Sundi Jo Graham's Blog, page 30

Too Fat for That?

This is a guest post by Dayna Bickham. She is a writer, speaker and part-time missionary. She just released her first book, Chosen for Purpose: Overcoming Giants and Living Your Dreams . You can find her on Facebook. 

“You are too fat to do anything for the Lord.”

That is what I used to think about myself. That is the lie that played in my head over and over. Who would listen to me?

Americans see a heavy set person and often think of them as lazy. So ministry in America would never be possible, right?

If I went on mission trips, then people might think I was really rich and kidnap me. After all, in third world countries your waist size is a direct sign of how wealthy you must be. I heard that once somewhere. I must be kin to Richie Rich!

We are not alone

Maybe I am the only one who ever felt this way. I mean, no one else thinks of themselves as too fat for something, right? Other people are so much more put together than I am.  Most people like themselves. At least that is what I always thought.

I thought I was the only one. I thought I was alone.

Then I found out God doesn’t look at the outward appearance. He looks at the heart. God doesn’t see a man or a woman. He doesn’t see me as a writer or a missionary. He sees me — his daughter.

His kid. He loves me because I am his.

My worth is not based on my dress size. I am loved just because. (Tweet that)

Because God is love. Because God is gracious. Because nothing I can do will ever make him love me more and nothing could ever make him love me less. He loves me because he loves me.

I found out I never had to feel alone again.

I do not have to be afraid of not fitting in any more. I fit in my Daddy’s arms just fine. I can come to him day or night.

Knowing how much he loves me helps me love myself.

It helps me say no to seconds and yes to romping in a summer rain storm with my sixteen year-old daughter. His love changes everything: even how I see my body.

I know that the world’s definition of beauty is one thing I will never live up to, but now it is something I no longer aspire to. I am letting go of the idea that my skin must always glow and my hair must always be dyed. I will take better care of my body, but I will not be ruled by it any longer.

I am not the sum of my weight – I am worth more than that. (Tweet that, too)

The truth is, you are worth more, too. More than your fear, more than your anxiety and more than the lies holding you back that say, “You can’t.”

The truth is you can. You were made for great things.

Today is the day. Now is the time. You were put here for such a time as this.

Do not let things like dress size, a lack of education, or fear hold you back. Those God calls he equips. You have everything you need to change your life right now.

What are you waiting for?

Question: What step can you take today knowing God loves you and fear doesn’t control you? You can leave a comment by clicking here.

Why the World is Watching You and Wants You to Be Vulnerable

Have you ever been given too much change and tried rationalizing why you should keep it? Ya, me too.

Can you imagine being a pastor and someone from your congregation testing you on your honesty? I share the full story in the video below.

The world is watching us. They’re waiting to see if we line up with who we say we are. This is a key lesson for me, because I realize as I continue to teach others about weight loss, getting healthy, taking the next right step, and more, people are wondering if my words are lining up with my actions.

It’s allowing me to be more vulnerable, and it’s so freeing.

Thank you. Thank you for allowing me to be real in my struggles, yet continuing to teach you.

Here’s to vulnerability!

Question: Where do you feel free to be vulnerable with others? You can leave a comment by clicking here.

Why You Can’t Wait Any Longer to Start Getting Healthy

Have you told yourself you’ll wait until next week to start losing weight? Or maybe you’ll start saving money when the next paycheck rolls around? Ya, I’ve been there too.

My best friend and I used to unknowingly sabotage each other. I would be ready to get healthy, start eating right and exercising, and we would commit to “starting our diet” on Monday. The beginning of the week would roll around and she wasn’t motivated. Well – since she wasn’t ready, I would feel defeated and decide I wasn’t either.

The same thing would happen to her. She’d be ready, I would lose my motivation, she would feel defeated and the cycle would continue.

Then one day I realized that I had been waiting on people to lose weight for me. I was convinced I needed someone to do it with me in order for it to work. So, I asked myself this question, “What if I just start doing it myself?”

So I did.

It wasn’t always easy. It’s harder to be disciplined. But it’s not impossible.

I would hit the treadmill versus watching a movie with my friend. When we went to a restaurant, I’d order a salad versus something fried. I had to keep telling myself that for this to work, I had to be the one to do it, not wait for others to do it for me.

That doesn’t mean I didn’t have the support around me. I had cheerleaders and encouragers the whole way through my weight loss journey. But I stopped waiting and started taking action.

