Sundi Jo Graham's Blog, page 34
February 3, 2014
Why Sexual Abuse Must Be Talked About
We’ve come along way since the 50′s and 60′s, where the words “sexual abuse” and “molestation” were unheard of. Or have we?
photo credit: nicholas kristof
It’s still a taboo subject? Do we talk about it? Should we write about? Is it really that big of a problem?
Yes to all of the above.
Sexual abuse must be talked about.
I couldn’t be more proud of Dylan Farrow, who courageously spoke out on her own sexual abuse from her father. The fact that she’s been given a platform to speak the truth about her devastating past tells me we’re making progress in realizing just how big of a problem sexual abuse is.
Farrow says in her recent interview with the New York Times,
For as long as I could remember, my father had been doing things to me that I didn’t like.
Oh.. Did I mention her dad was a famous, well-respected celebrity who was never charged with the humiliating theft of his daughter’s innocence?
What if more people talked about sexual abuse?
I’m not saying everyone has to give details. Not everyone has to oust their perpetrator. I respect those who do and don’t. But we need to remember the problem is real. It’s happening whether we talk about it or not.
Farrow was accused of lying by many close to her. But her father? The man who took her into a closet and sexually molested her? He was praised, and still is, at awards shows, in magazines, and more. He still walks around “innocently”, but his daughter can’t get her innonence back.
But even when our innocence is stolen, Jesus can restore.
He promises to wash us white as snow. He will comfort the broken hearted. He will set the captives free. Instead of the ashes left by those who burned us, He will give us a crown of beauty. He will rebuild the ancient ruins stolen by the darkened souls that laid hands on us.
You don’t have to live marked by sexual abuse.
These are the words from Mary DeMuth in her new book, Not Marked. You may know Mary as a speaker and author. But she’s also a survivor of sexual abuse. Not only is she a survivor. She’s a conquerer!
And because sexual abuse needs to be talked about, Mary has done just that – writing a controversial book a traditional publisher wouldn’t even have the courage to take on.
Why? Because it’s controversial. It’s uncomfortable.
It’s necessary!
I admire Dylan Farrow for the tenacity to be honest about her victimization. And I pray she trades her ashes in for a crown of beauty. I pray she allows the ancient ruins to be built.
If you are a victim of sexual abuse, I pray the same for you.
January 28, 2014
You Can Help those Who Feel Hopeless
Every fourteen minutes someone decides life is not worth the pain and makes a tragic choice. In the last month my husband and I have been shocked by the news of two friends’ suicides. I am shaken by it.
The choice to commit suicide screams “Hopeless” like a neon sign flashing in the night.My mind scans the facts, the maybes and hears a faint whisper: “I could not find rest for my soul.”
What happened behind the scenes of this life?
Did their brain chemicals send sad signals? Were messages of rejection and failure the mind’s default playlist? Did the chemicals and messages cook into a thick stew of sadness?
Was death delivered as a sound solution by an evil accomplice? Did a familiar voice consistently whisper “failure” as a result of strategy meetings in the spiritual dark places? Were demons offering blankets of oppression designed to smother joy and hope? Did they smile knowing the ripple effects of their work?
Where was God? The all-powerful, all-knowing, ever-present God could have stopped this!
God was there. He was ready to resuscitate life where hope’s pulse grew faint. He knew where and when to speak the Truth to the soul unsure of its value and purpose. The good Shepherd never stops looking for His lost sheep. His sheep know His voice, hear Him call out and run to Him.
Did the hopeless know His voice? Were they able to hear Him above the voice of the one encouraging death? Can a severely depressed person find the energy to move toward God and away from evil?
When we see a wound in the soul of our communities, we must apply Christ as the cure. - Francis Frangipane
Remember the men who tore a hole in a roof to get a paralyzed friend in front of Jesus (Mark 2:1-12)? Faith in action moved a mountain in the life of someone unable to move. These friends pursued Jesus on His behalf. That is a defining picture of intercessory prayer.
You and I can lift up the hopeless into the presence of Jesus, the One who defeated death.
Every opposing force is rendered powerless, when the name of Jesus is on our lips. He is the Savior. He is the hope we all long to know. He is the only hope that survives.
In the presence of Jesus we find the fullness of joy (Ps 16:11). By the power of His Spirit, each of us can live with overwhelming hope (Rom 15:13). And we can help others do the same by praying for them.
