Lysa TerKeurst's Blog, page 13

Telling My Flesh No

I don’t like to be in pain. In any way. And if I’m not careful, this aversion to pain can lead to me grabbing at anyone and anything to fill the deep ache in my soul.

Maybe you can relate.

When you’re lonely and you see your ex-boyfriend post a picture with a new girl — laughing, holding hands, and looking like the happiest they’ve ever been — your flesh will want to grab at something. It’s hard not to comfort yourself by texting another guy to grab a little attention and make yourself feel better.

When you’re listening to other moms talk about all the progress their children are making in reading and your child can’t even identify letters yet, your flesh will want to grab at something. It’s hard not to throw out a statement to one-up the bragging moms in an area where your child is excelling.

And all these things we’re tempted to grab at? They won’t fill us the way we think they will. In the end, they only make us feel emptier. But how do we tell our flesh no when we are desperate for relief?

I have discovered that the more we fill ourselves from God’s life-giving love, the less we will be dictated by the grabby-ness of our flesh.



One of the most beautiful descriptions of the fullness of God is found in Paul’s prayer for the Ephesians:

“For this reason I kneel before the Father, from whom every family in heaven and on earth derives its name. I pray that out of his glorious riches he may strengthen you with power through his Spirit in your inner being, so that Christ may dwell in your hearts through faith. And I pray that you, being rooted and established in love, may have power, together with all the Lord’s holy people, to grasp how wide and long and high and deep is the love of Christ, and to know this love that surpasses knowledge — that you may be filled to the measure of all the fullness of God.” (Ephesians 3:14-19, NIV)

My favorite part of Paul’s prayer is him asking that we have the power to grasp the fullness of the love of Christ … for then we will be filled with the fullness of God.

If we grasp the full love of Christ, we won’t grab at other things to fill us. Or if we do, we’ll sense it. We’ll feel a prick in our spirit when our flesh makes frenzied swipes at happiness and we’ll pause.

In this pause lies the greatest daily choice we can make. Am I willing to tell my flesh no, so that I can say yes to the fullness of God in this situation?

And this isn’t about us putting on a brave face and hoping for the best when we feel powerless. We have the power through Christ, who is over every power, including the pull of the flesh.

When we have Christ, we are full — fully loved and accepted and empowered to say no.

This is true on the days we feel it, and it’s still true when we don’t feel Jesus’ love at all. If we live rooted and established in His love, we don’t just have knowledge of His love in our minds, but it becomes a reality that anchors us. Though winds of hurt blow, they cannot uproot us and rip us apart. His love holds us. His love grounds us. His love is a glorious weight preventing the harsh words and hurtful situations from being a destructive force. We feel the wind but aren’t destroyed by it. This is the “fullness of God.”

There is power in really knowing this. This isn’t dependent on what you’ve accomplished. Or on another person loving you or accepting you. Nor is it because you always feel full. You are full, because Christ brought the fullness to you.

Yes, I am fully loved, fully accepted, and fully empowered to say no to my flesh. Speak that truth in the power He’s given you. Believe that truth in the power He’s given you. Live that truth in the power He’s given you.

That’s how we tell our flesh no. That’s how we live fully prepared in the fullness of God.

If this post spoke to your heart, I’ve love to share my book, Uninvited with you! Today, I’m giving away 5 copies. To be entered to win, simply leave a comment below with the scripture verse you cling to in hard moments.

Related posts:

Pressing Through the Pain
Desperate for Reassurance
Why You Don’t Have to Fear the Upcoming Election

I’m Scared to Pray Boldly

I have to admit: Sometimes I’m scared to pray boldly.

It’s not at all that I don’t believe God can do anything. I absolutely do. I’m a wild-about-Jesus girl. Wild in my willingness. Wild in my obedience. Wild in my adventures with God.

So my hesitation isn’t rooted in any kind of doubt about God. It’s more rooted in doubts about myself and my ability to absolutely discern the will of God. The reality is sometimes God chooses not to do things. And if His will is “No,” while I am boldly praying for a “Yes,” it makes me feel out of step with God.

Can you relate?

I so desperately want to stay in the will of God that I find myself praying with clauses like: God please heal my friend, but if it’s Your will to take her, I will trust You.

I wonder why I don’t just boldly pray: God, please heal my friend. And then stand confidently knowing my prayers were not in vain — no matter what the outcome.



Praying boldly boots me out of that stale place of religious habit into authentic connection with God Himself.