If we wait on others to do things for us, we’ll stay in the same spot forever. (Tweet that)

Today is the day to stop waiting and start doing. 

No more waiting on your husband to revive your marriage. Figure out what you can do and start taking the steps.
No more waiting for your loved one to start losing weight with you. Get off the couch and do what you need to do.
No more waiting until next week to start putting money back for the future. Figure out where you can decrease an expense.
No more waiting for your job to make it easier for you to write. Figure out how you can say no to something so you can say yes to writing.

You can do it! Make today the day you step into action and take the next right step. 

Question: What step of action do YOU need to make today? You can leave a comment by clicking here.

The Benefits of Exercising vs. Eating Through Stress [Vlog]

We’ve all been there. Life is stressful. Emotions are high. You don’t know whether to cry or scream, and it’s possible you may do both.

That’s how my week has been. It’s easy for me in those moments to run to food. Maybe you struggle with that, too.

But I decided… Instead of running to the refrigerator, I actually went for a run. Here’s a little motivation for you:

I want to encourage you to think about what you do before you do it. Think about the consequences and regrets you’ll have. Then ask God to help you take the next right step. You’ll be glad you did. 

Question: What did you do today to deal with your frustrations in a healthy way? You can leave a comment by clicking here.

Talk to Yourself instead of Listening to Yourself

The tongue – it has power. So much power that Proverbs 18:21 says it “can bring life or death.”

Photo Credit: DeGust via Compfight cc

In his new book, The Carpenter, Jon Gordon takes each reader on a journey with J. Emmanuel, a simple carpenter, full of wisdom, and Michael, an overworked husband and father, trying to balance life and failing miserably.

The carpenter wasn’t put into Michael’s life simply to save him after collapsing on the sidewalk while out for a run, or to help him build a new entertainment center while he recovers at home. He was put in place to give Michael every strategy he needed for success, both in his personal and professional life. 

J. told this story,

I once met a man, Dr. James Gills, who completed six double Ironman triathlons. That means he swam for 2.4 miles, rode his bike for 112 miles, and ran 26.2 miles. Then 24 hours later, he did it again. He was the only person on the planet to do this six times. When I asked him how he did it, he paused for a moment and said, ‘I have learned to talk to myself instead of listening to myself. If I listen to myself I hear all the negative thoughts, all the complaints, all the fears, all the doubts, and all the reasons why I shouldn’t be able to finish the race. But if I talk to myself I can feed myself with the words and encouragement I need to finish the race.’ He told me he would memorize and quote scripture, and this kept him going and fueled him toward the finish line.

You may not be competing an Ironman triathlon. Maybe you’re just trying to lose 10 lbs. Perhaps you’re trying to finish writing that book you’ve always wanted to write. Maybe you just don’t know what you want to finish, because you’re out of hope.

Your success may be waiting in your words. Are you listening or talking to yourself? (Tweet that)

Negative thoughts build a prison of failure. 

I remember sitting in a group therapy session once with a few other women. This girl was talking about her fears and the fact she “couldn’t” do what she wanted to do. This was a consistent battle for her.

Another woman in the group explained that a puppy was sitting inside a dog crate. He wasn’t treated well, constantly being scolded by his owner for no reason. He lived in the cage, day and night. One day the owner left the door open, but the dog didn’t move. He stayed in the cage. He was afraid of the unknown. He didn’t comprehend the door open meant his freedom awaited.

Then she asked this question, “How long will you sit in the cage with the door wide open?”

Those were profound words for me. She spoke them to the other girl, but as tears streamed down my face, I knew they were meant for me. I was sitting in a cage with the door wide open, believing I didn’t have enough value to step outside of those cage doors and live the life God created me to live.

Positive thoughts build a masterpiece.

The Ironman runner didn’t tell himself he couldn’t run a triathlon. He didn’t talk about the cold weather he would face, the people younger than him who could run faster, or the pain of the shin splints shooting up his spine.

Instead, he spoke words of encouragement and scripture over himself. Maybe he said something like, I’m a runner. God has given me the strength I need to run this race of endurance.  I have all the energy I need in this weather. I will run and not grow weary. My age does not define me. Pain is only temporary. I am a runner!

Before I wrote my first book, I always dreamed of being a writer. Then Jeff Goins, a powerful communicator and founder of Tribe Writers, helped to change my perspective about writing.

