Sundi Jo Graham's Blog, page 40

Sensitivity is the Key

God smacked me with truth today. I was sitting on the couch reading the Bible and opened it to this verse:

1 Thessalonians 5:14, “Encourage the timid, help the weak, be patient with everyone.”

Photo Credit: Daniele Nicolucci photography via Compfight cc

My footnotes say, “Don’t yell at the timid and weak; encourage and help them.”

At times it can be difficult to distinguish between idleness and timidity. Two people may be doing nothing—one out of laziness and the other out of shyness or fear of doing something wrong.

The key to ministry is sensitivity: sensing the condition of each person and offering the appropriate remedy for each situation. You can’t effectively help until you know the problem. You can’t apply the medicine until you know where the wound is.

Sensitivity. I’m lacking it.

I’m guest posting over at Joseph Iregbu’s place today. Click here to read the rest of the post. 

The Gift of Rock Bottom

The other night I was on my way home from a 6th grade band concert. It was much improved since the last time I was there last Fall. Honestly, I was dreading the sound of the clarinet, but to my surprise, there wasn’t a single moment I wanted to plug my ears.

Photo Credit: minxlj via Compfight cc

Anyway… I like to listen to podcasts while I’m driving so I can feel smarter after the trip. Something about having headphones in my ears listening to Dave Ramsey or Michael Hyatt makes me look and feel smarter.

Ramsey was interviewing Jon Acuff about his new book Start. I was strolling right along the highway when I heard the words that caused me to back track and listen again:

Sometimes you have to introduce rock bottom to someone as a gift.

You can read it again a few more times. It took me a minute to soak it up, too.

Many times we look at rock bottom as a tragedy. Your addicted husband has lost his job, friends, and dignity because of pornography. Your sister is living in a weekly motel room while you raise your nephew because of heroin. Your marriage is crumbling as your wife packs her bags and takes the kids because you’re married to your job.

What if we looked at rock bottom as a blessing? 

In 2009, I was at rock bottom. I sat across from a friend and said the words, “I’m tired. I just wanna die.” She didn’t try to rescue me by feeding my struggles, hiding the fact that I was at the bottom, or patting me on the back and telling me things would be okay.

No, she let me hit rock bottom. Then she picked me up and carried me to a place of refuge. I wouldn’t have sought true freedom that day if I hadn’t hit the bottom. Others had to let me hit the complete bottom before they could help me climb back up.

I needed to be offered the gift of rock bottom first. 

That day was one of the worst and best of my life. It was the end of something horrible that led to the beginning of something amazing.

Your beginning is here, too. Today. Right Now. This moment. (Tweet that)

It’s a gift that your husband is losing his job and dignity. He’s at the bottom and it’s time to look up. That dirty motel room is a gift to your sister, because she’s at the bottom and tomorrow could be the new beginning. That suitcase setting next to the door your wife has packed is a gift to you. It’s a call that the bottom has arrive and it’s time to climb back up.

Rock bottom was a gift to me. Let it be a gift to you.

I’ll Pay You $65 to Get Dear Dad

As you may know, my first published book, Dear Dad, goes on sale today. I told you to wait to buy it – that I would make it worth your wait. Now is the time.

A dream 18 years in the making comes true today, as the book releases. I’m speechless, really (which doesn’t happen often) and I’m so excited about this message.

I won’t spend a whole lot of time telling you about the book. You can find all that, plus the 20 endorsements from people like Jeff Goins, Suzette Brawner, Gary Smalley, Julie Cave, Allison Vesterfelt, and more at the book site.

However, I do want to share with you why you shouldn’t wait any longer to get the book.

No more waiting

Some people buy the book the moment it releases, while others like to wait a few weeks or months before purchasing. Why? Because you want to know if it’s worth your money.

But you don’t have to do that with this book. Here’s why:

People have already read it and waiting to hit the review button as soon as Amazon gives the green light.
It’s not that much money. It retails at $10.99, but you can find it on-sale at most outlets for around $8-$9. Not too bad, right?
I’m going to offer you a crazy bribe to buy it now — one you can’t refuse.

I’m excited to share this with you; can you tell?

The “bribe”

If you order my book, Dear Dad, this week, I’ll send you six amazing gifts at absolutely no cost to you:

PDF version of the book
Digital copy of Liar Liar, my second ebook
A digital copy of Your Are a Writer, written by Jeff Goins
Mary DeMuth’s book, Live Ungaged, in digital format
Deadly Disclosures, the first in a trilogy by Julie Cave
A copy of my first ebook, Step Away from that Diet

That’s over $65.00 in free stuff for a book that retails at $10.99. So even if you don’t like it (which I don’t anticipate), you’re going to get a great deal.

