers hypothesize that this may be connected to self-confidence, as feelings of fear, doubt, and anxiety make it harder to trust ourselves. Listening to your intuition (ironically) goes deeper than simply observing your feelings, because the emotions we have in response to our guts can muddle up the process. In my case, I was having fearful reactions to the intuitive thought that ending the relationship was the right thing to do. So how exactly does one tell the difference?

“The voice of your intuition is neutrality,” says Jessica Lanyadoo on her show Ghost of a Podcast. “You might have a fear crop up immediately after you have an intuitive insight, but intuition is neutral.”

In other words, our intuition is steady and rational, while our responses to it might not be. Important decision-making, like debating whether to take a job or call an ex, might also spur anxiety, which can ultimately separate from the calm hum of intuitive thought. In these cases, it might be best to take action and know that intuition will come when and where it needs to.

One of the best pieces of advice I’ve ever received on this topic was from a therapist when I was making a difficult professional decision. “Sometimes 70 percent is enough,” she said. The words were like a life raft pulling me to a shore where uncertainty was okay. “Often times, you won’t get a full-blown yes to saying something is right for you. You get an inkling.”

I agree that Cholle’s advice to journal, get quiet, and find solitude are beneficial in soliciting mindfulness, but I also believe that obsessing over a sense of “knowing” may keep us at a standstill. My quest for intuition revealed my burning desire for certainty—something that doesn’t always exist. We may not ever be a 100 percent sure about a decision, but if we’re 70, even 51 percent, that’s okay too. It’s not about having all of the answers, but rather using the information we have to make the best decisions we can.

Graphics by Coco Lashar

The post What’s a “Gut Feeling,” Really? (And What Is It Telling You?) appeared first on Man Repeller.

The Results Are In: Meet the Winner of Man Repeller’s 2019 Fleece Bracket

How do we navigate the high-pile terrain of a world that has reached Peak Fleece? This was the question on my mind the day I conceived of “The Battle of the Fleeces,” Man Repeller’s first-annual (and possibly last-annual) fleece bracket. Created to gauge the prevailing attitudes toward the Patagonia-inspired outerwear species and render the market less chaotic, I wondered if, with the help of my friends and an athletic strategy, I could help lead us toward one true object of desire. The results? Chilling. Exhilarating. Revealing. December madness!

The fleece tournament started with combing through webpages upon webpages of fleece jackets, keeping an eye out for top contenders in department stores and in passing. In the end I found so many you could wear a different one every week for the next two years. Which is to say: The primaries of this bracket were fierce. As they often say in college admissions offices, I could have filled the available slots with qualified candidates multiple times over.

I culled the selection down to four categories or, in the language of brackets, “conferences.” These conferences—Under $100, Marsupials, Deep Pockets (both literal and figurative), and Festivity Fleece—each included eight nominees.

The Conferences

Under $100: These days fleeces run the gamut of “affordability”—I saw a few priced like Macbook Airs, though they more often hovered around the $130 range. Fleeces that dipped below $100 were few and far between, but reflected some of the most popular tastes (like a Patagonia classic, a popular J.Crew number, some normcore-ish Everlane, and a swanky J.W. Anderson x Uniqlo piece). *One disclaimer: some of these prices have fluctuated following the Black Friday/Cyber Monday sales.

Patagonia


Lands' End


J.W. Anderson x Uniqlo


Gap


Everlane


Madewell


J.Crew


Everlane


See All 8

Marsupials: The marsupial pocket is one of Patagonia’s signature fleece features that has rubbed off on other brands (though, when you really think about it, most hoodie sweatshirts have marsupial pockets). Here, all of the fleeces designed to make you look like the birth mother of Kangaroo Jack find comfort in one conference together. Some unforeseen drama goes down when two Outdoor Voices fleeces face off in the second round. Nike could have also qualified for this conference.

Outdoor Voices


Outdoor Voices


Champion x UO


OnlyNY


NOAH


Snow Peak


Polo Ralph Lauren


Marcelo Burlon


See All 8

Deep Pockets: This conference recognizes the variety of ways pockets find purpose in the fleece universe. Much to my delight, pocket-centric designs often lean in the direction of abstract expressionism and color field painting. Others that could’ve qualified for this conference include: Tory Sport (I wear this one on winter walks to the gym), Aimé Leon Dore, Napapijri, MM6, Kenzo, And Wander, The North Face and Polo Ralph Lauren. This conference has a parent: I believe its origin story begins with Patagonia’s Synchilla Snap-T pullover, she of the Under $100 conference, if not the Classic Retro-X Fleece Jacket.

Sandy Liang


House of Sunny


H2OFagerholt


Baum Und Pferdgarten‎


Best Made Co.


Donni


Penfield


Carhartt WIP


See All 8

Festivity Fleece: Considered the “wildcard” conference, this one includes all of the fleeces that really go out on a limb and shake up the definition of what a fleece can be. Others that could have qualified for this conference include: MISBHV, John Elliott’s patchwork vest, Marine Serre, Off-White, Citizen Vintage, Only NY and Burberry.

John Elliott


Stussy


Patagonia


Marni


Veronica Beard


Buscemi


Brunello Cucinelli


True Grit


See All 8


The Bracket

I wanted to keep the story under wraps, clandestine, but also didn’t want to determine the outcome with only my point of view, so I set up a wide-ranging Close Friends tab on Instagram and conducted the tournament there. Over the course of five rousing rounds of voting on factors like wearability and aesthetic appeal, about 70 people weighed in. Some were fleece novices, others fleece experts, but they all shared one quality: A firm perspective on matters of taste.

Before I share the winner, some hard truths about fleece: It’s a synthetic material, and the cheaper the fleece, the more likely that it will spew microplastics into the water stream by way of a laundry machine. Here’s the unsung upshot of a fleece bracket: By thoroughly evaluating 32 fleeces, you can whittle down your options to the one that speaks to you, heightening your chances of making a conscious shopping decision. You could also buy through Patagonia’s WornWear program, which repairs and flips used Patagonia merchandise (one of the bracket’s top contenders was a classic Synchilla Snap-T pullover, made available via the trade-in system). If you’re going to buy one of these fleeces, I hope you plan to wear it forever.