I had to stop dreaming of the desire to write a book and call myself a writer. I couldn’t build a masterpiece with negative thoughts. One published book later, and another in the process, I’m still running the race of endurance.

You will face obstacles, but what you say about those obstacles determines your success. (Tweet that, too)

Here’s to building a masterpiece.

Question: In what way do you need to stop listening to yourself and start talking to yourself? You can leave a comment by clicking here.

Why You Can’t Be Good at Anything if You’re Trying to Be Great at Everything

Do you feel like you’re going in 15 different directions at one time and you’re not sure which one is the right way? If not, I’ll be honest and tell you that’s how I feel lately.

Photo Credit: massdistraction via Compfight cc

I find God’s timing quite funny. I was asked to speak at a women’s retreat that’s coming up in a few weeks. The topic is Priorities. I thought to myself, This should be simple. I’ll tell them how important priorities are, give them a few bullet points on what to do and what not to do, and their lives will be changed forever.

You see, I’m doing great things for the Kingdom. (This is where you give me a pat on the back.) I’m starting a ministry, running my own marketing company, leading a weekly Bible Study, attending my little cousin’s baseball games, trying to get a clothing company launched, working on a book, blogging, speaking, and the list goes on.

These are all good things, but you know what I’ve realized? I’m not doing a great job at any of them because I’m trying to be great at everything.

I was convicted two weeks ago. The kind of conviction that brings snot bubbles in the middle of a church service when your pastor says these words, “We ask God to co-exist in our hearts with others, but we do it subtly.”

Distractions Create Madness

I’m living in a world full of distractions; distractions I’ve brought on myself because I think I have to do it all. Distraction leads to forgetfulness. Forgetfulness leads to promises unfulfilled. Promises unfilled leads to disappointment and sadness. The cycle continues.

These distractions, some good and some bad, are taking me away from the One True Source, Jesus. I realized this on a Saturday morning not long ago when I walked by desk, opened my Jesus Calling devotional, read through the text and went on about my day. I turned God into a drive-thru.

Two days later I found myself exhausted, my eating was out of control, again, and I felt defeated.

Distractions will eventually bring defeat. (Tweet that)

Distractions are Subtle

I didn’t mean to toss God to the side. I didn’t mean to say “yes” to everything. I didn’t mean to overload my life with busyness. But it happened. Subtly.

The enemy doesn’t just distract us all at once. He does it one thing at a time so we don’t notice. He desires for us to burn out. He laughs at our weariness in doing good. He enjoys fatigue, crankiness, feelings of self-doubt for not doing enough.

One small “yes” turns into another one, and another one. Before I realize it, I’m trying to figure out how in the world I got myself here.

Then I get slapped with this question:

What or who is competing with the Lord for your attention?

To answer, honestly, way too many “what’s” and “who’s.” What about you?

Just Because You Can Doesn’t Mean You Should

Don’t get me wrong. I so much of what I’m doing. Some things, though I don’t love completely, I must do because bills need paid. (Though I realize this is only temporary.) Others, like ministry, Bible Study, speaking, I enjoy.

I have a lot of talents, but I’m learning that I don’t have to use them all at once.

I don’t want to make my work for God more important than God. (You can tweet that, too.)

As I sat in that convicting church sermon, my pastor said these words. They hit home. Hard.

Just because you can doesn’t mean you should.

So, now I’m taking an inventory. Asking God to show me all I’m involved in. Asking Him to show me what needs to be there and what doesn’t. Who should I say “yes” to? Who do I say “no” to? Do I take an opportunity just because I know it will provide extra money, or do I say “no” because it will distract me from something bigger?

I want to be great at the things I do. Not good. Not mediocre. Great. I can’t do it, though, when I’m trying to be great at everything.

I can’t take care of my body when I’m trying to be great at everything. I can’t be who Jesus has called me to be when I’m not spending time growing my relationship with Him.

Neither can you, my friend. 

Let’s get rid of distractions, both good and bad. Let’s join together to be great at what He’s truly called us to do. Let’s be still long enough to hear Him instead of filling every gap of time with something to do.

Question: Are you in? If so, let me know in the comments what distractions you need to remove in your life. You can leave a comment by clicking here.

How to Overcome the Memorial Day Weekend Overeating

It was a weekend full of barbecue, boating, and honoring those who died for our freedom. If I may be honest, it was less about Memorial Day and more about food. What about you?