Why I’m doing this

Traditional book publishing is a little funny. A lot of importance is placed on the first week a book is released. If it does well the first week, it has a greater opportunity for book stores to pick it up. If not, it may struggle to gain enough momentum to succeed.

These incentives are my way of rewarding those who support me (my tribe) and giving my book a fighting chance.

I won’t be getting rich of this book. It was never my goal. I want people to hear the message of Dear Dad and walk away different, filled with hope.

Will you help me do that?

How to get the book (and all the other stuff)

In order to be eligible for the six gifts, you need to do the following before May 14th:

Buy the book this week at your favorite online or local retailer. The hard copy is priced at $10.99, but most places are selling it for around $9.50. You can get it at Amazon, Barnes & Noble, Books a Million, Parable, and other book stores.
Email a copy of your receipt to info@deardadthebook.com. If you buy online, you can just forward the email receipt you get. If you buy at a brick-and-mortar store, you’ll need to scan the receipt and email it to the address above.

Once we confirm your address, we’ll send a link to the exclusive download page where you can get your six gifts.

Again, I hope you’ll consider helping me spread the message of Dear Dad by picking up a copy this week. If you pre-ordered one, consider buying one for a friend. Getting all this stuff will be worth it.

If you have any questions, please email info@sundijo.com. Or check out the FAQ on the book site.

Ready to find redemption?  Click here to find out more about the book.

How to Steal a Paperclip from Work

I can’t remember a job I had prior to 2009 where I didn’t take something from my employer, whether it was a piece of paper, a stapler, money, or something as simple as a paper clip.

I deserve to take things from work. I put in my 8+ hours everyday. What’s the big deal? The boss can handle me using things for personal use here and there.

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Photo Credit: kylemac via Compfight cc

Entitlement used to be my middle name. 

One night in Winter 2008, all that changed for me. I was sitting in a financial bible study with my mentor, Sandy Steward. He was the type of man who made you want to be more like Jesus when he smiled.

I’ll never forget the words he said to me, as we were studying integrity in the workplace.

If you put a paperclip on a personal document that you printed, using the ink of the printer at work, then take it home, you’re a thief.

Um… Wow! I cleared my throat as the conviction punched me in the stomach.

I honestly had no idea. My conscious hadn’t told me any different. I thought it was something everyone else did, so that meant it was okay. I was wrong. I was well aware I was previously a thief when it came to the big things, but a paperclip? A tiny, metal piece that keeps me more organized? Yes, indeed.

Then Sandy told me this story of the day he asked his boss if he could print a personal document and how much he would charge. His boss looked at him like he was crazy. Who asks that question? Even the boss helped himself to such things. That day Sandy showed the light of Jesus to others in the workplace, because of a simple request to print a few papers.

If we can make that big of an impact over something so small, think of what we could do for The Kingdom with the bigger things? Something to think about, eh?

That evening changed me. His words are still embedded on my heart this very day. 

Now as a business owner who budgets paperclips and post-it-notes into life, I have an even bigger glimpse. These things add up over time, and as all the bills depend on me, not my boss, it matters.

Next time you glance at a paperclip, think about this post. Ask God to show you where in your life you need a lesson on integrity. Lord knows, I’m still learning.

P.S. - Use the metal paperclips – the plastic ones suck. (Your tip of the week)

Can you remember a time when God convicted you of something that seemed so small? Leave a comment below…

The Words That Keep Ringing in My Ears

She stepped through the church doors this morning for the first time in a long time. I was on my way out and saw her pass by.

She smiled and gave me a big hug. She seemed to hold on a little tighter than usual. Perhaps it was because it had been a while since we’d seen each other.

Her hair was fixed beautifully, and her smile seemed to be glowing.

“How are you?” I asked.

“Good,” she said with a smile. “How are you?”

“I’m great! It’s good to see you.”

Off to church she went and off to my car I went.

Six hours later I got the call. She ended her life, just like that.

Suicide. A word that keeps ringing in my ears. 

Just like that life changed. Just like that another addiction battle lost. Just like that, I found 10,000 things to be grateful for.

Today I cry out, “Thank You, Jesus!” That could’ve been me.

I stood on the tipping point once, right where my friend was. I wanted to die. Freedom was too hard to find and I couldn’t fight the battle anymore.

That could’ve been me. 

Those words play over and over in my head. That could’ve been me.

