Dave Barry's Blog, page 70

HAPPY MOTHER'S DAY...

...to all you wonderful Blog Moms!

OR ARE YOU JUST HAPPY TO SEE ME?

A Met Police officer who hid a Ninja star in his pants, 'hoping a colleague would touch his penis', has been sacked. PC Stewart Clark played the dirty jape on a colleague during a training role play when officers simulate a search on each other by hiding an object, a tribunal heard.

(Thanks to Unholy Slacker) 

WE MIGHT AS WELL SHRED THE SO-CALLED 'BILL OF RIGHTS'

Cohoes resident reportedly restrains chainsaw-wielding man in clown mask

(Thanks to Actual Name)

OTHER THAN THAT, IT WAS A LOVELY SERVICE

Fight at a funeral in Connecticut erupts into gunfire and stabbing, wounding 2

(Thanks to Doug Shedd)

THERE GOES THE BRIDE

The bride's best friends led her to a nearby bush and held up her custom mermaid-style gown designed by Lauren Elaine as she peed. The "dramatic" dress had "an eight-foot train and hundreds of yards of tulle."

(Thanks to pharmaross)

OR NOT

Coming soon to a penis near you ��� the ���world���s first��� male contraceptive implant

(Thanks to pharmaross)

WE'RE NOT LAUGHING. YOU'RE LAUGHING.

2-fingered man caught with largest cache of homemade pipe bombs in FBI history

(Thanks to Actual Name, who says: "Competence.")

NOBEL PRIZE ALERT

Researchers have shown that releasing an egg sideways gives it the best chance of surviving a great fall.

(Thanks to Edmond Orignac and The Perts)

WHAT'S THAT SMELL?

Norwegian fan trades five kilos of fish for ticket to Bod��/Glimt v Tottenham

(Thanks to Ralph)

WE'VE ALL DONE IT

Plane caught fire as pilot confused left and right

(Thanks to Rick Day)