Sundi Jo Graham's Blog, page 35

How to Step out of Your Comfort Zone

I love to make people laugh. In many cases, I’m the life of the party. Many people are surprised to know that I am actually shy.

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Here’s what I’m learning about myself: I’m more of an introvert than I thought. 

At least three times per month, I attend networking events with my local chamber. I’ve been doing it for several months and it’s still hard for me. Actually, it’s so awkward I fret about it constantly before attending. I even have pep talks with myself on the drive there.

As I get out of the car and walk towards the front door, I pray silently under my breath, “God speak through me. You know I don’t want to do this, but with your strength I can.”

I want to stand in a corner, hold my cell phone up and pretend I’m talking to someone so I look important and involved in “networking”. I want to find someone I know, cling on to them and walk behind them like a lost puppy dog, but I can’t.

Why? Because these events aren’t about me.

They’re about something greater than myself. Something I have to stand up for and tell the world about. I have to step out of my comfort zone and remind myself that today could be the day I make a connection that could change the lives of women forever because I told at least one more person about Esther’s House.

So, there I sit at a table surrounded by people I don’t know, and if we’re being honest, people my flesh doesn’t really want to know, because it’s too uncomfortable for me.

Then I ask myself this question. What would Jennifer and Louanne do? 

Jennifer and Louanne are two of my greatest friends. They’re in my “circle”. They know me from the inside out. They also don’t know a stranger. Networking is in their blood. They would meet everyone in the room if possible, and enjoy it. Oh how we’re so different.

But it works for me. So, I put a smile on my face and I “fake it til I make it”. I shake hands. I create conversation. I laugh at people’s jokes when they’re not funny at all. Sometimes I picture myself pulling out the executive’s nose hairs sitting next to me, because I can’t look at him one minute longer. (Hey.. Just being honest.)

Then I actually start to enjoy myself. 

My smile becomes genuine. My interest in conversation is more in-depth. By the end of it, I’ve made some great connections.

Networking isn’t natural for me, but that doesn’t mean it’s not necessary. It grows me. It’s uncomfortable. It’s hard for me.

God didn’t create us to just follow the easy things. He doesn’t call us to things bigger than we are and say they are going to be easy. He gets us through those things, but He never said it would be easy.

So, next time you’re in an uncomfortable position, ask yourself, What would Jennifer and Louanne do? 

What takes you out of your comfort zone? I’d love to hear. Share in the comments below…

The Truth About Dieting

If you have been overweight for any amount of time, I’m sure you have exposed yourself to the hundreds, if not thousands of dieting books on the market. If you get nothing else out of this post, get this:

THROW THEM AWAY NOW! 

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Why?

Diets rarely ever work.
They are usually temporary.
They play unnecessary mind games with those of us desperately seeking change.

These are only a few reasons. Think about this.

The diet industry is a multibillion-dollar enterprise, raking in over $40 billion per year.

If diets worked, would there really be a reason for such a large industry? 

Nobody ever tells you the mental strain dieting will put on you. That the majority of today’s television and magazine ads try and convince us that if women aren’t a size 3 they are fat. That diet pills and other “quick, fat-burning” solutions do more harm for your body than good.

At least, nobody told me that. Or maybe I just wasn’t listening.

At the end of every diet the path curves back to the trough. - Mason Cooley

I couldn’t have said it better myself. In my opinion, and it’s just that, every diet will lead you back to where you started. And most of the time, when you get back there you’ll most likely have gained more weight. No wonder the depression rates are climbing.

It’s hard to get out of the pit when we keep digging the pit deeper. 

There’s an English proverb that says,

Don’t dig your grave with your own knife and fork.

There is so much truth in that simple statement.

If you have believed the lies that there is nothing else you can do and you’re just destined to be “fat” for the rest of your life, I will now share with you my new favorite word:

MALARKEY!

ma-lar-key

noun. Nonsense; foolish talk.

There is a way out. It’s not an overnight rescue. There is no quick promise.

If you are going to succeed in weight loss, you are going to have to learn to be determined.

