Dave Barry's Blog, page 71

OF COURSE

What causes nearly every alligator attack on humans? Study says it's our fault

(Thanks to John Lobert)

MOTHER'S DAY ADVICE FOR MEN

You're going to screw it up.

ALSO ABOARD THE SMUGGLERS' SHIP: 'FOUR MONKEYS, 12 PARROTS AND AN UNDISCLOSED AMOUNT OF MARIJUANA'

The Jamaica Defense Force said an escaped animal initially reported to be a tiger cub is actually an ocelot, a wildcat native to the Americas and Caribbean islands.

(Thanks to John Lobert)

WELL IF THE SHEEP ARE INVADING IN HELICOPTERS, IT'S TIME TO FIGHT BACK

Texas aims to legalize hunting invasive sheep from helicopters

(Thanks to MOTW)

WAIT, DUDE.... NOT WEED?

Scientists find the best crops to grow during the apocalypse

(Thanks to Jim Kenaston, who says "I'll either be out or ordering out.")

THE VERY DEFINITION OF NEWS

Naked man arrested after biting dog, officer in Lawrence gas station bathroom

(Thanks to Unholy Slacker)

SHE MAY BE FICTIONAL, BUT THAT DOESN'T MEAN SHE CAN'T LEGALLY DRIVE IN FLORIDA

Villager crashes Tesla in roundabout and blames fictional girl driver

(Thanks to Rick Day)

INFLUENCERS AT SEA

A near-tragedy nearly happens in Miami.

THANK GOD FOR STUDIES

Celiac sufferers can safely kiss bread-eaters, study says

(Thanks to The Perts)

THE SCIENCE IS SETTLED

Women are more attracted to BALD men, study reveals

(Thanks to pharmaross)