As all tournaments do, this competition came down to two fleeces, tied at a 50/50 split until one person, a comedian featured in this story, voted with a buzzer beater that determined the bracket’s trajectory.

From the funfetti-cake appeal of John Elliott’s zip-up to Patagonia’s product styling that occasionally transforms outerwear into the form of a child’s car-seat, enjoy the emotional rollercoaster below that is Man Repeller’s 2019 Battles of the Fleeces bracket. And, in acknowledgement of all of those who have come before me, let it be known that I sometimes refer to Man Repeller in my head as Fashion Grantland.

Graphics by Edith Young; Feature photos via Sandy Liang.

The post The Results Are In: Meet the Winner of Man Repeller’s 2019 Fleece Bracket appeared first on Man Repeller.

The Word of the Year Is “Existential,” So Here Are 75 of Our Headiest Stories

Word got around the Man Repeller office this morning that Dictionary.com recently announced its 2019 word of the year, and that word was “existential.” This news was shared in our channel reserved for “wins,” and although the choice reflects our complicated times, it still felt like cause for celebration on our little corner of Slack.

In addition to overusing the words “sartorial” and “zeitgeist,” we’re famous in this group text thread for having the unique ability to take  things (like, all things—breakups, birthdays, pants) to an existential place, sometimes unnecessarily. So, in honor of our fondness for the word of the year, we’ve decided to cull a bunch of our headiest, most introspective content for your (and also our own) perusal. Let’s call it The Man Repeller Syllabus for Being Alive.

Thanks for hanging around all this time while we made it, we couldn’t exist without you.

Times We Got Existential by Accident

Open Thread: How Do You Choose Your Side of the Bed?

Is It Just Me or Is Fashion Getting Really Streamlined?

What’s FaceApp Really Getting At?

There are Two Types of People: Those Who Knock on Bathroom Doors and Those Who Jiggle the Handle

“Over the next two days, I launched an Instagram-wide investigation into normative cuddling behavior. To my surprise, I got hundreds of responses almost instantly. Suddenly my DM inbox was jam-packed with the adorable details of people’s private cuddling habits. It was like I’d stumbled upon the secret lives of spooners. I can’t say with categorical certainty that this topic is inherently pure, but conducting this research was a shot of joy to the heart.”

—Haley Nahman (hi), The Secret Lives of Big and Little Spoons: A Cuddling Investigation

The Writing Advice That’s Secretly Really Good Life Advice

There Are Two Kinds of People in This World: “Thank You” People and “Sorry” People

Why Are My Morning Lattes Starting to Taste Like Milkshakes?

Learning to Plan for Next Year, Right Now

I Took 30 Days of Mirror Selfies and Processed a Lot of Feelings

If You Haven’t Heard of “Hopepunk,” Allow Me to Gently Introduce You

Leandra’s Motherhood Triptych

2016: The Baby I Lost, the Person I’m Finding

2017: A Different Kind of Pregnancy Announcement

2018: I’m Days Away From Giving Birth and Terrified

Proof That Growing Up Hurts (Then Feels Really Good)

Welcome to Your 30s, They Said

Taking Hormones and Teaching My Body a New Language at 29

Getting Lost in Thought So I Can Find Myself

3 Women on What They’ve Learned in Their 70+ Years of Life

Why Doesn’t Anybody Feel Like an Adult Anymore?

I Think I’m Too Young to Feel This Wistful About My Past

Turning 29 Is Like a Second Puberty, Astrologically Speaking

“Accepting your own mediocrity is a kind of small death—you are waving goodbye to the life you might have had, one in which you got to sing ’99 Luftballons; with your college acapella group (I dream big). But it also opens a window to something arguably better: the soft, warm bath of ease, the freedom to do a thing just because you really like it. Just because it feels good.”

—Meghan Nesmith, The Radical Act of Embracing Your Own Mediocrity

Was Glamorizing Mistakes…a Mistake?

Do You Have to Leave Your Hometown to Grow Up?

12 People on the Advice That Changed Their Life

I’m Nostalgic for the Teenage Luxury of Feeling All My Feelings

T he Myth of the One Thing That Will Change Your Life

On Life, Death, and the Heady Stuff In-Between

My Bad Acid Trip Taught Me Everything and Nothing

Why I Stopped Trying to “Solve” My Feelings

Unconventional Life Hack: Remind Yourself You’re Going to Die

(p.s. I still recommend this app!)

Why If You Already Are Your Best Self?

Can You Lead a Meaningful Life Without Taking Any Risks?

The Lie I Used to Tell Myself About Time

(p.s. this was a Writers Club winner!)

What Really Matters? 5 Older Women Weigh In

Why Do I Love to Feel Blue?

I Have a Complicated Relationship With Happiness

What a Brush With Death Taught Me About Control

If You Can’t Find a Purpose, Just Find a Reason

I Think I Might Be Better on the Internet Than in Real Life

Are You Happy?

Times We Wrestled With Our Physical Forms

Shame: An Explainer

(P.s. our whole office sent this to everyone we knew)

I Thought I’d Be Cool About Aging. I Was Wrong

Why Do I Feel the Need to “Look Good”?

What I Realized About My Self-Esteem Problem

“When I’ve put in the work—and it is work—to get comfortable with myself, feeling defeated by something so small can make my self-esteem feel like a house of cards. I’ve spent too many years of my life letting my body insecurities get in the way of enjoying the limited perks of the summer season (team fall!). And yet, I know feelings don’t always follow the soundest of logic, so as summer draws nearer, I felt compelled to scream this out into the internet void in case anyone else experiencing summer-induced body panic wants to join me.”

—Nora Taylor, This Is the Summer I Make Piece With My Stretch Marks

I Had a Hard Month, But You Wouldn’t Know It From My Mirror Selfies

How to Talk Yourself Down From a Self-Esteem Spiral

After 28 Years, I Still Don’t Know What I Look Like

When Questions About Love Are Actually About Life

When You Want Kids, But Your Partner Doesn’t

Why I Ended a Happy Relationship

(p.s. almost three years later, I still get DMed about this story about once per week)

I Asked Hundreds of People How They Feel About Being Single

Why Is Marriage Still the Default Metric of Relationship Success?