To keep going. To work hard.  I wish I had started a lot sooner. I wish I had saved all the money I spent on trying new diets. I wish I could have been healthier in high school and enjoyed more activities with friends.

If I had done all those things then, perhaps I would have enjoyed my life more. But I didn’t do those things.

Instead I made excuses. I quit. I gave up time and time again. Maybe you have too. Maybe you are ready to give up today.

It’s time to stop waiting for an easy fix and start a new journey. 

These words are taken from my free ebook, Step Away from that Diet: Ten Steps to Losing Weight and Gaining the Confidence You’ve Been Searching For. They were written from the heart with the goal to inspire others to change their lives and say goodbye to dieting once and for all.

I’d love for you to read the rest of the book and get to the nitty gritty of the ten steps you can take to start losing weight and changing your life today. Simply sign up for my newsletter and the book will quickly be delivered to your “doorstep” – okay, inbox.

Oh.. and a quick reminder, I recently wrote about how you can keep from gaining weight over the holidays. Check out the post here. 

What’s keeping your from gaining the confidence you’ve been search for? I’d love to hear in the comments below… 

Don’t Sweat the Small Stuff

There’s some advice rolling around in the world that tells us not to sweat the small stuff. As a matter of fact, there’s even a book called Don’t Sweat the Small Stuff… and it’s all small stuff. 

It’s all small stuff! Really? You know what Beth Moore says about that?

I’d like to stuff a sweaty sock in the mouth of the person who first said that.

Love her tenacity and boldness. I would have to agree.

All stuff isn’t created equal. 

My step-dad’s father is being transitioned into a nursing home as you read this. He can no longer walk on his own. Two weeks ago he left his home for the hospital, and today he’s facing the reality that he’ll never go back there.

I have a friend whose eating disorder is controlling her life right now and she sees no hope for tomorrow.

I have another friend whose family member attempted suicide last week.

It’s not all small stuff.

Moore says,

Worldly philosophy is forced to minimize difficulty because it has no real answers.

You and I know better than that. There is a lot of big stuff out there and there’s only one way to get through it: prayer. 

We may not need to sweat the small stuff, but what about the ginormous boulders rolling toward us? You bet I’m going to sweat it. There’s a boulder rolling toward me!

But while I’m sweating I’m gonna pray! 

It’s time to pray, friends. Time to “roll away the stone of prayerlessness” as Beth says. Time to pursue a deeper intimacy with the God who created you. It’s time to throw the ideals of this world aside and fix our eyes on the Prince of Peace. It’s the only way we’ll get through the big stuff.

What big stuff are you prayerfully overcoming right now? Share in the comments below… 

Join Me for #GivingTuesday

First there was Black Friday. Then there is Cyber Monday. Today, however, I want to introduce you #GivingTuesday.

What is #GivingTuesday?

According to givingtuesday.org, #GivingTuesday™ is a movement to create a national day of giving to kick off the giving season added to the calendar on the Tuesday following Thanksgiving, Black Friday and Cyber Monday.

This is the second annual Giving Tuesday and it’s on December 3, 2013. In the same way that retail stores take part in Black Friday, the goal is to bring the community together for #GivingTuesday.

Would you commit to supporting Esther’s House of Redemption and helping spread the word around the web?

In case you’re not familiar with Esther’s House, we are a residential discipleship program, offering hope to broken women, free of charge, in the Branson, MO area. You can learn more about this life-changing ministry here.

Join me in celebrating Esther’s House and offering hope to women in need today.

Join me at the Gentleman’s Club

Ever heard of a gentleman’s club? I heard it in a song recently and it made my stomach ill.

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Here’s the definition according to Webster’s Dictionary:

a nightclub for men that features scantily clad women dancers or stripteasers

Upon further research I learned the first gentleman’s club was established in London for upper class men. Doesn’t that just sound sophisticated and socially acceptable?

It makes my blood boil!

First of all, let’s call it a strip club, because that’s what it is. Second of all, the word gentleman belongs absolutely nowhere in the vicinity of a strip club.

The definition of gentleman is as follows:

a chivalrous, courteous, or honorable man.

