Leandra Medine's Blog, page 55

MR Writers Club Prompt: If Your Closet Could Talk, What Would It Say?

Have you heard of the Man Repeller Writers Club? Every month we pose a story idea, you write about it, then send it to us (write@manrepeller.com) with the subject line “MR Writers Club.” We go through all submissions and post the winner at the end of the month. Ready? Let’s go.

If my closet could talk, I’m not sure I’d want to hear what it has to say. Our meetings are often tense, fueled by a combination of my seemingly insatiable sartorial boredom and continued inability to gauge how things will look. I leave it guessing as to my mood, ask more of it than is probably possible, state I’d swap it for another’s without a thought to its feelings. I’m finicky. But I’m not an entirely careless lover. I fold things nice and slowly, try to make my stacks stand up straight like chunky little buildings. I steam things when I can, smoothing their wrinkles like a cotton twill facialist. I rarely leave my stuff crumpled on the ground. I guess we’re a fine pair, in the end, if only I remembered that more often.

January on Man Repeller will be all about our relationships with our stuff—the things we love, accumulate, tend to, discard, find again. So for this month’s Writers Club, we want you to write a story about yourself from the perspective of your closet. If it could express itself, what stories would it tell and secrets would it divulge? What times would stand out in its mind over the years, and who are you having lived through those? Explore these questions and more, and send the resulting piece to write@manrepeller.com in 500 words or less by Thursday, January 23rd.

Graphic by Lorenza Centi.

The post MR Writers Club Prompt: If Your Closet Could Talk, What Would It Say? appeared first on Man Repeller.

Your January Horoscope Is Here & Has Opinions Re: Your Resolution

Welcome to the new decade, ye seekers of mystic extrapolation based on planetary goings-on. Let me paint you a picture of right now: It is Capricorn’s season, a time of revolutionary energy and boatloads of verve, and the stars want us to aim high! The stars are begging you to get out there and start actually baking artisanal sourdough bread, to become someone who runs to blow off steam, who writes thank you cards and remembers everyone’s birthday. Right now the stars are all like, “Hey, how about you buy all new, beautifully designed food storage vessels and meal prep every week?” Now, raise your hand if all that sounds like an electric aspirational joyride!

…Okay, now raise your hand if you’re tired and feel a kind of Anthropocene dread and existential trembling under the weight of possibility that stretches out before you! Oh, look at that, both my hands are raised! How about yours?

Look friends, I am not a therapist. I am but a humble peddler of metaphor-based astrological wares. So I am not clinically licensed to tell you to start journaling for your mental health. I can, however, soak up vibes from the Aquarian energy circulating and see that the extremist, always-on-the-vanguard thing that Aquarian energy is so good at bringing out in all of us can also bring out a frenetic sorrow that must be met with kindness and coping strategies. Therefore, the theme of this month is shoot for the stars, but also just be a regular-degular dude and try to drink enough water. I’ve missed you all, let’s get started.

Capricorn

Oh hello birthday angel! Welcome to your season! *cue confetti cannon* Are you celebrating by splurging on the newest Fenty and booking a spontaneous trip to the Maldives? Probably not, you hardworking and disciplined sea goat! You have been keeping your figurative nose to the figurative grindstone, and that energy doesn’t look to be tapering off. Luckily, the stars are aligning to help you shift out of your go-go-go routine and into a place where you can kick back and count your blessings. The full moon and lunar eclipse on the 10th will urge you to make resolutions about your love life. Is it time to delete the dating apps? Is it time to download a suite of them? I don’t know! But I do know that it can be very all-consuming when we’re in the throes of love and desire. Take care of yourself by balancing your intense romantic feelings with healthy doses of platonic bonding.

Many Caps out there lean toward shyness, and when you’re in a romantic relatsh you tend to put your friendships on ice. This month’s theme is all about balancing the big dramatic moves with the small, sweet, overnight-oats kind of game-changers. So use the cutting-edge energy of the new moon in Aquarius on the 24th to take stock of how well you’ve been balancing your energy and re-adjust if needed. Now, get out there and spend your month of solar return embracing your wild ambition and blazing heart, while also making time for some good ol’ fashioned friend dates.

Aquarius

Oh hi you strange and perfect bird! I hope you are preparing for your birthday month. I want to offer you my very favorite piece of Aquarian whimsy as an early birthday present:

You’re welcome. Now, I know you may be thinking, Wow Sar, you’re really showing off by giving me such an excellent gift right out of the gate when it is not even my birthday yet. But I’m not the only one that came to this month bearing gifts for you–turns out many of the planets want to lay good fortune at your feet. The emotional full moon and lunar eclipse in Cancer on the 10th will likely bring healing for you in some intimate emotional arenas that have been painful in the last month or so. This is good for you, but might be kinda icky (like a wheatgrass shot or a colonic perhaps). This means that the first half of January is the time to enlist some chill coping strategies. For example, every time you feel a big cry coming on at work, go for a brisk walk around the block. I find that freezing windchill is productively distracting and refreshing when I want to snap out of a weep. The new moon on the 24th in your sign should bring feelings of control and exhilaration. Capitalize on that rush of energy by spending the last bit of January into early February getting your life-renovation on. Good job being born and keeping the momentum going all the way to today, my dude.

Pisces

Pisces, you radiant sunfish that shines like the star of its namesake, welcome to 2020! I hope you brought your Google calendar because January is really going to be challenging in terms of scheduling all the fun fun funnery ahead. This month is abnormally busy in your social life—and you’re gonna have to get real about who deserves your time and who doesn’t.

The lunar eclipse and full moon in Cancer drops by to say hi and to tell you to get your life circa January 10th. For all you sensitive psychic fish spirits this can bring a lot of emotional undercurrents right up to the surface to roil around and make things feel weird. Eclipses feel sudden and dramatic for everyone, and all your other star-kin are going to be confronting some emotional truths that they have been content to keep happily packed away. However, as everyone on the internet knows, Pisces is the most sensitive sign and this is your strength right now. Lean into the feelings and see what you can learn from the murky depths.