The Silver Lining of Unrequited Love

At 30, I’ve Never Been in a Serious Relationship—and That’s Okay

Related: A Little Series I Like to Call “Is It Wrong?”

Is It Wrong to Have a Crush While in a Relationship?

Is It Wrong to Want to Change Your Partner?

Is It Wrong to Think a Relationship Will Complete Me?

The Mushiest Advice We’ve Ever Given

Ask MR: I’ve Taken a Leap and Can’t Find My Footing. What Do I Do?

Ask MR: Does Where I Live Have to Define Me?

Ask MR: I Feel Undesirable. What Do I Do?

Ask MR: I’m Freaking Out About My Future

Ask MR: Am I a Narcissist or Just Vain? (a special round wherein Leandra answers her own question)

Ask MR: How Do I Reach My Highest Potential?

Ask MR: I’ve Only Had One Romantic Partner. Am I Missing Out?

Ask MR: What If I Never Amount to Anything?

Ask MR: I Don’t Like the Person I’ve Become. Is It Too Late?

The Essays We Wrote Post-Existential Crisis

How Can I Know Myself If I’m Constantly Changing?

Changing My Life Didn’t Change Me as Much as I Thought It Would

Why I’m Finally Letting Go of the Pressure to Be Something I’m Not

Does Everyone Have a Friendship Complex, or Just Me?

Peak Maturity: Accepting That You’re a Cliché

“We repeat stories about ourselves to make sense of our worlds. The stories I’ve always told about who I am—that I don’t take risks, that I’m the good daughter, that I’m the uncomplicated girlfriend, that I have to look a certain way to be happy, that the shape of my future is not only obvious but inevitable—sound strangely discordant now, as if out of tune with my current self. But even though I’m starting to discern what I’m not, I still can’t pinpoint what I am. That’s what makes me think I never knew in the first place.”

—Harling Ross, The Unique Anxiety of Outgrowing the Life I Built for Myself

Learning to Be Less Cynical Is Helping My Anxiety

What Happens When You Grow Up Twice?

I Definitely Overthought This Essay About Overthinking

Feature graphic by Louisiana Mei Gelpi.

The post The Word of the Year Is “Existential,” So Here Are 75 of Our Headiest Stories appeared first on Man Repeller.

When the DM Slide Actually Works: 4 Couples Who Met on Instagram

My first meet-cute happened in 2010, in a crowded bar on the Upper West Side.

I’d been trying to flag down a bartender—and apparently, the guy next to me had been too. That’s how our elbows collided, at which point I spun around to chastise the culprit. But before I could, he smiled, and minutes later, we’d both abandoned our posts at the counter to duck into a walk-in freezer—the only place quiet enough to hold a conversation—where his glasses frosted over like a car windshield in January.

I’m grateful there’s no transcript of our first exchange; I’m pretty sure my only contributions were about as scintillating as, “uh, yeah,” and “uh, no,” and “pizza, I guess?” Many of today’s daters don’t have it as easy: Since the 2019 meet-cute so often occurs on dating apps, initial conversations can be captured via screenshot and stored indefinitely. And while not expressly created for matchmaking, Instagram, with its billion-plus monthly users, provides yet another venue for the virtual equivalent of a coffee shop run-in: the DM slide.

In internet-speak, “sliding into” someone’s Instagram DMs—a.k.a., sending a private message—typically implies romance, or at least some lust (Yo Gotti’s 2016 album The Art of Hustle explains repeatedly that “it goes down in the DM”). Occasionally, the slide will go unanswered. But sometimes, miraculously, it works.

I spoke with four couples who were united via DM how meeting through Instagram turned into something more. I asked who slid into whose DMs first, which emojis were involved, and how it all worked out in the end. And yes, I requested the transcripts.

The “I’m Going to Be in Your Town” Approach

Angela, 29, and Noble, 32, have been together for 1.5 years. They live in Minneapolis, MN.

The First DMs:

Angela: I submitted a personal ad to @_personals_ (a queer, submission-based Instagram account) with the headline “DIY Dyke ISO Sue Perkins.” At first Noble just thirst-followed me, and then a week later they slid into my DMs.

Noble’s first DM: It was something along the lines of, “I hope you don’t mind getting a message from a stranger, but I loved your personal ad, and I’m coming to MN in six weeks for a conference—what do you think about getting a drink?”

Angela’s reply: “Why would I mind getting a message from a stranger? That’s what my personal was for; soliciting messages from strangers. Yes to drinks.” (And then we messaged nonstop from that point on.)

Initial Impressions:

Noble: I had seen Angela’s personal ad, but I was coming off a run of disappointing romantic scenarios, and I wasn’t super sure that it was a good idea to strike something up with someone far away. So I’m not sure what finally led me to send the message—except that it was Sunday-Funday, and I was many mimosas deep! I certainly didn’t expect anything serious to develop based on that first message. I do remember being surprised that she was so willing to have a full-on conversation. If anything, I suppose I thought she would message back like: “Okay, cool, yeah, message me when you’re in town.”

Angela: I was pleasantly surprised to receive the DM! I replied because I was open to new relationships with new folks, and for a bit of an adventure. That’s certainly what I got. I was always prepared for it to fail. I got my own Airbnb in Austin when I went to visit Noble for the first time, I told them if they didn’t like me or the way I smell or how tall I am, that they could just leave me there and I was ready to have a great time in Austin by myself.

What’s Happened Since:

Noble: Since that first message, everything has happened! I quit my job, changed careers, and moved to Minneapolis to be with Angela. We’ve had plenty of ups and downs both as a long-distance couple and now as a newly cohabiting couple, but one of our strengths is our foundation in strong, direct, and open communication. We had to build that intentionally while we were long distance, when talking was really all we had for stretches of time.

Angela: Since the first DM, Noble has been open, curious, kind, and intelligent, so everything seemed to flow and progress from feeling like you have a middle-school crush to thinking this might actually be the real deal. Now, our relationship is growing. I hear there’s an engagement ring in my future.