There is absolutely nothing courteous, chivalrous, or honorable about a man walking into a bar to see women dance naked for him. So how about we stop calling it a gentleman’s club?

Allow me to be completely vulnerable for a moment.

I was 17 years old the first time I stepped into a strip club.

The images still haunt me today. I saw things no 17-year old girl should have ever seen. I also saw girls only a year older than me standing before these “gentleman” naked for their pleasure.

Looking back on it now, do you know what I see?

I see a woman standing on that stage who didn’t know who she was in Christ. I see a broken girl starving for affection and affirmation in her life. I see a smoke-filled building full of broken hearts, anger, pride, lust, and more.

I also see a man who, behind the dollar bills and gin on his breath, doesn’t know who he is in Christ. I see a man finding fulfillment in the world because God is not his source. I see a man using a broken woman to help him mask the pain of what’s really going on in life.

Then I see a 17-year old me, trying to fit into a “normal” world. Trying to cover my own pain. I too, didn’t know who I was in Christ.

The Gentleman’s club is a playground for Satan. 

I’m calling it like it is and reminding myself that we are not fighting against flesh-and-blood enemies, but against evil rulers and authorities of the unseen world, against mighty powers in this dark world, and against evil spirits in the heavenly places. (See Ephesians 6:10).

I’m reminded the devil prowls around like a roaring lion ready to devour.

He steals the confidence from a woman who soon finds herself dancing around a stage naked, hundreds of eyes gazing at her nightly. He steals the courage from a husband who finds himself paying for a lap dance because he doesn’t feel secure enough to provide for his wife.

I pray for the eyes of every strip club owner to be opened. I pray they see that the devil is using them as a tool for his glory. I pray for the hearts and minds of every woman standing on that stage to be healed by the blood of Jesus. I pray for the eyes and hearts of those stepping foot inside to be entertained to be opened to see what is really happening around them.

I pray freedom for the captives. I pray for our legislation to open their eyes to the pain and suffering strip clubs and pornography are causing in the lives of so many, including children, teenagers, and adults. I pray for every door to be shut and locked.

Will you join me in prayer? 

How Can I Keep from Gaining Weight this Holiday Season?

I have a goal this Holiday season – NOT to gain the normal 5-10 pounds most people gain.

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Just how am I going to do this? By being mindful of what I’m eating while continuing to exercise.

I know, I know. It sounds so much easier said than done, doesn’t it? But I thought if I said it out loud, typed it out loud, and posted for all of us to see, it could actually be a reality versus a myth.

The holidays are a great time of the year, for most people anyway. Honestly, sometimes it depends on whether or not those hard-to-love family members show up or not, but that’s another post for another day.

As the holiday circuit comes around though, and fatty food is at every business party, church gathering, school function, etc., it’s easy to get sucked in, spiral out of control, and find yourself back to square one by New Year’s Day. It’s an important time for me not to throw caution to the wind and indulge in every craving and pumpkin pie thrown my way.

But I think we can enjoy the festivities without getting out of control. I think I can indulge a little without crossing the border to crazy. So can you.

Here are a few tips, thanks to fitness guru Jillian Michaels, to help both me and you stay on track as the Holidays approach:

Holiday weight gain doesn’t have to be inevitable.

Start with adjusting your mind-set for the holidays. Thanksgiving is happening this week, so let’s start there. Let’s fill up on the healthy stuff, like veggies, salad, and the roasted turkey. Then we can enjoy the “must-have” dishes in moderation, like my cousin’s creamy corn casserole and my grandma’s homemade turkey dressing.

Feel free to eat a small slice of your mom’s favorite pumpkin pie, but remember, you don’t have to eat a slice at each festivity you go to. I’m reminding myself that my grandma’s pies are homemade. The corporate Christmas party that I’ll attend gets their pies from the grocery store deli. If I’m going to spend my calories, you can bet I want to do it on the made from scratch, melt in your mouth pie. Oh.. and just say no the egg nog.

Don’t even think about abandoning your fitness and healthy eating plans.

