Sundi Jo Graham's Blog, page 27

Who is Your Symphony?

When I was a little girl, while most of my friends were dreaming about becoming brides and mothers, I was dreaming about becoming famous. I was going to be an actress, and author, and a songwriter.

Fourteen years ago I left my hometown, vowing to never return, unless they were naming a sign after me. Seriously.

I had it all planned out. I would fly into town from Hollywood and the mayor would drop the red velvet curtain to display the sign saying,

Welcome to Belle, home of Sundi Jo. 

Insert prideful, arrogant, distorted reality here.

Sometimes we miss our purpose in the midst of everyday life. 

Last night I was reading Jeff Goins’ new book, Art of Work: A Proven Path to Discovering What You Were Meant to Do, and something hit me.

If you’re not familiar with the movie Mr. Holland’s Opus, it’s about a frustrated music teacher trying to compose a masterpiece he just can’t seem to bring together.

He takes a job at a high school so he can have more time to focus on his music. Turns out he didn’t get more time – he got “busier.” By the end of the movie, Mr. Holland is a cranky old man who devoted his life to teaching students music, still without finishing his masterpiece.

On his last day of school, he opens the door to the gymnasium after hearing music. There sat hundreds of students, teachers, and other staff, waiting to celebrate his role as an influencer and teacher.

A former student, Gertrude Lange, stands on the stage and shows how Mr. Holland made an impact on her life, as well as everyone else in the gym. Then she speaks powerful truth.

“Rumor had it he was always working on this symphony of his, and this was going to make him famous, rich. Probably both. But Mr. Holland isn’t rich, and he isn’t famous. At least not outside of our little town.” She pauses, looks him in the eye and finishes. “Mr. Holland, we are your symphony.”

She then pulls the curtains back, revealing a full orchestra, playing “an American Sypmphony” by Glenn Holland. He conducts the symphony he spent 30 years trying to compose, all the while thinking his calling was never fulfilled.

When you’re calling becomes clearer, you must go. 

Fourteen years later, I’m going back to my hometown – the one place I swore I would never go. I’m returning to fulfill a calling – God’s calling. A calling that’s been put on the back burner because I’ve allowed the distractions of this world to keep me off track.

A calling to show people Jesus. A calling to open Esther’s House and see women be set free. A calling to use the gifts of communication He has given me.

When you’re calling becomes clearer, you must go. #artofworkbook
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The humbling part? I’m not going back to a sign named after me. I’m not going back because I’m famous. I’m returning because life isn’t about me. I’m returning because this season of life fits into my calling. It’s not about selling books. It’s not about seeing my name in lights. It’s not about making a million dollars. It’s about Jesus. 

Think about your own symphony. 

Who or what is going to be your symphony? Whose life is going to be changed because of your obedience to follow your calling, despite how hard it is? Even if the whole picture and plan isn’t written out before you?

Don’t live in regret. A symphony is waiting for you. Your masterpiece is being orchestrated right now, piece by piece, in the ordinary, mundane parts of life.

Don’t hate where you’re at right now. Who knows where it will lead you. Who knows whose life is being changed right now.

Goins says in The Art of Work, ” Sometimes all the little things in life aren’t interruptions to our calling. They are the most important part.

Don’t miss the most important parts, my friend.

My friend Jeff is giving away his brand new book FREE. All you have to do is pay shipping and handling. For real. He’s only doing it for a limited time, so you should check it out today.

A Letter to My Hometown

Dear Belle,

I’m a pretty direct person, so can we just start this out with complete honesty?

I’ve hated you for as long as I can remember. Until two months ago, I had every intention of continuing to hate you. Today, there are still moments where I can’t believe I could ever really love you.

But something is changing in me. God is changing my heart. My hard, bitter, scared, and judgmental heart.

You owe me an apology. I used to think that way. You brought more pain to me than anyone should ever have to bear. You hurt me.

But today, I owe you an apology.

An apology for assuming every part of you wanted to hurt me. An apology for thinking everyone there was the same – in a town with no hope. I looked at you and saw a dark hole without hope. A dark whole that sucked the life out of me until I ran away, vowing I would never be back.