Noble: We talk about our DMs all the time! One time we scrolled all the way back, through probably thousands of messages, just to see how everything unfolded. We still communicate through IG sometimes, but not nearly as much. Sometimes Angela shows me queer chefs or whoever she has crushes on, and I love that! It’s important to us to set reasonable boundaries and operate from a place of trust. And that’s pretty easy, from my perspective—after all, IG is the way we met, but everything else about our relationship is all us—all this beautiful, constantly evolving thing we’re building together.

The “Haven’t I Seen You at the Gym?” Move

Cate and Spencer, both 26, have been together for 3 years. They live in New York City.

The First DMs:

Cate: “You workout at EBC?” (We both worked out at this gym in Chicago called East Bank Club, aka EBC. How all great love stories begin….)

Spencer: “Yeah I do! How’d you know?”

Cate: “You came up on my ‘Suggested People to Follow’ thing, and I thought you looked familiar. My best friend and I just joined and we’re looking for EBC friends.” (This was such a lie. It took me six months to tell him the truth!)

Spencer: “Oh nice, I thought you might’ve looked familiar. How often do you two go to East Bank?”

Initial Impressions:

Cate: I had seen Spencer at the gym all the time and I thought he was so cute. I definitely looked at all of his photos. He also played football, so I watched all his interviews and highlight tapes. My best friend is in HR and she did a nice dive into his LinkedIn for me—between the two of us, we were like the FBI.

I felt like I had nothing to lose. If he didn’t respond to my DM, then I would just go about my day. You have to just grab life by the horns!

Spencer: At first I was unsure of whether the DM was meant for me. I certainly noticed Cate and her best friend in the gym previously—especially Cate. I was excited to see what might come of it, certainly slow-played it as best as I could.

Cate: We continued to just talk about random things and asking each other the classic questions: What do you do? Where are you from? A few hours later, he said, “Any chance you’d rather text? I feel like that’d be much easier.”

What’s Happened Since:

Cate: Since the first DM, we are now going on our third year together. Sending that DM completely changed my life for the better! This is going to sound cheesy… I am so in love with him, but we are also amazing friends. He’s my biggest cheerleader, I can tell him anything, and I know he always has my back.

Spencer: The relationship has grown tremendously from that first DM. We are best friends and she is someone that I couldn’t picture not being a part of my life.

We celebrate our “DM-iversary.” I typically send flowers and we do dinner or something special. It’s fantastic to be able to look back and see how far we’ve come, knowing that she’s the one for me.

Cate: Everyone is shocked to find out that I DMed him on instagram, especially that I was the one who reached out first. We often tell people that we just met at the gym. It’s hard for the older generation to understand. But I have had a lot of friends tell my story to their friends. I think it gives people the confidence to put themselves out there!

The “Call It What It Is” DM Slide

Taylor, 26, and Derek, 32, have been together for 2.5 years. They live in Astoria, Queens.

The First DMs:

Taylor: I started a new job that day, and posted a selfie to my Instagram story. It was when the saying, “New phone, who dis?” was popular, and I wrote the caption as, “New job, who dis?”

Derek: “Who dis? I guess I can say the same.”

Taylor: “Check out this guy comin into my DMs asking who I am.”

Derek: “I straight electric slid into them DMs. [Man Dancing Emoji]”

Taylor: “Ohhhh yeah, he’s smooth.” (Neither of us had any game at all.)

Initial Impressions:

Derek: I decided to DM her because I thought she was cute! And I noticed she lived in Brooklyn, and I wanted to eventually meet up. I was single at the time so I was thinking, Hmmm, this should be fun and interesting. But if she didn’t respond, that would have been okay, too. Part of me knew she was going to reply because she’s the one that started following me first!

Taylor: I was already following Derek on Instagram for a while before that point—I found his account through my explore page and thought he was cute. I never thought I’d have a chance. Derek had over 7,000 followers, which I thought was enough for him to probably never notice me, but I would still like his pictures here and there.

When he DM-ed me, it’s embarrassing but I freaked out. I remember texting my two close girlfriends at the time because I was so excited. I definitely had a little crush on Derek already. I honestly thought he was too cool for me. He looked like this cool, artsy guy, covered with tattoos. But he was sweet. I replied because I had nothing to lose, though I was really nervous. Two weeks later, we finally met up for drinks.

What’s Happened Since:

Derek: Fortunately for us, we are still together. We’re still striving for what’s best for each other.

Taylor: Derek and I just had a baby in the beginning of August, his name is Milo. Having a baby really has put our relationship to the test, but it’s rewarding when you remember that we’re doing it all for him.

The Straight-Up Crush Admission

Luke, 30, and Danielle, 29, have been together for 3 years. They live in Cape Town, South Africa.

The First DMs:

Danielle: I said something along the lines of, “Sorry if this is a tad bizarre but I saw you twice over the weekend, and I was too nervous to say hi,” and that I had a Instagram-crush on him.

Luke: I responded something like, “I was nervous to say hello, too,” and we initiated a conversation immediately.

Initial Impressions:

Danielle: I’d seen Luke out and about twice the weekend leading up to my DM. I took it as fate guiding me. I consulted with my best friend, who also mentioned that she’d seen him that weekend—she even messaged me to say: “Do you know who would make the perfect boyfriend for you? Luke!” When I took the leap of faith, I was beyond nervous (I downed two glasses of wine in the process), but I felt good about it. We started chatting, exchanged numbers, and set a first date in place a few hours after that.

Luke: I felt extremely happy and excited. I was elated. I replied because I thought we would have a lot of fun together, and I thought Danielle was incredibly beautiful. We started dating pretty soon afterward and we have never looked back.

Danielle: Ten minutes into our first date at an art gallery, we were approached by the press—they took our picture and it ended up on the front page of a local newspaper. Luke gave a fake name! We still use that alias when I pick Luke up from the airport.

What’s Happened Since:

Danielle & Luke: We do pretty much everything together. We just moved into our own official place together. We’re best friends and have a beautifully honest and real relationship. We love traveling, but we are just as content being at home with our cat, Stevie. We’re excited as to what the future holds for us—knowing we’ll experience it together.

Responses have been edited and condensed for clarity.

Graphics by Coco Lashar

The post When the DM Slide Actually Works: 4 Couples Who Met on Instagram appeared first on Man Repeller.

Am I the Only Person Who Hates Eat-Acting?

