Sundi Jo Graham's Blog, page 38

Creating Space for the Wow Moments

I’ve been chewing on these words for the last couple of days:

I want to live a life that takes time to notice things that other people are overlooking. One that slows down to sit and soak up the beauty. One that creates space for the “wow” moments. - Jeff Goins, The In-Between

 

Photo Credit: kevin dooley via Compfight cc

Where are you in the season of your life? Are you too busy?

I fight busyness a lot and over the last few months I’ve realized it’s been winning. I don’t like it. It doesn’t allow margin in my life. It doesn’t fit with my life plan. My one word for 2013 is “intentional,” and busyness gets in the way of that.

I’m not a fan of waiting, especially when it comes to fixing things. If someone has a problem, myself included, I want to find the solution as soon as possible. This isn’t always a bad thing, but sometimes I can be so intent on making things happen that I miss the message of the trial.

Being in a hurry all the time is stealing life from me and I only get to live once. 

I’m realizing some days I need to put the iPhone down, stop capturing moments for the Instagram world, and actually absorb them for myself.

Last week I visited a friend on a farm in Louisiana. I knew the moment I hit the dirt road that I was in for a treat. I was surrounded by stillness, pear trees, and a three-legged cat. Life wasn’t busy.

Live a life that takes time to notice things that other people are overlooking. 

My friend Jennifer and I took a morning walk along the 120-acre farm. Grasshoppers seemed to follow. The view of the dirt road took me back to days of living in my hometown.

The friendship that has been flourishing for the last five years is in a different place – a good, better place. How do I know? Because I took the time to notice.

Slow down and soak up the beauty. 

I don’t do this often enough, but I want to. One morning on the farm, I sat outside on the front porch and listened. There wasn’t the sound of a cell phone, no one chatting on Skype, and Facebook managed to survive without me.

I sat. I soaked. I smiled. In this midst of doing nothing but sitting in a chair, I felt accomplished. Accomplished because at that very moment I was soaking up the beauty, not focusing on the expectations I put on myself.

Create space for the “wow” moments. 

I’m not sure I know what this looks like yet, but I look forward to finding out. I don’t think a “wow” moment has to have fireworks and a front page story on the newspaper. These moments can be simple, yet profound.

I remember a time four years ago when I didn’t have the money for gas, much less a Starbucks coffee. I told God I would love a coffee. It was child-like faith. When I got to my friend Jammie’s office, her boss pulled out his wallet, asked her to grab him a Starbucks, and get one for her friend, too. (That was me.)

That was a “wow” moment. I savored every moment of that coffee. I was 25 years old and crying my eyes out with joy over a coffee. Why? Because God provided something that seems so small, yet it was huge to me. Wow is a great way to sum it up!

I’m transitioning out of the busyness in my life, so that I may enjoy the in-between. I’m realizing there is too much on my plate and I’m putting the art of delegation into practice so that I may have more “wow” moments, no matter how big or small.

Jeff Goins talks about these “wow” moments in his new book, The In-Between: Embracing the Tension Between Now and the Next Big Thing. It doesn’t release until next week, but you can pre-order it. You won’t regret it.

May we learn to live in the in-between together and create space in our lives for those “wow” moments.

What do you need to get rid of in your life to create more space? Leave a comment below… 

No Fear of Death

I met Sandy in 2006. He was a tall man, full of life. His smile brightened the room and his gentle voice made me feel safe. I can’t remember a time I left a visit with Sandy and didn’t desire a closer relationship with God.  Grace dripped from his words. Safety overflowed in his hugs. Mercy was his twin.

He was “Jesus with skin on,” as they say.

The same doctor diagnosed Sandy and my dad with the same type of cancer in the same week.

Two men I loved, one my father, the other like a father to me, had very different outcomes. My dad gave up his fight six months later, giving into his addiction, but Sandy held on. He fought to keep his life like no one I’ve ever seen.

He was just a selfless man, always looking for the best in others.

To read more about Sandy’s life and how his life impacted me, read the rest of my article at Prodigal Magazine.

Still Before Him

Do you write in your Bible? I love to write in mine.

I frequently write dates in mine when a particular verse has significance.

This morning I sat outside, opened my Bible, and these were the words I read:

Be still before the Lord and wait patiently for him. – Psalm 37:7a

It’s funny real. I had just finished writing in my journal, asking God to show me the truth behind some issues on my heart.

Instead of giving me the why behind the what, He tells me to be still. 

As I sat on that verse for a moment, I looked at the dates written near it.

8/30/10. 6/20/12. 10/10/12. 

Apparently I’ve sought peace more than one time.