I realize something. I had to leave you for a while. You weren’t a safe place for me in a time of trying to understand the deepest parts of my brokenness. I needed a new refuge – a place to take a deep breath, away from those who had caused me so much pain. Away from the pain I had caused myself by my own destructive choices.

Running away from you didn’t fix the problem, though. That refuge I so desperately needed was Jesus, not a physical destination as far away from you as I could find.

I didn’t know what that refuge was. I kept walking in brokenness. Shame. Fulfilling the desires of my own flesh. Still running away, no matter where I went.

Then Jesus. He found me. He made me stop running. He made me face every dark moment. He washed those moments away with His mercy. His grace. His love. His forgiveness. His hope.

Can I tell you what He’s done for me? That past, the one that’s haunted me for years – He’s healed it. He’s still healing it. He’s changing my hard, bitter, scared, and judgmental heart.

I would come back to visit you as less as possible, knowing every time I returned from our visit, it would take me a week to recover, being reminded of the pain.

I’d look around with a plank in my eye and assume there’s no way Jesus could be present there. People needed to leave you if they really wanted to know Jesus.

Oh, how small minded I have been. I’m sorry.

For what it’s worth, today I look at you and see the grace of Jesus. I see possibilities – not a dead end. I see hope-filled opportunities to bring a light of Jesus to the parts of you who don’t yet know Him.

There’s a part of you longing to know what freedom is like. How do I know that? Because we’re all seeking something greater than ourselves, no matter where we’re at. Sometimes we just choose the wrong things to fill those voids in our lives. That something greater is Jesus. He fulfills the longing and He loves you, Belle, with an everlasting love.

Today I seek your forgiveness for assuming there was no hope for you. I am a fool.

Today I see Jesus doing a mighty thing in my heart, and He’s using you – the one place I swore was impossible to use – to do that thing.

Will you forgive me?  

I’m coming back to you. I’m coming back with a joyful and repentant heart, hoping to build a new relationship with you – a relationship revolving around grace, hope, love, mercy, and Jesus at the center.

Will you welcome me? It would be my honor to restore a relationship with you.

I’ll be honest – I’m scared. So many things about this season of my life don’t make sense, but I don’t need to know all the answers. Why?

Because this life isn’t about me.

It’s not about selling books. It’s not about getting more Twitter followers. It’s not about reminding the world who I am. It’s about Jesus.

I want my life to be about Jesus. Not my words, but my every action. I want to do that with you.

Hope is in you. A light is there. Though it may be dim in some corners, there’s an ember waiting to be lit, a spark waiting to become a flame. Jesus is doing that, my friend.

I just called you friend. You are not my enemy. You are my friend.

I’m coming home.

 

The Worst Book I’ve Ever Read and Why I’ll Read it Again

I hate books that convict me. Books requiring me to stop ignoring the change I need to make in my life. Yet I keep reading books, so it’s my own fault.

In July 2014 I bought Greg McKeown’s book, Essentialism: The Disciplined Pursuit of Less to take on vacation with me. The first few pages in, as I sat in the sun by the pool, I decided I wasn’t in the mood to read a book about discipline. It went back into my suitcase, then back to the shelf, where it stayed until December.

I hate the book. 

I hate everything about the book. Every page. Every sentence. Every period. I also hate the conviction that came with turning every page.

Why? Because it goes against everything I’ve been doing in life. Every club I have to be a part of. Every platform building technique I must take to grow myself as a speaker and writer. Every yes I have to say. Everything the world tells me to do to be successful in life.

McKeown says, “Essentialism is not about how to get more things done; it’s about how to get the right things done.”

Confession: I’ve been doing so many of the wrong things. Trying to multi-task life and projects. It’s taken it’s toll on me, honestly.

Over the last year, God’s been putting this message on my heart. Stop the distractions, Sundi Jo. Focus on what I’ve put before you. 

Being distracted with too many things keeps us from following God’s call on our lives. 
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Perhaps I was too afraid of what He was trying to do in my life that distractions delayed my calling.

Using the Word “No.”

This year I have vowed to use that word more often. Let me just say, I’ve already been tested multiple times on whether I’m going to follow through with this decision. I think I’ve passed so far.

