David S. Atkinson's Blog, page 225

I Bought A Shirt That Says (In French) That I Don’t Speak French

I bought a shirt that says, in French, that I don’t speak french. I suppose I should explain.

My wife has been at a grad school session for her masters in french for about the last six weeks. As part of the program, she is only allowed to speak french while in the program except for isolated, rare cases (such as where she calls me from the privacy of her dorm room and makes sure the other students can’t hear her, which is good because otherwise our conversations would be a bit confusing for me). I’m going to go out to pick her up soon on her final day. However, I will arrive before the students are released from their language pledge. I’ll be hanging around her dorm, full of very friendly students who are all only allowed to speak french until a banquet that evening.

As such, I bought this shirt to wear that day:

As you can see, it says: “Je suis le mari de Shannon. Je ne parle pas français, mais j’ai hâte de vous parler après le banquet.” Roughly translated, this means: “I am the husband of Shannon. I do not speak French, but I can not wait to talk to you after the banquet.”

Yup, I’m going to wear that shirt all day. This just seemed like a fun idea.

Amazon Apparently Decided Their Public Image Was Too Good

Apparently, Amazon decided that their public image was too good. From the looks of it, they decided to try something that would generally (as I’ve seen things so far) make them look completely foolish. Take that too good public image down a peg or two. I am, of course, talking about the Amazon letter.

For those who don’t know, Amazon supposedly sent out emails trying to get people to put pressure on Hachette regarding their dispute. The response that I’ve seen to the letter has been overwhelmingly negative. Even the people who aren’t on Hachette’s side on the dispute seem to view the letter poorly. The best reaction, from a pro Amazon perspective, appears to be the people who merely make fun of the letter.

Regardless, this did not apparently go well for Amazon.

Personally, I find the whole thing funny.

This is the sort of thing that a company can pull off when they have a lot of people feeling good about the company, but that just isn’t Amazon’s situation right now. Their business is doing dandy, but the sentiment out there seems kind of nasty most of the time. Other than to make themselves look worse, I just can’t see why they did it. They had to know it wasn’t going to go the way the letter seemed to hope.

E! Is Wrong When It Thinks I Won’t Look At “Saved By The Bell” The Same Way After The Documentary

E! apparently thinks that I won’t look at Saved by the Bell the same way after Lifetime’s Unauthorized Saved by the Bell Story. Personally, I think that’s ridiculous. After all, I don’t look at Saved by the Bell at all anymore.

Sure, I admit that I used to watch Saved by the Bell when I was younger. I remember it with a certain fondness purely out of nostalgia. However, I thought the show was pretty lame then. I certainly don’t watch it anymore.

Lifetime seems to think that I’ll be shocked that the stars hated each other. I don’t know why that would be a surprise. A lot of the cast kind of creeped me out. I don’t know why it would be a shock that they got on each other’s nerves in addition to ours.

Regardless, I’m probably not going to watch this documentary any more than I still watch the show. I don’t know if it’s on somewhere in syndication or not, but I could always get the DVDs if I wanted. One thing I know for sure is that I do not want that.

I Can’t Help Cheering For Anthony Stallard

I can’t help cheering for Anthony Stallard. This guy was fined and given a suspended sentence for pretending to be a ghost in a cemetery. The charge was ” threatening or abusive words or behaviour likely to cause distress.” Apparently, the court felt this was inappropriate while grieving mourners were around. I still can’t help but cheer.

I’m sorry, this is funny. I’m sure I wouldn’t have found it as funny if I was there grieving while he was “making ‘woooooooh’ noises and waving his arms about in [the] cemetery,” but I wasn’t…so I do.

Of course, I can only cheer the guy so much. Apparently Stallard was already on conditional release for harassment and assault charges. I don’t know what that was all about, but I’m restricting the cheering because he might actually be a complete a-hole.

Still, the pretending to be a ghost thing was funny.

Midday Getaways Tick Me Off

My office building has these displays, including in the elevators, where passersby are shown various news items, ads, and other things. I think I’ve mentioned these before. One thing they occasionally show are pictures of beautiful foreign places (usually beaches). They’re referred to as “Midday Getaways.” I don’t know what function they’re supposed to serve, but they tick me off.

I mean, they aren’t coupled with contact information for a resort, travel agent, or anything like that. If they’re trying to sell me on a vacation package, they’d probably want to do that. Still, even if that’s what these things are supposed to do, they don’t work. If I could take such a vacation I already would have booked it. If I can’t, they just tick me off that I can’t go to such a magical place and am instead stuck where I’m at.

It’s not like the idea of a magical vacation never occurred to me and they merely need to suggest it to get things rolling.

