Jonelle Patrick's Blog, page 72

Your Lips Say No, But…

…when the lights go out, your underwear says YES! Modest Casanovas can let their choners do the talking for them, with this addition to the glow-in-the-dark boxer brief collection from Torio. Now if your Where’s Waldo undies are in the wash, you can still flaunt a pair of fightin’ pants!

These boxers send the message loud and clear, so you don’t have to!

Jonelle Patrick is the author of the Only In Tokyo mystery series, published by Penguin/Intermix.

Sandwiches Fight Back!

In the never-ending quest for lunchtime supremacy, now even the humble sandwich can have its day on the podium. If you can just talk your mom into whipping out a loaf of heart-shaped bread before school every morning, the other kids will be standing in line to trade their Pikachu bento boxes for your PB&Js!

Jonelle Patrick is the author of the Only In Tokyo mystery series, published by Penguin/Intermix.

Spicy Chocolate Drinking Snacks

Ditch that cello-pack of snacks with tentacles the next time you sit down with your drinking buddies to watch fifteen days of sumo – this drinking nibble’s hitherto untried flavor combo of bitter orange, chili pepper and chocolate is supposedly the perfect snack to complement fruity shō-chu spritzers, whisky & soda or Two Buck Chuck! How about you try it and tell me how it is? o_O

Jonelle Patrick is the author of the Only In Tokyo mystery series, published by Penguin/Intermix.

Man Bras?!

So I was googling around searching for examples of Scary Japanese Underwear (shut up – it’s book research!) and I clicked on a result that looked like a training bra. Only…there was something about the model (could it have been the chin stubble?) that made me dart over to read the product description. And there it was, written clearly in katakana: MAN’S BRA. What’s more, further beavering about on the Rakuten online store turned up pages upon pages of bras being modeled by…men!

But…why? It couldn’t be functional – man boobs are not a national epidemic in Japan, since foods like the Guracoro Burger are few and far between. And surely there can’t be THAT many dudes who relax with a cold beer and a little crossdressing at the end of a long workday.

So I ventured even further from anything that remotely resembled work, and turned up a Rocket News article that quoted a bra-wearing guy as explaining that wearing a bra made him feel calmer and more secure.

This is part of the ad for one of the “Premium Men’s Brassieres”: “Be comfortable. It’s relaxing. This ‘feeling’ is important.”

Huh. Wearing a bra never made me feel especially calm or secure. But it sounded…kind of familiar. Where had I read something like that recently? Then I remembered. Last time I flew to San Francisco, I was perusing the SkyMall catalog during the dreaded ten-minute electronics dead zone during take-off and landing, and I chanced across this:

So what do you think? Man bras = Thundershirts(TM) for salarymen?

Jonelle Patrick is the author of the Only In Tokyo mystery series, published by Penguin/Intermix.

Godzilla’s Ice Cube

After putting in a long day destroying Tokyo, Godzilla and his fellow kaiju can take a short stroll to Chiba and order their whisky & sodas at the Katsuura fish market, where they’ll have no problem coming up with ice cubes big enough to chill the monster-sized drinks.

I watched as block after giant block was herded over to the ice crushing elevator, smashed at record speed, and spewed into waiting trucks. As each one drove away with its mountain of snow, all I could think of was how rich I could get selling snow cones to hot and thirsty monsters.

What’s Hard and Wild and Comes In A Can?

Why, iced coffee of course. What were YOU thinking?

 

Make Your Own Adorable Butt Pudding

Today’s gourmet challenge: 「オラのかわいいおしりたべてみろう…？」”Do we dare to eat this adorable butt?”

Among all the WTF Japan products I’ve seen, this has to be the absolutely WTFiest. JIGGLY. WHITE. BUTT. PUDDING.

According to the directions on the back, using only this mix, a microwave and a mold shaped exactly like the well-know derriere of the beloved comic book and anime character, Crayon Shin-chan, one can be biting into this pale pair of buttocks by dinnertime.

Why one might want to has yet to be explained…

Jonelle Patrick is the author of the Only In Tokyo mystery series, published by Penguin/Intermix. She has not yet mustered the courage to eat microwave butt pudding. Many thanks to classmate Kiratipong Ongkasae for discovering and taking a photo of this new piece of insanity.

Tokyo Tower, On A Rainy Night

It’s still rainy season in Tokyo, but that just means more opportunities to take beautiful pictures at night! Here’s Tokyo’s beloved orange replica of the Eiffel Tower, shining through the raindrops running down the window of my friend’s car…

What The Well-Dressed Suitcase Is Wearing This Season

Now your bag doesn’t have to travel naked anymore, thanks to these fashionable luggage togs I saw recently at Shibuya Loft! Made of stretchy knits that zip up snugly around your suitcase, they not only prevent the contents from exploding all over some distant baggage claim in a case of Dreaded Latch Failure, they’ll also keep the exterior shiny and scratch-free. They come in a dazzling array of fun designs too, so you can change your bag’s look with the seasons, or quickly switch it up if another suitcase comes to the party wearing the same dress…

Jonelle Patrick is the author of the Only In Tokyo mystery series, published by Penguin/Intermix.

Rain, With A Chance Of Laundry

Weather reports in Japan are far more useful than weather reports where I come from: they tell you whether you ought to do laundry or not. Because few people have clothes dryers at home, whether you hang your laundry out to dry on the balcony before you go to school or work is a serious question. The two little shirts on that first line of my weather app told me there was 100% chance of damp laundry by the time I returned, if I hung my stuff up outside. It didn’t need to add that this would result in a greater than average chance of nose-wrinkling mildew odor. And the second line basically says, “Don’t be an idiot. Take your umbrella.”

Jonelle Patrick is the author of the Only In Tokyo mystery series, published by Penguin/Intermix.