After a month of swimming in the deep sea of cry-texting your best friend, you will need to take some time away from gazing into the dark cave of your soul and get out into nature around the new moon in Aquarius on the 24th. It will help you to connect to the big wide world of trees, who don’t feel things (actually that’s debatable, hmu in the comments to talk about the latest tree communication networks in the comments) and thus can remind you how important it is to let go of your small individual sufferings sometimes and connect with big, old, chill beings. Yeah. That’s my astrological advice. Go hang out with a tree. Thank you and goodnight.

Aries

Greetings fire ram! Happy new decade! I have something to tell you that you might not like. Please allow me to soften the blow by first asking you to look at this picture of Timothée Chalamet eating fries with Meryl Streep:

View this post on Instagram

This behind-the-scenes pic of the ‘Little Women’ cast eating fries is my sanctuary and healing (

Open Thread: What’s a Thing You Do to Make New Year’s Hope Last Longer?

I’m noticing a pattern in this thing I do in early January every year where I project a desire to be more something: efficient, positive, essential—it seems to depend on my mood at the time. This projection manifests as a narrative that is pegged to the new year and focused on a range of improvement tactics, like the best productivity hack (2019), or beauty purge ritual (2018), or case for layman survival (2017).

I didn’t realize I do this until I got back to work last Thursday, firing on all cylinders, revved up like the battery-operated Hess truck my grandmother gave to my daughters for Hannukah, with words dying to spill out of my fingertips like the battery-operated Hess truck my grandmother gave to my daughters for Hannukah (I’m just kidding, this doesn’t make sense, but is my editor reading? Is she? Hmm? I guess we’ll find out [Ed note: Present!]), even though I don’t actually know what I want the words to say.

Does that ever happen to you? You come back from a brief break sprightly as fuck, ready to do, rubbing the tips of your fingers together, unconsciously thinking that the harder you rub, the more likely it will be that something will manifest. It’s such a good feeling—it’s the feeling of hope! And the hope challenges all the setbacks and roadblocks and disappointments that have seemingly separated you by immovable cement cinderblock from reaching your potential.

Until you return to who you were last December. It becomes who you are in the new year and shocks you if you’re aware enough, because without your even having noticed, the humdrum is back and the hope is gone. So you have to wonder: will I have to wait until the end of this year or the beginning of next year to rev back up?

I didn’t even know I felt like this until I wrote it down. And now that I’m here I can’t unsee it, and now that you’re here, I don’t want you to unsee it either, so consider this an open thread that tracks what happens when the cinderblock returns and holds all of us accountable to keep the flame of hope burning by asking, then answering the question: how?

How do I keep the flame of hope alive?

I am embarrassed as fuck typing this out because it feels menial and trivial and probably too earnest but in the interest of camaraderie, I’ll share my half portion of the penne primavera. I realized that the hope starts to fade when I get too comfortable. When I am satisfied enough by the feeling that I am ready to move forward but make the mistake of not actually moving.

Instead, I ease back. Into a couch that is covered in the very same lint I thought I rolled and discarded in December. And look, it’s not that I’m too hard on myself — I’m pretty nice to me —  it’s just that autopilot is hard to shut down. Sometimes you forget it’s on, so it sneaks back up on you then all of a sudden two weeks have passed, three weeks have passed, a month has passed!, and boom: hope’s gone.

So here’s what I did. I made a checklist of questions to go over on Sunday to keep me accountable for all the ways in which I have expressed thy lint will shed. And so I will ask myself:

0) Have I spent enough time with the four areas of professional focus (editorial, podcast, video, macro business development) I have declared for the year? (They all ladder up to a ten-year vision, which I uncovered by very earnestly filling out this worksheet, which is written out on a post-it on my bathroom mirror.)

1) Have I scheduled a recreational activity to do with someone I really like who is neither my husband nor my kids, but who I don’t work with either? I say it all the time, and am yet the first to forget it: we need each other to survive. And though I have a great partner and kids and work comrades I admire, I have to, have to, have to, poke my head out of the social radius where these interactions occur day in and out in order to build perspective to grow and learn and listen, dare I even sayyyyyyyyyy teach?

2) Has it been longer than three weeks since I last ate a meal solo with my dad? I came to the conclusion that I should see him 1x monthly because in trying to figure out what fills me with hope the most, I realized that it’s dreaming, and my dad has always been my partner in dreaming. Spending time with him motivates me in an impractical, but highly inspiring way, so, don’t let me forget this, pls.

3) Have I looked at my personal checking and savings accounts this month? How much did I make, and save, and spend and do I have to send my kids to nursery school? Rly?

And if the answer to any of these questions is no, I hit myself over the head with a sledgehammer.

Lol, jk, then I just do the thing I said I would and perhaps if hope is slipping and I’m feeling kind of down, or caught between a cinderblock and a purpose, I’ll revisit this story to remember what spright tastes like. Get it? Like Sprite?

Your turn!!!

Graphic by Lorenza Centi.

The post Open Thread: What’s a Thing You Do to Make New Year’s Hope Last Longer? appeared first on Man Repeller.

You Look Moist: A Makeup Artist Who Swears by Her Under-the-Radar Korean Moisturizer

Welcome to You Look Moist , a regular column wherein Man Repeller asks cool people with glowing visages how they achieved their supreme hydration (amongst other things). Today’s installment features professional makeup artist Regard Tang.

How would you describe your skin?

I’ve had some acne pop up here and there, but in general my skin is pretty clear, especially since I changed my diet (more on that later). I don’t have wrinkles yet even though I’m 39 years old. No one believes my age when I tell them! It’s probably genetic (Asian don’t raisin, as the saying goes).

How would you describe your skincare approach in general?

In my 20s, I spent hundreds and hundreds on my skincare routine, but after I became a makeup artist in my 30s and was able to try out more products I had a better sense of what worked for me and simplified things. Now I maintain very basic morning and night routines with cleanser, lip balm, eye cream, toner, serum, and moisturizer.