Photo Credit: MrTopher via Compfight cc

The weekend started off well. I had full intentions of not letting gluttony be the center of attention. I would walk in self-control.

Saturday was pretty good. I didn’t even have dessert. When Sunday came, however, it was as though I needed to make up for lost time. I closed out Monday night with ice cream and a snow cone and an extra scoop of shame to top it off.

It’s not always about what we eat, but why we eat it. 

I’m not saying you should never touch a snow cone. There are times we’re going to eat things that serve no nutritional purpose for our bodies. We’re human. But, I think it’s important to ask ourselves why we’re doing what we’re doing.

You see, I didn’t eat the snow cone because I was hungry and wanted to enjoy it. I ate it because I was tired, emotional, and didn’t feel like saying “No.” I let go of all self-control and said a quick “Screw it” before diving in.

Then it was over.

It’s important for me to have a routine in life. Without structure, I’m a mess.

Unfortunately, all structure was tossed aside for the weekend. I could see things were beginning to spiral out of control, but I gave into my feelings of being too tired to deal with the truth, so I just avoided it and kept walking closer and closer to the edge, until I was falling into the dark abyss.

I went two days without spending quiet time with God. I thought opening my Jesus Calling devotional for a quick read would suffice, but it didn’t. I wasn’t trying to spend time with God. I was simply saying, “Here.. if I read this, then we’ll be good and I can go on about my day.” How foolish I was.

A relationship with God isn’t a drive-thru. It’s not about a quick fix. It requires commitment. (Tweet that)

Feeling defeated, instead of throwing my hands in the air and surrendering to the only One who could save me from myself, I put my hands in the air and surrendered to my fleshly desire to do things myself.

His grace is enough. 

So, here I am with two choices:

I can stay in the shame and despair of my decisions, or I can accept God’s grace and mercy and embrace a new day, with new opportunities. I’m choosing option two.

I’m taking responsibility and moving forward.

I’m going to focus on the next right step, because that’s all He is asking of me. (Tweet that, too)

I bet I’m not alone here, huh? If you struggled through the weekend with self-destructive choices, you are okay. You are human.

Forgiveness awaits you. Take it. Grace is ready to wash over you. Receive it. Mercy triumphs over the condemnation you may be speaking over yourself.

Let’s surrender together. Today. In this moment. Because it’s the next right step.

Where in your life do you need God’s grace today? Share in the comments below… 

What Dancing with the Stars Can Teach Us About Perseverance

I’ve never watched a full season of the show until now. I have DJ Tanner…. oops, Candace Cameron Bure to thank for that.

 

photo credit: tvguide

There aren’t many TV shows worth soaking up two hours of my attention each week, but this one…. Oh, this one definitely was. Through my tears, I managed to survive the finale.

I asked myself, Why am I crying over a reality TV show about dancing? Then I realized, I had watched more than just people dancing each week. I watched lives change, real struggles, and both physical and personal obstacles defeated.

Perseverance is necessary for breakthroughs. 

Countless hours each week were spent rehearsing. Most of these celebrities had never set foot on a dance floor. The Rumba and Cha-Cha could’ve been the names of sushi rolls for all they knew. (I still think they may be.)

But they pushed through, stepped outside of their comfort zones, and practiced until they had the dance perfected. What amazes me, though, is they didn’t stop there.

They stood in front of millions of live viewers and put their practice to the test. Through bruises, arguments, and lack of sleep, they pushed through.

We have to step outside of comfort zones.

It’s one thing to practice, practice, practice. But when the expectations of what you’ve learned increase, things get uncomfortable.

They put on their game face, stepped into the unknown, and danced their hearts out. There were no take backs. No second thoughts. Just doing it. Isn’t that something we should all do?

We can’t face our fears when we stay inside our comfort zone. (Tweet that)

You will be judged. 

Can you imagine standing before the judges each week, getting critiqued in front of a live audience, watching the score cards go up, and trying to keep a smile on your face through it? For those contestants who are actors, perhaps it becomes a little easier.

This doesn’t just happen in a dancing contest. Life is full of judgment.

Sometimes, when pursuing your dreams and goals, people are waiting for you to fail. They’re watching your every move, waiting for that moment when you take one wrong step so they can remind you of your failure.

But all you have to do is get back in the beat, hold your head and shoulders up high, and keep dancing.