McKeown says, “The right “no” spoken at the right time can change the course of history.”

Ya. Read that line again. It’ll punch you in the gut.

Every decision we make changes history. 
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I’m learning to say no firmly, resolutely, and gracefully, and say yes only to the things that really matter. It’s hard, but worth it, because I already feel a different peace – a peace that comes from ridding of the unimportant distractions so I can say yes to God.

In the last two months, I’ve had to make some very big decisions. Life changing decisions I’ll soon tell you about. I said no multiple times, because this decision wasn’t part of my plan.

Then I realized I was saying the wrong “no.” You see, the right “no” changes the course of history, but so does the wrong “no.” By saying no to God, I was defiant to His purpose and plan for my life, and the lives of others.

It’s time to say “yes.”

I’m saying yes to the way of essentialism – to getting the right things done. To overcoming distractions keeping me from fulfilling God’s purposes in my life.

I’m saying yes to obedience, because every decision we make changes generations. I want to make the right one.

Every decision we make changes generations. Are you making the right one? 
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You and I were made for more than chaos. We were made for more than pleasing the world with the pressure to be everywhere, doing everything.

I’m a work in progress, but I strive to come back to the essentials so I can hear God clearer. So I can live life with a peaceful obedience. So I can be about God’s calling for me, not what I think I need to do.

I haven’t even scratched the surface of this book, but I hope you’ll consider adding it to your collection today. It will open your eyes and change the way you look at life.

Question: How does essentialism apply to your life right now? What is something you need to change today to do what God is calling you to do? You can leave a comment by clicking here.

The One Word that Changes Everything

I don’t make New Year’s resolutions. I set achievable goals, with action plans.

I also make one word my theme for the year. Last year was productive. The year before, intentional.

This year I’m keeping it simple, because simple is sometimes most profound.

“No.” That’s my word. 

I told my mom and she looked at me with two heads. “Why would that be your word?”

Here’s the deal:

I was going to choose obedience. Then I decided I focus. Then it hit me. If I don’t start saying no to people, ideas, and things, even though they may be great, then I can’t focus. If I can’t keep my focus, then I can’t be obedient to what God’s calling me to do.

Plain. And. Simple.

Confession? I may have been productive in some things last year, but I’ve disobedient. I’ve been distracted by too many ideas and offers presented before me. Because of that, I’ve been disobedient in the mission God has called me to fulfill.

I’m grieving it right now, as I write these words, actually.

Today I have to say “no.”

No to building another website. No to publishing that book for now. No to focusing on building my platform. No to that workshop I want to create. No. No. No.

Sometimes we have to say no to great things so we can say yes to even better. 
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Yes to opening Esther’s House. Yes to offering hope to broken women. Yes to telling people about Jesus.

Yes to saying “no.”

You?

Question: What’s the one word that will change your 2015?  You can leave a comment by clicking here.

Turkey Cabbage Soup and a Giveaway

You never know what a simple action can mean in the life of someone else.

Let’s take soup for example. This turkey cabbage soup was a catalyst in my 145 lb. weight loss journey.

On a fall evening in 2008, my friend Jennifer invited me over for dinner. It was a typical day for her, but an unforgettable day for me.

Where’s the bowl? 

She announced the soup was done, only to run around and serve it to me in a coffee mug. I smiled and graciously accepted, thinking inside she was a weirdo.

Who serves soup in a cup? I was used to having a large bowl, in addition to a package of crackers. That’s how normal people ate soup, or so I thought. I realized as we visited and enjoyed our meal, that I was full. I was satisfied. From a mug of soup.

That day started a new way of eating for me. I realized perhaps all my old habits weren’t healthy. My 330 lb., desperate, sad and lonely self was proof of that. It was key in learning new healthy habits I still apply today.

I can’t cook it without thinking of that day, but it goes deeper than soup.

We can’t learn new habits if we’re not taught. 

I didn’t know there were other options to eat soup. Why? Because no one ever taught me. How do you learn to wash your hair? Someone teaches you as a small child. How do you learn your job? Someone teaches you. How do you learn to eat right? Someone teaches you.

We can’t learn new habits if we’re not taught.
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Remember that today. You never know what your small, simple actions are doing in the life of someone else. A simple cup of soup to you could be a life-changing event for another.