Which skincare products are integral to your routine for achieving your ideal, glowing, well-moisturized complexion, and how/when do you use each of them?

I believe that nice skin starts with how you clean it. My favorite face wash is Mary Kay Time Wise Repair Volu-Firm Foaming Cleanser. I work with Mary Kay’s ambassador program a lot for shows and TV, which is how I first tried it. I love how clean it makes my skin feel.

Bobbi Brown Hydrating Eye Cream is another go-to product for me. I started using eye cream when I was 20 years old. I inherited my dark eye circles from my dad, but when I was young I didn’t know it was a genetic thing and spent so much money tried to remove them (silly me). Now that I’m older, I’m more accepting of my body.

I use a lightweight gel moisturizer from a Korean brand called Beauty Queen. My esthetician in San Francisco introduced me to it,  and I’ve been in love ever since. I’ve been using it for over five years, day and night, and it still takes care of my skin, even during New York’s brutal winters.

See All 3

What about makeup products?

My makeup philosophy tends to be “less is more.” Usually I spend no more than 15 minutes on a full face for myself. For foundation, I’ve been loving Fenty Beauty Pro Filt’r Soft Matte Longwear foundation #240 It lasts all day.

For concealer, I use Clé De Peau in Ocher. It’s the best–I’ve lost count of how many containers I’ve emptied. It’s also a staple in my makeup kit as well. The pigment is very concentrated so I like to use a couple drops of Olivella Moisturizer Oil to thin out the consistency, which makes it easier to apply without any cakey-ness. The only downside is the shade range–it only covers light to medium skin tones because it’s part of Shiseido (a Japanese brand). My favorite concealer to use on darker skin tones is Nars Radiant Creamy Concealer because–true to its name–it’s creamy and therefore easy to blend. I recommend blending it with clean ring finger or clean fluffy brush. A little goes a long way.

After I apply foundation and concealer, I dust lightly with Laura Mercier Translucent Loose Setting Power to set everything. Voilà, perfect base is done!

Other than fresh-looking skin, good eyebrows are everything to me. I use Senna Sketch-A-Brow in Ash Brown. It makes my brows fuller without looking too harsh. Pro Tips: If your brows are already full and you just need to fill in some patches, I highly recommend Glossier Brow Flick. Draw it stroke by stroke–it looks like real hair.

Last but not least, blush. I use IT Cosmetics Ombre Radiance Blush in Je Ne Sais Quoi. I personally don’t like too much shimmer on myself–this one reflects the right amount of light without making your cheeks look like a shiny disco ball.

A lot of my clients ask me why they have raccoon eyes by mid- to late-afternoon. I tell them to use waterproof mascara and eyeliner–my favorites are Jill Stuart Beauty Lasting Curl Blossom Waterproof Mascara in Black and Bobbi Brown Long Wear Waterproof Liner in Hazy Brown. A lot of people avoid waterproof makeup because they think it’s harder to remove, but Bobbi Brown Instant Long-Wear Makeup Remover will get rid of anything stubborn. I like to follow up with a Neutrogena Ultra Soft Makeup Remover Wipe.

See All 12


What’s the cheapest product you use regularly and love?

I’m obsessed with Nivea lip care. Milk and Honey is my favorite. I’m fanatical about making sure my lips are moisturized all day long, so I apply  every morning, night, and after meals–and any time of the day in between when needed.

See All 1


Is there anything you try to avoid, skincare- or makeup-wise?

I’m personally not into heavy/cakey makeup (perhaps because I work in fashion industry and most makeup looks I do are fresh, clean, and dewy). I strongly believe in the importance of taking care of your skin rather than putting on lots of makeup.

Any next-level tips, tricks, or services that you swear by to help you look “lit from within”?

I sleep at least eight hours a night, if not more. I also eat lots of veggies and fruits and drink lots of water each day. I’ve heard that the amount of water you should drink every day is your weight divided by two (e.g. 120 lbs / 2 = 60 oz water), so I try to target that number for myself. A few months ago, I reduced most of the dairy, coffee, red meat, alcohol, and added sugar in my diet, and though my skin has always been pretty stable and smooth, I definitely notice a difference. It’s next-level glowy now.

What’s your go-to product or trick for fixing a skin disaster?

Tea tree oil is the best whenever I have acne. It kills bacteria and helps the skin heal faster. If you have a concentrated version, you can mix one part tea tree oil with nine parts of water and apply with cotton swab on the targeted area, twice a day.

See All 1


Do you do anything differently skincare-wise when you travel?

Sometimes changes in weather can shock the skin, so I try to keep my routine the same no matter where I am in order to cut down on too much adjustment.

What’s something you wish your teenage self knew about taking care of your skin?

Start moisturizing your body and hands, girlfriend! Your 39-year-old self will thank you.

The post You Look Moist: A Makeup Artist Who Swears by Her Under-the-Radar Korean Moisturizer appeared first on Man Repeller.

What Happens When Missed Connections Work Out (Or Really Don’t)

Despite the fact that it employs modern technology, there’s something charmingly old-fashioned about Craigslist Missed Connections. If it weren’t online, it could just as easily be a lonely hearts bulletin board in the town square—an enduring social resource that proves there’s a little romance left in all of us. I recently typed it into my browser after a friend told me it was defunct and experienced a ridiculous wave of relief when I found it still alive and kicking. Just that day, 70 people had posted looking for someone they’d seen in New York, and it was only noon. (Almost half of them were smut, but still.)

Curious to know if anyone in my orbit had actually found an ad about themselves, or put one up in search of another, I asked my social network to send me stories. I received a flood of anecdotes so delightful, haunting, and funny I couldn’t help but share them. Some proved the tool could use an update (or a replacement—one recommended Lex for the queer community), and others reminded me how glad I am that there’s still recourse when someone memorable gets away.

