Brian Francis's Blog, page 31

Captain Crunch Cookies

I've never met a sugar cereal I didn't like. Golden Grahams. Cocoa Puffs. Trix. I don't care. Just give me a big bowl, some milk and a cereal box with a maze activity on the back and I'll be entertained for hours.

Nevertheless, Captain Crunch has always made me a little uneasy. I can't figure out what it's supposed to be. It's not fruit or chocolate-flavoured. It doesn't have any freeze-dried pastel marshmallows. I don't even know what's up with those shapes. Are they barrels? Pillows? Clutch purses? I suppose the one thing Captain Crunch has going for it is its crunch. And the sugar.

Speaking of sugar, these cookies gon' wind you up real good. They're buttery, crispy and, yes, sweet. After eating one (or two), call your dentist before your teeth fall out.

1 cup margarine (I used butter.)
1 cup white sugar
1 cup brown sugar, packed
1 ½ cups flour, sifted
½ teaspoon salt
½ teaspoon baking soda in 1 teaspoon boiling water
1 egg
1 teaspoon vanilla
2 ½ or 3 cups Captain Crunch cereal

Cream margarine and sugar, add egg and vanilla. Add baking soda and water. Then add remaining dry ingredients. Drop on a cookie sheet and bake at 350º for 8-10 minutes.


Source: Centennial Plus One Cook Book

Special K Meatless Roast

We all have that failed relationship in our past; the one we look back on and wonder, "If we had a chance to do it all again, tell me…would we? Could we?"

That pretty much sums up how I feel about Special K Meatless Roast. I first made it for Caker Christmas three years ago. I didn't know what kind of pan to put it in, so I molded it into a log and put it on a baking sheet. Unfortunately, it spread and came out of the oven looking like the doormat to Hell's gates. No one touched it.

But I wanted to go back and get it right. So this time, I used a loaf pan. Lo and behold, it came out looking like meat, smelling like meat and tasting like…well, the jury's still out on that one. But at least I have closure.

6 cups Special K
6 eggs
½ cup corn oil
½ cup pecans, chopped
1 package Lipton Onion Soup mix
2 pounds cottage cheese (see note)

Heat oven to 350°. Mix all ingredients together and bake (covered with foil) in greased pan [Editor's note: See how VAGUE this part is?] for 1 hour.  Remove foil last 15-20 minutes to brown top.

Note: 2 pounds = 2 large containers

Source: The Best of Enbridge

Spaghetti Pie

If there's one ethnicity that has the biggest bone to pick with cakers, it's the Italians. They gave us pizza. We turned it into Pillsbury Pizza Pops. They gave us tomato sauce. We turned it into Ragú. And they gave us frittata di spaghetti e ricotta which we then turned into Spaghetti Pie.

Italians also gave us spumoni ice cream but we gave it the hell back.

Nevertheless, this Spaghetti Pie (prounounce it "spageddy pah" when serving it to Italians and watch them bite their fists) tastes damn good. Especially the day after it's made. So if you make it – and I hope you do – warm it up in the oven the next day.

As the Italians say, "Bun appetita!"

3 ½ cups cooked spaghetti
2 tablespoons butter
2 eggs, beaten
½ cup Parmesan cheese
1 cup cottage cheese
1 to 2 cups spaghetti sauce
½ cup mozzarella cheese

Mix cooked spaghetti with butter, eggs and Parmesan cheese. Put into a well greased pie plate. Form a piecrust. Add cottage cheese on top of formed crust. Pour spaghetti sauce onto piecrust. Spread evenly. Bake at 350° for 20 minutes. Sprinkle ½ cup mozzarella cheese on top. Bake 5 minutes more or until cheese melts. This dish freezes well. Thaw before baking.

Source: Our 20th Anniversary Cookbook, Lambeth Co-operative Playschool Inc.

Ultimate Chocolate Chip Cookie n’ Oreo Fudge Brownie Bar

Good lord. Doesn't the name alone make your pantyhose feel tighter?

Recently, a colleague of mine brought these bars into the office. I was mesmerized. A Double-Stuff Oreo sandwiched between a chocolate chip cookie and a fudge brownie?!? It was like the turducken of squares.

