Lynn Kellan's Blog, page 15

How to look cute for Christmas

Looking cute is important, especially if you want someone to take you home.

This time of year, EVERYONE wants you to take them home

…and wrap ‘em up in festive paper and bows.

Sounds fun, right?

After extensive research at my local Costco, I found the secret.

The key to winning someone’s heart is BIG eyes.

The bigger the eyes, the better.

If you don’t want to spend Christmas morning alone,

make your eyes BIG…bigger than your cheeks, if possible.

I certainly don’t want to spend Xmas alone.

I want Santa to take me home, but my current appearance won’t work.

Thanks to a little plastic surgery,

I’ve increased my chances of a merry Christmas…

Ho Ho…Holy cow I look amazing!

or…

Ho Ho…Horrifying?

Thinking of you…

 

I’m so thankful for…YOU!

Happy Thanksgiving.

Merry Halloween!

I’m all messed up.

I missed Halloween while I promoted my book.

By gosh, I won’t miss Christmas…so I’m starting early.

Unfortunately, the store had only LEFT boots on sale,

but I managed to make the left boot look sexy AND creepy at the same time.

I decided to get this, instead…

No, this isn’t a “selfie.”

It’s an “elfie.”

And, of course, we need this…

Oh, just one more thing…

Let’s not tell my husband about these purchases, okay?

He loves surprises.

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This post brought to you by Delusional Wives.

We shouldn’t eat candy while we shop.

College is better without homework

How do you celebrate a wedding anniversary without spending a ton of money?

My husband and I decided to go back to college, tuition free!

We travelled north along the Susquehanna River

and spotted Lady Liberty:

A local lawyer and an artist built a replica of Lady Liberty

to celebrate the statue’s centennial in the 1980s.

It’s really cool to see the replica.

My husband and I  were inspired to replicate our first meeting:

Looks romantic, right?

We met on this street near my old dorm and his fraternity.

Back then, I had a ton of homework, so I said hello and went to the library.

(Well, not really, but that’s what I’m telling my parents and my kids.)

Now that we’re married with kids, we don’t have to study microeconomics.

So, we enjoyed the campus. Of course, we had to go golfing…

We took a moonlit stroll…

Then we had a great dinner, watched TV, and didn’t go near the library.

Sometimes, being over 30 is much better than being a college kid.

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This post brought to you by Old People Who Think They Look Like College Kids.

Please don’t call us “Sir” or “Ma’am.”

My husband’s secret life

I realized my husband was living a secret life in Kmart.

Because  devastating secrets are found in the costume aisle.

You see, I thought my husband was a geeky scientist, but he’s also…

…a Halloween wig model!

Ohmygosh, this explains all the extra cash in his wallet.

Apparently, sticking a comb in my husband’s wig makes him REALLY happy.

And look! This is how my husband looked when I met him in college:

What a hunk, right?

This next picture boosted my estrogen levels:

Honey, please wear that wig tonight and all is forgiven.

Love,

Your groupie

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This post is brought to you by Women Who Love 1980’s Rock Stars.

You rock our world…especially when you unload the dishwasher.

Fire + hot guys = new book

A few years ago, I visited the Simon Pearce glassblowing factory.

I was awestruck by the whole operation.

In order to make glass pliable, it has to be heated in 2,400 degree fires.

Glassblowers have a short period of time to shape the glass before it hardens.

Often, glassblowers work in pairs.

The loud furnace makes talking virtually impossible,

so glassblowers use nonverbal cues to communicate with one another.

Hot glass can cut through skin and bone…

yet glassblowers create works of art out of molten silica.

Here I am at Manchester Hot Glass in Vermont, with Andrew.

He helped me make a paperweight, which sits on my writing desk.

Glassblowers are so skilled, they make shaping glass look easy.

It’s not. I couldn’t shape a simple round paperweight.

Andrew had to fix it for me.

I was so impressed by these men, I had to write a story about one.

The last thing Mitchell Blake needs is another hot-shot consultant to “save” his glassblowing factory,

but this one is different. She is hiding something. If he can unearth Jaye’s secrets, he might

have good reason to fire her…or keep her forever.

Available on Kindle, Nook, ebook, iBooks, Kobo, for all ebook readers, and in print.

A new contemporary romance novel

My new book, Clear as Glass, releases today.

Clear as Glass won 5 Romance Writers of America chapter contests

and is published by The Wild Rose Press.

The last thing Mitchell Blake needs is another hot-shot consultant, but this one is different.

She is hiding something. If he can unearth her secrets, he might have good reason to fire her…or keep her.

So, if you’re in the mood for romance,

perhaps this one is for you?

Available on Kindle, Nook, ebook, iBooks, Kobo, for all ebook readers, and in print.

Why nervous parents shouldn’t visit their kids at college

I made the mistake of visiting my firstborn at college for Parents’ Weekend.

I was nervous. I needed reassurance that we sent her to the right school.

When we arrived, I saw terrible signs that we’d made a huge error.

Clearly this “inoperable fireplace” has been used.

That wasn’t the only weird thing going on at college.

Apparently, there is a 24 hour study room in the library

…but I saw this:

 

If this place doesn’t know the definition of a 24 hour study space,

what nonsense are they teaching my kid?

My anxiety skyrocketed when I saw this:

Geez-oh-Pete.

Seven years of bad luck.

I offered to bring my kid home

…but she refused to get in the car.

Perhaps we chose the right place, after all.

Because she loves it.

I love it, too.

 

Why you shouldn’t brush your teeth

My husband told me he loved our new toothpaste.

I nodded and asked him to carry a heavy pumpkin to the cashier.

My husband wondered why our new toothpaste tastes like peanut butter.

I shrugged and wondered which mum to buy.

My husband barked at a cat, which was weird.

I frowned at him and kept walking.

When we got home, I realized why my husband was acting so strange.

This was on our bathroom countertop.

Do I tell him, or not?

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This post brought to you by Websites With Broken Comment Boxes.

I’m happy to report the comment boxes for my site work again!

Don’t tell my husband…

I’m gonna talk about my husband.

Because today is our wedding anniversary.

My husband is six foot, five inches tall. No kidding.

He’s actually shorter than the guy I dated in college.

My husband has great legs.

Great legs can get a marriage through the tough times, I believe.

My husband’s favorite food is ice cream.

I don’t eat ice cream any more, so he gets dessert all to himself.

Plentiful ice cream helps a marriage through the rough spots, don’t you agree?

Dreamy gazes can get a marriage through any rough spot.

I bat my eyelashes at my hubby every night,

‘cuz it distracts him from dinner.

Believe me, ignoring the dinner menu

definitely saved our marriage.

Hugs,

“L Kel”

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To celebrate my upcoming release of Clear as Glass on October 22nd,

I’m giving away a $50 certificate to Beloise Jewelry to one of my newsletter subscribers.

Click here to sign up for my fun quarterly newsletter.