The One With the Happy Ending

“Ten years ago I had just moved into my first apartment in the East Village, and my dad, who worked uptown, called to say he’d bought me a vacuum cleaner, and that I should come pick it. So I went up to get it and he handed me this huge box and gave me $20 for a taxi. Of course I thanked him for both but opted to pocket the $20 and take the subway. I struggled on the 6 train with my vacuum and got in a fight about it and was all flustered because it was heavier and more cumbersome than I imagined.

Then, on my walk home, I accidentally brushed the bags of this homeless man who lived in my neighborhood and he got super upset and started screaming at me. I meekly said I was sorry, which only upset him more so he started following me. I tried to speed up but the box I was struggling because the box was so awkward, and when I finally got to my door he’d caught up and was getting more agitated, swinging his arms around. I was sure he was going to hit me when this guy in a red scarf rode by on his bike and immediately pulled over and put himself between me and the guy. I was near tears then and didn’t know what to do, but the guy on the bike turned around and told me to get inside and we made this eye contact for just a minute that I can still remember.I went up all five flights fully crying.

I was just alone in my apartment distraught, and suddenly it crystallized how cute the guy was and how he, ya know, ‘saved my life.’ So I went on Craigslist and wrote a Missed Connection: ‘Guy on bike saves girl with luggage East Village.’ A few hours later I got some positively lewd replies and thought of taking the post down when suddenly in my inbox was the dorkiest and sweetest email. A week later we had our first date. A few months later we were moving in together and a few years later we were married. I guess while he was explaining the story to his coworkers, one of them said, ‘Hey you should check Missed Connections. I mean, if you were ever to get one it would be for this.'”

—Caitlin, 33

The Ones That Went Horribly Wrong

“I convinced my roommate to write one back in 2011, after she met a random guy at a bar—and of course he was the type to check Missed Connections. They went out and things escalated quickly. Turns out he had just arrived in the city, was homeless, and was trying to get a busking license—that was his only plan. He became really intense really quickly (like in the span of two days). She cut things off soon after but then he began sending wild conspiracy messages to her on Facebook equating her not talking to him to the fact that 9/11 was an inside job. Also, my other roommate and I were talking about it once, being paranoid that he had somehow planted microphones in our unit, and then an hour later he posted something on her Facebook page along those lines.

How to Do Anything: Give Yourself a Perfect At-Home Manicure

“How to Do Anything” is Man Repeller’s how-to service column that rave reviews are calling “better than Google” (just kidding—but seriously, it’s like a search engine combined with a metaphorical pal who cuts out the ancillary information to tell you exactly what you need to know, and what’s better than that?).

Inside what I call my “emotional arsenal” are a handful of activities that are guaranteed to make me feel bright and genuinely joyous, even when I’m feeling the opposite. Some of these things include making my bed with fresh sheets, watching John Mulaney’s Netflix specials, and, my favorite, painting my nails. Rather than the final result—glossy, polished fingertips—it’s the process of carefully applying base, color, and top coats that I find calming. While my foray into adult coloring came and went in a flash, nail polish has remained a reliable source of mindfulness. It’s a routine I’ve relied on for years, but it isn’t a skill I’ve ever actively tried to get better at.

It’s my personal belief that the more skilled you are at something, the more likely you are to love it. I use this same logic to justify why my boyfriend continues running marathons despite them being objectively hellish, and also how I went from hating cooking (when I was terrible at it) to actually quite enjoying it (I now have the NYT Cooking app). I am good at painting my nails, but when it comes to doing a whole manicure—filing, exfoliating, buffing, and all—I know I have a lot to learn, and in turn, more to love. That’s why I decided to ask celebrity manicurist Gina Edwards to teach me the proper way to do my own manicure at home. I figure, any advice on how to improve a ritual that already brings me joy will only amplify those good feelings. Here’s everything she taught me.

Step #1: File Away

File bare nails into your desired shape. If you’re unsure what shape you like best, Edwards suggests looking at the natural shape of your nail bed and mimicking it. For example, my nail beds are more round than square, so my nails suit a rounded edge best.

Tip! Try to file in one direction and avoid working in a back-and-forth motion. If you truly can’t fight the urge, make sure that your last few strokes are all in the same direction to keep the edge of your nail smooth, rather than jagged. Edwards recommends investing in a washable file, which you can—you guessed it—wash and reuse many times.

Step #2: Get Cute-icles

Cuticles are cutest when properly looked after. Apply a cuticle softening product, like Deborah Lippmann Cuticle Remover, to your nail beds, leave for a few seconds, then gently push back your cuticles using a sterilized cuticle pusher or an orange stick (with the tip lightly wrapped in cotton wool).

P.S. While some professional manicurists will trim your cuticles, this isn’t something you should try to do at home—in fact, some experts also suggest you steer clear of cuticle trimming in the salon too, due to potential damage and infection.

Step #3: Scrub ‘n’ Rub

To get a truly professional-feeling manicure, you should apply both an exfoliator and a moisturizing lotion—my personal faves are Aesop Reverence Aromatique Hand Wash, which includes fine pumice particles, and this Aesop hand balm, which I’ve written about before. It’s up to you how much time you spend giving yourself a hand massage, but I would recommend one that’s at least as long as an episode of Schitt’s Creek.

Step #4: Get Buff, Baby

Buff your nails all over, using a buffer with a 180-grit or higher, like these. These buffers are relatively soft and will keep you from accidentally damaging your nails. Once buffed, wipe your nails with a cotton round wetted with acetone-free nail polish remover. This will remove any lotion residue and get your nails ripe for the paintin’.

Step #5: Play the Base

Base coats protect your nails from being stained by nail polish (we’re all been there) and also help your manicure last longer so, yeah, you should use one! Apply one coat as you would any other nail polish.

Step #6: Choose Your Fighter (Color)

Next up, the arguably trickiest part of any manicure: painting. If you’re using a light- or bright-colored polish, Edwards recommends painting the tip of your nail first, before applying your first coat over the whole nail. This trick means you will have an extra light layer of polish covering the white of your nail.