Prayer opens my spiritual eyes to see things I can’t see on my own. And I’m convinced prayer matters. Prayers are powerful and effective if prayed from the position of a righteous heart (James 5:16).



So, prayer does make a difference — a life-changing, mind-blowing, earth-rattling difference. We don’t need to know how. We don’t need to know when. We just need to kneel confidently and know the tremors of a simple Jesus girl’s prayers extend far-wide and far-high and far-deep.



Letting that absolute truth slosh over into my soul snuffs out the flickers of hesitation. It bends my stiff knees. And it ignites a fresh, bold and even more wild fire within. Not bold as in bossy and demanding. But bold as in, I love my Jesus with all my heart, so why would I offer anything less than an ignited prayer life?



Jesus speaks specifically about igniting our prayer lives in Matthew 6, verses 6-8, “But when you pray, go into your room, close the door and pray to your Father, who is unseen. Then your Father, who sees what is done in secret, will reward you. And when you pray, do not keep on babbling like pagans, for they think they will be heard because of their many words. Do not be like them, for your Father knows what you need before you ask him” (NIV).



So let’s ask. And ask again. Not because we can cause God to move, but so that we’ll position our souls to see our sweet Jesus move in any which way He pleases.

Related posts:

Why Isn’t God Answering My Prayer?
Pressing Through the Pain
Download Your Free 10-Day Prayer Journal

What to Tell Yourself When Things Don’t Go Like You Hoped

When things don’t turn out like we hoped they would, we can start to feel a little disillusioned and doubtful that God has a good plan for us. That’s why I’m so thankful that my friend Jennifer Rothschild is guest posting on the blog today with some helpful things we can tell ourselves when those hard moments happen.

My Assistant, Angela, came into my office crying. I immediately jumped up and hugged her and said, “Whatever it is, it will be okay. Whatever it is, you will be okay.” I expected some terrible personal crisis; I was ready to be the consoling counselor.

“I need to resign; I’m going back to school.”

Suddenly, I was the one with a personal crisis. I didn’t want her to resign! I needed her to hug me and tell me, “Whatever it is, it will be okay.”

You know how this stuff feels, right? I was happy for her but unhappy for me. I now had to deal with a heart full of disappointment.

Many disappointments we deal with feel a lot worse – I know, sister. Dreams die. Relationships end. Husbands walk away. Health fails. Teenagers make bad choices. Friends can be unkind. Parents don’t act like grown-ups. Bosses aren’t always fair. We’re left heartbroken, confused, discouraged.

When we’re hit with these kind of circumstances, it’s hard to understand why they happen and how God can bring any good from them. It’s easy, and natural, to only see the bad and overlook the potential blessings that exist all at the same time. When we feel the most let down or bummed out, our heads can start to fill with negative thoughts, convincing us that happiness will never come our way again.

But sisters, no matter what your bad news may be, there really is good news! How you feel today does not have to be a prophecy for what you will experience tomorrow. What you think is true in the here and now may not even exist in the by and by. That’s why we need to learn to tell ourselves the truth.

When things don’t work out like you hoped, and you just want somebody to hug you and reassure you that everything will be okay, it’s important to remember that sometimes that somebody has to be you. Sometimes we just need to be able to counsel ourselves. We need to become our own consolers… our own counselors!

So, how do you become your own consoling counselor when life hands you a big disappointment? Invite yourself into your office for some counseling! Here are 3 things you can say to yourself:

• Tell yourself, “You won’t always feel this way.”

At first, I tried to get caught up in how happy I was for Angela and her future. After that, my mind reeled with the “what am I going to do” kinds of questions. I then thought about how much I would miss her and what a great assistant she was. Well, after that, I was just plain bummed. Disappointed.

When we first get hit with a situation that makes us sad, it can feel like we are at the bottom of a pit and it’s time to get “change of address” labels made – it feels like everything has changed and we will always feel this low.

Disappointment is a snapshot though. It’s not the whole photo album of your life! Tomorrow is a new day; you will turn the page to new possibilities and new emotions.

When you can recognize that you won’t always feel the intensity of disappointment, it grants you perspective. Just as a wound hurts most when it first happens, so does disappointment. Then, just as a wound heals and hurts less and less, so does disappointment. Scripture assures us God makes all things beautiful in His time. (Ecclesiastes 3:11) He does… so hold on.

• Tell yourself “It is what it is!”

