What Happens When Missed Connections Work Out (Or Really Don’t)

Despite the fact that it employs modern technology, there’s something charmingly old-fashioned about Craigslist Missed Connections. If it weren’t online, it could just as easily be a lonely hearts bulletin board in the town square—an enduring social resource that proves there’s a little romance left in all of us. I recently typed it into my browser after a friend told me it was defunct and experienced a ridiculous wave of relief when I found it still alive and kicking. Just that day, 70 people had posted looking for someone they’d seen in New York, and it was only noon. (Almost half of them were smut, but still.)

Curious to know if anyone in my orbit had actually found an ad about themselves, or put one up in search of another, I asked my social network to send me stories. I received a flood of anecdotes so delightful, haunting, and funny I couldn’t help but share them. Some proved the tool could use an update (or a replacement—one recommended Lex for the queer community), and others reminded me how glad I am that there’s still recourse when someone memorable gets away.

The One With the Happy Ending

“Ten years ago I had just moved into my first apartment in the East Village, and my dad, who worked uptown, called to say he’d bought me a vacuum cleaner, and that I should come pick it. So I went up to get it and he handed me this huge box and gave me $20 for a taxi. Of course I thanked him for both but opted to pocket the $20 and take the subway. I struggled on the 6 train with my vacuum and got in a fight about it and was all flustered because it was heavier and more cumbersome than I imagined.

Then, on my walk home, I accidentally brushed the bags of this homeless man who lived in my neighborhood and he got super upset and started screaming at me. I meekly said I was sorry, which only upset him more so he started following me. I tried to speed up but the box I was struggling because the box was so awkward, and when I finally got to my door he’d caught up and was getting more agitated, swinging his arms around. I was sure he was going to hit me when this guy in a red scarf rode by on his bike and immediately pulled over and put himself between me and the guy. I was near tears then and didn’t know what to do, but the guy on the bike turned around and told me to get inside and we made this eye contact for just a minute that I can still remember.I went up all five flights fully crying.

I was just alone in my apartment distraught, and suddenly it crystallized how cute the guy was and how he, ya know, ‘saved my life.’ So I went on Craigslist and wrote a Missed Connection: ‘Guy on bike saves girl with luggage East Village.’ A few hours later I got some positively lewd replies and thought of taking the post down when suddenly in my inbox was the dorkiest and sweetest email. A week later we had our first date. A few months later we were moving in together and a few years later we were married. I guess while he was explaining the story to his coworkers, one of them said, ‘Hey you should check Missed Connections. I mean, if you were ever to get one it would be for this.'”

—Caitlin, 33

The Ones That Went Horribly Wrong

“I convinced my roommate to write one back in 2011, after she met a random guy at a bar—and of course he was the type to check Missed Connections. They went out and things escalated quickly. Turns out he had just arrived in the city, was homeless, and was trying to get a busking license—that was his only plan. He became really intense really quickly (like in the span of two days). She cut things off soon after but then he began sending wild conspiracy messages to her on Facebook equating her not talking to him to the fact that 9/11 was an inside job. Also, my other roommate and I were talking about it once, being paranoid that he had somehow planted microphones in our unit, and then an hour later he posted something on her Facebook page along those lines.