If you’re using a darker polish, apply in three strokes: the first down the middle of the nail, then two on either side. Apply two coats. If you mess up, touch up your edges with a q-tip dipped in nail polish remover. For this manicure, we used Londontown Lakur in Piccadilly Square. I also love Essie Urban Jungle (a neutral cream) and Essie After School Boy Blazer (navy) when I’m wanting more neutral nails.

Step #7: Touch It Up and Top It Off

This final step is also one of the most important. Apply a glossy top coat like Essie Gel-Setter, which we used, to help your manicure last as long as possible and keep your color from fading.

And that’s it! May you and your fingertips relish this new knowledge and stun everyone who crosses your path with your perfectly painted pointers.

Photos by Cody Guilfoyle. Gyan wearing NAADAM sweater over Sleeper shirt and Jessica Biales rings.

The post How to Do Anything: Give Yourself a Perfect At-Home Manicure appeared first on Man Repeller.

5 Ways to Steal “Little Women” Style Without Looking Like an Extra in a Period Piece

I feel like I lived ten whole lifetimes waiting for ‘Little Women’ to hit theaters. And when it finally landed on December 25th, I was feverish for all 11 of my waking hours, my stomach in knots prior to the 7pm showing. My family could not get me to shut up about it. (This isn’t even sensationalized–call my mother if you want proof.)

Sweet, heavenly Greta Gerwig—she did not disappoint. I was transported through space and time to meet a new, emotionally rich cast portraying the March family and I felt as close to them as I did when I was 9 years old (when I thought I was a Jo and I was really just an Amy). And it seems most everyone agrees with me.

View this post on Instagram

Bold. Stunning. Perfect. From Writer/Director Greta Gerwig, #LittleWomenMovie now playing.

A post shared by Little Women (@littlewomenmovie) on Dec 30, 2019 at 1:00pm PST

But beyond the beauty, intelligence, and overpowering emotion–no joke, I’m crying as I type–transmitted through the screen, I was awestruck by the gorgeous costuming from Academy Award-winning costume designer Jacqueline Durran. The individual yet cohesive color palettes, the cheeky wardrobe-swapping between Jo and Laurie, and the volume from sleeve to skirt were all so lush that immediately after viewing I asked myself the obvious question: “Where the fuck is my waistcoat?”

I knew I wasn’t the only one who felt compelled to March it up, so I hurried to Instagram to ask the Man Repeller community for their LW style questions. And you delivered, like a cute little letter in the March/Laurence tree-trunk-mailbox, lol. Below are some of the most pressing questions you brought to the table, accompanied by my ideas on how to escort the finery of Greta Gerwig’s ‘Women’ to the year 2020.

1: Where Can I Get a Cute Little Cross-Body Sweater Wrap?

This was by far the most FA of the Qs. I admit I couldn’t stop looking at the human swaddles worn by Beth, Marmee, Jo, etc whenever they were on screen. How cozy? How practical?? After a little research, I found the closest possible thing ready for purchase from Aran Sweater Market: a wool/cashmere wrap. Alternatively, a knit infinity-scarf with a large loop that can be twisted around your waist and shoulders seems like a perfect fit over a billowy blouse.

[image error]
Turn on your JavaScript to view content


2. Oh, Where are Those Billowy Blouses Hiding, U Ask?

Many of you wanted to know where to get those Tim-as-Laurie sleeves. By the way, you know he styled himself for the film, right? It’s viscerally upsetting. Anyway, SLEEVES. Etsy is your girl for this. A quick search of “vintage romantic long-sleeve blouse” will yield a multitude of options. For example: Allow me to intro you to RAWSON, an Etsy shop that frequently sources romantic blouses. This one? Laurie’s screaming. This one for $26? Meg is green with envy.

The RealReal also has a bundle of billowy-sleeved options, like this one from Sandro or this Paco Rabanne tunic. If you’re partial to something with more of a modern twist, I recommend this statement-collar blouse from Ganni.

[image error]
Turn on your JavaScript to view content

As for styling tips, don’t be shy. A full romantic look does not need to be full Scarlett O’Hara. Worn with an eccentric mini skirt or a pair of trousers and a bundle of modern costume jewelry à la Leandra, you surely can achieve a look that says “I’m ALIVE in 2020.”

[image error]
Turn on your JavaScript to view content


3. Oh You Want to Wear It With a Waistcoat? Let’s Chat.

View this post on Instagram

Little women bts @littlewomenmovie out now

A post shared by Alessia Herrera (@alessiaherrera) on Dec 25, 2019 at 11:27am PST

One of the most tender aspects of Durran’s costuming, which Mallory was actually the first to point out to me (via this tweet), was the sharing of a certain brocade waistcoat in different scenes between Laurie and Jo. It was a small way to exhibit their profound closeness, as well as Jo’s free-spirited heart in choosing to dress differently from other young women of her time.

So, get yourself a damn waistcoat. Here’s a plaid one, a suede one, a tweed one, a velvet one and a brocade one. I plan to wear mine with one of the above romantic blouses, a skinny jean (yeah, I said it!!) and a tall boot. Capital.

[image error]
Turn on your JavaScript to view content


4. But, You’re More of an Amy or a Meg and a Waistcoat Seems Too, Idk, Boorish. Let’s Get Glam.

A few respondents asked for more ways to incorporate the ever-popular velvet ribbons into their wardrobes. Etsy is once again the response to your call. Velvet trimmings come in a multitude of colors, though I’m most partial to blush and olive and black. You can wrap one around your ponytail or weave it into a braid without being too precious. Depending on the length you choose, it can also function as a belt to a waisted dress, or the pussy bow/bow tie to your romantic blouse.

[image error]
Turn on your JavaScript to view content


5. BUT WAIT, What About Jo’s Glorious Green Writing Housecoat?

This was admittedly the most important article of clothing to me (other than Jo’s mini bowler hat which I will be searching for until death).