A Simple Prayer from the Bible:
May the God of hope fill _____ with all joy and peace in believing, so that by the power of the Holy Spirit ______ may abound in hope. (Romans 15:13) It is in the all powerful name of Jesus, I pray. Amen
January 21, 2014
Eat Your Wheaties
Are you hungry? When is the last time you missed a meal? I miss very few! I may delay them, but I do not miss them. I love to eat, and my body does not like it when I do not eat!
Photo Credit: Chapendra via Compfight cc
Depending upon your age, you may remember the old commercial from the 80’s “Eat Your Wheaties” in the morning. Wheaties always had some super athlete on the box, and they wanted you to remember to start you day fueling your body.
As we begin a new year, many people make goals and plans to exercise and eat better to lose weight. We make plans for our business and finances.
The best plan we need to make is feeding our spiritual body.
When we feed our Spiritual body, we are better equipped to plan and keep our goals.
Even strong young lions sometimes go hungry,
but those who seek in The Lord will lack no good thing.
~ Psalm 34:10 ~
Are you spiritually hungry for God? Do you look forward to studying God’s word, praying, and seeing where God wants to take you?
We have spiritual hunger signs like we have food hunger signs.
Spiritual Hunger Signs:
Cranky or Irritable
Stressed
Focused on what is wrong today
Angry
Fearful
Doubting the situation will ever change
We all have bad days, and life just goes awry. However, if our time with God is sporadic, then we are not getting the spiritual nutrition our body craves and needs. If we are spiritually undernourished, our perspective on life is skewed, and we do not have the physical and spiritual energy to handle life situations.
As we feed our spiritual life, we can “Taste and see The Lord is good . . .” (Psalm 34:8). When we feed on God’s word we “lack no good thing” (Psalm 34:10). When painful times come our way “His ears are attentive [to our] cry … He delivers them from all their troubles” (Psalm 34:17). May favorite verse in Psalm 34 is “The Lord is close to the brokenhearted and save those who are crushed in Spirit” (Psalm 34:18).
Is your heart broken over your hurting marriage or a desire to be married, a wayward child, physical ailments, or financial struggles?
Our Loving God cares even when our hearts are broken. He cares about every little detail in our lives.
Read Psalm 34. As you feed on God’s word, open your heart to listen to His voice today. He has great news for you. You are His beloved child.
You and I need God to daily nourish our hearts and minds. This post is adapted from iNeed God ~ daily downloads for your heart due to release in February 2014.
You can learn more at http://iNeedGodbook.com/More. I am excited to share that every iNeed God Bible Study is going to support Esther’s House of Redemption, and you will be able to donate a Bible Study to an Esther’s House student. More details will be available on the website www.iNeedGodBook.com. I hope you will join me in supporting Sundi Jo’s ministry. She has a big heart to help hurting women, and I am thrilled to support her!
I hope you will join me in supporting Sundi Jo’s ministry. She has a big heart to help hurting women, and I am thrilled to support her!
January 14, 2014
I Love My Body – Hands and Feet
Hands and feet are the two body parts I used to hate and wish I never had.The two body parts that–along with my head–cost me almost ten years of my life.
I’ve shared my story before and I’ll share it again. It was because of severe eczema that took the skin off my feet, face, and hands. I also gained one hundred pounds in ten months from taking Prednisone to control my skin.
So when I say I love my body–it’s nothing short of a miracle!
There were many times I felt like giving up or wishing I had someone else’s body or body parts. I always felt like my body disqualified me from living and that no one would ever love me.
My body made me feel ugly.
That’s why I wanted to write this series. I know I’m not the only one who has struggled with believing the truth about their body. And that beauty comes in all different shapes and sizes.
The chunk of Scripture that I feel represents this series the best, and how Jesus views our body is 1 Corinthians 12:12-26. It says,
Now the body is not made up of one part but of many. If the foot should say, “Because I am not a hand, I do not belong to the body,” it would not for that reason cease to be part of the body. And…If one part suffers, every part suffers with it; if one part is honored, every part rejoices with it. (1 Corinthians 12:14-15, 26, NIV84).
When my hands suffered–the rest of me suffered.
The same with my head and feet.
Instead of writing a sob story or love letter to my body, I wanted to say how grateful I am. I not only had the pleasure of participating in the sufferings of Jesus (1 Peter 4:13), but by the wounds on His hands and feet that were nailed to the cross–I am healed (Isaiah 53:5).
Free.