In other words, accept it.

Now, bear with me sister. I don’t want you in any way to take that as a harsh, unfeeling drill sergeant kind of response! It’s a truthful response and good counselors always tell themselves the truth because telling the truth is always kind.

We may not like a circumstance, but a mature person doesn’t waste emotional and mental energy focusing on what should have happened or what we wish things were like. Acceptance doesn’t mean you like or approve of the situation, it just means you are willing to live in the “what is” rather than pining away with the “what ifs.”

Scripture tells us that God is a present help in times of trouble. (Psalm 46:1) God is present in your disappointment. He isn’t stuck back there with how you wish things were and He isn’t waiting out there somewhere in the future when things may be different – no sister, He is the God of now, of “what is.”

So, be present in the present, even if it is disappointing, because that is where God is – with you.

• Tell yourself, “Something new or better is around the corner.”

When we trust God, we don’t go backward. We only move forward with Him. So, what seems like a setback can really be the perfect position from which you can move forward in a new way.

Scripture teaches we go from glory to glory, strength to strength. (Psalm 84:7) As you move forward, you will be better equipped, more empathetic and expectant for what God will do next.

So, when disappointment arrives, become your own counselor… but, please don’t charge yourself for your services. One of the perks of healthy self-talk is that it’s free!

If this message spoke to your heart, Jennifer’s new book, Me, Myself, & Lies: What to Say When You Talk to Yourself is for you. In her book, you will discover even more practical ways that you can find freedom from lies by speaking truth to your soul.

And today, we’re giving away 5 copies! To be entered to win, leave a comment below with which statement you’re choosing to tell yourself this week.

Related posts:

Don’t just read God’s Word. Experience it!
How to Wait on God Without Losing Faith
Something I’ve Never Told Anyone

When You Don’t Know What to Say

I don’t understand some things that happen in life. When one of the most vivacious, fun-loving, beautiful, determined-to-tell-the-world-about-Jesus women I knew found out her cancer was back, my heart broke.

Short of a miraculous healing from God, Brenda wouldn’t make it through the end of that year.

One afternoon, I sat with Brenda talking and processing her reality. At one point she got very quiet. It was as if she could see things I couldn’t. After a few minutes of silent reflection, she leaned over and whispered, “I know in my heart I’m not going to be here much longer. And I need to know my girls will be okay. They need godly women to walk with them, speak into them and guide them into the future God has for them.”

With tears streaming down my face, I committed to being one of those women.

A few weeks later, Brenda’s feeling was confirmed as she let go of her family’s hand and walked into glory.

At the time, Paige and Philecia were only 19 and 14 years old, the same ages my eldest and youngest daughters were. I had no idea how to do this right. I didn’t have a game plan or a degree in grief counseling. My schedule was crazy. My own kids made me question my sanity some days. And I was so hyperaware of all the many ways I’m flawed. But one thing I knew I could do — be a female voice that whispered often into their lives, “I love you.”

Uttering three simple words into the deep grief of two brokenhearted little girls didn’t seem like much, but God used it in profound ways. 



I couldn’t take away their pain. But I could bring joy in the midst of it.



I whispered “I love you” at simple, everyday dinners at my house. I wrote “I love you” on the tops of their birthday gifts and Christmas morning surprises. I texted it when I invited them for afternoon coffee and movie dates. Nothing about it was organized or done perfectly. But just the effort seemed to be what mattered most.



I wonder if you have a friend going through a really tough time, especially this Mother’s Day. Maybe you know someone who has lost her mom, doesn’t have a relationship with her mom, or is struggling to get pregnant. Have you wrestled like I did with not knowing what to say? Been afraid of doing or saying the wrong thing? I understand.



But I’ve learned it’s better to risk doing it wrong than to do nothing at all. A simple “I love you” said or written in conjunction with meeting a practical need is a great place to start.



On their first Mother’s Day without Brenda, I knew the girls would need an “I love you” to help ease the ache of the day. So, I invited their family to join mine for dinner that night.



Halfway through the meal, I wished I had thought in advance of some wonderfully profound words to share to honor Brenda. But right as I was lamenting not being better prepared for this moment, Paige pulled out a framed letter they’d written to me. In honor of Brenda, they’d decided to give me a gift they knew she would have loved … a gold necklace.



