Daniel Bailey's Blog, page 2
June 24, 2014
youngmanhattanite:
zachlinder replied to your photo: BRB....
zachlinder replied to your photo: BRB. Getting this engraved on our headstone.
this blog is still around?
i would like to thank god and the georgia department of driver services.
nbacooldudes:
JaVale McGee — Denver Nuggets
beating the third...
JaVale McGee — Denver Nuggets
beating the third quarter buzzer / eatin sum honey from the pot.
we were totally at this game.
June 19, 2014
humblr.com
where you go to follow all the blogs dedicated to cutting you down
i always imagine that people who write on tumblr about their jobs all work in skyscrapers
i always imagine that people who write on tumblr about their jobs all work in skyscrapers
June 17, 2014
What Sticks To The Real
In one of his incredible letters to Federico Garcia Lorca in After Lorca, Jack Spicer insists that, “A really perfect poem has an infinitely small vocabulary.” I have always been moved to radical excitement by this idea, yet have never been completely sure of its application. That…
watching the spurs has always made me feel jealous of anyone from san antonio, that i don’t have any natural way to claim fanhood, except to be constantly awed by them.
these finals were a great ending to a great NBA season.
June 6, 2014
markbaumer:
text:...
text: “the/marriage/went/into/multiple/organ/failure/and/died/everybody/ultimately/dies/alone”
for sale: $5 (shipping included)
On page 146 of “Freedom,”Jonathan Franzen did marriage because he thought doing marriage would make him less like himself and more happy.
June 4, 2014
i have a new essay up at the fanzine about living relatives of...
i have a new essay up at the fanzine about living relatives of adolf hitler, evil, inheritance, cowardice, etc.
i hope it is not too much.
the paintings accompanying the text are by seattle-based painter justin duffus, and i think they’re great.
at least go look at the paintings.
May 31, 2014
10 MILLION COWBOYS ON TEN MILLION LOVESTRICKEN RIDGES
I WANT TO FEEL LESS CRAZY THAN I FEEL WHEN I HOLD MY ARMS IN MY HANDS
TURN ON THE PORCH LIGHT AND WATCH THE FLOOD OF QUIET FOLKS TALKING TO GOD FILL THE GUTTERS AND POUR INTO THE SEWER WHICH IS CRACKED STONE AND DEAD LEAVES
LAY TEN MILLION BLANKETS ATOP THE NORTH POLE
TAKE A PICTURE OF THE TEN MILLION BLANKETS ATOP THE NORTH POLE AND EMAIL THE PICTURE TO THE GUYS WITH THE CAPTION “GLOBAL WARMING”
THERE IS A BABY BROKEN OUT EARLY AND ITS STANCE IS “PRO-DEATH”
THE ART OF BAD ART BY DANIEL BAILEY AVAILABLE VIA DEATH/EATING THIS BOOK AFTER SOAKING IT IN ARSENIC IF THESE WORDS EVER MAKE IT INTO A BOOK
I WANT TO KNOW WHO HUNG THE WATERPROOF DEATHLIGHT FROM MY SHOWER ROD
DOES SOMEONE WHO OWNS A SCULPTURE GARDEN WANT ME DEAD SO THEY CAN USE MY DEATH AS THE CAST FOR A SCULPTURE TO BE PLACED IN THE SCULPTURE GARDEN?
CAN I AT LEAST ORDER MYSELF A BEER VIA SKYMALL?
CAN DEREK JETER DIP AN INK PEN INTO MY BLOOD STREAM THUSLY AUTOGRAPHING MY LIFE?
