David S. Atkinson's Blog, page 230

I Wonder What Andre Dubus III Would Think Of “The Garden of Good and Evil Pancakes”

I Wonder What Andre Dubus III Would Think Of The Garden of Good and Evil Pancakes.

http://www.amazon.com/The-Garden-Good-Evil-Pancakes/dp/0692200770

You may wonder why he occurs to me specifically, but I went to a reading he was doing a while back for his book Townie at the Tattered Cover on Colfax. While he was signing some of his books for me, he happened to notice my UNMFA in Writing shirt. He asked what I wrote.

I’ve always been weirded out by that kind of a question, but I told him the working title of the novel I was then working on, The Garden of Good and Evil Pancakes. He repeated it back to me, as if he was unable to believe that was the title.

As such, I wonder what he’d actually think of the book itself. I’d love to find out. I’d even send him a free copy if I thought he was interested in reading. Of course, I have no idea where I’d send it even if I thought he was interested. I just wonder.

Arguing With Mel Brooks

I was thinking about one of my favorite Mel Books quotes ever today. It’s the one from History of the World: Part I and is, of course, “It’s good to be the king.” However, then I started thinking about that. I’m afraid I might have to disagree with Mel.

Just think about these kings:

- Louis XVI of France: executed by means of the guillotine in 1793

- Charles I of England: beheaded in 1649 only to have his head later sewn back onto his body

- Harold Godwinson, or Harold II: killed by four knights and brutally dismembered (possibly shot in the eye with an arrow)

- Vercingetorix: paraded through the streets of Rome before being executed (probably by strangulation in prison)

- Servius Tullius: murdered by his daughter Tullia and his son-in-law Tarquinius Superbus (allegedly Tarquinius threw him down some steps and had men murder him before Tullia drove her chariot over her father’s body)

See? It isn’t always good to be the king. Sometimes it can be downright sucky.

Let’s Recite The Erisian Audacity Prayer

In the spirit of Discordianism, I think today is a good time to recite the Erisian audacity prayer. I know Discordians seldom, if ever pray, but whatever:

Eris: grant me the audacity to try to change the things I cannot change,

the apathy to skip changing the things I can,

and the ignorance to think there’s a difference.

Franco franco franco franco franco….

Franco.

Franco franco franco franco franco franco franco franco franco franco franco franco franco franco franco franco franco franco franco franco franco franco franco franco franco franco franco franco franco franco franco franco franco franco franco franco franco franco franco franco franco franco franco franco franco franco franco franco franco franco franco franco franco.

Franco franco franco franco franco. Franco, franco franco franco? Franco franco franco; franco franco franco franco franco.

 

F

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Franco!

Controversy Over Franco’s Decision To Become Physicist And Pursue Grand Unified Theory

Controversy again surrounds James Franco as he reportedly announced his decision to become a physicist and pursue the Grand Unified Theory. Inside sources report that Franco will be pursuing a PhD in physics from the Indian Institutes of Technology and will then use that as a base to study the Grand Unified Theory. Some physicists are reportedly in an uproar over the announcement, whereas others don’t see this as a bad thing or possibly even a big deal.

Opposing physicists allege that Franco is using his money and power to improperly gain entrance into and influence the study of physics. It has been alleged that Franco used pull to even be allowed to study at the Indian Institutes of Technology and that his pull will be subsequently used to unfairly gain advantages in obtaining physics research positions, grants, research publications and so forth. “Frankly,” one upset physicist commented, “physics just isn’t going to be fair with Franco throwing his weight around.”

Others, however, are less antagonistic to Franco‘s new interest in physics. “Hey,” one laid back physicist commented, “I’m in this for the love of the universe, modeling it, and attempting to explain it. Why would I try to stop Franco from loving it too? I don’t think much of Franco‘s physics knowledge or skills at this point, but I’ve been trying to convince others that physics is great my whole life. Let Franco do physics if he wants to.”

Still other physicists just don’t care. Busy with their study, they reportedly could care less if Franco muscles his way into the field or not. “I’ve got more important things to do than worry about that,” a busy physicist stated.

The full impact of Franco on physics remains to be seen and anything more would be pure speculation. As theoretical as much of physics may or may not be, it’s just too early at the moment to say whether Franco in physics will be a good thing, a bad thing, or somewhere in between.

Can A Story Referencing Herb From The Eighties Burger King Promotion Work?

I drafted up a story recently that I was pretty pleased with. However, there was an aspect that gave me pause. Can a story that makes use of a reference to a mid-eighties advertising campaign work? Is this too obscure anymore?