I was crying so hard I could barely read their letter. But since then, I’ve read it many times as a reminder of how powerful love is. In the letter they included one of Brenda’s favorite verses, “I can do all this through him who gives me strength,” (Philippians 4:13). Interestingly enough, the very next verse reads, “Yet it was good of you to share in my troubles” (v.14).



Yes, it is good to share in each other’s troubles. And so, with a willing but very imperfect heart, I will keep whispering “I love you” into the lives of Brenda’s beautiful girls.



I still don’t understand why this happened. And I don’t always know the right things to say in response to deep grief. But I do know love is a beautiful thing to bring into the gap of life’s unknowns.

Related posts:

Why Isn’t God Answering My Prayer?
3 Things to Remember When It’s Hard to Forgive
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Don’t just read God’s Word. Experience it!

Before I went to Israel for the first time a few years ago, my Bible reading felt a bit thin and disconnected. What was once so invigorating felt more like another thing on my endlessly long to-do list.

You know, when a person lives with the stress of an overwhelmed schedule, they’ll ache with the sadness of an underwhelmed soul.

That ache of sadness was draining the life out of me and my desire to do ministry.

And then a friend called to invite me to study in Israel. My friend knew this trip would change me. There isn’t anything else that’s invigorated my passion for ministry like studying in the Holy Land and experiencing God’s Word up close.

Now, I know you’re thinking … That’s great for you, Lysa. But what if I never make it to the Holy Land? Can I still have that invigorating encounter with Scripture?

And the answer is yes. I want every woman to experience this same revival in their souls. That’s why I’ve partnered with LifeWay for an event called “The Word Alive.” It’s an immersive, two-day conference where you will:

Experience Scripture with elements that will help you see, taste, hear and touch the Holy Land without leaving the country.
Stop seeing your time in God’s Word as mundane or confusing by developing a genuine passion to study and practically apply Scriptures.
Know how to identify some often misunderstood details of crucial Bible stories.
Connect more deeply to God as you read His Word with more understanding and sense Him speaking personally to you.

Find out more and take advantage of early bird pricing here.

I hope to see you there!

Related posts:

3 Things to Tell Yourself When Social Media Makes You Envious
If God is Near, Why Does He Feel So Far Away?
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Why Isn’t God Answering My Prayer?

Have you ever cried over something so much that you run out of tears? Your swollen eyes just give out and dry up while a current of unrest still gushes through your soul. And you look up toward heaven in utter frustration.

Me too.

And there’s someone else in the Bible who was right there as well.

She felt provoked and irritated. Her anguish was so intense that she wept and would not eat. Before the Lord, she cried out in bitterness of soul, “Lord Almighty, if you will only look on your servant’s misery and remember me, and not forget your servant . . . then I will . . .” (1 Samuel 1:11).

These words describe and articulate the deep distress of a woman from thousands of years ago, and yet here I sit in modern times and I relate so completely. They are from the woman named Hannah found in 1 Samuel 1.

Hannah’s tears over her empty womb were made even more painful by her husband’s other wife, Peninnah. She had many sons and daughters and made sure to rub this fact in Hannah’s face every chance she got.

There’s a common thread that weaves through Hannah’s story, and yours and mine. We can all be found desperately wanting something that we see the Lord giving to other women. We see Him blessing them in the very areas He’s withholding from us. We look at them, and we feel set aside.

Why them? Why not me?

Then the seemingly unjust silence from God ushers us from a disturbed heart to weeping with bitterness of soul. And we start to feel something deep inside that comes in conflict with everything we hold true. If God is good, why isn’t He being good to me in this?

And in this moment of raw soul honesty, we’re forced to admit we feel a bit suspicious of God. We’ve done all we know to do. We’ve prayed all we know to pray. We’ve stood on countless promises with a brave face. And still nothing.

So what do we do when we feel set aside? What do we do when our heart is struggling to make peace between God’s ability to change hard things and His apparent decision not to change them for us?

We do what Hannah did. We keep pressing in.

Instead of taking matters into her own hands, Hannah took her requests to God. Instead of pulling away from Him in suspicion, she pressed in ever closer, filling the space of her wait with prayer.

Oh, how I love her unflinching faith. Where her barrenness and her mistreatment by Penninah could have caused Hannah to completely lose heart, she refused to be deterred from trusting in God. She possessed a faith that was not contingent upon her circumstances but based on what she knew to be true about her good and faithful God. A faith that led her to pray with so much passion and boldness in the tabernacle that Eli, the high priest, accused her of being drunk! (1 Samuel 1:13-14)

And in a matter of four verses (17–20), her cries of anguish gave way to the cries of her newborn son. Of course, 1 Samuel 1:20 uses very clear words to let us know Hannah’s answer didn’t come right away: “So in the course of time Hannah became pregnant and gave birth to a son” (emphasis added).