IT’S COOL BEING BORN AND THEN BORN AGAIN AND THEN BORN AGAIN AGAIN AND THEN BORN AGAIN AGAIN AGAIN AND THEN BORN AGAIN AGAIN AGAIN AGAIN AND THEN BORN AGAIN AGAIN AGAIN AGAIN AGAIN AND THEN BORN AGAIN AGAIN AGAIN AGAIN AGAIN AGAIN AND THEN BORN AGAIN AGAIN AGAIN AGAIN AGAIN AGAIN AGAIN AND THEN BORN AGAIN AGAIN AGAIN AGAIN AGAIN AGAIN AGAIN AGAIN AND THEN BORN AGAIN AGAIN AGAIN AGAIN AGAIN AGAIN AGAIN AGAIN AGAIN AND THEN BORN AGAIN AGAIN AGAIN AGAIN AGAIN AGAIN AGAIN AGAIN AGAIN AGAIN AND THEN BORN AGAIN AGAIN AGAIN AGAIN AGAIN AGAIN AGAIN AGAIN AGAIN AGAIN AGAIN AND THEN BORN AGAIN AGAIN AGAIN AGAIN AGAIN AGAIN AGAIN AGAIN AGAIN AGAIN AGAIN AGAIN AND THEN BORN AGAIN AGAIN AGAIN AGAIN AGAIN AGAIN AGAIN AGAIN AGAIN AGAIN AGAIN AGAIN AGAIN AND THEN BORN AGAIN AGAIN AGAIN AGAIN AGAIN AGAIN AGAIN AGAIN AGAIN AGAIN AGAIN AGAIN AGAIN AGAIN AND THEN BORN AGAIN AGAIN AGAIN AGAIN AGAIN AGAIN AGAIN AGAIN AGAIN AGAIN AGAIN AGAIN AGAIN AGAIN AGAIN AND THEN BORN AGAIN AGAIN AGAIN AGAIN AGAIN AGAIN AGAIN AGAIN AGAIN AGAIN AGAIN AGAIN AGAIN AGAIN AGAIN AND THEN BORN AGAIN AGAIN AGAIN AGAIN AGAIN AGAIN AGAIN AGAIN AGAIN AGAIN AGAIN AGAIN AGAIN AGAIN AGAIN AGAIN AGAIN AND THEN BORN AGAIN AGAIN AGAIN AGAIN AGAIN AGAIN AGAIN AGAIN AGAIN AGAIN AGAIN AGAIN AGAIN AGAIN AGAIN AGAIN AGAIN AGAIN AND THEN BORN AGAIN AGAIN AGAIN AGAIN AGAIN AGAIN AGAIN AGAIN AGAIN AGAIN AGAIN AGAIN AGAIN AGAIN AGAIN AGAIN AGAIN AGAIN AGAIN AND THEN BORN AGAIN AGAIN AGAIN AGAIN AGAIN AGAIN AGAIN AGAIN AGAIN AGAIN AGAIN AGAIN AGAIN AGAIN AGAIN AGAIN AGAIN AGAIN AGAIN AGAIN AND THEN BORN AGAIN AGAIN AGAIN AGAIN AGAIN AGAIN AGAIN AGAIN AGAIN AGAIN AGAIN AGAIN AGAIN AGAIN AGAIN AGAIN AGAIN AGAIN AGAIN AGAIN AGAIN AND THEN BORN AGAIN AGAIN AGAIN AGAIN AGAIN AGAIN AGAIN AGAIN AGAIN AGAIN AGAIN AGAIN AGAIN AGAIN AGAIN AGAIN AGAIN AGAIN AGAIN AGAIN AGAIN AGAIN AND THEN BORN AGAIN AGAIN AGAIN AGAIN AGAIN AGAIN AGAIN AGAIN AGAIN AGAIN AGAIN AGAIN AGAIN AGAIN AGAIN