Just so you know, I’m talking about the 85-86 Burger King Herb advertising campaign:

For those who weren’t born yet or don’t remember, the idea was supposed to be that there was this dorky guy Herb who’d never had a Burger King burger. An actor portraying him was supposed to wander into a Burger King somewhere. If you spotted him, you got $5000. Also, everyone in the restaurant at the time was entered in a drawing for $1,000,000. Believe me, everyone was watching. However, the promotion still pretty much bombed. Everyone knew about Herb, but it didn’t work so well for BK and they ended up dropping the firm that came up with the campaign.

Now, the story I came up with is kind of a bizarre piece dealing with Herb. I really liked how it turned out, but I have to recognize that the Herb reference is a bit obscure now. Many readers might not have even have been born when Herb mania hit the country. Of those who were, memories may have faded. Faced with this, I have to wonder whether the story works or not. It doesn’t work if I try to update it for a possibly less obscure reference, so do I keep the story and hope it reaches who it can or do I scrap it?

It’s a dilemma. Herb, what should I do?

Wedding Photos!

As I mentioned a while back, the wife and I finally had our actual wedding ceremony where we could have friends and family attend. We don’t have our professional photos yet, but I thought I’d share a few informal ones we managed to get. These have already been on Facebook, but this is for those who didn’t see those or aren’t on Facebook:

Failure To Plan: Beef Wellington In Denver

After watching any number of different cooking related shows, the wife and I got a hankering for beef wellington. This is not necessarily an easy dish to locate in most cities. We wanted it done by a professional, so doing it ourselves wasn’t really an option. We found one place in the area that served it, but weren’t really impressed with what we got (an ordered medium came out well).

However, then we found out that the Sugar Mill in Denver did beef wellington. We were enthused, because we haven’t gotten anything there yet that wasn’t spectacular. However, does their beef wellington with mushrooms. The wife and I hate mushrooms. The mushrooms are under the pastry too, so you can’t just order it without. The beef wellingtons are all prepped that way at the start of the day.

However again, my wife called the Sugar Mill and they said they could prep us some non mushroom wellingtons if we gave them 24 hour notice so they knew they’d need them. Perfect, right? Well, not so fast.

My wife and I still haven’t been able to take advantage of this…no matter how much we’ve wanted to.

The problem isn’t that we haven’t been to the Sugar Mill since then. It’s that we’re poor at planning. We’ve been to the Sugar Mill several times, but we can’t seem to plan in advance that we’re going to go. We keep deciding what to do for dinner or a dessert and then decide to go to the Sugar Mill. Sitting there enjoying whatever we did order, we remember how we could have had the desired beef wellington if only we’d made the decision 24 hours ahead of time and called.

Someday this will happen. Someday my wife and I will plan ahead. However, I wouldn’t hold your breath about this being any time soon. Experience suggests that it will take the wife and I a while to get our acts together.

Odd Health Advice

I happened to be looking at the little display screens in the elevator recently and noticed that instead of news items it was offering me a health advice tip. The tip was something like: “Don’t have any gum? Chew a piece of lemon or orange rind to freshen your breath.” I stared.

Now, I’m sure this works. I’ve never tried it, but I have no reason to believe that chewing a piece of lemon or orange rind wouldn’t freshen my breath.

However, I was trying to imagine how common it was to have a piece of lemon or orange rind handy. Do other people frequently carry these around in their pockets? Do they keep a bag of these lying around at home? Are there complimentary bowls of lemon and/or orange rinds sitting out in public places that I have yet to notice?

Frankly, my access to lemon or orange rinds is pretty much limited to the few times I’m having a meal or snack that involved an orange or a lemon. It’s not that often either, much less often than I have access to gum.

As such, I was a little puzzled about this suggestion to use orange or lemon rind as a gum alternative. It probably works, but seems kind of limited to situations where orange and/or lemon rinds are available. Not much use to me really.

House Majority Leader To Be Selected Based on Choosing White Or Red Rose

As we all know by now, Eric Cantor is relinquishing his position as House majority leader after his surprising primary loss to David Brat. What is surprising some people is the method by which House Republicans will use to select the new majority leader. Apparently they will choose between House Majority Whip Kevin McCarthy or House GOP Conference Chairwoman Cathy McMorris Rodgers later this month by selecting either a white or a red rose.

There is no word yet as to which rose color will signify allegiance with McCarthy and which will signify allegiance with Rodgers.

Regardless, it seems clear that we can expect a series of dynastic wars that will be fought in several sporadic episodes for the throne of the House. No worries, though. I’m sure things will get back to normal soon enough and Congress will get down to business.