I’m feeling giving this time of year, so not only am I sharing the recipe, I’m giving away a fly away tamer headband, thanks to Luluemon. (Color is black)

They designed this simple headband with silicone beads on the inside to stay put and tame flyaways when we’re pushing through a tough practice. It’s perfect for yoga, running, etc. You can enter to win below.

Ingredients:

2 tbsp. coconut oil 
1 lb. ground turkey
1/2 large onion, chopped
5 cups chopped cabbage
2 (16 oz.) cans red kidney beans, drained
2 cups water
24 oz. tomato sauce
1 1/2 tsp. ground cumin
1 tsp. salt
1 tsp. pepper

Directions:

Heat oil in a large stockpot over medium high heat.
Add ground turkey and onion, browning turkey.
Add cabbage, kidney beans, water, tomato sauce, cumin, salt, and pepper, and cover.
Cook on low setting for 1-2 hours or until done. Stir occasionally.

Question: What small simple step from someone else made an impact on your life? You can leave a comment by clicking here.

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Six Signs You May Be Codependent

Hi, I’m Sundi Jo and I’m a recovering codependent. It feels good to get that off my chest.

I’m not sure if there are different levels of codependency, but if there are, I was at the highest level possible – probably president of the club.

I like things to be fixed. To find a quick solution to the problem so we can move on. It’s easy for me to say, “Move over and let me fix your problem for you. I know how to do it better than you.” I feel important when I “fix you.”

What is Co-Dependency? 

Here’s the SJ definition:

Relying on the approval of, or being dependent on others for your self-worth.

We could dig deeper, but that’s the gist of it.

Why Co-Dependency? 

It’s important to get to the why behind the what. Many times it’s passed onto us from the generations before us. For me, it was a learned behavior. My mom was co-dependent. My grandma. Probably her mother.

We can also create it ourselves, without influence, especially when our self-esteem is rocked and we have the desire just to be loved by someone, anyone. We put blinders on to unhealthy relationships because we need relationships.

I was raised by a single mother, so we became each other’s support team as we got older. Not that supporting each other is wrong, but ours turned into an unhealthy relationship. There were times we switched roles and I seemed to play the “mother.” We didn’t know any better until other healthy people showed us. It’s what we knew.

I chose to be in a lesbian relationship for five years because I had someone I could fix and that made me feel important. It was safe. It took the spotlight off my own issues and allowed me to “help” my partner. We were both miserable and continued in an unhealthy circle of poor communication and the need to feel loved.

Before my dad died, I let him move in, convincing myself his addiction wasn’t that bad, because I longed for the relationship with my daddy I’d never had. I could fix him. I could spend time with him and he wouldn’t want to use. Oh… the blinders. It wasn’t long before our relationship was once again severed because of my codpendency, denial, and his addiction.

Codependency is a horrible addiction, just like the others. It can destroy you if you let it.
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Codependency is a horrible addiction, just like the others. It can destroy you if you let it.

Are you Codependent? 

Are you struggling with codependency right now? Here are six signs you may be codependent:

You’re enabling unhealthy behaviors in your relationships, and they’re doing the same for you.
You’re sick all the time because you’re stressed out from helping everyone else except yourself.
You have low self-worth, despite making others feel good about themselves.
You feel devalued by those in relationships with you.
Your mood is dictated by the mood of those closest to you.
You’re angry about the way you are treated but keep your feelings to yourself, causing bitterness to rise up.

This is just a short list, but some key signs to pay attention to.

Dr. Henry Cloud, Christian Psychologist, says:

You know you’re codependent when, right before you die, somebody else’s life flashes before your eyes.

There’s more truth to that statement than you realize.

Now What? 

You realize this post describes your perfectly. Your sitting smack dab in the middle of codependency. How do you get out?

Find a counselor. I don’t say that lightly. If you’re a person of faith, I recommend finding a Christian counselor who can walk through the healing process with you.

Find a Celebrate Recovery close to you. It’s not just for drug addicts and alcoholics. CR is for anyone struggling with hurts, habits, and hangups. I promise your codependency is all of the above, even if you don’t see it yet.

