Jonelle Patrick's Blog, page 65
November 25, 2013
Hot Snood
Get yer red hot snoods right here at Tokyu Hands! I always thought a snood was a sort of hairnet thingie, but apparently here in Japan, it’s an electric fake fur stole. And handily, it comes in fake brown or fake white, for all your outfit-matching needs.
Jonelle Patrick is the author of the Only In Tokyo mystery series, published by Penguin/Intermix.


November 22, 2013
Why, Japan, Why?
If you can’t lie face down on the rug, the train station platform is the next best thing. And at least at Korakuen Station, you can pass out on a bench with aristocratic style.
Jonelle Patrick is the author of the Only In Tokyo mystery series, published by Penguin/Intermix.


November 21, 2013
Slaves Of Chrysanthemums
Chrysanthemum growers,
You are the slaves
Of chrysanthemums.
I must admit I didn’t fully understand Basho’s haiku until I saw these astonishing examples of chrysanthemum husbandry at the Yushima Tenjin Shrine last weekend…

Yes, this is ONE plant!

This style always makes me think of the Yoyogi Park rockabillies’ hair!

All the specimens have to bloom at exactly the right time. How do they do that?

And how did they grow these, so they were the exact same size and height at exactly the right time? Even the leaves are perfect!
Jonelle Patrick is the author of the Only In Tokyo mystery series, published by Penguin/Intermix.


November 18, 2013
Nyan Gloves
You know you want to get your paws on a pair of these!
Jonelle Patrick is the author of the Only In Tokyo mystery series, published by Penguin/Intermix.


November 17, 2013
Holy Mother Of…?!
I’ll see your Our Lady Of Rude Kustoms and raise you a scorpion tattoo! This shining example of Extreme Decorative Engrish goes on to inexplicably include God and France in an unholy existential alliance:
“The God and France think whether exist this world
It might exist if the God and France exist
Really we think that the fact is the world communness”
I’ll take a dozen, one in every color.
Jonelle Patrick is the author of the Only In Tokyo mystery series, published by Penguin/Intermix.


November 13, 2013
Water Bottle Mufflers!
These Rilakkuma bottle sweaters of overwhelming cuteness were given away FREE as a promo for cold green tea! But…how did I manage to get my hot little hands on one? They disappeared off the convenience store shelves in Tokyo in one nanosecond, so fast that I didn’t even know there was a promotion! But lucky for me, our tour bus stopped at one of those massive industrial rest stops on the way to the Ise Shrine this week, and in the deepest, darkest backwoods of Mie Prefecture, there were still some left on the shelves. SCORE!
Jonelle Patrick is the author of the Only In Tokyo mystery series, published by Penguin/Intermix.


November 11, 2013
It’s Never Too Early To Begin The Training, Part Deux
It’s never too early for girls to learn what a barrel of fun it is to do the laundry and ironing. Suggested for ages two and up.
Jonelle Patrick is the author of the Only In Tokyo mystery series, published by Penguin/Intermix.


November 9, 2013
What’s Wrong With This Picture…?
Luscious strawberries…succulent peaches…flaky pastry…fresh whipped cream…all topped off with…PARSLEY. Yes, the fluffy little herb that rocked the 1950s sits inexplicably atop this otherwise tasty-looking fruit tart, and the strangest thing is, this wasn’t a random garnish fail.

How about a big bite of Mont Blanc desert-itude featuring candied chestnuts, chocolate, custard, cream…and PARSLEY?

Or banana-cream-caramel pastry-licious pie, handily decorated with…PARSLEY.
Jonelle Patrick is the author of the Only In Tokyo mystery series, published by Penguin/Intermix.


What’s Wrong With This Pie…?
Luscious strawberries…succulent peaches…flaky pastry…fresh whipped cream…all topped off with…PARSLEY. Yes! Yes, the garnish the rocked the 1950s sits inexplicably atop this otherwise tasty-looking fruit tart, and the strangest thing is, this wasn’t a random garnish fail.

How about a big bite of Mont Blanc desert-itude featuring candied chestnuts, chocolate, custard, cream…and PARSLEY?

Or banana-cream-caramel pastry-licious pie, handily decorated with…PARSLEY.
Jonelle Patrick is the author of the Only In Tokyo mystery series, published by Penguin/Intermix.


November 6, 2013
Porta-Bidet To The Rescue!

“For men AND women.” Because everybody needs a spanking clean oshiri!
Penetrate even the most robo-toilet deficient corners of the globe with confidence, now that you can travel with your magic bottom-washing wand! Just crank it onto a pet bottle full of water (or fill the slightly cumbersome plastic reservoir with local H2O), aim that bad boy, and fire. It’s not the smallest travel item ever invented, but if you don’t fancy carrying a Costo-size purse, you can always just holster it on your belt…

Use it on the airplane, in substandard public restrooms, and when traveling to anxiety-producing foreign countries where toilet paper is not an inalienable right.
Jonelle Patrick is the author of the Only In Tokyo mystery series, published by Penguin/Intermix.

