Dave Barry's Blog, page 38

WE ARE SHOCKED, SHOCKED

70% of US beachgoers confessed to going waist deep into the ocean to relieve themselves instead of finding a nearby bathroom.

The other 30 percent lied.

(Thanks to pharmaross)

INDEPENDENCE DAY

A Time to Grill.

MAKE US

'Stop sending unsolicited urine samples', says GP

(Thanks to Unholy Slacker)

GET A ROOM

Killer orcas filmed French-kissing for the first time

(Thanks to pharmaross)

BECAUSE WHAT WE NEED RIGHT NOW IS TALKING MICE

���Human Gene Makes Mice Speak���: Scientists Alter Rodents With Language DNA and Trigger Startling Changes in Vocal Behavior

(Thanks to Ralph)

HE HAS OUR VOTE

Mandurah councillor Ahmed Zilani to donate half a tonne of goat meat to community kitchen if elected mayor

(Thanks to pharmaross)

BUT FIRST YOU NEED A JOB IN JAPAN

In Japan, you can hire someone to quit your job for you.

(Thanks to Gary Schroeder)

ALWAYS THE LAST PLACE YOU LOOK

A Florida man involved in what police believe was a drug dispute ended up behind bars after what a nurse found in his butt during surgery.

(Thanks to pharmaross)

And of course we're all wondering what nursecindy would have had to say about this.

IT'S STARTING

Minot Air Force Base is overrun by squirrels

(Thanks to Unholy Slacker and pharmaross, who says they're "seeking enriched uranium.")

WHAT COULD POSSIBLY GO WRONG?

Chuck E. Cheese is opening arcades for adults

(Thanks to Ralph)