Study who you are in Christ. Find out what Jesus says about you. Your self-worth is not found in people, it’s found in Jesus.

Your self-worth is not found in people, it’s found in Jesus.
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Here’s the thing: you can’t recover from codependency on your own. You need healthy people to walk through it with you. It wasn’t until I saw  healthy relationships firsthand I realized how unhealthy mine were.

You may also need to be prepared to sever some of those unhealthy relationships. You may have to do it for your own sanity.

I don’t get it right all the time. I’m still a “fixer.” But I recognize the signs of where I’m heading much quicker than I used to.

Bye bye codependency.

Question: Can you recognize codependency in yourself, or have you struggled in the past? You can leave a comment by clicking here.

Pumpkin Protein Bars

I’ve been eating these Pumpkin Protein Bars for almost a year. They’re delicious, nutritious, and half the calories of a packaged protein bar.

Don’t get me wrong. I still eat a Quest bar almost daily, but I start my mornings with these pumpkin bars.

They have just enough carbs and protein to help me crank out some cardio and strength training each day. See the nutrition facts below.

I originally found the recipe from bodybuilder Jamie Eason, but I made a few tweaks to make them my own. She uses a Xylitol brown sugar blend. I just use regular Xylitol. She also adds walnuts, which I don’t prefer.

Let me know what you think.

 Ingredients:

½ C Xylitol Brown Sugar Blend (You can find at your local health food store or on Amazon.)
1 – 4 oz. jar baby food applesauce
2 tsp. ground cinnamon
1 ½ tsp. ground ginger
½ tsp. ground clove
1 tsp. baking powder
1 tsp. baking soda
½ tsp. salt
2 tsp. vanilla extract
4 large egg whites
1 – 15 oz. can of raw pumpkin
2 C oat flour
2 scoops vanilla whey protein (You can find at grocery store, Walmart or online, depending on your preferred type)
½ cup almond milk

Directions:


Preheat the oven to 350.
Spray a 9 X 13 Pyrex (preferably) dish with non-stick spray.
Combine first 11 ingredients and mix well.
Add the final 3 ingredients and mix until incorporated. Spread batter into dish and bake for 30 min.
Makes 24 squares.

Nutrition Facts:

1 square = 47 calories, .7 g fat, 8 g carbs, 3.7 g protein

Question: Do you have a favorite protein bar recipe? You can leave a comment by clicking here.

6 Tips for a Healthier Thanksgiving (#2 is my Favorite)

Thanksgiving is upon us and so many are already prepared for the bloating, weight gain, and regret that often follows the “Turkey Day” festivities.

What if we didn’t think that way? I believe there’s another way. I believe we can “have our pie and eat it too” when it comes to Thanksgiving.

You don’t have to be as stuffed as the turkey is that day.

You don’t have to be as stuffed as a turkey on Thanksgiving Day.
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Here are 6 tips for a healthier Thanksgiving:

1. Stay active

I always assumed it was illegal to exercise on Thanksgiving. Why would anyone exercise on a day full of Pumpkin pie and football? Many people start cooking in the mornings, but I can bet there’s an extra 30 minutes somewhere in that day to burn some calories.

If you can’t get solid exercise time in, consider increasing your steps. You’d be surprised how quickly you can burn off some unwanted calories. A few of my friends are participating in the annual Turkey Trot 5k race. What an amazing way to start the day! Me? You’re not getting me out in the freezing cold at 6a in the morning, whether it’s Thanksgiving or not. The turkey would thaw faster than me.

2. Eat dessert first

This is my favorite one. I can have Turkey everyday, as well as mashed potatoes, green beans, and everything else that comes along with Thanksgiving meals. Okay, maybe not my grandma’s dressing. That comes around only two times a year. So do her pumpkin pies.

I know I love it. I want to enjoy it. I want to eat the pie before I’m so filled with everything else I’m miserable. So, I’m eating my dessert first. I’m going to savor every guilt-free bite.

3. Skip the seconds

Is that humanly possible? I think so. Consider filling your plate up as much as you want, but don’t go back for seconds. Here’s the thing: most people will go back in a couple hours to eat more. It’s like a subconscious requirement on Holidays. Knowing that’s a possibility, keep yourself from being stuffed so you can enjoy more later.

