Brian Francis's Blog, page 30

Overnight Cinnamon Buns

When it comes to brunch, most cakers make one thing: reservations. Brunch simply involves too much coordination too early in the morning. We have to toast the Eggos and then take out the Aunt Jemima syrup and then make Tang and, well, there are only so many hours in the day.

So imagine my angst over having ten people for brunch last Sunday. Ten Italians. One of whom was my mother-in-law. And it was Mother's Day.

It took some big caker balls to make these buns for the Italians. But sometimes in life, you just have to snip the dough, boil the ice cream and trust that the good women of the Canadian Bible Society will see you through, even if what you're putting into the fridge looks like chunky brown vomit. (See below.)

I had nothing to doubt, of course. These buns were sticky, gooey and made my house smell like a food court Cinnabon. Best of all? My mother-in-law had two servings.

Score one for the cakers.

2 packages of frozen bun dough (See note)
½ cup butter
¾ cup white sugar
¾ cup brown sugar
1 cup vanilla ice cream

Take slightly thawed bun dough and with kitchen scissors snip them into walnut sized pieces and place into a large sprayed cake pan. In saucepan, bring the butter, white sugar, brown sugar and ice cream to a boil. Remove from heat. Cool slightly. Pour mixture over dough and sprinkle with cinnamon. Cover and let sit in fridge overnight. In the morning, bake for a 20-30 minutes at 350°.

Note: I couldn’t find frozen bun dough, so ended up buying a five-pack of frozen loaf dough. I used about 2 ¾ loaves, but packed the pieces in too tightly, so the centre came out uncooked. If you go with bread loaf dough, 2 loaves should do it.

Source: Celebration Cookbook, Canadian Bible Society

Suzanne’s Peanut Candy Bar Cake

Get out the Captain Morgan and Bits & Bites – it’s Caker Cooking’s first year anniversary!

It seems like, well, only a year ago I picked up a can opener, some coil-bound cookbooks and set out on my caker journey. And what a dark fascinating journey it’s been! There have been a few highs (like this), a few lows (like this) and a few WTFs (er, like this.)

As with most celebrations in my life, I’m spending my anniversary with a stranger. I don't know who Suzanne is, but make no mistake – this lady knows her way around a 9x13 like nobody's business. Her Peanut Candy Bar Cake kicks butt. It’s sweety, salty, crunchy, chewy, cakey and squarey. In other words: deliciousy.

Thanks to everyone who visits Caker Cooking. If I've helped you come to accept your caker heritage, I can only hope that flag is waving proudly.

1 package yellow cake mix
1/3 cup butter, melted
1 egg
3 cups miniature marshmallows
2/3 cup light corn syrup
¼ cup butter
2 cups peanut butter chips
2/3 teaspoon vanilla extract (See note)
1 ½ cups crisp rice cereal
2 cups salted peanuts

Preheat oven to 350°. Combine cake mix, 1/3 cup butter and the egg. Press into greased 9”x13” pan and bake in the preheated oven for 14 minutes. Remove from oven and sprinkle with miniature marshmallows. Bake for 1 minute more or until the marshmallows start to puff.

In a saucepan over medium heat, cook corn syrup, ¼ cup butter and peanut butter chips until melted. Remove from heat and stir in vanilla, cereal and peanuts. Spoon mixture over top of marshmallow-topped cake and spread to cover. Allow to cool before serving.

(Note: I've never heard of a 2/3 teaspoon before. Either it's a typo or Suzanne has the world's most comprehensive measuring spoon set.)


Source: Royal Canadian Legion Branch 99

Tuna Casserole

When it comes to the Caker Hall of Fame, Tuna Casserole is right up there with meatloaf, mock apple pie and the neon-green coleslaw from Kentucky Fried Chicken. But there are dozens of Tuna Casserole recipes and I’ve been suffering from performance anxiety. I couldn’t decide which recipe would be [insert echo effect] The Mother of All Tuna Casseroles…roles….roles….roles…

So when a family friend approached me recently, promising me that she had in her possession the “best tuna casserole recipe ever,” I told Carmelle to send it along and I’ve give it a whirl.

I’m thrilled to report that Carmelle’s version is not only the Mother of All Tuna Casseroles; it’s the father, the kids, the in-laws and your web-fingered third cousin. In short, it's got everything: canned vegetables, crushed potato chips, French Fried onions and a sodium content so high, you’ll be sticking your head under the bathtub faucet two hours later.

Thanks, Carmelle!

Think your tuna tops this recipe? Post it or email me at cakercooking at gmail dot com.

1 can Campbell’s Cream of Mushroom Soup
½ cup milk
2 cans of tuna
1 cup green peas
1 ¼ cup crushed potato chips
1 can sliced mushrooms
½ can French Fried Onions

Empty soup into a small casserole. Add milk and mix thoroughly.  Add tuna, 1 cup potato chips, peas and mushrooms. Stir well. Sprinkle top with remaining ¼ cup of potato chips. Bake at 350º for 30-35 minutes. Five minutes before end, sprinkle with onions.

Source: Caker Carmelle

Gumdrop Cake

Whenever I see an elderly caker, I think of all the old-fashioned words that person probably uses; words like “girdle” and “horse feathers” and “chequebook” and “gol-dern.”