Eleven minutes and 27 seconds into the premiere episode of Billions, Paul Giamatti eats. In the scene, Giamatti’s character, a district attorney named Chuck, is talking with a colleague who is trying to convince him to prosecute a billionaire named Bobby Axelrod. But Chuck, wedged into his office couch with a greasy takeout box in his lap, thinks the timing isn’t right, and by his own estimation, he’s never wrong.

“Bobby Axelrod is Mike Tyson in his prime,” he growls, picking up a hunk of his sandwich and holding it in the air. “And you do not want Mike Tyson in his prime.” He pops the bite in his mouth, starts chewing. It sounds wet. The next thing he says is essentially irrelevant, as his cheek is so packed with food the words mix into an inaudible slurry. A dirty napkin is wadded up in his hand, because of course it is, and for the rest of the conversation he is either visibly chewing or picking something out of his teeth with his tongue. It’s classic, chef’s-kiss levels of eating-as-acting, and I’m sure you can picture it perfectly, because almost nobody loves to eat and act as much as Paul Giamatti.

In fact, there’s so much eat-acting in Billions that I couldn’t continue past the first episode. See a montage of it here, and please note that most of it is comprised of Giamatti stuffing various noodles into his mouth:

WHY SO MUCH EATING? WHY SO MUCH CONVERSATIONAL WETNESS? These are important questions of our time—and they demand answers.

By the time my boyfriend and I noted this feature of Billions, clocking and calling out eat-acting was already an inside joke between us. It started when I complained that certain actors rely so much on food to get an element of their character across that it veers into parody. And once I said it, we couldn’t stop seeing it—characters talking with their mouths full, taking big sloppy bites, leaving little dribbles of sauce on their lips. It’s one of those phenomena that’s so common you almost don’t notice it, but it’s there: Leonardo DiCaprio in Wolf of Wall Street, Samuel L. Jackson in Pulp Fiction, most movie cops, Gary Oldman in True Romance, Brad Pitt in every scene of Ocean’s 11. Actually, Brad Pitt in everything. But these are just searchable examples—I’d wager the best ones are even more subtle, baked into every movie your college ex was shocked you hadn’t seen.

Characters in movies have to eat, of course, but eat-acting as I define it is a special brand of consumption wherein the food or the act of consuming it are specifically employed to develop a character or help them emote. Often it’s used to portray something like greed or slovenliness or unchecked power through a cliché masculine lens. But the most important feature of eat-acting is that it’s a little unreal; a style of chewing and talking and gesticulating that is more recognizable from the movies than from real life. This is what I find so deeply funny and also embarrassing about it. You get the sense that these actors think they’re artistic geniuses, when mostly it comes off like a tired trick.

When I first started researching whether this brand of acting had a name, I was surprised to find only one old story from Refinery29 that dubbed it “eating-acting” (which I’ve adapted) with a broken slideshow featuring, fittingly, a single image of Brad Pitt sucking on his fingers and a hot take that it was amazing to watch. But I felt like I hit the jackpot when I found this video of Nick Kroll introducing a new bit on Conan that he called “70s eater.” With a tray of food in front of him, he tells Conan to pretend they’re old friends in a diner in a Scorcese movie, then proceeds to lean over the plate and cartoonishly wolf fries and noodles while tossing out lines in a Jersey accent.

It’s the perfect caricature of eat-acting, and it’s funny because it’s both recognizable and under-observed. Who eats like this? Aren’t there other ways for actors to communicate their emotional gluttony? Maybe not. Maybe it’s perfect that Billions features so much eating, but my heart simply couldn’t take it. If I had to watch Paul Giamatti spit out one more piece of errant lettuce while expressing his passion for justice I was gonna freak.

Have you noticed this? Do you find it equally cringey or no? And more importantly, who else is a frequent offender? Any women?? (I feel like maybe Michelle Rodriguez….)

Gif via Columbia Pictures

The post Am I the Only Person Who Hates Eat-Acting? appeared first on Man Repeller.

You Look Moist: A Jewelry Designer Who Found the Perfect On-the-Go Makeup Product

Welcome to You Look Moist, a regular column wherein Man Repeller asks cool people with glowing visages how they achieved their supreme hydration (amongst other things). Today’s installment features Stella Simona, the co-founder of sister jewelry companies Amarilo and Haati Chai.

How would you describe your skin?

I have combination skin that is overall pretty well-tempered, so I don’t get too many breakouts.

How would you describe your skincare approach in general?

High-maintenance in the sense that I understand that my skin is the largest organ and everything I expose it to has a ripple effect on the rest of my health.

 

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A post shared by Stella Simona (@stellasimona) on Nov 23, 2019 at 11:24am PST

Which skincare products are integral to your routine for achieving your ideal, glowing, well-moisturized complexion, and how/when do you use each of them?

I use Fresh Vitamin C Glow Mask at least twice a week and Farmacy Honey Potion Mask at least once a week. My favorite cleanser is Versed Day Dissolve Cleansing Balm–it melts away all the makeup, feels so fresh, and leaves my skin feeling incredible. I use this daily. Toner is a step I also make sure I never skip because it keeps my skin’s pH balanced and is the main reason I am able to maintain a more even-toned complexion than ever before. I spray Ranavat Botanics Jasmine Tonique on my bare skin daily, above my makeup to set it, and I also mix it with my powder masks. Anytime I feel too dry, I apply Dr Jart Ceramidin Moisturizing Toner before applying moisturizer. My go-to serum is Chanel Hyrda Beauty Micro Serum—I use this daily, morning and evening. My standby face oil is Sunday Riley CEO Glow. Turmeric has major healing effects and I love the high concentration of it in this product because it gives me the benefits without making the mess. For moisturizer, I typically use Laneige Toner and Moisturizer (anything from this brand is gold). I specifically love this product because it’s 2-in-1, so on days when I’m in a rush it saves me some time. Occasionally I’ll swap in Drunk Elephant Lala Retro Whipped Cream, which I like because it feels whipped and creamy but never greasy. 