Samuel was born in God’s perfect timing. And the timing of his birth was imperative because Samuel was destined to play an integral role in the transition from the time of the judges to the eventual establishment of kingship for the Israelites.

God hadn’t made Hannah wait to punish her. He hadn’t been callous or indifferent to her cries. And He’s not ignoring those of us waiting either.

God loves us too much to answer our prayers at any other time than the right time.

—————————————————————————————————————

Are you or a friend dealing with that kind of a situation where you’re trusting God for something “in the course of time?” We know how incredibly hard that can be. That’s why Proverbs 31 Ministries is offering these hammered pendant necklaces with the phrase “See With My Heart” written in braille. They are a beautiful reminder to trust God even when you don’t understand His timing.

When we can’t see what God is doing with our physical eyes, we can choose to see with the eyes of our heart. We can touch the braille on this necklace and trust like Hannah did that in the course of time everything will work out according to God’s perfect plan.

Click here to purchase one for yourself or for a friend.

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A Gut-Honest Look at Love
How to Wait on God Without Losing Faith
Download Your Free 10-Day Prayer Journal

3 Things to Tell Yourself When Social Media Makes You Envious

If you’ve ever spent time on social media and felt like everyone else’s life was more glamorous than yours, their marriages more romantic than yours, and their kids more behaved than yours, I understand. And so does my friend, Karen Ehman. She’s guest posting on the blog today to help us hold on to truth in the moments where the comparison struggle is so very real and to teach us where to fix our eyes at times like this, enabling us to find true contentment and purpose. Don’t miss more information about an online Bible study based on her latest book that teaches us how to do this at the bottom of this post!

I sat in the waiting room of the dentist office, leisurely scrolling through the feed on my cell phone. Perhaps reading a few articles might help me forget about the needles and numbing I was about to receive. So, I scanned the various links I spied, clicking and reading, and then clicking some more.

One title caught my eye—an article about how social media can make you envious and perhaps even unhappy.

The article asserted that we escape our real lives each day by going to a virtual vacation destination: the land of social media. Our little excursions may start out benign enough—we see a friend’s post about being late to work or our cousin sharing her new favorite funny video clip—but, if we stay on long enough, the digital excursion just might take an unpleasant turn. Why? Because all that swiping and scrolling your way through the feeds can sometimes trigger feelings of envy. It may even tempt you to migrate your mind to a place of extreme sadness. As I read the article, I started to ponder whether I thought this concept is true, and I have to say it is!

So, what are we to do? Is there any way to stop letting the pesky green gremlin of envy ruin a perfectly good scrolling session?

Yes.

We need to learn to watch our words.

Oh, I don’t mean the words we might leave in a comment on social media (although we certainly should do that too!) I mean the words we speak to ourselves. Phrases like “Must be nice” “How come she always has everything so easy?” and other unhelpful conversations we have with ourselves. Instead, we need to learn to preach a few sermons to our very own souls.

Whenever I begin to feel envious, I lecture myself with at least one of three recalculating catchphrases. They go like this:

1. Remember, you’re only seeing the finished screen shot, not the reality backstage.

Social media is a best-foot-forward platform. We don’t create an account in order to share the not-so-nice aspects of our lives. Due to this, you might see the final results of a perfectly staged picture, but you don’t see what really happens behind the scenes.

When I was in college I was active in theatre. Our drama troupe put on fabulous musicals and compelling plays. What happened on stage was worthy of the curtain call applause we received. However, backstage our dressing rooms and the prop tables were in complete disarray! We hurried to change scenery—and to change clothing—leaving the backstage looking like a disaster zone. Social media is much the same. You never know what a mighty mess might be behind that perfectly staged photo.

