Dave Barry's Blog, page 72

CRIMINAL MASTERMIND OF THE WEEK SO FAR, FLORIDA DIVISION

Florida Man Tries to Use Stolen Excavator to Steal ATM Right Next to Police Station

(Thanks to Ron T)

THE WORD IS 'MAJESTIC'

A rare New Zealand snail is filmed for the first time laying an egg from its neck

(Thanks to Rick Day)

SHE WAS RELEASED AFTER CHEWY PRODUCED A VALID FLORIDA DRIVER'S LICENSE

(Thanks to Doug Shedd, MAC, Ralph, pharmaross and Ron Wylie)

CSI: JONESBORO

Jail enters lock down after convicted killer goes missing for 12 hours. Then cops realize they forgot him at the courthouse

(Thanks to Ron Wylie)

LOOKING FOR A UNIQUE MOTHER'S DAY GIFT?

Your search is over.

(Thanks to Carl Youngdahl)

HIS BALANCE: 1,00,13,56,00,00,01,39,54,21,00,23,56,00,00,01,39,542 RUPEES

Bank Glitch Credits 36-Digit Sum to UP Man, Briefly Making Him the Richest Person on Earth

(Thanks to Ralph)

YOU KNOW WHO MASTERMINDED THIS

Las Vegas Fire and Rescue responded to an unusual call today when a woman got stuck in a tree while trying to rescue a cat.

(Thanks to Ron Wylie)

'MY SUCKERS ARE HERE!'

Ky. 2nd grader accidentally orders over 70,000 suckers

(Thanks to Ralph)

OFF WE GO, INTO THE WILD POO YONDER

AI Toronto-Delhi flight diverted as 5 toilets clogged

(Thanks to Asher Scheiner)

OFF WE GO, INTO THE WILD BLUE YONDER

Army pilot claims he distributed LSD for religious reasons

(Thanks to Actual Name, who says "In that case, sir...")