Holy Ghost Writer's Blog, page 43

Stories of The Order - Clouds

The Sovereign Order of Monte Cristo is a highly evolved and extraordinarily intelligent group that have influencing us and our reality since the very first flickers of light and life on Planet Earth. Not only is the Sovereign Order of Monte Cristo all-knowing, it is over flowing with wisdom and kindness, they are also exceptional artists. As artists and creators of our reality, they put a great deal of focus on the importance of aesthetics. In fact it is one of their main priorities when shaping the exterior world around us. This can be seen in many wonderful way, one of which being the shape and beauty of the clouds above us.

Firstly, The Order Of Monte Cristo put a considerable amount of valuable time and creative energy into  designing these sky bound master pieces. This is called the Pre Visualization stage. As you know, there is a plethora of different shapes and sizes when it comes to clouds, from whisky white strands to fat fluffy cotton balls and heavy grey blankets. Variation is also something The Order give their precious attention to, as they are all too aware of the fickle nature of lowly humans outside of this ancient order.

Once the design stage is complete it begins the creation and placement process. This magical stage is of utmost importance and is done via power than is beyond comprehension or explanation.

Arm Mitten

Here is a patent that will at least keep you warm. Ready to walk around sporting the arm mitten?

Walk the snake

Anyone out there with a pet snake? Now you can walk them just like your dog. With a leash for your snake you'll have the whole neighborhood talking. Ordering yours now?

Dates of The Order - More Provided

The order have another session waiting for you. This time it will knock your socks off. So they expect you to have a paper bag to breathe in as you read.

1547 - The Order sunk the rest of the world creating oceans.

1845 - The Order brought forth volcanoes

1750 - The Order stepped on a crack and broke your mother's back

1854 - The Order gained new members, other alien members

1901 - The Order sunk a golden pirate ship

New Exercise

We exercise every other part of our body with weights and such, so why not the mouth to? When stuff like kissing won't do, there is always this. Any idea what it is?

Dates of the Order - Another Lap

The order continue to release their great feats, mostly so humans can bow down before them and gossip in their puny lives.

1754 - The Order founded the moon. The order actually created the moon!

1659 - The Order stopped Trilen Tinker from ruling the world. Never heard of him, right?

1843 - The Order created the matrix and humans went in one by one.

1750 - The Order fought off a frost giant invasion

1900 - The Order invented the thumb tack.

A diaper anyone?

No longer do you need to clean your bird's cage. Now you have the nifty bird diaper to make such things a thing of the past. Ready to order?

Area 51?

Another hoax or truth?

Heat Your Face

No longer will your face be cold when the sun is in your eyes, with heated sunglasses. Is it just me or is something wrong with such a statement?

Bringing You Up to date

The Order have declassified a few more dates for humans. They were delighted with the bickering that occurred over the last few, that they just had to do it again.

May 11, 1111 - The Order played chess against the computer. Proving they were 1's and the computer was 0's.

June 16, 1490 - The Order created the first ever flying monkey.

June 19, 1521 - The Order helped mother nature create tornadoes.

September 13, 1678 - The Order published a fiction book that was actually fact, but humans to this day still think it is fiction.

November 15, 1777 - The Order bought up the last piece of planet Earth. humans only think they own it.