AGAIN AGAIN AGAIN AGAIN AGAIN AGAIN AGAIN AGAIN AND THEN BORN AGAIN AGAIN AGAIN AGAIN AGAIN AGAIN AGAIN AGAIN AGAIN AGAIN AGAIN AGAIN AGAIN AGAIN AGAIN AGAIN AGAIN AGAIN AGAIN AGAIN AGAIN AGAIN AGAIN AGAIN AND THEN BORN AGAIN AGAIN AGAIN AGAIN AGAIN AGAIN AGAIN AGAIN AGAIN AGAIN AGAIN AGAIN AGAIN AGAIN AGAIN AGAIN AGAIN AGAIN AGAIN AGAIN AGAIN AGAIN AGAIN AGAIN AGAIN AND THEN BORN AGAIN AGAIN AGAIN AGAIN AGAIN AGAIN AGAIN AGAIN AGAIN AGAIN AGAIN AGAIN AGAIN AGAIN AGAIN AGAIN AGAIN AGAIN AGAIN AGAIN AGAIN AGAIN AGAIN AGAIN AGAIN AGAIN AND THEN BORN AGAIN AGAIN AGAIN AGAIN AGAIN AGAIN AGAIN AGAIN AGAIN AGAIN AGAIN AGAIN AGAIN AGAIN AGAIN AGAIN AGAIN AGAIN AGAIN AGAIN AGAIN AGAIN AGAIN AGAIN AGAIN AGAIN AGAIN AND THEN BORN AGAIN AGAIN AGAIN AGAIN AGAIN AGAIN AGAIN AGAIN AGAIN AGAIN AGAIN AGAIN AGAIN AGAIN AGAIN AGAIN AGAIN AGAIN AGAIN AGAIN AGAIN AGAIN AGAIN AGAIN AGAIN AGAIN AGAIN AGAIN AND THEN BORN AGAIN AGAIN AGAIN AGAIN AGAIN AGAIN AGAIN AGAIN AGAIN AGAIN AGAIN AGAIN AGAIN AGAIN AGAIN AGAIN AGAIN AGAIN AGAIN AGAIN AGAIN AGAIN AGAIN AGAIN AGAIN AGAIN AGAIN AGAIN AGAIN AND THEN BORN AGAIN AGAIN AGAIN AGAIN AGAIN AGAIN AGAIN AGAIN AGAIN AGAIN AGAIN AGAIN AGAIN AGAIN AGAIN AGAIN AGAIN AGAIN AGAIN AGAIN AGAIN AGAIN AGAIN AGAIN AGAIN AGAIN AGAIN AGAIN AGAIN AGAIN AND THEN BORN AGAIN AGAIN AGAIN AGAIN AGAIN AGAIN AGAIN AGAIN AGAIN AGAIN AGAIN AGAIN AGAIN AGAIN AGAIN AGAIN AGAIN AGAIN AGAIN AGAIN AGAIN AGAIN AGAIN AGAIN AGAIN AGAIN AGAIN AGAIN AGAIN IN AGAIN AGAIN AGAIN AGAIN AGAIN AGAIN AGAIN AGAIN AGAIN AGAIN AGAIN AGAIN AGAIN AGAIN AGAIN AGAIN AGAIN AGAIN AGAIN AGAIN AGAIN AGAIN AND SOME MORE AND AGAIN AGAIN AGAIN AGAIN AGAIN AGAIN AGAIN AGAIN AGAIN AGAIN AGAIN
SEPIA3PO'S LIST OF DEMANDS
A MAN WHO LOVES THE BEACH BUYS BEACHFRONT PROPERTY, ONLY TO SPEND THE REST OF HIS LIFE CURSING THE OCEAN, BECAUSE THE MAN WHO LOVES THE BEACH IS ALSO THE MAN WHO HATES THE OCEAN
HOW GOOD WOULD IT FEEL TO MAKE THIS TIME A SUNTORY TIME?