In Gerwig’s film, Jo wears a green military-style costume jacket whenever she writes. Depending on how committed you are, searching for “military lapel jacket” or “steampunk lapel jacket” will give you a variety of jackets worthy of Jo’s fantastical worlds, like this, this, this and this beauty, if you happen to have a million dollars. I recommend wearing à la Jo, with a classic sleepleisure dress that would make Beth proud, plus a pair of loafers.

[image error]
Turn on your JavaScript to view content

What’s the last thing you need to complete your March sister style? Probably a little blush, to capture the flush of their baked-to-perfection cheeks. (And let’s be honest… it’s probably Cloud Paint.) I would maybe (un)polish things off with a braid you’ve slept on all night.

Otherwise: Have I painted a vivid enough picture, for you? What else can I help you finesse re: March sister style so you don’t feel like a Civil War re-enactor? Just like Marmee, I’m here to cradle you emotionally in the comments.

Feature Photos via Sony Pictures.

The post 5 Ways to Steal “Little Women” Style Without Looking Like an Extra in a Period Piece appeared first on Man Repeller.

I Finally Found the Perfect Pair of Black Pants

Writer Anne Lamott famously wrote that “there really are places in the heart you don’t even know exist until you love a child.” I would argue, with only a slight degree of trepidatious hyperbole, that the same is true when you finally find a pair of perfect black pants.

I’ve been searching for the whole of my adult life for said pants, and although you could rightly point out that my adult life has been relatively short thus far, I can attest that it plods along at a practically glacial pace when the sum of its parts are dedicated to a quest for something that might not even exist. Perfect black pants? Psh. Life isn’t a fairytale. Adult life especially.

EXCEPT I FOUND THEM. I found the perfect pair of black pants, and realize I’ve probably reached the quota for number of times I’m allowed to say “perfect” in this story so here are some other adjectives I would use to describe AYR’s “Sizzle” trousers: sleek, comfortable, wrinkle-resistant, practical, and chic. If we’re going to throw even more cheerful descriptors at them, I would also say their split hem magically makes them look good with flats, boots, and heels alike, they feel like leggings while still looking professional, and they are wont to make an otherwise unremarkable human bottom resemble that of a statue sculpted by Michaelangelo.

I wore the pants to the office the day after I got them. I wore them to my fiancé’s work holiday party. I wore them to Thanksgiving dinner with my family. I wore them on a 3-hour plane ride. I wore them to the dentist. I wore them to a dingy bar on the Lower East Side. I wore them to a fancy restaurant. In other words, I wear them everywhere and all the time, and it’s starting to make me a little afraid. What if I spill bleach on them? What if I lose them? What if I tear them irreparably? What if all of these things happen concurrently and AYR coincidentally sells out of the pants in my size, or worse, stops producing them entirely? Paranoid, I know, but such is the power of perfect–sorry, impeccable–black pants. I would buy 10 backups right this second if it weren’t for their price; at $225, they aren’t cheap, but I can vouch for the worthwhileness of investing in at least one pair if it fits your budget given a) how often I wear them and b) how well they’ve held up throughout.

See All 1

I’m not the only mortal around these parts who can attest to their mystical allure. Shortly after I started sporting them regularly to work, Amalie and Haley secured a pair for themselves:

“I’ve struggled to find a perfect black pant for a long time—it’s very much a needle-in-a-haystack situation,” Amalie told me. “When I saw these on you the rise, fit, and shape just felt like what I’d been looking for forever. I was correct.”

Haley recalled a similar story of love at first sight: “I asked where they were from because they looked like an updated/better version of this Lou&Grey style I loved forever but which was losing its shape. You said they were AYR and possibly the best black pants you’ve ever owned, and I was sold.”

I take no credit for this influence. I am merely a vessel. Perhaps you are, too. Have you discovered your own version of the perfect black pants? Do us all a favor and share in the comments.

The post I Finally Found the Perfect Pair of Black Pants appeared first on Man Repeller.

Advice From Married Couples Who’ve Been Together for 1 to 56 Years

Love is patient, kind, etc. Love can also be hostile, messy in the figurative and literal senses, and often requires that you tolerate someone else’s propensity to stockpile quarter-full water glasses along their beside.

Nonetheless, having and holding and misplacing dishware all fall under the terms of traditional, pre-packaged marital vows. If we choose marriage, the promise is fairly standard: I’m here, I love you, I will not change my mind. Even in a generation preoccupied with questioning the sanctity of matrimony, for the most part, the vows still apply: Our relationships, government-sanctioned or otherwise, come with promises, concessions, and demands—the creation of a unique common ground.

So for those of us like me, struggling to make peace with the institution of marriage, I asked 10 couples—all of whom have been wedded anywhere from one to 56 years, including my own parents, Karin and Dave—about the relationship advice they’ve acquired over time. For richer or poorer, ’til death do them part, here’s what they had to say.

Alexis & Cole: 1 Year In

“Marriage makes me feel old. Most of our friends aren’t married yet so it feels like we made this big, crazy decision—all of a sudden, we’re all these years ahead of our friends and I really hate the distance that creates.

But even in this first year of marriage, I’m learning that one of the things we have to do to be happy is make time for our respective people. That way, they don’t start to feel even further away. It’s nice, obviously, to have other friends who are couples, and to do things with them as couples. But it feels super important that we also do things separately. I never want to be one of those couples that you 100% assume is always going to walk into a room together. And when we make time for other people, we don’t have to rely so much on each other. Then we get home from our own evenings or afternoons or weekends or whatever with our separate friends, and we’re so excited to see each other and recount things. It’s a good routine.” —Alexis

Claire & Dani: 3 Years In

“We had been living together for so many years before we actually got married, it didn’t feel like much of a shift. I guess we were committed in a way that didn’t require the whole ceremony. To be honest, the wedding was just for fun. We had a great time. And that’s what my advice is all about: I think it’s so important for couples to do things together.

