Dave Barry's Blog, page 68

THERE IS NOTHING LEFT TO BELIEVE IN

'This should not be published': Scientists cast doubt on study claiming trees 'talk' before solar eclipses

(Thanks to Jim Kenaston)

After solar eclipses you can't shut them up.

ALWAYS THE LAST PLACE YOU LOOK

Naked Man Found in Lowe���s Display Shed with Vaseline and Phone

(Thanks to Actual Name)

CANADA: A NATION IN FEAR

Plane Drops Frozen Excrement Through Unsuspecting Homeowner���s Roof: ���My head was only about 12 or 15 feet away���

(Thanks to Unholy Slacker)

IT WAS RELEASED AFTER PRODUCING A VALID FLORIDA DRIVER'S LICENSE

A radar image of a speed offender caught in central Switzerland last month has revealed that the culprit was not only a duck but probably a repeat offender, local authorities have said.

(Thanks to Doug Shedd, Ron Wylie and Ralph)

THOSE TERRORIST BASTARDS

Mystery of 'exploding birds' deepens in California

(Thanks to Asher Scheiner)

HOLD OFF ON THAT MORTGAGE PAYMENT

Universe expected to decay in 10������ years, much sooner than previously thought

(Thanks to Ralph, The Perts and some guy who doesn't want credit for some reason.)

HOW MANY BEERS DO YOU HAVE?

What is the optimal number of beers to drink in one sitting?

(Thanks to pharmaross)

SHE HAS OUR VOTE

South Jersey Assembly candidate selling photos of her feet as online adult content

(Thanks to pharmaross)

BASICALLY IT'S A HORROR MOVIE

Booming squirrel population leads to Santa Monica's insistence not to feed wildlife

(Thanks to man tom)

STRUMPDATE

Tonight at 6 p.m. I'll be at Ca��ada College in Redwood City, CA, talking with Angie Coiro about Class Clown for Kepler's bookstore. Come on out! Or not! Either way I will continue to consider you to be a very close personal friend.