THERE ARE BABY BIRDS WITHIN 25 FEET OF ME NOW
I WILL NOT SEARCH FOR THESE BIRDS, OPTING TO LET THEM BE UNMOLESTED AND TO ENJOY THEIR SHRIEKING
HOW GOOD WOULD IT FEEL TO BE ABDUCTED BY THE EMPTY SKY
O ON THE PELICAN CAROUSEL I AM WEARING CORDUROYS BECAUSE I AM GOING TO GIVE YOU A PEP TALK
PEPPING YOU UP JUST PEPPING YOU UP
PEPPING YOU UP FOR LIFE
AS IF THE BABY IS NOT EATING ME
AS IF WADDLING TOO DEEP INTO THE THICKET MEANS NOW SO THE THICKET
A CAVE GIVES BIRTH TO A BABY CAVE, WHICH IMMEDIATELY BECOMES A MEMORY TO THE MUCH LARGER MAMA CAVE
BUT THEN AGAIN WHAT OF MY OWN LIFE HAS NOT BEEN THROWN LIKE MEMORY CAVE AGAINST THE FOUNDATION OF MY NEW HOME
WHERE PIXELDUST IS MADE IN THE EMPTY DESK SPACE BEHIND ME
WHERE I WATERED THE PLANTS AND THEN IT RAINED
I WATCHED THE SUN GATHER MOSS
I SOUGHT OUT THE BABY BIRDS TO MOLEST THEM WITH MY CAMERA BUT I FOUND ONLY AN EMPTY NEST
I AM SORRY IF I HAVE MOLESTED THE TRUTH FROM ALL OF THIS
BUT THE YARD MUST NOW BE BURIED AND THE FAMILY DOG MUST STARE AT THE THREATENED WREN AND PISS
AND THE SMOKE DETECTOR MALFUNCTIONS BECAUSE IT IS FILLED WITH ANTS
WHAT HAS BEEN CONQUERED OF MY LIFE PRINTED OUT, STUFFED INTO A PLASTIC BAG AND PULVERIZED BY RAIN FOR A WEEK AT THE FOOT OF THE RICH DOCTOR’S DRIVEWAY
IT IS NOT A SUNTORY TIME
"EVERYTHING IS SOMETHING ELSE" BUMPER STICKER
VS.
"PRO-DEATH" BUMPER STICKER
FIRST OFF AND ANOTHER THING WALK INTO AN EMPTY, CROWDED BAR
YOUR GAG REFLEX AGOG COME WITHER ANON
NOW CROWS FILL THE TREE TO THE EAST
THOUGHT TO TEXT MY WIFE, “DID IT RAIN ALL DAY?”
FOLLOWED BY “75% OF MY DRIVE WAS IN DOWNPOUR”
I WILL COME I WILL ARRIVE I WILL MEET EVERY CHALLENGE AND THEN FORGET THE CHALLENGE’S NAME BECAUSE ALL THESE CHALLENGES LOOK ALIKE AND HAVE SIMILAR-SOUNDING NAMES
IT’S A CLEAR SKY, I THINK THE RAIN COULD STAND TO BE WETTER
AND THE EMPLOYEE OF THE MONTH LETS IT GO TO HIS HEAD
May 27, 2014
IT IS TIME TO BUILD A WEBSITE OF FLESH AND BONE AND TO MOVE INTO SAID WEBSITE AND FEAST
A TOMBSTONE THAT IS A BILLBOARD THAT READS “TOO MANY PEOPLE”
I AM TIRED FOR THE WRONG REASONS
A NATURAL DISASTER WHERE ALL LEAVES IN A FOREST FALL SIMULTANEOUSLY
MY LIFE IS FAR TOO MARKETABLE
WHICH IS THE MOST MARKETABLE NATURAL DISASTER?
EVERY NATURAL DISASTER HAS BEEN OR WILL BE MADE INTO A MOVIE
I WANT TO START MANUFACTURING TOMBSTONES OUT OF PLASTIC
MY PRODUCT WILL BE CALLED “TOMBPLASTICS”
BUT EVERYONE WILL CALL STILL CALL THEM “TOMBSTONES”
"NO AMOUNT OF RAIN WILL BE ABLE TO WASH AWAY YOUR NAME" WILL BE A LINE IN A TOMBPLASTIC COMMERCIAL
A WASP ON THE CEILING
A FRUIT SO BIG THAT IT RIPS OFF THE BRANCH ON WHICH IT GROWS
ENTERING YOUR OWN CLOSET, BECOMING A SKELETON
I HAVE SURVIVED EVERY WAR THAT HAS BEEN FOUGHT DURING MY LIFETIME