You can find the recipe at the blog, Kevin & Amanda, along with some serious food porn shots. I'm not sure why you have to make the chocolate chip layer from scratch, especially when you use Oreos and packaged brownie mix. So I bought ready-made cookie dough. It added that extra dash of je ne sais caker. I also made them in an 8” x 8” pan.

Make sure to keep the Kleenex handy. After eating one of these monsters, the guilt will move you to tears.

A big caker thanks to Kyla and Naira for bringing these to the attention of my waistline. Have YOU come across a caker recipe that you think people will enjoy despise find interesting? Send it to me and I'll do my best to make sure it gets the recognition it rightly deserves. Email cakercooking at gmail dot com.

SLUT UPDATE: A friend recently contacted me to say that she's made these bars before. But the ones she made were called Slutty Brownies. Hmm...I wonder which name I prefer? She also recommends adding a scoop or two of peanut butter to the cookie dough batter. My god, what's next? A dip in the deep fryer? You can check out the recipe for Slutty Brownies on the blog, Handle the Heat. Thanks for the tip, Martha! (No, her last name isn't Stewart.)

Ultimate Chocolate Chip Cookie n' Oreo Fudge Brownie Bar

Good lord. Doesn't the name alone make your pantyhose feel tighter?

Recently, a colleague of mine brought these bars into the office. I was mesmerized. A Double-Stuff Oreo sandwiched between a chocolate chip cookie and a fudge brownie?!? It was like the turducken of squares.

You can find the recipe at the blog, Kevin & Amanda, along with some serious food porn shots. I'm not sure why you have to make the chocolate chip layer from scratch, especially when you use Oreos and packaged brownie mix. So I bought ready-made cookie dough. It added that extra dash of je ne sais caker. I also made them in an 8" x 8" pan.

Make sure to keep the Kleenex handy. After eating one of these monsters, the guilt will move you to tears.

A big caker thanks to Kyla and Naira for bringing these to the attention of my waistline. Have YOU come across a caker recipe that you think people will enjoy despise find interesting? Send it to me and I'll do my best to make sure it gets the recognition it rightly deserves. Email cakercooking at gmail dot com.

SLUT UPDATE: A friend recently contacted me to say that she's made these bars before. But the ones she made were called Slutty Brownies. Hmm...I wonder which name I prefer? She also recommends adding a scoop or two of peanut butter to the cookie dough batter. My god, what's next? A dip in the deep fryer? You can check out the recipe for Slutty Brownies on the blog, Handle the Heat. Thanks for the tip, Martha! (No, her last name isn't Stewart.)

Coke Roast

First off, get the good stuff. I'm talking Colombian. Roasts are expensive and you don't want to be throwing money away on substandard cocaine. Next, sprinkle the cocaine over the roast and…
Oh, who am I kidding? This roast is made with Coca Cola, not cocaine. Do you think cakers can even afford cocaine? The most hardcore we get is a few discreet sniffs of Liquid Paper while painting our nails white.
I've never met a caker who didn't love a Sunday roast, especially if it's been cooked in pop. (My sister swears by a combination of Lipton Onion Soup mix and ginger ale.) While visiting my Mom last Sunday, I found this recipe in her copy of The Four Ingredient Cookbooks, or, as I call it, If You're a Caker and Can Count to Four, You're in Luck.
My mom and I gave this roast two thumbs up. It was tender, sweet and tangy. Note the side of broccoli. I've already discussed the caker condition known as "broccoli backwind." My sincere apologies to the other passengers on the Greyhound bus that night.
Beef Brisket or Roast1 package dry onion soup mix1 (12 ounce) jar chili sauce1 (12 ounce) can regular Coke
Mix soup, chili sauce and Coke together. Pour over roast, cover and bake at 350° for 30 minutes per pound. DO NOT USE FOIL WITH THIS BECAUSE OF COKE. 
Source: The Four Ingredient Cookbooks...

Schwartzies Hash Browns

Ah, the caker potluck. Is there anything more rewarding than getting invited to someone's house for dinner and having to provide the food? Consider yourself lucky if your caker host even washes your dish at the end of the night. (Most of us just give a half-hearted rinse before sending you on your way.)

I have no clue who or what a "Schwartzie" is, but these hash browns have been a fixture at caker potlucks since the invention of the can opener. (True story – when I told my mom I was making them, she asked, "Are you going to someone's house for dinner?")