Hold your family tighter today. Don’t look at someone’s smile and just assume everything is ok. Hug strangers. Smile at the clerk behind the checkout counter. Thank God that where you are today is not where you used to be.

Cling to Jesus and never let go.

Dear God,

I write to you this morning with a raw heart. Raw emotions. It seems I can’t look at a stranger without crying.

photo credit: ashley rose, via Compfight

I walked out of church on Sunday and I felt something, but I couldn’t put my finger on. Now I realize what it was. I’m falling more in love with you than I knew I could be. I tried to talk about your love for me last night, but I couldn’t do so without crying, again. That’s a good place to be, I guess.

Then there are these other tears, this other rawness in my heart. It’s sadness. My heart breaks for the world around me and I can’t fix it. I asked you last year to break my heart with the things that break yours, and some days, honestly, I wish I wouldn’t have asked that.

My heart breaks for the addiction that destroys lives around me.

I’m saddened as I watch friends suffer through heartbreak.

I grieve knowing every two seconds someone is dying, and that next, that someone may be the grandmother whom I so desperately want to know you.

Then I cry again – tears of joy. Tears of humility, knowing that you love me. Knowing that you desire to be my Father. Humbled by your forgiveness. I fall in love with you again.

Break the hearts of those I write to you about. Draw them near to you. Don’t let them leave this world without getting on their knees and crying out to you.

Protect the hearts of those I write to you about. Guard their minds and wrap your arms around them. Let no words come against them.

I ask you today, Father, to show me where my life is entangled. Show me where your light needs to shine brighter. Though I hesitate to ask, continue to break my heart with the things that break yours.

May my tears continue to flow until everyone I know has cried out to you. May my tears continue to run down my cheeks and your light shine in my eyes as you introduce me to strangers who need to know about you.

I don’t want my focus to be on me Father, but on you. Show me the next step. Show me the next race to run. May I stop pacing in this race of Christianity and keep running.

My desire is to cross the finish line and hear from you, “Well done, good and faithful servant.”

I. Will. Keep. Running.

- Your Daughter, Sundi Jo

Garlic Chicken Simmered with Zucchini, Tomatoes, and Mushrooms {Gluten-Free}

I have to say I’m enjoying having my own kitchen. It’s been four years since I’ve had a stove to call my own.

You may now call me Chef Betty Paula Emeril Irvine III.

Lately I’ve been trying to add some healthier things to the menu, especially gluten and wheat free.

I found this recipe on the Whole Foods Market iPad app. I didn’t use the red pepper flakes because I didn’t have any, and I used cherry tomatoes instead.

The recipe suggests serving over quinoa or brown rice and garnishing with Parmesan cheese or toasted breadcrumbs. So, I bought the brown rice, but it’s looking pretty in my cupboard, because I got tired. Maybe I’ll cook it later.

Garlic Chicken Simmered with Zucchini, Tomatoes, and Mushrooms. 

Ingredients:

2 tbsp Devo Garlic Olive Oil
1 med. yellow onion, sliced
6 oz. portobello mushrooms, coarsely chopped (about 2 1/2 cups)
2 garlic cloves, finely chopped
1/4 to 1/2 tsp red pepper flakes
Sea salt and freshly ground black pepper
1/2 tsp dried oregano
1/2 tsp dried basil
1/2 cup gluten-free chicken broth
4 plum tomatoes, quartered
2 med. zucchini, cut into 1-inch pieces
1 lb. chicken tenders

Directions:

In a large skillet, heat oil over medium-high heat. Saute onion, mushrooms, garlic, red pepper flakes, salt, pepper, oregano, and basil until onions are translucent, 4 to 5 minutes. 
Stir in chicken broth, tomatoes and zucchini and bring to a simmer.
Stir in chicken, cover and simmer until chicken is cooked through, about 10 minutes.

Serve immediately.

Why I Cried in the Middle of Target

I grew up poor but I never knew it. My mom told me a story once about writing a bad check just so she could get us home to our family for Christmas. We were below the ramen noodle budget.

She worked a lot and barely made ends meet, but I never went without. Well, perhaps I did go without a lot of things, but I didn’t realize that.

It wasn’t until I became a teenager that I realized how different our lives were when I was younger. It wasn’t until I was introduced to Nike and other name brand items that I became aware of worlds beyond Dollar General and Walmart.

What does that have to do with crying in Target?

My parents just bought a house. It’s the second home for each of them, but the first together. (Tom is actually my step-dad.) Mom and I went shopping on Saturday for items for their new home.

