David S. Atkinson's Blog, page 226

Facebook Announces That All Other Essential Functions Will Be Split Off Into Other Apps As Well

Users have been complaining about Facebook’s recent decision to soon remove messages from their mobile app and shift them entirely over to the Facebook Messenger app. However, Facebook apparently commented recently that: “Users haven’t seen anything yet.”

According to the supposed comments, Facebook intends to split off all essential Facebook functions from their mobile app and put each into a separate, dedicated app. Soon to be released include the Facebook News Feed app (separate versions for most recent and top stories), Facebook Groups app, Facebook Status Update app, Facebook View Your Own Wall app, Facebook Post Pictures app, Facebook View Pictures app, Facebook View the Picture You Just Posted app, and more.

“Hell,” a Facebook spokesperson allegedly remarked, “the only thing that is going to be left on the actual mobile app will be ads. Only, you’ll still have to have it for the other apps to work. Enjoy!”

User’s were reportedly furious, but no one paid any more attention to them than normal…certainly not Facebook. Friendster supposedly asked if anyone missed it yet. MySpace was reported to merely giggle at the news.

A Very Writerly Monday

I’m usually not fonder of Mondays than anyone else, but this last Monday was particularly writerly for me.

First I got word that my story “The Las Vegas Strip Disappeared This Morning” was accepted for publication by Smashed Cat Magazine. It should be up on their main page 9/9/14 so keep your eye out for that (note: no actual cats are harmed in the making of their magazine).

That was cool enough. An acceptance always brightens my day. However, I then got word that my story “Somebody Misplaced Montana” was accepted for the upcoming September issue of Used Gravitrons (keep an eye out for that as well). Two acceptances in one day! Extremely cool, and extremely writerly.

I’m not sure I’ve ever had two acceptances in one day before. Add to that the fact that the Gravitron was one of my favorite fair/carnival/amusement park rides ever and it was a very writerly Monday.

Instead Of A Post Today Let’s Look At This Pic Of Macho Man Randy Savage

Instead of an actual post today, let’s just look at this pic of Macho Man Randy Savage:

Ooooh yeaaaaa!

Facebook Makes Their Mobile App Suck More

Dear Facebook: Please don’t deliberately make your mobile app suck worse than it already does. Thanks.

This is the only way I can describe the strategy currently being implemented to remove the messages feature from the mobile app and force people to utilize the separate Facebook messaging app instead. Whatever the reasons are for you doing this, they aren’t good enough.

It took long enough for me to finally install your mobile app. I was already hesitant enough about that, and now you want to take away some of its functionality. I never did install the messenger app, and probably will resist that as well. I don’t want to be constantly messaging people. I use it primarily as a type of centralized email. I’ll probably just wait to answer and/or send Facebook messages when I’m using the non-mobile app.

Given that, all you’ve done (with respect to me personally) is tick me off and make your mobile app less useful. There’s a chance it may prompt me to use the Facebook messenger app someday, but it doesn’t seem likely. My Facebook messages just aren’t that urgent right now. Oh, and you’ve pushed me just that much more toward being willing to try the next social media craze that might one day replace Facebook. One will someday.

Of course, this is just another schmuck ranting angrily about Facebook. Even I’m bored by that. And, of course, Facebook won’t care either way. Why should Facebook listen?

I just wanted to rant to feel even a little better about this minor annoyance, since there isn’t much more to do about it.

Congrats Again To The Summer 2014 UNMFA In Writing Graduates!

I already posted a congratulations message on Facebook, but I wanted to take a moment again to congratulate the summer 2014 UNMFA in writing graduates. So…congrats!

I was fortunate enough to be there on Saturday to see them graduate. I realized that I’ve actually been fortunate enough to be able to be there to visit and see the last four classes graduate. That was pretty cool, but I got to thinking.

I graduated back in summer of 2010. I managed to attend the two graduations immediately after I graduated, and then missed the next two. However, I then managed to hit the last four. Students attend five residencies as part of the program. If I attend the next one, the graduating class will have seen me visit at each one of their residencies in the program.