Beautiful.
Forgiven.
Because of the things I have suffered in my body–I no longer view beauty the way the world sees it. The media might overemphasizes your size. Skinny over fat. Beauty over health.
But I say healthy is the new skinny.
Before I judge–I need to be careful. I haven’t walked a mile in your shoes. I don’t know where you’ve been or how long and hard you fought to get where you are today.
The same is with me.
Before you judge me by my hands and feet or by the size of my curves–you need to know where I’ve been. (I’m talking to myself too).
On the cross.
With Jesus.
“Come, let us return to the Lord. He has torn us to pieces but he will heal us; he has injured us but he will bind up our wounds.After two days he will revive us;on the third day he will restore us, that we may live in his presence. Let us acknowledge the Lord; let us press on to acknowledge him. As surely as the sun rises, he will appear; he will come to us like the winter rains, like the spring rains that water the earth.” (Hosea 6:1-3, NIV84)
Maybe God didn’t heal my hands and feet in three days, but He raised my prayer life from the grave. Maybe God didn’t restore me when I wanted Him too, but He came to me over and over in the Scriptures.
Praise be to the Lord my Rock,who trains my hands for war, my fingers for battle. (Psalm 144:1, NIV84).
I love my body not because I am perfect, but because of my battle scars. And that my friends is a beautiful thing.
January 7, 2014
How to Get Spiritually Fit
If you’re like most people, one of your goals for 2014 is to get in better physical shape. While that’s certainly a worthy ambition, it’s also important (and even more so) to improve your spiritual fitness this year. “Physical training is good, but training for godliness is much better, promising benefits in this life and in the life to come” (1 Timothy 4:7-8 NLT).
One way to train your spiritual muscles is to fast. Fasting involves denying yourself food, or certain foods, for a specified period of time as an act of surrender and worship to God. There are basically three different types of fasts:
• absolute – no food or water.
• liquid – water, fruit and vegetables juices, and/or broth.
• partial – eat certain groups of foods and restrict others (such as the Daniel Fast).
Even though the Bible doesn’t contain a direct command to fast, several examples appear in both the Old and New Testament. One passage occurs in Matthew 6:16, as Jesus is teaching his disciples basic principles of godly living. Addressing the issue of fasting, he begins with, “When you fast,” not “If you fast.” Jesus’ words imply that fasting will be a regular practice in the lives of believers. Following are a few reasons why you should embrace this powerful spiritual discipline:
Fasting is the example set by Jesus.
We should fast because Jesus did. Our Savior spent forty days and nights in the wilderness fasting and praying before he began his public ministry (Matthew 4:1-11). During that time, the Lord was able to defeat Satan’s attacks because he was prayed up and armed with the Word of God. Jesus’ example shows us how fasting equips and empowers us for victory over sin.
Fasting helps you grow in faith.
When you commit to a fast, you realize how completely dependent you are upon the Lord. You learn to lean on his strength instead of relying on your own.
Fasting changes you.
Fasting allows you to experience a greater sense of the Lord’s presence in your life and the indescribable joy that comes from walking in obedience. As you meditate on his truths and apply his promises to your life, your life is transformed by the power of the Holy Spirit.
When accompanied by fervent prayer, fasting will help you develop intimacy with the Lord like nothing else can. Don’t allow fear, laziness, or the excuse, “It’s too hard!” keep you from stepping out in faith. You can do it. God will help you. He promises to bless those who hunger and thirst for righteousness.
Make spiritual training your highest priority this year. Nothing is more important than knowing the Lord and growing in Him.
December 30, 2013
One Word 2014: Productive
Last year my one word for 2103 was intentional.
I don’t think I did half bad at living that word out. I was intentional about being more present in conversations, which meant keeping the iPhone in my pocket over lunch.
I strived to make existing friendships tighter than ever, and pursue opportunities with new friends, which is out of my comfort zone.
I was intentional about involving myself in community events, which again, is out of my comfort zone.
Most importantly, I tried to be intentional about my relationship with God, and my obedience to Him. Some days I failed miserably. Other days I passed. Since I’ve decided to follow the intentional mission of this new ministry, I think I get an A.
This year I’m focusing on the word productive.
I want it to be the most productive year yet. I just outlined my goals and motivations for the new year, thanks to Michael Hyatt and his Best Year Ever course. I’m serious about making them happen.
Because I’ve got some serious goals on my plate, it’s going to take some strong determination and persistence to make them happen. Because of that, I need to be productive with every ounce of my time.