2. You’re looking at the wrong person.

My mom taught me a valuable lesson in junior high. She told me that whenever I feel down about life and discontent with my current circumstances, I need to remember that there is always someone out there who is worse off than me. “Go find that person and make their day” she advised. “In some strange way it will make yours as well. Get your eyes off yourself, honey.” And you know what? She was right! What if, instead of being envious of those who have more than we do, we searched for the person who has it worse off than us and then did something to brighten their day? Yep. It snaps us right out of our melancholy mood. Jesus’ words ring true: “It is more blessed to give than to receive.” (Acts 20:35) Stop wishing to receive the same seemingly wonderful life as someone else. Go and give instead—a small gift, some kind words, a thoughtful gesture, or a helping hand. Make their day. It will make yours as well. And finally…

3. Spend more time touching lives than you do touching screens.

What we might need most is a break from our phones, laptops, and tablets. We spend loads of time touching screens each day yet considerably less time actually touching hearts and lives. So, shut off the phone, log out of your laptop or turn off that tablet. Spend time with someone you love in person. Take a walk and catch up on life. Go out for coffee and inquire how they are doing and then really listen WITHOUT ever checking your phone! Connect heart to heart with a friend or loved one without the presence of any device. When daily we touch screens—leaving comments and liking statuses—we might feel we are connecting with others, and certainly in a sense we are. But not in the most important way. Never let touch-screen communicating take the place of up-close, in-person, real life relationships. It can help to reset your emotions when you spend time with a real-life friend.

Let’s vow this week to use social media properly and not allow it to trigger envy and sadness or to tempt us engage in destructive self-talk. Then, we can learn to leave the land of “Must be nice!” and instead dwell contently in the middle of the exact life God has chosen for us.

If this post resonated with you, you’ll absolutely love Karen’s new book Listen, Love, Repeat: Other-Centered Living in a Self-Centered World. I’m thrilled to announce that we are hosting an online study of it through Proverbs 31 Ministries that begins today! We’ll give you the first two chapters free so there is still plenty of time to join our community. Click here for more info or to sign up. And we’re giving away 3 copies of Listen, Love, Repeat today! To be entered, comment below with which one of Karen’s points you’re going to implement this week.

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Something I’ve Never Told Anyone
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Pressing Through the Pain

Does it ever feel like the heartbreak in your life is trying to break you?

I understand. I really, really do. I’ve been in that place where the pain of heartbreak hits with such sudden and sharp force that it feels like it cuts through skin and bone. It’s the kind of pain that leaves us wondering if we’ll ever be able to function like a normal person again.

But God has been tenderly reminding me that pain itself is not the enemy. Pain is the indicator that brokenness exists.

Pain is the reminder that the real enemy is trying to take us out and bring us down by keeping us stuck in broken places. Pain is the gift that motivates us to fight with brave tenacity and fierce determination, knowing there’s healing on the other side.

And in the in-between? In that desperate place where we aren’t quite on the other side of it all yet, and our heart still feels quite raw?

Pain is the invitation for God to move in and replace our faltering strength with His. I’m not writing that to throw out spiritual platitudes that sound good; I write it from the depth of a heart that knows it’s the only way.

We must invite God into our pain to help us survive the desperate in-between.

The only other choice is to run from the pain by using some method of numbing. But numbing the pain — with food, achievements, drugs, alcohol or sex — never goes to the source of the real issue to make us healthier. It only silences our screaming need for help.

We think we are freeing ourselves from the pain when, in reality, what numbs us imprisons us. If we avoid the hurt, the hurt creates a void in us. It slowly kills the potential for our hearts to fully feel, fully connect, fully love again. It even steals the best in our relationship with God.

Pain is the sensation that indicates a transformation is needed. There is a weakness where new strength needs to enter in. And we must choose to pursue long-term strength rather than temporary relief.

So how do we get this new strength? How do we stop ourselves from chasing what will numb us when the deepest parts of us scream for some relief? How do we stop the piercing pain of this minute, this hour?

We invite God’s closeness.

For me, this means praying. No matter how vast our pit, prayer is big enough to fill us with the realization of His presence like nothing else.

James 4:8a reminds us that when we draw near to God, He will draw near to us. When we invite Him close, He always accepts our invitation.

And on the days when my heart feels hurt and my words feel quite flat, I let Scripture guide my prayers — recording His Word in my journal, and then adding my own personal thoughts.

One of my personal favorites to turn to is Psalm 91. I would love to share this verse with you today, as an example for when you prayerfully invite God into your own pain.

Verse: “Whoever dwells in the shelter of the Most High will rest in the shadow of the Almighty.” (Psalm 91:1, NIV)

Prayer: Lord, draw me close.

Your Word promises when I draw close to You, You are there. I want my drawing close to be a permanent dwelling place. At any moment when I feel weak and empty and alone, I pray that I won’t let those feelings drag me down into a pit of insecurity. But rather, I want those feelings to be triggers for me to immediately lift those burdensome feelings to You and trade them for the assurance of Your security.