If you save enough for leftovers the next day, there’s nothing like a good leftover Turkey sandwich.

4. Eat slower

I admit I struggle with this one. Some experts suggest putting your fork down between bites so you can enjoy and taste each flavorful bite. The slower you eat, the fuller you’re supposed to be.

Maybe make a contest out of it with your family. The slowest eater wins….

5. Watch your liquid calories

There are 150 calories and 41 grams of carbs in a 12 oz. can of Pepsi. There are between 250-350 calories and 20-30 grams of carbs in a slice of pumpkin pie. Which one sounds more fulfilling?

Think about that Bud Light you’re going to drink versus the stuffing you could enjoy. Those liquid calories add up quickly.

You can avoid unnecessary calories during Thanksgiving.
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6. Remove guilt

Don’t make Thanksgiving about weight loss. Consider looking at with the eyes of weight maintenance. You may not lose any, but you don’t have to gain it either.

However, if you overindulge, move forward. Don’t let shame control your emotions. God’s mercies are new every morning. I say this with caution. Don’t allow the “tomorrow is a new day” opportunity convince you to have an all-out binge fest. You’ll regret it later.

Question: I’d love to hear what your favorite Thanksgiving memory is. Do you have yearly traditions?  You can leave a comment by clicking here.

Prayers that Part the Red Sea (A Prayer for Michele)

When you decide to live fearless I guess you tend to open a door for your fearlessness to be tested. Sometimes it’s God that tests us; other times it’s the enemy of this world.

Today I’m ticked off! I’m mad at Satan and his stupid tactics to strike down those who are determined to live fearless for Christ. Today I’m mad at cancer.

I want to tell you about Michele. I’ve never met her. We’ve spoken through email and Twitter a few times. Someday maybe I’ll get to sit down over coffee with her and we’ll pray and laugh at the victories we’ve had.

Join me in praying for God to part the Red Sea for @MicheleCushatt
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But for now I’m praying for Michele in Missouri, while she’s in Colorado. Here’s why, in her words:

The cancer is back. For the third time in four years.

On November 25, two days before Thanksgiving, I will have another major surgery. {did I mention Thanksgiving is my favorite holiday?!} This surgery will be far more serious than the last two, approximately 9 hours long, requiring a full week in the hospital. After four or five weeks of recovery, I’ll start intense radiation, possibly chemo. Then, in January or February, I’ll have another major hospitalization and surgery and more radiation.

Although my docs are confident they can kick this once and for all, I’m told the next six months will be an earthly hell. I’ll spare you the specifics, but I believe it. I’ve cleared my calendar, cancelled all projects and engagements. No eating. No speaking. No traveling and connecting and doing what I love. At least not for quite some time.

It’s all too much, my friends. I’m tired. My family is tired. And although we’ve prayed and wished and pleaded for our Promised Land, I cannot do a thing about this darn Red Sea.

But here’s the sweet news: I’m covered with peace. A deep, consuming, fearless peace. Why? I’ve been here before, in the middle of impossible situations. And every time—EVERY SINGLE TIME—my God has shown up. Fear is a waste in the face of such a Deliverer.

Red Seas are front-row seats for Divine displays. When it looks like there’s no way out? That’s when glory shows up. When you think you don’t have the strength for one more day? That’s when God’s mighty arm reaches down to ease your load. Don’t know if you can stop crying, for all you’ve lost? He grabs a jar, collects your tears and says, “I see! I hear! And I will not let you go!”

This isn’t a trite cliche. It’s what I know to be true, through heartbreak after heartbreak. I don’t how God is going to get me through my Red Sea to my Promised Land. I don’t have a clue how he’s going to show up and show off.

Tapping Others In

When I get tired and weary there are moments I just don’t know what to pray. I don’t have words. Sometimes I just don’t want to pray. It’s in those moments I call on my praying friends and say, “I’m tired today. I’m tapping you in to pray.”

I know when I ask this, they’re on it. Not only do I know it, I can feel it.

Michele hasn’t tapped me in, but I’m tapping you in – to stand in the gap for healing, peace, and fearlessness to be all over this sweet, inspiring, fearless leader to so many.