Be warned: this is comfort food at its finest. You may want to keep it for yourself.

2 pounds frozen hash browns (see note 1)
¼ cup sour cream
2 cups cream of mushroom soup (see note 2)
Salt and pepper
½ cup melted butter or margarine
1 diced onion
2 cups grated cheddar cheese
Parmesan cheese

Heat oven to 350°. Thaw potatoes slightly for easier mixing. Mix all ingredients, except Parmesan cheese, in a 9"x13" dish. Sprinkle Parmesan on top. Bake for 1-1 ½ hours.

Note 1: The bag I bought at the grocery store was just over two pounds.

Note 2: I just threw both cans in.


Source: St. Mary's C.W.L. Grafton Cookbook

Knoxapocalypse!

If you were reading Caker Cooking in the summer, you might remember an unfortunate period where I dabbled in "Vintage Caker Cooking." In other words, crap made with gelatin. It was a dark period in my life and, after some intensive therapy, I can honestly say those nightmares where I'm being chased by a salmon with a raisin eye have stopped.

Some of my fellow bloggers recently took on a gelatin challenge of their own: to make the grossest stuff possible with gelatin.

If you're feeling adventurous, check out what Mimi, Ruth, Emily and Lexi concocted. But be warned. This is NOT for the faint of heart.

Hello Dollies

When you think of epic romances, a number of couples come to mind: Romeo and Juliet, Liz and Dick, Kim Kardashian and Kim Kardashian. But no duo comes close to the red hot flame shared between cakers and Hello Dollies squares.

Give us some graham cracker crumbs, a bag of chocolate chips, a handful of shredded coconut and a 9"x13" pan, and you'll see passion that makes Paula Deen's love for taters seem like small potatoes.

A commenter recently asked if I had a good Hello Dollies recipe. I have several, including the one featured below. Grab your walnuts and melted margarine, dim the lights and put on the Kenny G. It's time to make some caker lovin'.

1 cup graham crumbs
½ cup melted margarine
Mix and put in a 9"x13" pan (see note)

Layer:
1 cup chocolate chips
1 cup coconut
1 cup walnuts or peanuts
1 cup cherries (optional)

Pour 1 can Eagle Brand milk over all. Bake at 350 for 20-30 minutes until lightly browned.

Note: I like 'em thick, so I made mine in a 8"x8" pan and baked for about 5 minutes longer. I also put the pan under the broiler for a few minutes to get the top nice and golden. Oh, yeah.

Source: From the Lakeshore Ladies Kitchens

Paper Bag Apple Pie

Some aunts bake brownies. But other aunts, like my Aunt Marion, bake brownies and add a caramel ribbon in the centre. In other words, she was a woman after my own heart.

Aunt Marion was a baker extraordinaire. She was the one who first introduced me to Rice Krispies Golf Balls and a host of other desserts, squares and sweets.

I remember visiting once and she made Paper Bag Apple Pie. Naturally, I was mystified. How was it that the bag didn't burn? And what was the point of the bag? (Truthfully, I'm not sure there is a point. Cakers just like doing weird things with their food.)

Aunt Marion passed away recently. To salute her and all the other caramel ribbon aunts, I'm posting this recipe. Here's hoping there's a big bake table waiting for them – and us – on the other side.

3 or 4 large baking apples
½ cup sugar
2 tablespoons flour
½ teaspoon nutmeg (see note)
2 tablespoons lemon juice
½ cup sugar
½ cup flour
½ cup butter

Heat over to 425°. Prepare apples by paring, coring and slicing. Combine ½ cup sugar, 2 tablespoons flour and nutmeg and sprinkle over apples. Toss to coat well and spoon into a pastry shell. Drizzle with lemon juice. Combine ½ cup sugar and ½ cup flour for topping in small bowl and cut in the butter. Sprinkle this topping over the apples to cover the top. Slide the pie into a heavy paper bag, large enough to cover pie loosely. Fold the open end over twice and fasten with paper clips. Place on a large cookie sheet for easy handling. Bake for 1 hour. Split bag open and remove the pie. Cool on wire rack.

Note: I found the pie a little nutmeggy for my taste. If you prefer cinnamon, use that instead.

Source: Favorites of My Family, Charlotte H. Hansen