That would be really cool. Just an odd little tidbit and not really important to anyone but me, but still really cool.

I’m really going to try to make the residency session this winter.

Stop Sharing Pictures Of Bill Gates

Bill Gates has something to say to all of you who have been sharing that image of him on Facebook that purports that he’s going to give you $5000 for your sharing:

Riffing On Share A Diet Coke With Zuul

I’ve been seeing the “share a Coke with”/”share a Diet Coke with” campaign recently. I don’t entirely know what the campaign is, but I gather it’s a campaign where they print someone’s name on a Coke/Diet Coke/whatever and encourage you to share it with someone named that. The one that got my attention was:

This is of course funny to every Ghostbusters fan, since “There is no Dana, there is only Zuul.” But, I got to thinking of various quotes from Ghostbusters and how they could be modified with Coke:

- Winston Zeddemore: Ray, when someone asks you if you’d like to buy the world a Coke, you say “YES”!

- Janine Melnitz: Do you want some Coke, Mr. Tulley? Louis: [to Egon] Do I? Dr. Egon Spengler: Yes, have some. Louis: [to Janine] Yes, have some.

- Dr Ray Stantz: Symmetrical Coke stacking. Just like the Philadelphia mass turbulence of 1947. Dr. Peter Venkman: You’re right, no human being would stack Coke like this.

- Dr. Egon Spengler: I’m worried, Ray. It’s getting crowded in there and all my data points to something big on the horizon. Winston Zeddemore: What do you mean, big? Dr. Egon Spengler: Well, let’s say this Coke represents the normal amount of psychokinetic energy in the New York area. Based on this morning’s sample, it would be a Coke… thirty-five feet tall, weighing approximately six hundred pounds.

- Dr Ray Stantz: I tried to think of the most harmless thing. Something I loved from my childhood. Something that could never ever possibly destroy us. Coke! Dr. Peter Venkman: Nice thinkin’, Ray.

See how easy it is to alter these? The campaign may not influence my purchases of Coke and/or various Coke products, but I’m at least having fun with this aspect of the campaign.

Edward Bellamy Scoffs At New “Utopia” Show on Fox

Edward Bellamy (1850 – 1898), author of the utopian science fiction novel Looking Backward, reportedly recently scoffed upon being informed of the new Utopia show on Fox. “Who are they trying to kid?” Bellamy purportedly asked.

Reports indicate that the show is to take a number of people, isolate them, and let them develop their own mini society and try to govern themselves. Though the show is titled Utopia, Bellamy was apparently skeptical that the show would have anything to do with the concept indicated thereby.

“There’s going to be nothing utopian about it. Believe me, I know utopia,” Bellamy supposedly commented. “Just thrown together like that? They’re going to fight. Worse, you know the producers don’t even want utopia. They WANT fighting. How else will they get ratings? Even if they get utopia, the producers will screw it up so they can get everyone back to fighting again.”

H.G. Wells (1866 – 1946), author of A Modern Utopia, reportedly disagreed, but focused the majority of his arguments on Bellamy himself. “That Ed,” Wells quipped, “he’s such a pessimist.”

Does Your State Have A Village Inn?

I’ve mentioned before that it was only after I wrote The Garden of Good and Evil Pancakes that I realized that some people in the United States were unfamiliar with Village Inn. However, sometimes people mentioned this and I realized there were Village Inns in their area. They just hadn’t been there.

As such, there is a list of all US states that currently have a Village Inn (even today after things have shrunk a bit since the 80s and 90s):

- Washington

- Oregon

- Alaska

- Wyoming

- Utah

- Arizona

- New Mexico

- Colorado

- Texas

- Oklahoma

- Kansas

- Nebraska

- North Dakota

- Minnesota

- Iowa

- Missouri

- Arkansas

- Illinois

- Tennessee

- Florida

See if there’s one near you.

Rick Perry: Just Saying

Just saying, consider:

then:

If we make fun of Clark Kent/Superman for it….