Jonelle Patrick's Blog, page 68

Instaboobs

No matter how unlucky you were when they were handing out the bodacious ta-tas, in less than five minutes – without any miracle creams, thighmasters-for-the-boobs, or push-up bras – you too can sport some righteous cleavage! All you need is the handy makeup instructions in Gal Mori magazine and a few carefully chosen shades of face powder from the drugstore…

Powder that’s a shade darker than your normal skin goes on top, powder that’s a shade lighter goes in the half moons below, and voila! Boobage!

Jonelle Patrick is the author of the Only In Tokyo mystery series, published by Penguin/Intermix. She admits to having been a furtive user of many miracle bust enhancement products in her youth.

Swiss Cheese Chocolate

Why are Japanese sweets makers so unclear on the concept? Is it really that hard?

Cream cheese + white chocolate = YES PLEASE.

Swiss cheese + white chocolate = NO NO NO NO NO NO NEVER PUT THESE TWO THINGS TOGETHER THAT IS DISGUSTING BARF BARF BARF.

Okay. Thanks for letting me get that off my chest.

Jonelle Patrick is the author of the Only In Tokyo mystery series, published by Penguin/Intermix.

Welcome To The Demimonde!

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Host clubs, hostess bar life, and love hotels…I put this slideshow together last week for a book club that chose Fallen Angel as their September read, but I thought you might enjoy it too.

Fallen Angel is the second book in the Only In Tokyo mystery series, featuring Tokyo Metropolitan Police Detective Kenji Nakamura and part-time English translator Yumi Hata. If you’d like to spend some time behind closed doors in Tokyo’s wildest entertainment district, dive into the first few chapters here.

Read more: The Top Ten Questions About Host Clubs

Why do women go to host clubs?

What kind of women go to host clubs?

What’s it like to visit a host club?

How expensive is it to go to a host club?

What is a host club “champagne call”?

Can foreigners get into a host club?

How can I go to a host club?

How do I find a good host club?

Host fashion: Why do hosts dress like that?

A Day In The Life: What’s it like to be a host?

Taking Blingmobile To A Whole New Level

Tooling around in a boring old red Ferrari would be like driving an old Hyundai compared to pulling up to the curb in this Swarovski-paved Mercedes! Feast your eyes on the marvel of sparkle-mania that is the DAD Store poster car. The rhinestone-encrusted DAD accessories look positively tasteful in comparison.

Naturally, if you’re swanning around in the Maximum Blingcar, the only way to carry your bottle of Coke in appropriate style is to slot it into a Majestic Drink Holder. It comes outfitted with a hint-hint of a padlock, in case you get stuck driving one of your patrons home after closing time at the host club and she thinks it would be okay to take a swig when you’re not looking.

The Majestic accommodates your drink of choice plus a pack of coffin nails! Handy!

Jonelle Patrick is the author of the Only In Tokyo mystery series, published by Penguin/Intermix. If you’d like to visit the DAD Store in the Shibuya Men’s 109 the next time you’re in Tokyo, directions are on my website, The Tokyo Guide I Wish I’d Had.

Akihabara At Night: An Electronic Jewelbox

If Electric Town makes your heart beat faster during the day, just wait until nighttime! Crowds of Forever Alones and idol worshippers alike are drawn to its pulsing neon, mesmerized by the glow.

Robot lovers and idol fanboys stream toward the side by side Gundam Cafe and AKB48 center.

The whole neighborhood is bathed in this strange blue glow.

This art piece stretches for several blocks, the thin blue lines blazing a perfectly straight path along the street, up and over escalators, into buildings, and even through fountains.

A late night yakitori joint.

The trains are relentless, whisking away exhausted salarymen and cosplayers alike.

Jonelle Patrick is the author of the Only In Tokyo mystery series. If you’d like to visit Akihabara the next time you’re in Tokyo, directions and more pictures are on my website, The Tokyo Guide I Wish I’d Had.

Akihabara At Night: A Box of Electronic Jewels

If Electric Town makes your heart beat faster during the day, just wait until nighttime! Crowds of Forever Alones and idol worshippers alike are drawn to its pulsing neon, mesmerized by the glow.

Robot lovers and idol fanboys stream toward the side by side Gundam Cafe and AKB48 center.

The whole neighborhood is bathed in this strange blue glow.

This art piece stretches for several blocks, the thin blue lines blazing a perfectly straight path along the street, up and over escalators, into buildings, and even through fountains.

A late night yakitori joint.

The trains are relentless, whisking away exhausted salarymen and cosplayers alike.

Jonelle Patrick is the author of the Only In Tokyo mystery series. If you’d like to visit Akihabara the next time you’re in Tokyo, directions and more pictures are on my website, The Tokyo Guide I Wish I’d Had.

Hey, It’s Sushi O’Clock!

Best. Purchase. Ever. How many ways do I love Kappabashi, the street where Tokyo restaurants go to shop?

Jonelle Patrick is the author of the Only In Tokyo mystery series. If you’d like to visit Kappabashi Street the next time you’re in Tokyo – where you can make your own plastic food, buy half-price dinosaur heads and nyan-tastic cat teapots –  directions and more pictures are on my website, The Tokyo Guide I Wish I’d Had.

Mr. Smiley Fork

One more reason to love the FrancFranc store:  flatware with smiley-face cutouts! (See the table through the holes?)

Jonelle Patrick is the author of the Only In Tokyo mystery series, published by Penguin/Intermix. If you’d like to visit a FrancFranc store the next time you’re in Tokyo, directions are on my website, The Tokyo Guide I Wish I’d Had.

Squicky Cow Parts Chowdown

Hey, are you ready to grill up some tasty fourth stomach of cow tonight? Or maybe you’d prefer first stomach? Let’s get one of each, to compare!

Then for chasers, how about a nice plate of diaphragm? And…let’s see…it’s always so hard to decide between large intestine and small, especially when there are three kinds of wiggly bits o’ colon to choose from––

Yakiniku (“Korean BBQ”) is usually explained as tasty bites of meat you grill yourself at your table, but I had no idea there would be so many types of, er, meats on offer. This restaurant near Meguro station has an especially magnificent selection, but in Japan it’s not unusual to encounter rather more challenging cuts of cow (and pig) than I’m used to. And they’re not cheap, either! A plate of sirloin looks like a bargain compared to center cut of tongue!

Carry this in your wallet, for handy reference!

As you can see, mixing up those cow stomachs could be disastrous…

Jonelle Patrick is the author of the Only In Tokyo mystery series, published by Penguin/Intermix. When you read her third book, Idolmaker, now you’ll recognize the menu at the restaurant where Detective Kenji Nakamura has a little sit-down with his favorite suspect! Thank you to All About Beef Innards for the diagram & photos.

Bride Of Scissorhands

What’s a girl to do when her fiancé has nails that will certainly siphon off all kinds of attention that should rightly belong to the bride on her big day? Extreme nail design to the rescue! With rocks so big, they’ll require extra biceps work just to hold the bouquet, Bridezilla won’t have to fight tooth and nail to stay firmly in the spotlight with this set of beauties.

Jonelle Patrick is the author of the Only In Tokyo mystery series, published by Penguin/Intermix. Photo & nail design from the Mami Jingu Nail Book.