Doing this could be disastrous. I’ve been trying some new workouts lately and I remember how I felt after the first workout. I swear a semi came into my room in the middle of the night and consistently ran over my thighs. I don’t want to have to go through that again. If I take a couple of weeks off, I’m setting my body up for failure, plus my mind. I’m finally getting back into the habit of having a regular exercise routine. I don’t want to fight trying to get back on track, do you?

Yes, we’re probably going to miss a workout or two with traveling and busyness, but there’s time. We can make time, even if it’s 10-30 minutes of doing something. Let’s stay committed, especially when we know we’re going to have some of Grandma’s pumpkin pie. The gym is calling our names, especially the next day.

Quit believing you are going to fail. 

Jillian says it best. “If you fail to plan, you plan to fail.” Oh how I’m absorbing these words right now. I need to plan ahead of time what I’m going to eat, as well as when I’m going to exercise. I need to write it on my calendar. Where can we fit in the extra time for a workout?

Eat a snack beforehand. This is something I need to get better at. Also, if you’re bringing a covered dish to the event, bring something you know you can eat; something that will distract you from the rest of the calorie-heavy foods.

This Holiday season, let’s all stay reminded that we are God’s temple. (See 1 Corinthians 3:16). What we put in our bodies, not only affects us physically, it can take its toll on our minds and emotions, too.

What step are you taking this Holiday season to stay on the course of consistently living in a healthy lifestyle? Leave a comment below…

 

Why Obamacare is Good for Us

Yep.. I said it. And I’m thankful right now that I’m sitting behind a computer screen and you can’t shoot me. 

Actually, these were the words of Dr. Joshua Straub two weeks ago, speaking at my church. He stood in front of 1500 people on a Sunday morning, without the ability to hide behind a computer screen and agreed that Obamacare was actually a good idea. After the grumbles and moans settled down, he got to his explanation.

I do believe Obamacare is good for us.

In 2010, when Obamacare was being pushed through the Senate, many Americans, including myself, didn’t pay attention to what was really going on. We simply continued to watch our reality television and distract ourselves with other things.

Then.. it was too late. It’s 2013 and Obamacare is here!

Now people are waking up because their wallets are being affected, but guess what? It’s too late. We’re being hit personally, but guess what? It’s too late. It has surrounded us and doesn’t intend to leave anytime soon.

The reason I think Obamacare is a good idea, is not because of the services being offered. It’s a good thing because it’s causing America to open our eyes again and see the things being forced upon us. If a big piece of legislation such as this swoops in on us, what else is coming in the future?

Here’s where I’m going with this.

What happens next? What’s the next law to take effect that will change our lives and the history of our country forever?

We often talk about it, but I have a sad feeling, without us returning to our knees in prayer as a country, we’re in trouble. Are the days where we hide our Bibles in a nook of the house upon us? Christians are already becoming the minority. We’re slapped with a lawsuit for putting a nativity scene outside of a building. But what are we doing to fight back?

This post isn’t about whether or not socialized healthcare is a good idea. It’s about waking up to what’s happening around us.

It’s a wake up call to get back on our knees, humbly, and repent for what we have turned this country into. The majority of our government leaders aren’t. Our president certainly isn’t. But we can.

Let’s open our eyes together before another “Obamacare” sneaks up on us with life-changing results we can’t do anything about. Join me in prayer for our government. 

Prayers for a Shameless Life (Event)

Do you ever feel like you are not good enough? Ya, I’ve been there too.

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Shame is not from God. I even got a tattoo to remind me that,

Those who look to Him are radiant; their faces are never covered with shame. – Psalm 34:5

I’d love for you to join myself, Jennifer White, author and blogger at Prayerfully Speaking, and Terilee Harrison, author of The Shameless Life: Recognize Your Shame and Overcome It, for a rockin’ online Facebook event, filled with encouragement and prayer. 

Our goal is to help you release the “I’m not good enoughs” in your life that keeps you from being the women and men God meant you to be.

Join us right here at the Facebook Event Page anytime from 11:30a-1:30p CST, Monday, November 18th.

Do you have questions about shame? Have a testimony to share? Want to simply ask for prayer? Join us. We can’t wait to visit with you!

See you Monday right here! 