Faith Parts the Red Sea

When Moses stuck his staff into the sea, he did so with faith – knowing God would NOT let him down. When God says He will show up, He will show up. I’m believing for a Red Sea miracle in the life of Michele.

When God says He will show up, He will show up.
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I’m believing for the Divine display she wrote about. She is putting her staff into the sea and I’m believing God will part it. Whatever Satan plans to do with this cancer, God will use it for His glory. 

Please join me, friends, in praying for Michele. Pray for her sweet children. Her loving husband. Her doctors. Her Red Sea.

Question: Do you have a specific prayer to share for Michele here? You can leave a comment by clicking here.

You Are Who You Say You Are

It amazes me the words we speak over ourselves. We often talk to ourselves in ways we would never talk to others we love.

I used to remind myself how fat I was. I was too ugly. No man could ever find me attractive. I would never amount to anything. I was going to stay this way forever. I was stupid.

If I were to hear you say any of those words to my best friends, I’d slap you sideways, yet I had no problem saying it to myself. The sad part? Not only did I say those things – I believed them.

Then I learned Who I was in Christ. That changed everything. This guy Jesus, who died for me and you, has a lot to say about us. It turns out, the above mentioned statements aren’t found anywhere in Scripture.

Knowing Who We are in Christ Changes Everything!
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You might think I’m crazy, but go with me here. I encourage you to apply these four steps to your life starting today. I promise you’ll see results! What do you have to lose?

Fake it til you make it.

When I lived in the TRFC discipleship program several years ago, my counselor gave me this list. She told me to stare in the mirror and say it out loud several times. I thought she was crazy!

The first time I did it was a complete waste of my time. The second day I felt like an idiot. Day three I did it simply because I didn’t want to miss the routine of following through with my assignment. Day four I was curious. By day seven something in me shifted. I noticed I wasn’t talking as negatively about myself. I could hear myself under my breath repeating, “I am a new creation in Christ.”

You may not be convinced speaking God’s truth over your life makes a difference, but I dare you to try it.

Write down what God says about you. 

Journal this list. Write each Scripture on a note card and set them everywhere you can think of – your fridge, car, shower. Yes, shower. Get a ziplock back and stick it to your shower wall.

Take them to work with you. Read them on your lunch break. At breakfast. When you’re on the elliptical.

My friend Jennifer wrote some of her favorite scriptures from the list and kept them in a binder of note cards, reading one at every stop light.

Memorize what God says about you. 

Since you’re writing them out, go ahead and memorize a new one maybe once/week, every two weeks, one verse a month, whatever works for you. You’ll be surprised how quickly “I am more than a conqueror through Him Who loves me” will come to your mind when you’re having a rough day.

If someone else says something negative about you, remind them and yourself who Jesus says you are.

You’ll always need to be reminded. 

I’m my own worst critic. I work hard to have grace for other people, but I struggle to have it for myself, especially when it comes to my weight. I still struggle with insecurity.

Though I’ve lost 145 lbs., it’s easy for me to forget that. I’ll have a bad week and feel like a total failure, beating myself up. I’ll return to the cycle of “I’m never going to find a man to love me for me. I can’t believe I can’t get my life straight. I’m a failure.”

Just last week I was struggling with that and I get a text message from my friend Steve, who created a before and after picture of me, thanking me for inspiring him. That was a gift of God to me, reminding me of His grace.

Compared to four years ago, I’m much quicker to remind myself all those thoughts are lies. I then restart the cycle of reminding myself what Jesus says about me.

When we talk about ourselves the way we wouldn’t speak to our own worst enemy, we’re slapping the God who created us in the face. When we put ourselves down, we put God’s masterpiece down. God doesn’t make mistakes, my friend.

When we put ourselves down, we put God's masterpiece down. God doesn't make mistakes, my friend.
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If you have accepted Jesus Christ as your Savior, you are a new creation. Fat doesn’t define you. Your looks don’t define you. Your relationship status doesn’t define you. Jesus Christ defines you.

You are wonderful! You were made for more! Live it out today.

Question: What is your favorite thing God says about you in Scripture? You can leave a comment by clicking here.