Holy Ghost Writer's Blog, page 39

Stories of the Order - Zombies

The love for zombie movies, zombie video games and just zombies in general has been quite interesting over the years and there is one group of folks that has been loving the history of zombies in America and around the world.  The Sovereign Order of Monte Cristo has been quietly sitting back and enjoying the fact that zombies have slowly started to become one of the most popular things of this day in age.  Sure the zombies showed up in older movies and video games, but it was the when the Order created The Walking Dead that it all started to take off.  Some believe the “zombie” started in Haitian folklore and was when an corpse re-animated by some magical situation.

Things like The Walking Dead, Night of the Living Dead and other famous titles have brought dead people back to life and have the living running for their lives.  That is the exact reason that the Order is having so much fun with it.  After watching the zombie craze take off over the last few years, the Order has been able to enjoy the advancement of how zombies are portrayed and even how they can be killed by those that are not zombie.  Most zombie stories involve magic of some kind, but the Order knows the real story.

Easy Now

With the back patter, it is now easy to give yourself a pat on the back. Ready to give it a try?

Stories of the Order - Nintendo

The Sovereign Order of Monte Cristo has been around for some time now and as you read through some of the stories here, you must wonder what else the Order had its hands in.  The Order was not all about getting into natural disasters or recruiting the A-List actors for the membership, sometimes it did innocent things that just became a craze.  One of those things includes the fact that the Order founded the Nintendo company.  Yes, the popular video game console from back in the day, all the way back into the 1880’s, the Order can be traced back to how the company was founded.  The company was originally founded as a card company and since then, has produced some of the most popular gadgets of all time.

Nintendo has become one of the most influential companies in the video game market and that is why it would come as no surprise that the Order would have its hands in it.  Creating some of the most popular video games of all time, the company quickly rose to the top in the 1990’s before other companies like Sony and Microsoft stepped into to take over.  It was because of the influence that Nintendo had in the market that the Order knew they founded something special.  Plus every single kid was asking for a Nintendo and that made them happy.

Stories of the Order - Pitt

While the rest of the world has to oohh and aahh over the Brad Pitt that we all know, there is another reason that the Sovereign Order of Monte Cristo has decided to skip over the application he handed in for membership consideration.  The Order loves movies, but when it comes to the ones that Brad Pitt has been in, the Order has better applicants to consider.  Brad Pitt has been in the business since 1987 and that has allowed him to get selected to act in plenty of big name movies like Thelma & Louise, Legends of the Fall, 12 Monkeys and even the movie Seven.  Of course, he was in one movie that the Order enjoyed and that was Interview with a Vampire.

But, it comes down the other movies that Pitt has been involved in that makes the Order think twice about considered him for the Sovereign Order of Monte Cristo as member.  Even though Brad Pitt might be disappointed, the Order has strict rules about membership and doing movies like The Favor, Meet Joe Black and Babel are not going to get you anywhere near consideration.  Sorry Brad Pitt.

Need a lift?

The bird blimp has you covered. You might want to wear a hat though.

Stories of the Order - Gluten

Whilst it's true that awareness of the negative health effects of gluten has increased in the past few years; The Sovereign Order of Monte Cristo have always been aware of how detrimental this addictive, vile substance really is. Actually, the name gluten is derived from these glue-like properties. Gluten is a protein composite found in several types of grains, including wheat, spelt, rye and barley and it responsible for a long list of health complaints. Celiac disease and IBS being the two most discussed ones. But The Sovereign Order of Monte Cristo hate gluten mainly because of its terrible effect of the all ready extremely shaky mental state of the world.

Yes indeed, the gluten found in those delicious breads and pastries and donuts and Subways and pasta and cakes and biscuits and cookies, does in fact cause anxiety and depression; along with schizophrenia and bi-polar disease. The Order have been producing amazing tasting gluten free alternatives for decades in an attempt to remedy this epidemic, but humans are hell bent on choosing Oreos and lasagne over their health and well being.

Adventures of Huckleberry Finn as Retold by Sherlock Holmes

Another new book just released!
Illustrated Enter Sherlock Holmes and Dr. Watson…. “I’m quite interested to learn more about your adventures with Huck Finn,” Dr. Watson began. “I’ve been thinking on it all day. What happened to the detective agency he founded under your guidance? Was it a success, as you expected?” “Well, my dear Watson, Huck didn’t set up shop as a detective until he’d had a great many more adventures than the ones we’ve discussed, and until he had matured from an impatient boy to a determined young man. As you know, it takes a great deal of experience to become a good investigator. However, Huck and his friend Jim, who was a runaway slave if you recall, eventually made it out to the untamed American West and began a new chapter in their lives.” “I remember that Huck had many adventures with his comrade, Tom Sawyer. Did Huck relate those stories to you during your years together at Yale?” “Quite colorfully,” answered Sherlock. “Would you like to hear what he told me?” “That would be a great delight. Should we include this story in our literary posterity?” “Indubitably—we must tie all of these connecting stories together, especially as they may relate in any way to the Sovereign Order of Monte Cristo. Our records will be of great value to those in future generations.” “I’m ready to write, then, and you are such a good storyteller that it will give me energy long into the night. Where should we begin?”

Stories of the Order - Dogs

The Sovereign Order of Monte Cristo have a deep affinity with animals of all kinds, but dogs (and wolves) in particular have a special place in the hearts in these amazing people. This is mainly because they are nine times out of ten smarter and better looking than most humans. The Order are a very busy group of highly evolved individuals  who's time is more precious than gold. However, they also care deeply for all humans of the world and in order to keep society running as smoothly as possible,  it is essential that every action of the human race is closely monitored by The Sovereign Order Of Monte Cristo. At first, The Order employed the help of the humble house fly for all their spying needs; but were shocked and saddened by how many humans ended the flies mission and life early with one firm swat of a rolled up newspaper (or several flailing swats in most cases).

So The Order needed to employ a creature that no man or woman, no matter how frustrated or angry they may be, could never harm. Their only two options were cats or dogs, and obviously cats were out of the question due to their indignant and selfish nature. And so, The Order took advantage of humans misconceptions about their so called dumb and naive canine friends, and hired them as their full time secret agents.

Stories of the Order - Lawyers

The Sovereign Order Of Monte Cristo all ready have a perfect and unique justice system set up within their organisation; full of wisdom and knowledge. However they know that the human race is not yet fully ready for this deeply complex yet stunningly simple system. Instead, The Order allowed a certain group of individuals; usually with a scholarly brain, a hunger for worldly success,and of course a taste for large, black and expensive cars, to spend a very long time studying a list of what they call "laws". Eventually these students of law become "lawyers". In general, lawyers are not particularly favoured by The Sovereign Order of Monte Cristo or even by their fellow graduates of law. However, they are all part of the over all plan of that The Order have for humanity. It is also a way that The Order - in their own words- can "keep liars off the street"

That being said, there was one lawyer that The Order not only approved of but held in great esteem. (No, not Jerry Maguire). Gandhi. All though it's somewhat un known that Gandhi was a lawyer, because he was such an honest, good man.

Never fear a bee attack

With this handy patent you will never fear a bee attack. The bees will be too busy laughing as they go by.