Four Steps to Stay Faithfully Fit

That last couple months have been a struggle for me regarding eating. It seems I’ve been doing a little more emotional eating than usual. I don’t like it one bit.

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Honestly, my weight has been fluctuating, and so have my hormones. One minute I’m crying, the next I seem to have a bowl of ice cream in my hand. Vanilla ice cream at that, and I don’t even like vanilla. If it ain’t got chocolate in it, I ain’t eatin’ it. Yet, I’ve found myself doing just that.

There have been a few people shocked to learn that I still have struggles. Since I lost 145 lbs. almost four years ago, they just assume everything is great and I don’t run into roadblocks. Afterall, I even wrote an ebook about it. Oh how I wish!

We need to be real about our struggles. (Tweet that)

That’s just what I’m going to do with you. Be real. I hope you wouldn’t expect anything less. The last thing I want to do is provide false hope for those of you fighting the health battle and convince you that once you hit your goal weight the job is done and now you sit back and relish in your victory.

It’s hard. There are days it’s really hard. Recognizing the struggle though is what keeps me going. I’ve been under more stress lately than usual, and with stress comes emotions. Unfortunately, there have been times I’ve turned to food instead of turning my fears, failures, and other circumstances over to God. I’m so thankful for his never-ending grace for me.

Because I recognize there are still some struggles happening in my life regarding emotions and food, I’ve taken some steps and implemented some things to get back on the right path. I wanted to share those with you today.

The Faithfully Fit Devotional

This is a 40-day devotional plan written to help end the yo-yo lifestyle of chronic dieting. Though I don’t use the word diet, I wanted to give this devotional a try because I watched the transformation in my friend as she went through it.

It’s a really great book. You can do it on your own, or with a friend. I highly recommend doing it with someone else. There are daily actions to take, whether journaling, memorizing scripture, planning exercise, and more. There is also a daily prayer that goes along with the devotion.

Praying Before Each Meal and Snack

“What? You don’t already do that?” you may be asking. Honestly, no. I usually pray with people when we sit down for a meal, but other than that, I don’t. But I wanted to turn food into an opportunity to praise God and thank Him for allowing me to put great things into my body. I’m trying to implement this habit into praying before snacks as well.

This habit is very new. So new, in fact, that I almost didn’t share it with you because I haven’t quite made it a regular habit yet. (How’s that for honesty?) Here’s what I’m learning: If I pray before putting anything in my mouth, how conscious will I be of what I’m actually eating? I can’t sit down to a bowl of ice cream, ask God to bless it to the nourishing of my body, then expect Him to really do it, can I? No.. there’s nothing nourishing about it.

Now, does that mean we should never eat ice cream? No, that’s not what I’m saying. We do, however, need to make sure we’re eating for the right reasons. Is it to enjoy a great tasting dessert or is it to drown out some emotions we don’t want to deal with? There’s a big difference there.

Find a Workout Partner

I don’t usually enjoy working out with others. I’m a loner when it comes to that. I like to crank up my iPod and get down to business, especially when it comes to running. But hey, I’m learning life isn’t all about me.

God provided an awesome new friend for me. She’s on a new weight loss journey. I’m working hard to stay on my weight loss journey. We’re a perfect match. I literally met her two weeks ago and last week we worked out three times together. It’s helping us both have incentive to show up at the gym on time. And we’re both Dolly Parton fans. How can this not work out in our favor?

Staying Accountable

I’ve talked about my accountability partners before. They’re great. Recently though, I reached beyond my tiny accountability circle to ask others to hold me accountable in the very specific area of food.

They are praying for me, being honest with me about my struggles, and supporting me through good times and bad. It’s caused me to be vulnerable outside of my comfort zone and though it’s hard, I’m okay with it.

There you have it. Some new changes I’m implementing in my life to stay on the course God has set before me. I’m constantly looking for new ways to grow and right now these seem to be working. I hope they work for you as well.

I’d love to hear some of your suggestions and what works for you. Leave a comment below… 

Hoppy Halloween

Everyone needs a bunny on Halloween. Here’s yours:

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HOPPY HALLOWEEN!