I like to keep my lips ultra-hydrated at all times, so I use Laneige Lip Sleeping Mask throughout the day. It’s the best! For the rest of my body care, I use Esker Beauty Clarifying Wash, as does my whole family. I also apply True Botanicals Body Mask before showering once a week for five minutes. It leaves my skin glowy and baby soft. Taking care of the skin on my body is extremely important to me. It’s so easy to tell when people are investing in skincare for their faces but neglect to do the same for their bodies.

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What about makeup products?

For foundation, I use Kosas Tinted Face Oil in shade 7.5 on days I want light coverage and Chanel Le Teint Ultra Tenue in Caramel 191 (a great shade match that leaves my skin feeling and looking like skin) on days I want more coverage. Sometimes I use Anastasia Beverly Hills Foundation in 430w instead depending on my mood.

I rely on Soap Brows to groom my brows and make them look thicker. Then I’ll use Brow Food to subtly add some color and fill in any sparser areas. For mascara, I like using Chanel Ultra Noir De Chanel 90 and Wander Mile High Club together.

Live Tinted Rise is a big, all-encompassing favorite of mine. I use it as a concealer, but also as a shadow, lip tint, and cheek tint. It’s perfect for on-the-go situations since it can help with so many many steps in the makeup process. Kjaer Weis Highlighter is my favorite highlighter because it goes on the skin so smoothly and makes my skin look naturally dewy.

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What’s the cheapest product you use regularly and love?

Versed Day Dissolve Cleansing Balm!

Is there anything you try to avoid, skin-care or makeup-wise?

Anything with too much fragrance is always a no. There are so many clean beauty options now that I make it a point to seek out and try those options first. Also, while I am generally a huge fan of alpha hydroxy products and salicylic acid for exfoliation, I have to avoid them currently because I’m pregnant.

 

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A post shared by Stella Simona (@stellasimona) on Oct 19, 2019 at 7:14am PDT

Any next-level tips, tricks, or services that you swear by to help you look “lit from within”?

I drink tons of water and give myself time to rest. I spend more time taking care of my skin than trying to fight it by applying makeup to hide breakouts or other skin issues that may occur.

What’s your go-to product or trick for fixing a skin disaster?

Pretty much any face oil. It helps remove everything if you put on too much makeup, helps combat dryness, and if you don’t want to do makeup at all it just gives your skin a healthy glow.

Do you do anything differently skincare-wise when you travel?

I make sure I keep a face mist handy since traveling can dry out the skin faster, but that’s about it.

What’s something you wish your teenage self knew about taking care of your skin?

I’m not going to lie, I knew the power of clean beauty from an early age. The products we are able to find so easily now were unavailable back then, so I often made recipes with things in my fridge and kitchen. If anything, I wish my teenage self had access to some of these brands that I am using now.

Photos provided by Stella Simona.

The post You Look Moist: A Jewelry Designer Who Found the Perfect On-the-Go Makeup Product appeared first on Man Repeller.

It’s Here: The Final ~Drop~ of Our Astrological Gift Guide

Welcome to the Annual Man Repeller Gift Guide! As you may know, we love throwing a theme party that moonlights as gift-giving advice around here, and this year’s theme is “horoscopes.” It’s a timely celebration of the 2010s’ primary source of digital catnip, but also an excuse to create TWELVE highly personalized gift vignettes for your shopping pleasure. Tuesday you saw gifts for fire signs, Wednesday earth signs, yesterday air signs, and today, our final frontier: water! So  I’ll hand the mic over to astrological aficionado Sarah Panlibuton Barnes who is far more qualified to wax poetic on the stars and their plans for your presents. — Harling Ross

Happy Holidoozies folks! Welcome to the most wonderful time of the year. ‘Tis the season for turning looks against all weather-based odds. It is also the time of year that calls us to reflect on where we’ve been and ask some big questions, such as: What cheese assortment will please the largest number of my family and friends? Are antlers an ethically chill decorating choice? If I sit at the kid’s table can I avoid making eye contact with my great uncle who just wants to recite facts he learned from “the Wikipedia” as if he is the first person to have used the internet? And, of course, the eternal wintertide question: What objects do I wrap in festive paper and offer to my acquaintances, friends, and most beloved in order to demonstrate my feelings about them?

We’ve got you covered on this one, you lil yuletide delight. We have selected an array of very good objects inspired by the astrological water signs, Pisces, Cancer, and Scorpio. Water signs are all about connection. Nothing makes a water sign happier than being with their chosen people, and yet, they also tend to come off as dreamy or far away. Basically, they want to be invited to the party, even if they don’t actually want to go. If you are lucky enough to get a water sign to attend your party, you can count on them to emotionally bolster everyone who needs it. You might find a Pisces with their arms slung around Jim and Kathy, trying to coach them through a rough patch. Don’t be surprised if you catch a Scorpio sneaking the dog cheese cubes because they just couldn’t resist those sweet puppy eyes. Maybe you’ll close out the night doing dishes with a Cancer who insisted on staying to help you clean up even though they’re just, like, a tertiary friend/acquaintance and you’re not even sure who they came with. What more could you ask for?

Scorpio

Scorpio is magnetic, enigmatic, and deeply in touch with the fluxing emotional world of mystery and intrigue. If the zodiac were a high school yearbook, Scorpio would be voted Most Likely to Attract Followers Without Even Trying to and Then Becoming the Leader of a Group That Local News Organizations Might Call a Cult But That the Acolytes Refer to as “a Community of Like-Minded Seekers in Ecstatic Supplication to This Scorpio Hottie.” The community’s activities would focus heavily on rituals involving singing bowls and contemplative eye gazing, which sounds to me like a grand ol’ time.

Whether or not the Scorpio in your life has actual devotees, you can honor this underappreciated side of their nature by giving them gifts that are glamorous, cozy, and esoteric. Examples include this gilded turtle box cast from the mold of an actual box turtle that died of natural causes, or this hat with ear flaps which indulges Scorpio’s mysterious side by making their ears into a secret. You should also consider gifts that help your Scorpio send a message, like these lip oils from Kosas that hydrate like a lip balm and also add visual drama to any prophesying your Scorp might need to do. Or you could take a more figurative approach by buying Scorpio items that speak for themselves, such as this chain belt which says, “I want you to know I have a waist and also possibly a weapon.” Or this photo of tomatoes that says, “Let us admire a fruit at its ripest while the world around us decays.”