As I tried to think back on those dates, I remembered the significance of the October outlining. That was a day of sorrow. Heartbreak. A chapter of my life was ending, and it wasn’t ending so well.

I was being attacked with words by people I loved and it hurt. The verse reads on,

do not fret when men succeed in their ways, when they carry out their wicked schemes.

I reflect on that verse this morning and thank God He brought me out of that season stronger. I’m reminded I had to fight that fight with His Word, not my flesh.

If only I did that right every time. 

I like to fix things. If I know there’s a problem, tell me the solution so we can fix it and move on. Waiting is not my gift. When I know something in my heart isn’t right, I want to know the answer immediately so I can make it right.

However, God doesn’t always work that way. Sometimes it takes a while to get to the real issue. I guess that’s where the whole “be still” and “wait patiently” thing comes in.

Okay I’ll work on that, but God, could you tell me how long I’m going to have to wait? 

Oh yeah, be still. I forgot.

Thanking God today for His patience with me.

What’s happening in your life right now where stillness and patience are needed? Share in the comments below… 

Making My Own Dirt Road

Note: This is a journal entry from my new book, Dear Dad. I’ll be sharing various journal entries throughout the year. 

Photo Credit: Stuck in Customs via Compfight cc

November 5, 2009

I learned tonight that I have resisted my fears and feelings for so long that it’s become a highway. I got some great advice tonight. Someone told me to take the road less traveled. It is time to make my own dirt road.

Show me, Father, how to take your hand. I know you are inviting me to release my fears, thoughts, and feelings. But how do I do that?

You know, I’ve gone so long telling myself that I didn’t have feelings—that I don’t know how to express them. Did you know how? What were you afraid of? Were you afraid to let people love you? I do have to say thank you that you were never afraid to tell me how much you loved me. I think you were always too afraid

to show me, but you were never afraid to tell me. That says something about our relationship doesn’t it?

To learn more about Dear Dad, click here..

Bye Bye Shame

I wanted to share with you one of my favorite Bible verses.

I was introduced to these life changing words in 2010 and they are written on my heart for life. They mean so much to me, in fact, I had the address tattooed on my wrist just in case I needed a reminder.

If you’re struggling with shame, consider this God speaking directly to you today.

How Shakeology Changed My Life

In October 2010, I was at the best place in my life I had ever been. God had healed so many emotional scars. I weighed 145 lbs. less. I just finished running my second 5K. Could life get any better?

Then things changed. 

I had been struggling with my energy. I was taking frequent naps and I had an unusual pain in my legs. My sleeping habits were off.

On a chilly October morning as I was running the trail, all of a sudden, I couldn’t run anymore. The pain was horrible and the tears wouldn’t stop. I didn’t understand. I was doing everything I was supposed to do. I was taking care of my body, yet it was giving out on me.

My life went from running in the mornings to visiting multiple doctors telling me it was all in my head. It took a toll on my emotions, yet it drew me closer to God. There were days I just wanted to survive because I didn’t understand.

A hormone imbalance and fibromyalgia seemed to be the diagnoses. I couldn’t hold a full-time job because the fatigue was so powerful. There were days the only thing I could do was lay in bed. Often times a shower drained everything I had and my sweet mother would have to blow dry my hair.

I finally gave into taking medication. I took more vitamins than you can imagine. I worked my schedule around my sleeping patterns. 3-4 hours/night was common for me.

My social life was a disaster.

I watched a friend of mine talking about this Shakeology thing, but honestly, I blew it off. It was just another diet fad someone was trying to sell. I told myself it was the fancy version of Slim Fast. My dieting past caused me to be judgmental. However, at the same time, I trusted her.

Finally, in March 2013, I decided to really get the details. My health had gotten better due to changing my lifestyle to a more natural one.

The first week after Shakeology I knew my life wouldn’t be the same. 

God was using these powerful tools to heal me. After the first few days I was enjoying a full night’s sleep. That was the first in three years I had slept. I didn’t know what to do with my mornings.

In April I finally removed myself from the prescription medication and vowed to use food as a healing tool for my body.

I’ve been taking Shakeoloy for four months and there has only been one sleepless night. I wake up with energy. I have mental stability I haven’t had in years. I am able to focus. The pain in my body is so much better than it used to be.

And did I mention I drink a chocolate shake every morning? 

I’m telling you this, because Shakeology has changed my life. It has turned me back into a functioning adult. I have energy I wasn’t  sure I would get back. I actually have a social life.

Here’s something big I want to share with you: 

Since October 2010, I haven’t been able to work out in the mornings. My energy would be so depleted that a simple shower took me to my knees. Last week I decided to test my strength.

I asked God if we could try this “morning workout thing” again. He agreed. I’m happy to report that twice last week, I did a morning workout, showered, dressed, dried my hair, put makeup on, and did NOT feel fatigued.