This will mean saying no to some things in order to say yes to others.
But if I keep the bigger picture in mind of the end results, it will be worth it.
I want to publish my second book, create a course that’s been rolling around in my brain, mentor women in Esther’s House, and I have a particular weight loss goal I want to hit.
It’s time to kick things into gear.
What’s your one word for 2014?
My friends over at One Word 365 say it best,
FORGET NEW YEAR’S RESOLUTIONS. JUST CHOOSE ONE WORD.
So, I invite you to ponder this for a while. What word do you want to see happen more in the new year? What goals do you have in mind? What do you want to change?
Here are just a few word ideas:
Trust, Brave, Commit, Ambition, Integrity, Transition, Simplify, Strength, Freedom, Love, Optimism, Faith, Listen, Relentless, Mindfulness, Action, Stewardship, Be, Truth, Reduce, Invest, Dare, Sacrifice, Selah, Balance, Persistence, Enjoy, Imagine.
Join me in 2014 with the One Word 365 challenge. I promise you won’t regret it.
Already have your word? Share it with me in the comments below. I’d love to hear…
December 26, 2013
Please Take My 2013 Reader Survey
I want to make my blog better and more relevant to your needs and interests. To do that, I need and desire to know more about YOU. As a result, I have created my 2013 Reader Survey.
It’s been suggested I start a video series on the blog and it’s an idea I’m considering, but one I don’t want to consider without you, my readers.
Would you please take a few minutes to fill out the survey? By doing so, you will ultimately be helping yourself. Why? Because you will be helping me make my content even more interesting and relevant to you.
Your input is important to me. The survey is easy to fill out. The survey results are completely anonymous. I can’t tell who said what. And it will only take three minutes of your time.
Thanks in advance for your help.
December 23, 2013
Help Me Change the World
A week ago, after talking nice to it, praying over it, and resetting it multiple times to no avail, I decided it was time to take it to the doctor. Unfortunately, the doc gave a bad diagnoses. The computer needed a new motherboard and the cost to repair it was more than the computer was worth.
As a person just starting out in the ministry, funds are tight, to be quite honest. Without your generous help, a computer for me isn’t possible, which means getting the work that I need done, isn’t possible. A catch 22, right?
It’s important to me to continue writing here and elsewhere. It’s more important to me, though, to continue impacting the Kingdom by running Esther’s House and continuously investing in the lives of hurting women.
When you make a donation towards helping me purchase a new MacBook Air, you play an integral part in helping me change lives through this ministry as well as through writing. I’m working on my second book and certainly seeking a publisher. Your donation will not just make a temporary impact. It will impact others for years to come.
Just who are those others? They are women suffering from depression, anxiety, addictions, the past hurts of their sexual abuse, and more. They are girls without fathers, desperate to understand how much God loves them.
I’m so excited that both you and I get to play a part in offering them hope!
What I Need & What You Get
The price of a MacBook Pro is $1199. The external hard drive is $79. (MacBook Airs don’t come with a hard drive.) Shipping is free, but the estimated tax is $76.36. The grand total is $1354.36
Here’s the great part: I want to give you something in return for your investment!
$10 Free Ebook
You will receive a free ebook version of my first book, Dear Dad.
$20 Autographed Book
Receive a personalized copy of my first book, Dear Dad, shipped to your front door.
$150 Blog/Ads/Promotion
Receive a minimum of 350 words written to promote you, the product, or service of your choice at sundijo.com, with a maximum of three link backs to your website, blog, etc. Also includes social media promotion. And receive a sidebar ad for two weeks. (Must fit in line with the message of my blog.)
$250 Social Media/Website Consulting
Have questions on how to use social media to grow your platform? Want to know if your website is at its best? Receive one hour of social media and website consulting to cover any topics, questions, etc. that you may have. Can be done over the phone or via Skype.
Where Will the Funds Go if I Don’t Reach My Goal?
All funds raised will go towards the purchase of the MacBook Air, excluding purchase and shipping costs of sending books to donors. I will continue the campaign of pursuing funds until the goal has been met, which I’m confident, with your generosity, will happen.
What if I Raise More than my Goal?
All extra funds will be donated straight to Esther’s House of Redemption, the residential discipleship program I am involved with.
Are Donations Tax-Deductible?