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Pisces

Oh Pisces, the tender-bellied celestial fish of the zodiac, what would we do without them? During the holiday season, we count on Pisces to remind everyone to slow down and make time for those sticky feelings that often come with the season. Pisces wants to help you hang the mistletoe, then process your feelings about that kiss you shared with your neighbor last week which you can’t decide if you loved or were just bored and had too much champagne. Pisces comes to the holiday party draped in silk and insists that everyone write down compliments for themselves and their loved ones on little slips of paper and stuff them into a bedazzled box she made which she will then read out aloud while the party engages in a cleansing communal weep followed by a group hug.

Tend to your Pisces and all their feelings with little things that show you care, like this sunscreen to keep their skin sun-safe even in the winter, this dinner party set so that your Pisces knows that you never want them to dine alone (unless they want to), these sparkling loafers that are both comfortable and extravagant, and these heart-shaped earrings so that your Pisces can not only wear her heart on her sleeve, but also on her earlobes. Tuck your pressies into this excellent woven bag that looks like it was knit by a coterie of Cinderella’s devoted mice and voilà! You have yourself a perfect Pisces present.

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Cancer

Cancer is a sign that you want on your side. Loyal and devoted to their chosen few, Cancer wants nothing more during the holidays than to be with their favorite people. An ideal holiday gathering for Cancer would take place in a familiar environment with people they know well. If you put a Cancer in loving surroundings they can trust, you will have a charming and creative party guest on your hands. Before you know it, your beloved celestial crab will be organizing a Scrabble tournament and making mulled wine. But if you drag Cancer to a raucous soiree where they don’t know anyone well, you may find your friend standing by the punch bowl giving dark lectures to other guests about the epidemic state of loneliness in late capitalist society.

To keep your Cancer happily scuttling along this holiday season, give them this shiny crab ring and this top-shelf CBD oil that will show them you see the beauty in their crustaceous exterior and you wish them peace in their inner shell. Tuck both gifts into this Rachel Comey bag that looks like it was discovered in a chest of buried treasure. You could also offer the gift of hours of wholesome home-based entertainment with this party-themed puzzle. Pair the puzzle with these baroque seashell plates and starfish brooch to honor Cancer’s natural affinity with water and desire to never leave the house again.

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8 PHOTOS
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Photographer: Cody Guilfoyle

Prop Stylist: Sara Schipani

Art Direction/Production: Sabrina Santiago 

Market: Leandra Medine Cohen, Harling Ross, & Elizabeth Tamkin 

The post It’s Here: The Final ~Drop~ of Our Astrological Gift Guide appeared first on Man Repeller.

I Tested 7 Cult-y Brow Gels and My Favorite Is the Cheapest

Like many millennials, I can divide my life into two very distinct sections: before-brows and after-brows. Lucky for me, my before-brow period exists only in the memory of my mother and those who have access to my pre-2011 Facebook photos. Since making the life-changing decision to start caring about my eyebrows, I’ve been obsessed with the products that transform them from translucent whispers above my eye sockets to delicately manicured works of facial art (too much?). I have a brow tint I apply every 3–4 weeks and a brow/wax palette I’ve been loyal to for years, but I’ve long struggled (yes, struggled) to find a brow gel that meets my needs. So I enlisted the help of makeup aficionado Sable Yong—one of the few people I would trust with such a task—to test seven highly rated brow gels and help find the best brow gel in all the land. Keep reading to find out how the most popular options fared, and of course, which one she thinks is best. —Gyan

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The One for He or She Who Has Never Considered Brow Gel

Glossier Boy Brow, $16

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You can’t review brow gels this side of 2014 and not include Glossier Boy Brow. Even if you’re iffy on the product and the name, or resent the models’ preternaturally perfect brows and faces in the ads, Glossier Boy Brow is, dare I say, iconic. And, you know, it didn’t get there by sucking, so rest assured this is a solid option.

The Application: I find the hold to be more of the encouraging persuasion, as opposed to really grippy—it’ll make your brows look well-groomed but won’t necessarily set the hairs in any direction they don’t naturally want to stay in. What is great is that throughout its wear, Boy Brow doesn’t get stiff or flaky; it remains soft and flexible like a good boy (brow) should. The tint is forgiving for hasty swipers and buildable for double-swipers.

The Look: Perfectly natural but enhanced “I woke up like this” brows.

You should get this if: You want to look like a Glossier model. JK, but if you’re pretty happy with your natural brows and just wants to give them a modest amount more oomph.

The One That Works Hard, Plays Hard

Milk Makeup Kush Fiber Brow Gel, $20

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Some say Milk Makeup’s brow gel is the vegan version of Boy Brow, but I’m not sure I agree. It’s available in eight colors and, counter to the natural look of Boy Brow, its formula has tiny fibers that actually make your brows appear thicker—plus cannabis sativa oil for conditioning.

The Application: The pigment is fairly saturated, tinting and deepening your brows to really up their contrast. I find that making tiny strategic swipes throughout my brows, brushing them up and out, is the easiest way to control how defined I want them, as opposed to one painterly swoosh that might fully blot them with color. The hold is flexible and the pigment sets on the skin to resist smudging throughout its wear, which I find impressive and merciful.

The Look: The equivalent of that editorial slicked-back-wet-hair look models wear on magazine covers—strong, high-contrast, saturated.

You Should Get This If: You want your brows to look bolder than they may feel. And you like CBD in stuff.

The Instagram 2.0 Brow

Anastasia Beverly Hills Dipbrow Gel, $18

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When you are not fucking around with your eyebrows, you go for this one. It is a full brow beat with a highly pigmented, waterproof, long-wear formula. There are 11 shades for all the brows around the world and while the packaging involves the standard tiny mascara brush in a tube, advanced brow painters can use the gel with a small angled liner brush to create hair-like strokes to further define their shape.

The Application: I find that I have to swipe with caution with this one because it’s so pigmented, but once I got the hang of it, I found it to be a really solid, versatile brow gel.

The Look: The shoulder pad of brow gels—you can really do some extreme defining with this gel because it’s a high-performance substance. That said, you don’t have to push it to the extreme, in which case you can have as finely detailed brow hairs as you want.