In married life, it can be tempting to put in minimal effort because your lives are sort of built-in together—but going out on date nights and exploring together is still important.

While we’re still young and we don’t have serious roots tying us down anywhere, it’s good and joyful to travel, and explore, and go to museums, and go out to eat. In married life, it can be tempting to put in minimal effort because your lives are sort of built-in together—but going out on date nights and exploring together is still important. Shared experience is such a big part of what makes a relationship strong.” —Dani

Simon & Ben: 6 Years In

“A big part of marriage is support. We both have different professions in the arts and it can be tough to not feel competitive or disheartened when either one of us is enjoying more success than the other at any given time. But the best thing we can give one another is true, honest support—we show up for each other and praise each other’s work and share it to the best of our abilities. Our most serious fights have been about our inability to show up for each other in this way, and knowing that, we both make it a priority. That’s one of those things that’s made us really happy as a couple.” —Ben

Raquel & Hannah: 11 Years In

“I’m sure everyone you asked has said this, but I’d say the most important part of keeping a marriage alive is communication. We’re just starting our first journey as parents together, and deciding that we wanted to have a child, and what our values were as parents, and how we wanted to go about raising a baby, was such a formative experience for us. In order to feel like we’re both happy and solid and approaching parenthood in a way that makes us comfortable, we have really spent time talking to each other about what we want and what we imagine and what we need from each other, and all of these conversations have made us feel closer than we ever have before. We’re already talking about the next child and I’m so excited.” —Raquel

Kate & Brendan: 17 Years In

“It’s crazy to think that we’ve been married for 17 years. How did that happen so quickly? I think, as parents, and as a married couple, the most important advice I have is that you and your spouse should both have your own hobbies or interests or things that you’re genuinely excited about. Brendan takes a writing workshop, and I have a membership at a ceramics studio. As of late, I belong to a book club, and I love it (wow, I sound so old). This makes it so we both get to feel like our worlds are bigger than just our shared home. I think that’s a good way of making sure we don’t feel stifled or inhibited.” —Kate

Karin & Dave: 28 Years In

“Choose what to focus on. Human beings have a natural bias toward negativity. We tend to focus on what’s not working and take for granted what is. This is a recipe for disaster in relationships. As a couples therapist, I’m often reminding my clients that partnerships thrive on positive reinforcement, gratitude, appreciation, and love—and they flounder when criticism, complaints, and requests for change predominate. Chances are, your partner is a mix of qualities you love and qualities you don’t. Spend more time thinking about, enjoying, appreciating, being grateful for, and acknowledging all the good qualities he or she possesses.

Also: Make requests instead of complaints. Express your needs rather than telling your spouse how they screwed up. Apologize. Genuinely and sincerely. Practice acceptance. Not always and for everything, but generally. You don’t always have to like qualities and behaviors to accept them. Be vulnerable. Talk about your feelings of fear, anger, mistrust, hurt, disappointment…. Is that enough?” —Karin

“28 years ago, when we first got married, I don’t think I had any idea what I was really agreeing to. After raising three children, buying a house, changing careers, growing older, losing parents, having friendships wax and wane, I’m not the same person I was then. I know my wife isn’t either. So I guess the thing I’ve really learned is how to stay connected through great changes.

We’re like parallel lines, running side by side. We’re moving together, but on different planes, so in a sense, the imperative is simple: ‘Keep up!’

I think if either of us had become fixed points, the ‘spark’ would have been hard to hold onto. So my advice to you is about the necessity—and the excitement—of constant change. We’re like parallel lines, running side by side. We’re moving together, but on different planes, so in a sense, the imperative is simple: ‘Keep up!’

I trust that I’ll be with her for the rest of my life, which is maybe a more profound thing to say than that original ‘I do.’ I trust this because I trust her, I trust that she sees the world in a similar way. I trust that she will not be the same person in 10 more years and neither will I—and I can’t wait to find out what our relationship will look like then.” —Dave

Dan & Carol: 29 Years In

“Essential to us (and to couples at any stage) is time together. Seems obvious but I’m shocked at how often we fail to prioritize this. You need time for all the dynamics of a marriage to play out… connection, fighting, making up (not a given), talk both important and trivial, silence, love, collaboration, sabotage, repair, healing. A corollary to the ‘time-together’ suggestion, though, is finding ways to have fun together. Find activities that you both enjoy (biking, hiking, museums, travel, games, art) and do them. Together.

I pay attention when Carol does something that surprises me. It reminds me that after all our years together, she remains a mystery with territories unknown. At the same time, no pedestals allowed. Deep love and respect have to go in combination with accepting all the flaws and irrationality that go along with being human.

Accept a medium-sized collection of irreconcilable differences and try to find ways to cope with them. By definition, you won’t resolve them. You’ll just figure out a way to move on (for a time). When you circle back (and you will), try to remember what you did to move on: perspective, forgiveness, understanding. Again, the idea isn’t to fix it, just to find a way to move forward.

Marriage is like any deeply satisfying endeavor in life. What you get out depends on what you put in.

The length of a marriage matters. You change over time. Your spouse changes over time. The relationship changes over time. The years will fuse you together in ways that are difficult to explain. Marriage is like any deeply satisfying endeavor in life. What you get out depends on what you put in. If you throw yourself in and let the process challenge you and change you, you and your spouse and your marriage will be the better for it.

Also, it’s important to go to bed mad. This goes double if your spouse is a morning person. The conversation will almost always go better in the morning.” —Dan

Tara & Steve: 29 Years In

“We were watching High Fidelity the other week and we were talking about the whole ‘Top 5’ theme that runs through the film. After the movie, Steve told me the top 5 things he loved about me. One of them was that I always apologize first.