With that I say, Jehovah Rappah!

God has used these ingredients to heal me and I am so grateful.

Whether you’re struggling with weight, fatigue, or even digestive problems, I highly recommend this product. I waited three months to see results before I told you about it, because I don’t want to steer anyone in the wrong direction.

Shakeology works! I’m living proof. 

I believe in it so much that I’ve decided to become a coach. I want others to benefit the same way I have. It’s helping me get my life back and I’m so grateful! I want you to get your life back, too.

If you’re interested in learning more about Shakeology, visit their website. Don’t take my word for it. Listen to the testimonials of others.

Have you tried Shakeology? What results did you see? Comment below…

Please note that I do receive commission on any orders placed through Shakeology, but I would never recommend something I didn’t believe in myself. 

Portobello Mushroom Salad

I’m a huge Robert Irvine fan. He’s a great chef and if you watch him enough times, you’ll realize he truly is a great leader.

When I found this Portobello salad recipe I knew I wanted to try it, so I invited my friend Jammie over for dinner to be the guinea pig. I passed the test with flying colors. She loved it.

We used it as a meal and she came up with the idea to toss some sesame sticks on the top, but you could even use it as a side dish.

If you’re avoiding gluten, I used a natural soy sauce alternative, thanks to my friend Dawn, and it was delicious.

Enjoy.

    Print This!    

Portobello Mushroom Salad

Ingredients:

1/4 cup Devo Balsamic Vinegar
1/4 cup soy sauce or Bragg Liquid Aminos All Purpose Seasoning
4 portobello mushrooms, cleaned, gills removed, quartered, and cut into slices 1/8 to 1/4-inch thick
1 red onion, diced
1 cup baby spinach (packed), soaked to remove grit, well rinsed and dried in a salad spinner or with paper towels
2 large ripe fresh tomatoes
1 tablespoon fresh dill, minced

Directions:

Heat balsamic and soy sauce or liquid aminos in a skillet and allow mushrooms to poach while the sauce reduces. Remove from heat and let cool.
In a mixing bowl toss with onion, spinach and tomatoes.
Serve chilled, family style, garnishing with fresh dill.

I’m always up for trying new recipes. Share your recommended recipes below…

Why I’m an Expert on Marriage

Marriage is easy. It’s a piece of cake, right? You meet someone, say “I do,” fly to Maui for the next seven days, then spend the rest of your life dancing in the living room together. I’ve watched my friends and now know everything there is to know about marriage. I’m ready to teach a seminar on how to be married.

Photo Credit: komehachi888 via Compfight cc

I’m totally kidding. Though I have learned things I don’t want to do in my marriage, I haven’t a clue what it’s really like. But the subject line did catch your attention, right?

I may not be an expert at being a wife, but I am an expert on failure. 

I know a lot about it. Our paths have crossed many times throughout my lifetime and I’m sure we’ll meet again.

Prior to 2009 failure and I were pretty intimate. We never flew to Maui,  but we certainly danced in the living room together time and time again. I was always failing at something, especially follow through.

I wouldn’t follow through with a job because my boss didn’t see things my way
I would start to write a book and quit, simply because the motivation wasn’t there
10 pounds lost would turn into 20 pounds gained, only to fail at losing it again
I refused to let relationships go deep because I didn’t want people to know me; the real, shameful me that lurked behind a 330 pound frame

That’s just a brief list.

As God shifted my heart, though, in 2010 I followed through for the first time in my life. I completed a 12-month discipleship program, lost 145 lbs., and finished a 5K race, all in the same year. I failed a lot to get there, but I had finally finished something.

We can’t succeed in our future until we let go of our past.  

Today, I still fail, but it’s a different kind of failure. It’s the kind of failure that causes me to step out of my comfort zone and pursue something bigger than me. I fail at writing a good blog post. I fail at giving someone encouraging words. I fail at eating that salad versus the greasy pizza that calls my name.

But guess what?

I pick myself up and keep going. I write a different blog post. I apologize to my friend and speak life over her. I go for a walk outside and the next meal I’m back on track.

Failure shapes us. It makes us dependent on God. It causes us to try again. It provides us the opportunity for second chances, if we’re willing to take them.

We can’t conquer failure if we don’t follow through. We can’t fail at something mediocre to succeed at something great if we don’t try. It’s up to us, really. Failure shapes us, regardless of how we deal with it.

The question to ask yourself: How do I want failure to shape me? 

I Want to Write a Book… How Do I Get Started?

Since publishing my first book, Dear Dad, I’ve had many people tell me they want to write a book, too. It amazes me the number of stories that haven’t been told.