To the ordinary onlooker, buying a set of dishes shouldn’t be an emotional moment. Ah.. but this wasn’t ordinary. I’m 29 years old and my mom has never owned a matching set of dishes. 

Throughout my life our house was filled with mismatched items. She did the best she could and I never knew the difference, until I got older anyway. Some people may say their ashamed of that. Me? It’s made me part of who I am today.

Being poor were some of the richest days of my life. 

Why? Because iPhones didn’t get in the way. Email didn’t distract me from pursuing relationships. We had to get off the couch to actually turn the three available channels on the television. When I had the opportunity to get a moment alone with my mom, which didn’t happen often because she was trying to provide, distractions weren’t allowed.

What others thought of me didn’t get in the way, because I didn’t know any different. Garage sale clothes were a part of my life and I was completely okay with that. Still am.

I tried to hold back the tears in Target because I was so proud. Proud of how far my mom has come today. Proud of what God has done in her life. Proud that she finally believed she deserved a matching set of dishes. Proud that they are something neither of us will take for granted.

I love you, Mom. I’m proud of you. Thanks for letting me be a part of such a big opportunity that seemed so small to the world. I can’t wait to sit around the table, eat dinner on your new dishes, and celebrate a life we’re so blessed to live.

Dear Saturday

Dear Saturday,

I hear you’re coming to visit soon. I’m so excited! It seems like it’s been forever since I’ve seen you. Apparently it hasn’t been that long since you last visited, but I’m not so sure.

photo credit: anthony!! (creative commons)

The expectancy of your arrival makes me smile. I’m assuming you’ll be here at midnight sharp and not a minute later, because you’ve always been good about your punctuality.

We’re going to have a blast when you get here. No alarm. No expectations. I’ve considered turning the phone off just to hang out with you. I’m expecting you to be of good company. No pressure.

I’ve thought about planning our day together, but then I thought maybe it would be more fun for us to just go with the flow. Sound good to you? Me too.

Well, I’ll make this letter short, but I wanted to drop a note to say I’m really looking forward to your arrival. Let’s enjoy each other’s company and not take it for granted.

See you soon!

Love,

Sundi Jo

What Ken Davis, Michael Hyatt, and Myself Have in Common

Ok – weird title I know, but it got your attention, right?

Seriously though, we do all have something in common. We each have a message to spread and we do that through writing and speaking. They’ve obviously been doing it much longer than I have, and they’re awesome at what they do. They both inspire me to be a better communicator.

That’s where you come in and that’s why I need your help.

Allow me to introduce you to the SCORRE Conference. 

SCORRE is the only training of its kind to go deeper than just overcoming fear and worn out delivery techniques. With our unique, proven SCORRETM system, we drill down to the foundation of your speaking – your preparation. You will learn to prepare powerfully focused, crystal clear talks and then deliver them with confidence and power.

To sum it up, this conference will help me to be a better speaker and fine tune my message, as I prepare to take my new book, Dear Dad to others.

The Benefits

Become a focused, effective and confident communicator
Discover how to find and effectively use powerful illustrations
Learn from professionals who have built their careers based on the principles of SCORRE
Inspire your audience to action
Maximize your prep time
Network & collaborate with other professionals

Why this is the conference for me

I’ve been a communicator since the day I was born. It’s in my blood. I’m ready to take my speaking career to the next level and I need the proper training to do so.

I want to be trained right. I want to absorb information from the professionals. I want to be around other Christian speakers who practice what they preach. I’m so hungry to learn from them. Can you hear it in my voice? If not, let me type it louder and with more passion.

Here’s what a mentor recently told me about the conference:

You can’t afford not to go!

Two years ago many of you invested in my attendance of the Catalyst Leadership conference and it took me to another level in my direction as a leader. This is what the SCORRE conference will do, too.

How you can help

Since my book hasn’t sold 100,001 copies yet, I’m not “rolling in the dough.” I would love your investment, however big or small, as I prepare to take this adventure May 6-9 in Orlando.

Would you consider donating and investing in my career as a speaker?

In the next two weeks, I need to raise $2,000 to cover the trip. That includes conference price, airfare, and hotel.

I’ve provided two ways for you to pay online.

Donate online via Fundrazr   http://fnd.us/c/2Msd
Send payments through PayPal to info@sundijo.com

I’m forever grateful for your support as I embark on this mission to become a better communicator.

P.S. If you want to take a look at my current speaking page, you can do so here.

Have you attended the SCORRE Conference? What was your favorite part? Comment below…