You should get this if: You want to dress your brows up in a power suit.

*The* Brow Gel Since Before They Were a Thing

Benefit Gimme Brow+ Volumizing Eyebrow Gel, $24

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The internet remains divided between Gimme Brow devotees and Boy Brow converts; some say the latter is a dupe for the former—an $8 savings for 0.12g more product. That said, you do get more shade options (eight vs. four) and a slightly tackier hold with Gimme Brow, but I’m not going to tell you where to bet your $8. Also, I am still not sure what “gimme brow” is supposed to be a pun of, given the brand’s penchant for punny product names, but I guess it doesn’t matter because Gimme Brow remains a fan favorite.

The Application: Easy-peasy. It’s like driving an automatic on a smooth terrain. It goes on evenly with a generous tint that’s easy to control where you place it, feels soft and flexible throughout its wear, and lasts all day.

The Look: You really can’t overdo it with this one. While it’s not fibrous in formula, it manages to build your brow bulk smoothly and gracefully, like fancy hair pomade.

You should get this if: You tried it once, liked it, and can’t be asked to do more legwork in finding another brow gel you like—and don’t mind spending $24.

The Brow Gel for Perfectionists

Hourglass Arch Brow Volumizing Fiber Gel, $28

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A luxury and cruelty-free option for luxury, cruelty-free brows, Hourglass combines the best of the fibrous formulas (with microfibers) in six shades of its lightweight formula that has a nice buildable pigment to take you from subtle to done-up in a number of swipes.

The Application: Super customizable, light, and buildable. The brush is unique in that one side has longer bristles than the other for you to sculpt and place the gel however you like. The hold is on the light side, I’d say, but the microfibers make building up your brow easy.

The Look: This is certainly the most “effortless” aesthetic of brow gels.

You should get this if: You like luxury. Or if you’re very Type-A about your brows and so far all other brow gel wands aren’t tailored enough for you to really groom them how you wish.

The Brow Gel That Doubles as a Stress Ball

Diorshow Pump N Brow, $27

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Audaciously and aptly named, this brow gel’s tube has a squeezable middle so you can “pump” more product onto the wand before pulling it out of the tube—genius! This is another “hairy” formula with microfibers mixed in for volume. There are five shades with a forgiving pigment level that has the tiniest hint of light-catching shimmer. The black shade doesn’t look super obvious on dark brows like mine, which is a detail I appreciate. The squishy tube is a strangely satisfying way to literally pump before you… brow.

The Application: Fun! Give the tube a couple squidges if you really want to glob it on, but otherwise, you can just sweep it on and it’ll give your brow hairs some heft in a flexible, tinted formula.

The Look: Like you’re Kaia Gerber when she’s raising a single eyebrow at Pete Davidson.

You should get this if: You’re the type of person who cuts open containers to get to the last bits of product or you want fancy, model-looking brows.

The One That Will Make You Rethink Brow Gels Completely

Flower Beauty Bubble Brow, $10

Okay, technically this is a tinted wax, not a gel. But hear me out—she has changed my life. Think of this as a brow gel that has made gains. It has done for me what no mere gel itself has, which is actually lock my brow hairs in place. It’s a molding formula that borrows from the makeup artist’s method of using soap on your brows. This only comes in two shades, a light and a dark, but the pigment is so translucent it doesn’t really matter that much. I must warn you that it’s currently sold out everywhere but will be restocked soon, according to the brand’s PR. I encourage you to set a Google alert for when it does, but in the meantime, I’ve found West Barn Co’s Soap Brows and Iconic London’s Brow Silk to be solid dupes.

The Application: It’s basically the same gesture as applying any brow gel with a slight packaging twist. Rather than the tiny spoolie brush in a tube situation, the product is in a pan with a spoolie brush in a narrow compact. You activate it by dipping the spoolie brush in water, then pick up a bit of product from the pan onto the brush. Then you brush it through your brows into whatever shape you desire (I recommend straight up and out) until it starts to stiffen, and once it’s set, it’s set.

The Look: This makes my brows look all fluffy and editorial, like they belong on one of those Australian Instagram beach babe models. I consistently get brow-specific compliments when I wear this. I may even get an Australian modeling contract as an eyebrow model. Time will tell.

You should get this if: You wish to look like a brow wunderkind, innocent and fierce all at once, worthy of being dished out on everyone’s Instagram explore feed.

Feature image via Getty.

The post I Tested 7 Cult-y Brow Gels and My Favorite Is the Cheapest appeared first on Man Repeller.

Favorite Holiday Movie: GO!

At this point, I can’t remember a December 25th in my house that wasn’t set to the tune of a marathon viewing of A Christmas Story on TBS.

Decorating sugar cookies in flannel pajamas? “Randy lay there like a slug, it was his only defense.” Wrapping last-minute gifts with sloppy corners I can never fix? “You’ll shoot your eye out, kid.” I know the movie so well I can recite lines I’m not even aware I retained in my useless memory bank. It is unequivocally—irrevocably—the MacGowan family holiday film.

If I had my druthers, though (and I don’t, because my dad is the one who mandates the holiday spirit vis-à-vis our living room TV), we’d switch up our holiday film of choice. I mean, listen: I’ve never watched Carol around Christmas time because it doesn’t immediately come to mind, but I would really cherish the opportunity to roll into the jolly season with Cate Blanchett and Rooney Mara’s asphyxiating sexual tension (and foxy coats).

There’s so much to be said about the way nostalgia factors into our holiday experience, but how many times can I watch The Santa Clause, Elf, Home Alone, The Family Stone, or Love Actually until I know every word, kiss, glitter top, or Tim Allen eye pop? It’s time for a more robust rolodex, a more ample arsenal, a more in-depth dossier. If. You. Will.

So, in the spirit of our recent story that helped you find your podcast soul mate, let’s do the same for holiday moopies. Tell me your absolute favorites and why! And don’t you dare be afraid of repeating and/or upvoting what others have said, because 1. That helps our rocket scientist figure out how to craft the handy infographic guide and 2. Your relationship to your favorite holiday movie is special and no one can take that away from you, Jack Frost.

Give me your Christmas Princes and Die Hard 2s and everything in between: Go!

Feature photos via Everett Collection.

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