For years, I’ve been somewhat resentful of the fact that, when we fight, I’m always the one to apologize first. But he admitted that this was something that was really difficult for him and he loved that I helped him to do it (he’s always able to apologize AFTER I do). This sort of changed everything for me. I now have this totally different feeling about apologizing first. I think resentment has been converted into pride. So maybe the secret is to tell each other what you love and appreciate about one another, no matter how many years it’s been.” —Tara

Daniel & Lois: 56 Years

“Lois and I were married for 56 years. She passed away four years ago, but they were a perfect 56 years. I like to think I was a good, committed husband for all of them. I know she was a wonderful wife. I think a good marriage is very simple:

1) Be kind and attentive always

2) Be compromising

3) Love your job, and do it well

This works for both members of the marriage. And, yes, an occasional martini will keep your love strong.” —Daniel

Quotes have been edited & condensed for clarity

Graphics by Coco Lashar

The post Advice From Married Couples Who’ve Been Together for 1 to 56 Years appeared first on Man Repeller.

Why Is Everyone Extra Horny for Soup These Days?

Is it just me or are people hornier for soup than ever? This pressing question first bubbled up about a month ago, when I texted a friend I was meeting for dinner about where she’d like to go and she responded, “idk but I NEED soup.” We ended up going to a ramen spot in the West Village where I witnessed people alternate between photographing their steaming bowls and inhaling slippery noodles so sensually it made me feel like the whole scene should have been rated R.

A few days later, I was riding the subway when I inadvertently eavesdropped on a conversation between two women:

“So,” said woman #1, eyes glowing conspiratorially. “I finally made the stew.”

“OMG! How was it?” said woman #2, clasping her hands in the universal gesture of love, support, and encouragement.

“Amazinggggg,” said woman #1, smiling knowingly.

The fact that they could refer to a stew as the stew with an implicit understanding of exactly what was being discussed is telling in its own right. The fact that I, a perfect stranger, immediately knew they were talking about Alison Roman’s viral recipe for Spiced Chickpea Stew With Coconut and Turmeric and not talking in code about having sex for the first time is a whole other level of evidence vis-à-vis soup culture’s modern frenzy.

If you type #thestew into Instagram, over 5,000 posts of a creamy yellow concoction will appear on your phone screen. If you type the keyword “soup” into Google, you’ll be treated to a bevy of delightful headlines such as, “Soup. Season.”, “Point/Counterpoint”: Is Soup a Meal?, and “Taco Bell Wants You to Blend Its Tacos Into a Soup for Thanksgiving.” If you walk past the ghost of Dean & Deluca on Broadway in SoHo you’ll likely hear a passerby bemoaning the loss of one of the neighborhood’s most reliable destinations for drinkable workday lunches. If you follow Vera Papisova, Director of Content and Education at Arfa, on social media, you’re likely privy to her #SoupIsTea hashtag. It’s typically accompanied by photos of her drinking soup out of a mug and superseded by multiple screenshots of her followers enthusiastically participating in the movement.

“I’m Russian, so I grew up eating a lot of Russian soups, like borscht, and my mom always gave me broth when I was sick,” Vera told me over email. “I noticed bone broth as a wellness trend in 2015 … and suddenly, bone broth started being served in coffee to-go cups around NYC, which I actually love, but the trend caused a lot of drama—experts argued over the actual health benefits of it.” She went on to explain that the tradition of making broth from animal bones has roots in ancient Chinese medicine, wherein different broths have different medicinal purposes. Since bone broth has started trending in the U.S., she’s noticed that more and more companies are treating soup like a drink—bottling it up so people can consume it the same way they would a juice.

“#SoupIsTea came about a few years ago, when I worked in an office that shall not be named (it was Vogue),” she said when I asked about how her niche-viral hashtag came about. “In one of my first weeks there, we all got an email from the Vogue fashion closet about how someone made popcorn in the kitchen, and it was making the gowns smell because the kitchen and the fashion closet were right next to each other. The email told us to be mindful of food that smelled strongly because it wasn’t professional for cover stars to have to wear gowns that smelled like our lunch, but the joke became that we weren’t allowed to make any food in the kitchen (which was really dramatic but hilarious for obvious reasons). Anyway, I continued to make soup (one of my favorite snacks), and I started saying that soup is tea and not food.”

Such is the richly varied texture of soup culture on the cusp of 2020–to some, it’s tea, to others, it’s prime Instagram content, or a liquid poem, or the culinary equivalent of a steamy love affair. Most recently, thanks to none other than Baby Yoda, it’s also meme fodder:

Baby Yoda and his soup is the new sipping tea meme. I’ve said it. pic.twitter.com/pxPTd8kxEw

— Mando the Bounty Hunter (@AdoptedBabyYoda) November 29, 2019

Needless to say, when a recent episode of The Mandalorian included a short scene of the internet’s favorite fictional infant imbibing soup, a freakout ensued–resulting in the debut of a Baby Yoda soup-drinking doll, not to mention multiple dedicated news stories about the incident.

“All we wanted to do was a zillion takes of how Baby was going to drink his soup,” the episode’s director Bryce Dallas Howard told E! News. “Would he drink it with one hand? With two hands? Sipping it a lot? Sipping it a little bit?”

I could personally discuss the nuances of these questions all day, and I’ve never even watched The Mandalorian. I am merely a speck of human dust upon this earth, no match for the combined allure of both the cutest CGI creation in the history of television and a bowl of what I can only hope is split pea, but in my humble opinion it can’t be a coincidence that the creators behind the show chose soup as Baby Yoda’s scene-stealing meal of choice. They knew exactly what they were doing: formulating the most potent sequence of digital catnip in the history of media.

I’m calmly awaiting the inevitable next phase in soup mania’s trajectory in which a New York City spa starts offering full-body soup dips as a replacement for traditional steam baths and Buzzfeed releases a quiz about what your favorite soup says about you. Until then, I’m off to get a half pint of lentil for lunch.

Photos by Jessica Pettway.

Prop Styling by Sara Schipani.

Art Direction by Lorenza Centi.

The post Why Is Everyone Extra Horny for Soup These Days? appeared first on Man Repeller.