Photo Credit: jDevaun via Compfight cc

 

Everyone has a story. 

We’ll chat for a bit about the book, then the question comes…

I want to write a book. How do I get started?

Here’s how you write a book. You sit down at the computer, type 33,000 words, send it to a publisher, and wait for people to knock at your door because the bookstores have sold out. (Insert sarcasm here)

Seriously though, the first thing I tell people is to be prepared to commit. It’s not an overnight process. It’s hard work. It’s time-consuming. Writing a book can be draining, both emotionally and physically.

You’ll fight fear, procrastination, doubt, time management, and pressure. That’s just a short list.

Writing a book isn’t for quitters. If you have a story to tell, prepare yourself to work hard to tell it.

Here are a few tips I recommend before you commit to writing a book:

Make sure you have a story to tell. Yes, everyone has a story, but that doesn’t mean the world should read it. Is it compelling? Will it change people? Be honest with yourself when deciding to write a book. If your dog ate your homework when you were 12, that’s probably something you should keep in a journal and maybe tell a few friends.

Study the art of writing. Research and learn what others are doing. Read the work of authors you admire. Subscribe to blog posts about writing. Ask authors if you can pick their brains. Do your homework.

Have accountability. Do you really want to be a writer? Ask others to critique your work. Find a group of writers who will support your passion and help you grow in your niche. I recommend joining the Tribe Writer’s course, created by Jeff Goins. Not only will you learn how to be a better writer, you have the opportunity to connect with many people who will help shape your writing along the way. The course will be starting again in July and will fill up fast, so I recommend taking advantage of signing up today. It’s provided an amazing opportunity for me to grow as a writer.

Prepare for rejection. It will happen. Someone will reject your work, more than once. Take advantage of that rejection. Maybe they’re right. Perhaps what you wrote sucked and now you know it needs some revisions. Or maybe you know without a doubt those were the words you were supposed to write. Stick by them and keep pushing forward. Not everyone will love what you’re doing and that’s ok. As a writer, you will never please everyone.

Write a winning book proposal. So, you still want to write? If you haven’t given up yet, then maybe this writing thing really is for you. If you’re ready to get your work in front of agents and publishers, you need a book proposal that will stand out. I highly recommend Michael Hyatt’s Writing a Winning Book Proposal. Hyatt is the former CEO of Thomas Nelson Publishers and a NY Times best-selling author. This book will rock your world. I used it to land the contract for my first published book and I’m using it again to submit the proposal for my next book to agents and publishers. Hyatt provides guidance for both fiction and non-fiction book proposals. 

Writing a book isn’t easy, but it’s worth it, if you really want to be a writer. If it’s your passion and not just a temporary hobby, start pursuing your dreams today.

What book do you want to start writing? Share in the comments below…

Happy Father’s Day

Father’s Day was Sunday. Why would I be talking about it now? Because those words still linger in the hearts of young boys and girls, as well as grown men and women. Today. In the moment.

Since publishing my new book, Dear Dad, last month, I’ve heard countless stories from those who grew up without a father and how it’s still affecting their lives today. It breaks my heart. It makes me angry.

I find myself wanting to grab every dad by the collar of his shirt, get in his face and ask, “Are you seeing this?”

However, the more people I talk to, the more I realize we are living in the middle of a spiritual attack. Satan loves the absence of a father. Why wouldn’t he?

Last week I met a man named Joseph. He assisted me in getting a phone upgrade, which turned into two days of an adventure, after bringing my parents back to the store and upgrading them to phones that weren’t prehistoric.

It turns out his father was killed when he was a boy. In the blink of an eye his life changed. He grew up without a dad. He turned to drugs. He tried to fill the void of his father’s absence with other things. Abandonment was all he felt, like so many of us who grew up without fathers.

It saddens my heart to see so many hurting, but it angers me even more. Now I’m angry enough to stand up and fight. To fight a battle that we can win. To fight with prayer.

For our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the powers of this dark world and against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms. – Ephesians 6:12

Satan attacked my father with addictions and his absence caused terrible pain in my life. I tried everything to fill the void: drugs, alcohol, food, relationships.

But the victory is mine because I have overcome!

You, dear children, are from God and have overcome them, because the one who is in you is greater than the one who is in the world. – 1 John 4:4

We may be in a battle, but we are the victors! We must continue to fight to good fight. Pray for fathers. Pray for the fatherless. The devil can’t stand up to Scripture, which means he can’t stand up to us when God’s Word is rolling off our lips.

Don’t let the absence of your father steer your life today. Stand up and proclaim victory, for God is father of the fatherless.

Join me in prayer today for all fathers. May they let God guide the course of their lives. May they invest in their families. May they stand on the truth.