When all else fails, just keep dancing. (Tweet that, too.)

Vulnerability is key to success. 

Each contestant walked away from that show learning something deeper about themselves. Many of them recognized fears, emotions, and failures in front of more TV cameras they probably wanted to see, yet they kept going.

Candace Cameron Bure set a great example of this. She would do great in rehearsal, but when the time to dance came, fear took over and she stiffened up. Instead of thinking she could just overcome, she sat down with a Psychologist and got to the root of her fear.

Then she danced again, with her head held high, and a little pressure from life taken off her shoulders. I wonder how many of us watching felt a little safer to be vulnerable in our own lives after that. I know I did.

Our willingness to be vulnerable not only changes us, it changes others. (You can tweet this one, too.)

What is holding you back from pursuing what you what in life? What fear is telling you that you’ll never succeed in your goals? Are you too focused on the judgment of others, or judging yourself?

Today is the day for you to be brave, my friend. To punch fear and rejection in the face. To persevere. To get vulnerable about your struggles. To find your breakthrough.

I’m cheering for you!

What step are you going to take today to persevere? Share in the comments below..

What I Learned from a Good Idea Turned Bad About Running

I climbed on the treadmill yesterday, ready to conquer the world. I knew my workout schedule next week would be messed up, so I was going to “up the ante” this week.

Photo Credit: Thomas Hawk via Compfight cc

When I’m running, I don’t like to see the numbers. It makes the time drag by and I don’t feel as productive or focused, so I put a towel over the screen. I know it should take nine songs to hit my running goal. At the end of the ninth song, I take the towel off, see where I’m at, jump up and shout (not really), then slow the pace so I can cool down.

For every song, the pace changes. I start slow, speed up, slow down, speed up. It’s great for my heart rate, and changing pace is known to burn calories faster.

Yesterday I decided I would speed up the pace without slowing down.

There are good ideas and bad ideas. 

That was a very bad idea.

Song number four came and I was doing great. Then came song five and I was holding onto the side of the treadmill. During song six, I had slowed the pace down, but had already burned myself out. I had three more songs to go and no clue how I was going to make it.

I overdid it and took myself beyond boundaries I needed to. I finished in 10 songs, but I didn’t hit my goal because I had to slow down the pace in order to stay afloat. I was tired, felt like I wanted to pass out, and my energy was depleted. I knew there was no way I could muster up the strength to do Monday leg exercises.

We can learn from our mistakes. 

Instead of beating myself up, though, I’m choosing to learn from it.

Do you ever find yourself in this situation, trying to do life at a pace you’re not ready for?

When we try to get ahead before the time is right, we often end up burned out and in last place. (Tweet that)

I’m a dreamer. I’m a go-getter. I’m a goal setter. Though these things are great, sometimes they get me into trouble, because I want everything to happen right now.

I wanted to run at a pace I wasn’t ready for, especially when I only started running again 2 1/2 months ago. I wanted to make up for time I would lose, but I ended up losing time because of it.

This applies to every area of our lives: health, weight loss, career, etc.

If you’re not ready, don’t try to make yourself ready. Failure will meet you at the front door. (Tweet that, too)

We all have to start somewhere, and we won’t always start in the same place. Don’t use that as an excuse not to start. Find your pace in life, follow it, and do it one step at a time. You’ll finish the race faster than you thought.

Where do you need to slow down the pace? Leave a comment below… 

Why It’s Not too Late to Begin Again

I’m on this journey. Some of you have been on it with me for the last few months, and some of you may just be joining. It’s my journey of simply taking the next right step.

Photo Credit: Wiertz Sébastien via Compfight cc

I picked up a new book last night and didn’t make it past the introduction before God reminded me of those three simple, yet powerful words.

Joyce Meyer, in her new book, You Can Begin Again, gives a great reminder that it’s never too late. And guess what?

It starts with taking the next right step. 

Here is the key: You have to take a step. New beginnings don’t happen on an escalator, they happen along a path.

Here’s my encouragement to you. No matter where you are right now. No matter what you’ve done. No matter what your past says about you, there’s a new path waiting.

It’s time for you to begin again. (Tweet that)

Whoever you are, wherever you are, whatever you’ve been through, it’s never too late to begin again.

Let’s take a new step together. Today. Right Here. Right Now.

What next right step are you taking today? Share with me in the comments below….