They could just be trying to break my mind away from the office for a moment, go for the psychological benefit of briefly imagining me in the magical place instead of the office. However, I think the crushing realization that I’m not actually in the magical place and won’t be going there anytime soon is a psychological detriment that far outweighs any benefit conveyed.

Really, I don’t know why these things are shown on the displays. I just know that they tick me off.

My Own Personal 1930’s Bank Crisis

I had my own personal little 1930’s bank crisis the other day. I went to go to my closest bank, the one on the corner of the same block my office is in. I just wanted to use the ATM, but it’s inside the bank lobby. However, the door didn’t open. I looked through the window. The place was completely empty.

I mean totally empty, not just closed. The desks were gone. Everything was gone.

This was really weird, since I’d just used that atm in the lobby a few days before. It was all normal then. Nothing being packed up, no notices about the location closing. There might have been SOMETHING, but I didn’t notice it if so…not that I necessarily would have.

For just a moment, it reminded me of the bank crisis of the 1930’s, banks suddenly closing their doors due to failure to have enough funds for a sudden withdrawal panic. Of course, that was only for a moment, because it was just my favored location that was closed. There was a note on the door about a location I should go to instead about a half mile away or so (this is downtown, after all).

Still, just for that moment, it seemed like my bank had scampered off in the night. It was weird. Luckily, I didn’t panic.

I Keep Thinking Of Altered Beast Whenever I See The Term ‘Alt Lit’

For some reason, I keep thinking of Altered Beast whenever I see a mention of alt lit. This is probably not an appropriate response, but it’s the way things are for me.

Many of you probably remember the game. It was one of my favorite Sega games ever. I don’t remember too much of the specifics behind the story, but I remember you play a dead guy who is brought back to life to stop some evil creature. During play, you get a chance to turn into a werewolf, a dragon, and a bear.

I’m not sure why I keep thinking of this when I see the term ‘alt lit,’ but I do.

Literature…rise from your grave!

Actually, this may not be that inappropriate. I have trouble imagining much is inappropriate as far as reactions to alt lit go. I’m sure someone would disagree with me on that, but I probably won’t listen too much.

I Haven’t Had McDonald’s In About Five Weeks

I haven’t had McDonald’s in about five weeks. That might not be a big deal to you, but it’s significant to me. It feels weird.

My wife and I eat out quite a bit. Usually around five times a week. However, she’s been out at her grad school session out of state for about five weeks now. We stocked me up well at home before she left, but it’s been whatever I make for myself at home since then. Frozen egg rolls. Lean pockets. Canned soup. Reduced fat kettle chips. Baked Cheetos. Frozen dinners.

I haven’t had McDonald’s in what feels like a long time now. The only time I’ve eaten out recently was the three meals I had in the dining room of the Lied Lodge when visiting the UNMFA program for graduation. It’s all stuff at home other than that.

No Domo.

No Yak & Yeti.

No Queen of Sheba.

No Star Kitchen.

No Pho 88.

No China Jade.

No Village Inn.

No Pete’s Kitchen.

No Voodoo Doughnuts.

No Breakfast King.

No Sugar Mill.

It’s not like I couldn’t get to most of those places. I can get there even though my wife has the car at grad school, but I just don’t go to restaurants by myself. I eat at home instead. Eating has gotten kind of boring.

Good thing this will only go on for about another week.

 

Life Hack: Did you know?

Did you know that you can remove grape juice stains from beige carpeting by soaking the spot in brake fluid and then covering it in baking soda? That the transmission fluid bonds to the grape juice, pulling it down below the carpet surface, and that the baking soda pulls it all back up again where it can easily be vacuumed away?

Well, you can’t. I just asked if you knew. I never said that it was correct.

In fact, I have no idea what would happen if you tried to do this. I’m willing to bet you’d completely ruin the carpet instead of just having a grape juice stain, though I don’t know precisely for sure.

Hopefully you read beyond the first paragraph and didn’t try this.

A Kickstarter That Baffles Me A Bit

There have been plenty of kickstarters recently that have seemed a bit odd. I think there was even one to support someone making potato salad. Regardless, the one I just saw to develop treats you can share with your dog baffles me.

I mean…are there a lot of people who want to share treats with their dog? I’ve never had a dog, but I have cats and I’ve never wanted to share treats with them. I give them treats, but I’m fine eating other things than they do.

Is it really that much of a problem to have two sets of snacks? Do people really need to have this kind of a shared snack bonding experience with their pets?

Apparently somebody does…and they want to raise $4300 to make that happen.

Besides, I’ve known people who’d already tried eating normal dog treats. Sure, the existing ones might not taste the best to humans…but I’m not thinking most people who are willing to eat dog treats are that concerned about the taste.

Still, if they want to do this, I wish them well. Just because it baffles me doesn’t mean it isn’t legitimately important to them. I just don’t see it, though.