Holy Ghost Writer's Blog, page 41

Stories of the Order - Gate of The Gods

The Gate of the Gods is a huge mysterious door-like structure. In the Hayu Marca mountain region of Southern Peru near Lake Titicaca, 35 kilometres from the city of Puno and is found in an area which has long been revered by local Indians as the "City of the Gods". There are many Native American legends as to how and why Puerta de Hay Marca exists.  The well-known legend is that the "Gate of the Gods" is a literal gateway to gods.

In that legend, it is said that the long deceased heroes had gone to join their gods, and passed through the gate for a glorious new life of immortality, and on rare occasions those men returned for a short time with their gods to "inspect the land of the kingdom" through the gate. Witnesses have reported sightings of tall men with light hair and fair skin. These beings are often accompanied by blue and orange balls of light. These unknown creatures come through this portal and silently vanish back again. The Sovereign Order of Monte Cristo knew these mystical beings that in fact used to travel back and forth for dinner parties with The Order. Many a night was spent exchanging stories and jokes and recipes. Eventually it became clear that these tall and blue ball bearing men had impure intentions. When they weren’t trying to push hallucinogens on the teens in The Order, they were attempting to use their other worldly charm to woo the women into having drug fueled sexual relations with them. Of course this kind of immoral and straight up shady behaviour cannot and will not be tolerated by The Order. For this reason The Sovereign Order had a sacred gate closing ceremony and banned all coming and goings between the Gates of The Gods in Peru and Planet Earth.

Save Some Space

Using helium this patent attempts to make more room in your house. You can just let your furniture float away. Invest in a ladder if you sign up.

Caught on Tape

Stories of the Order - Hygiene

The Sovereign Order of Monte Cristo takes hygiene very seriously. In the dark ages, long before indoor plumbing and high speed internet, people were perfectly pleased with relieving themselves in forests and nearby ditches, or sometimes even chamber pots when laziness or cold weather struck. Little did they know, they were in fact spreading deadly diseases such as the bubonic plague, caused by bacterium and Yersinia pestis. The girls of the time also had no place to congregate and talk about boys and reapply their lip-gloss.

So once again, The Order stepped in and saved the day by inventing the magical and ergonomical creation that is the toilet. At first of course, these were primitive fixtures made from bricks with wooden seats on top. They had vertical chutes, through which waste fell into street drains or cesspits. But gradually, The Order updated the design and appearance as well as functionality. The Order even created "High-tech" toilets, which include features such as: automatic-flushing mechanisms that flush a toilet when finished; water jets, or "bottom washers" like a bidet; blow dryers; artificial flush sounds to mask noises; and urine and stool analysis for medical monitoring. Amazing.

For Your Safety

A hurricane safety bed just for you. No need to sleep on the bed. You can go under it. Even if the house falls on you and you are trapped. Want one?

Stories of the Order - Atlantis

Getting into The Sovereign Order of Monte Cristo is a pretty hard thing to do since it is a secret society, but once you are in, you are going to learn of all the things that the Order has had its hand in over the years.  World events like keeping humans out of space as long as possible and even how the clouds are shaped.  One thing that is a little more of a major event is the sinking of Atlantis and you should know that The Sovereign Order of Monte Cristo had something to do with that as well.

There are plenty of legends out on the web that you can read about, but one that is missing is about The Sovereign Order of Monte Cristo.  The “fictional” island was mentioned first back in 360 BC in Plato’s story.  The story is long and even though Atlantis was not that important of a part, the sinking of the island would become one of the most talked about prehistoric lost civilizations.  Atlantis still shows up in comics and light fiction books and when you read through a book or two, remember who really had a hand in the sinking of the island.

Face Lift

No longer will you need plastic surgery. This patent would allow you to get an automatic facelift. It may hurt a bit though.

Reduce

Stories of the Order - Medusa

The Sovereign order of Monte Cristo is a group that claims responsibility for some of the Earth’s events over the years.  In Greek Mythology, Medusa was said to be a monster and one that was a female with snakes for hair.  Being very scary, one would think that the monster could take over and do just about anything intimidation-wise.  The reign of terror did not last long according to Greek Mythology and Medusa was quickly beheaded by Perseus.  Is that exactly what happened?  Or did another force have something to do with that event?

Looking back on some of the major world events, the Sovereign order of Monte Cristo might have been a large part of the things that happened.  The group gave Perseus the weapon and the strength to take on Medusa and once she was finally beheaded, he used her head as a weapon until finally giving it to the goddess Athena.  The shield that Athena used was a major part of the order and once Medusa’s head was attached to it, it was used just like many other devices of that time period to avert evil.

Deer Ears

For when you are really hard of hearing, this patent gives you the dear ears hearing aid. No anyone who needs a set?