I am not alone, because You are with me. I am not weak, because Your strength is infused in me. I am not empty, because I’m drinking daily from Your fullness. You are my dwelling place. And in You I have shelter from every stormy circumstance and harsh reality. I’m not pretending the hard things don’t exist, but I am rejoicing in the fact that Your covering protects me and prevents those hard things from affecting me like they used to.

You, the Most High, have the final say over me. You know me and love me intimately. And today I declare that I will trust You in the midst of my pain. You are my everyday dwelling place, my saving grace.

In Jesus’ Name, Amen.

And with that I close my prayer journal, feeling a lot less desperate and a lot more whole. I breathe the atmosphere of life His words bring.

I picture Him standing at the door of my future, knocking. If I will let Him enter into the darkness of my hurt today, He will open wide the door to a much brighter tomorrow.

(Find more scriptural prayers written out for you in my book, Uninvited. Click here to get your copy.)

Related posts:

What to Do When You Don’t Know What to Do
Seeing Beauty Instead of Pain
Download Your Free 10-Day Prayer Journal

I Have Trust Issues

I want life to be as stable as a math problem. Two plus two always equals four. It will equal four today, tomorrow and into the tomorrows years from now.

Math equations don’t experience breakups and letdowns. They don’t get cancer. Or have their best friend get transferred and move across the country. They don’t have affairs or unmatched affections. They are highly predictable. Therefore, they are easy to trust.

But life doesn’t add up. People don’t add up. And in the rawest moments of honest hurting, God doesn’t add up. All of which makes us hold our trust ever so close to our chests until it becomes more tied to our fears than to our faith.

That’s where I was when Bob and Maria stuck out their hands to shake mine and invite me to their mountain home. I needed God to untangle some of my trust issues.

They were having a retreat at their mountain home with an eclectic group of some of their favorite people, and somehow I got on that list.

It was all going well until someone handed me a helmet. We were about to do a ropes course.

And not just any old ropes course. The grand dismount of this course was a leap from a platform to catch a bar suspended several feet away. I started looking around for the emergency exit, because there was no way on God’s green earth they were going to get me to jump.

And then Bob appeared. With his enormous smile, grandfather-gray hair and arms magnetic with the purest grace, he drew me over to the edge.

“Lysa, this isn’t about finishing the ropes course. This is about conquering your hesitancy, resistance and fear. These ropes holding you will only let you slightly drop if you miss the bar. Then they will catch, and you absolutely will not fall,” he whispered as if he had a window view inside of my soul.

I looked at the space between the edge of the platform and the bar. I saw death. Bob saw life.

What a visual for the word trust.

What we see will violate what we know unless what we know dictates what we see.

Bob knew the ropes would hold me. And he knew that my ability to survive this jump had absolutely nothing to do with my efforts. I was held safe standing on the platform. I would be held safe in midair. And I would absolutely be safe, whether or not I caught the bar.

Bob whispered, “You are absolutely loved. Now, when you’re ready, jump.”

I can’t tell you how long I stood there. It felt like days and milliseconds all at the same time. The world swirled and tilted and shifted without me so much as twitching a muscle fiber. I forgot to breathe. I couldn’t even blink.

I would imagine you’ve been in situations that have felt quite paralyzing as well. And it’s in these times I have to tie my heart to soul-steadying verses like Hebrews 13:5b-6: “For God has said, ‘I will never fail you. I will never abandon you.’ So we can say with confidence, ‘The LORD is my helper, so I will have no fear. What can mere people do to me?’”.

Just like those ropes wrapped around and around my body holding me to the course from beginning to end, God’s Word can wrap our souls with steady assurance.

The peace of our souls does not have to rise and fall with unpredictable people or situations. Our feelings will shift, of course. People do affect us. But the peace of our souls is tethered to all that God is. And though we can’t predict His specific plans, the fact that God will work everything together for good is a completely predictable promise.

Bob whispered one final thing: “It’s already done.”

I don’t know exactly what he meant, but I know what my soul heard. God has already caught me. His goodness and love have pursued me and won me. I just need to jump into that reality. And without any other conscious thought, my soul kicked in where my brain could not. My feet exploded off the platform and into midair.

I touched the bar, but I did not catch it. I didn’t need to. Because trust caught me.