If you wish to have your donations made tax-deductible, you can do so by donating to Esther’s House and clarifying in the memo that it’s for Sundi Jo’s MacBook Air. Feel free to donate here: http://ehor.org/donate-now/. Please note we are still waiting for our tax-exempt status, so all donations are filed under tax-exempt pending.
The Impact
I’m excited about your heart sowing into this mission of funding a MacBook Air and helping me continue impacting women and men all over the world. I couldn’t do it without your help.
I’m also excited about the perks and your opportunity to take advantage of them while they last.
December 20, 2013
Why Are We Really Mad at Phil Robertson?
So, my Facebook feed finally stopped blowing up every two seconds with a rant about the Phil Robertson controversy. Thank you! Oh wait.. here comes more.
photo credit: mashable
I’ve been prayerfully considering whether or not to comment on the situation, but since others have asked me, and I’m writing a book on the controversial topic of homosexuality, I thought it the right thing to do.
First of all, I encourage everyone, including myself to consider their words and thoughts before they are plastered all over the social media world. Expressing your emotions, especially when they are heartfelt, can often be misconstrued when they are just being seen on the computer screen, not heard directly from our mouths. It’s the same with texting. Don’t have a deep conversation over text with someone. It’s so easy to have your words misunderstood.
With that said, I’m stepping out to share my heart and concerns via the keyboard, and I’m sure someone, somewhere, will be offended.
It has never been a secret that Phil Robertson and the rest of his family love Jesus. It has never been a secret that the leader of this influential, redneck pack, stands by the Word of God.
So why is everyone in shock that he states homosexuality is a sin?
In the last 24 hours, he has been accused of verbally attacking gay people. He’s a bigot. He’s racist. He’s a hater. Really? If he was all of the above, would the GQ reporter have written this?
He is welcoming and gracious.
As I follower of Jesus Christ, I commend Phil Robertson for not putting aside the values and principles he lives by, which comes directly from the Word of God. Fame has a tendency to change the morals of many people, and I don’t think it’s affected the Robertson clan much. Now, could he be a little more graceful in his approach so speaking truth? Of course. We all could.
One quick observation. Why was it okay for Miley Cyrus to sexually humiliate herself in front of a national audience on television, but it’s not okay for a duck-hunting, beard-growing, redneck to share his thoughts?
Here’s the question I have. Why is everyone really mad?
What’s the root? What stirs up the emotions?
For many Christians, unfortunately, I believe yesterday was used as a platform to condemn those in the homosexual lifestyle, without an ounce of love and grace. I believe it was a poor excuse to stand up for what they believed in because Phil paved the way.
It was a reason to say, “Let’s highlight this particular sin” and run it into the ground. That’s not what Phil Robertson did, nor is it what the Christian community should be doing.
A note for those who follow Jesus Christ:
Use this as a time to stand by the Word of God. Use this as a time to ask yourself how you can be a light in a dark world without compromising the truth you stand by. Ask God to reveal to you the sin taking place in your own life before you discuss the sin in the lives of others.
Don’t compromise what you believe in, but don’t lose your saltiness in the process.
A note for those in the homosexual lifestyle:
Don’t get mad at a man who was set up by a GQ reporter to discuss one of the most controversial subjects in history. Don’t use this as an opportunity to say all Christians hate you. Don’t condemn a guy who believes differently than you believe.
You may not want to compromise what you believe in, but don’t hate followers of Jesus Christ for doing the same.
And one more thought. Let’s pray for the reporter, who
must get out of the ATV and go back to where I belong, back to the godless part of America that Phil is determined to save.
I pray for this man because he doesn’t understand who Jesus is. He doesn’t understand that the opportunity to know the God who created him desires a relationship with him.
And here’s where more controversy comes in.
He has no clue that the very prince of this world, the devil himself, used him as a tool to stir up strife over the subject of homosexuality because of a magazine article.
Regardless of what happens with Duck Dynasty, God still wins.
December 17, 2013
Why I Write
When things don’t seem to make sense to me, I do what I know best: I write.
And here’s the thing. A lot of things haven’t made sense lately.
So…. I write.
I write and ask God why.
I write and tell God I trust Him.
I write God again and ask why.
I write about the fact that I hate injustice.
I write to vent.
I write because sometimes it seems the paper, or the keyboard, are the only ones to understand me.
I write because it’s part of who I am.
Jeff Goins asked me this question the other day, so now I’m asking you.
Why do you write? Leave a comment below.. I would love to hear.