Lord, I can’t thank You enough for the promise that I can trust You at all times. Even though people may fail me … even though others may abandon me … You never will. I’m choosing to let that truth steady my heart today. In Jesus’ Name, Amen.

This blog post was taken from my new book Uninvited: Living Loved When You Feel Less Than, Left Out, and Lonely. You can find out more and order your copy by clicking here.

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The Crushing Times

No one wants to have their heart crushed. But being wounded in deep places happens. Sometimes it just seems to be part of the rhythm of life.

And when these hard times come, we feel it all so very deeply. And we wonder if others have these hard, hard moments. After all, we don’t snap pictures of the crushing times and post them on Instagram.

We just wonder if we have what it takes to survive …

… when the doctor calls and says he needs to talk to me in person about the test results.

… when the teacher sends one of “those” emails about my child.

… when someone I love closes their heart and turns their back on me.

… when I feel so utterly incapable and unable and afraid.

I suspect you know the tear-filled place from which I speak.

So, let’s journey to the olive tree and learn.

To get to the place I want to take you, we must cross the Kidron Valley in Israel.

John 18:1-2 tells us, “When he had finished praying, Jesus left with his disciples and crossed the Kidron Valley. On the other side there was an olive grove, and he and his disciples went into it. Now Judas, who betrayed him, knew the place, because Jesus had often met there with his disciples” (NIV).

Jesus often met in the shadow and shade of the olive tree.

The olive grove mentioned above is the Garden of Gethsemane. This garden is where Jesus, just before his arrest, said to Peter, James and John, “My soul is overwhelmed with sorrow to the point of death,” (Mark 14:34, NIV).

Jesus knew the crushing-heart feeling. He felt it. He wrestled with it. He carried it.

And I don’t think it was a coincidence the olive tree was there in this moment of deep sorrow for Jesus.

The olive tree is such a picture of why our hearts must go through the crushing times.

The crushing times are necessary times.

First, in order to be fruitful the olive tree has to have both the east wind and the west wind. The east wind is the dry hot wind from the desert. This is a harsh wind. So harsh that it can blow over green grass and make it completely wither in one day.

The west wind, on the other hand, comes from the Mediterranean. It brings rain and life.

The olive tree needs both of these winds to produce fruit — and so do we. We need both winds of hardship and relief to sweep across our lives if we are to be truly fruitful.

The crushing times are processing times.

Another thing to consider about the olive tree is how naturally bitter the olive is and what it must go through to be useful. If you were to pick an olive from the tree and try to eat it this month, its bitterness would make you sick.

For the olive to be edible, it has to go through a lengthy process that includes:

washing,

breaking,

soaking,

sometimes salting,

and waiting some more.

It is a lengthy process to be cured of bitterness and prepared for usefulness.

If we are to escape the natural bitterness of the human heart, we have to go through a long process as well … the process of being cured.

The crushing times are preservation times.

The final thing I want to consider about the olive is the best way to preserve it for the long run. It must be crushed in order to extract the oil. The same is true for us. The biblical way to be preserved is to be pressed. And being pressed can certainly feel like being crushed.

But what about 2 Corinthians 4:8, where it says we are “pressed … but not crushed”? Let’s read verses 8 and 9 in the King James Version: “We are troubled on every side, yet not distressed; we are perplexed, but not in despair; Persecuted, but not forsaken; cast down, but not destroyed;”

This was one of the biggest “aha” moments for me standing in the shadow of the olive tree: crushing isn’t the olive’s end.

Crushing is the way of preservation for the olive. It’s also the way to get what’s most valuable, the oil, out of the olive. Keeping this perspective is how we can be troubled on every side yet not distressed … pressed to the point of being crushed but not crushed and destroyed.

I think I need to revisit these truths often:

When the sorrowful winds of the east blow, I forget they are necessary.

When I’m being processed, I forget it’s for the sake of ridding me of bitterness.

And when I’m being crushed, I forget it’s for the sake of my preservation.

I forget all these things so easily. I wrestle and cry and honestly want to resist every bit of this.

Oh, how I forget.

Maybe God knew we all would forget.

And so, He created the olive tree.

If this spoke to your heart, I recently filmed a teaching in the Garden of Gethsemane for the Uninvited Bible study, and I’d love to share it with you. That’s why I’m giving away 10 Uninvited study packs that include the Uninvited book, study guide, and DVD! To enter, leave a comment below with how this teaching helped you today.

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