Another word I associate with seniors is “gumdrop.” So when my mom asked me to make something for a senior’s bake sale, this was the first thing that came to mind. I imagined an old person buying it and saying, “Gumdrop Cake! Why, I haven’t had this in a fortnight!”

I’m not sure why you can’t use black gumdrops. I’m guessing the colour bleeds into the batter. Which would make this a grey gumdrop cake. And that would only go over well with seniors who have bad vision.

Grey or not, this cake is gol-dern tasty. It’s dense, citrusy and the gumdrops cling to your teeth for hours afterwards.

1 cup butter or margarine
2 cups white sugar
3 eggs
1 cup crushed pineapple, drained
3 ½ cups flour
2 teaspoons baking powder
1 teaspoon vanilla
1 teaspoon lemon flavouring
1 pound cut up gumdrops (no black ones) (about 2 cups)
½ pound raisins (about 1 ½ cups)
½ cup milk (added last)

Combine and mix all ingredients with milk added last. Bake in a greased tube pan at 325º for 1½ hours.

Source: Celebration Cookbook, Canadian Bible Society (I know I used this book last week, but it's my latest obsession. Over 612 pages of coast-to-coast caker recipes!)

Caker Sharing is Caker Caring

Recently, a Caker Cooking reader sent me a link to the Campbell's Soup website for Chicken Pot Pie. You can find the recipe here.

This recipe illustrates the condition known among medical professionals as "Caker Delusional Syndrome." Even though this recipe calls for low fat soup, it don't make it no low fat recipe. Especially when you top it with a pie crust.

But who cares? Thong season is still weeks away.

Some advice from Tracy: "If you have carrots in your frozen mix make sure you pre-cook them a bit or their crunchiness makes the texture seem a bit off."

I like a woman who knows her texture. Thanks, Tracy!

If you stumble across a recipe that you think should find its fame and fortune on Caker Cooking, just email cakercooking at gmail dot com.

Clod Hoppers

As previously noted, we cakers like to steal popular food items, add some weird ingredients and then reclaim that food as our own. (See Quick and Easy Skor Bars as an example.) These Clod Hoppers are no different. Chocolatey. Salty. Graham crackery. In fact, I had to wonder: are these better than the original?

I conducted a taste test with myself and, well, myself and I found these Clod Hoppers tasted way better than the ones I bought at Bulk Barn. The ones from Bulk Barn had a faint cumin flavour. Although, if we're going to be honest, most things from Bulk Barn have a faint cumin flavour.

But don’t take my word for it. I brought these into the office and they were gone before I could even ask, “Any of you guys want to check out my new Beta video player this weekend?”

4 cups Golden Grahams cereal
2 cups white chocolate wafers
2 tablespoons oil
1 cup salted peanuts

Melt chocolate and oil in a double boiler. Add peanuts and grahams. Spread onto a waxed paper lined cookie sheet. When cooled and set, break into pieces. Store in airtight containers.

Source: Celebration Cookbook, Canadian Bible Society

Sue’s Tuna Burgers™

My sister hit a milestone birthday the other day, so I thought it only fitting to post a caker recipe that she invented on her own . Needless to say, I’ve taken the liberty of trade-marking it before the Red Lobster folks realize what a goldmine this recipe is.

One of my fondest memories growing up was coming home from church on a Sunday morning. Yes, I went to church, but it was more about the opportunity to wear a bolo tie. And if Sue had woken up before lunch (which, truthfully, was a bit of rarity), she’d be in her fluffy blue bathrobe and these Tuna Burgers would be toasting away in the oven.

What makes Sue’s Tuna Burgers™ so unique is the sprinkle of oregano on top. How or why she ever did that in the first place is a mystery, probably to Sue herself. But don’t question a chef and her artistry. Just enjoy the fruits – or, in this case, the Cheez Whiz – of her labour.

Happy birthday, Sue. Thanks for those Sunday morning memories.

Hamburger buns
Cheez Whiz
Tuna
Oregano

Spread bun halves with Cheez Whiz. Place tuna on top. Add a dollop of Cheez Whiz. Sprinkle with oregano. Broil until the Cheez Whiz looks like it has a fatal skin condition. Best eaten with a side of dill pickle. Fluffy blue bathrobe optional.

Source: Caker Sue

(I'd be a dead man if it wasn't for that black bar. And yes, that's MY mini Pac Man game she's playing with. It was probably returned to me once the twelve C batteries it required had died.)

UPDATE: My photograph of Sue’s Tuna Burgers™is causing some controversy in my family. I received an email today, informing me that I "burned" the Cheez Whiz on top. Apparently, there's an "art form" to melting the cheese. (BTW: This isn't coming from Sue, who has yet to see the post, which is probably why her picture remains up.) I replied that's how I remember them. They were always goddamned burnt on the top. The only one who can resolve this is Sue. I'll report back.

Reader Recipe: Impossible Pie

Recently, a reader from Chicago came across a recipe in a cookbook that she said "screamed Caker Cooking."

Impossible Pie doesn't just scream caker; it shatters the sound barrier. Cakers love it because a) it's easy to make and b) we like using blenders.

What makes Impossible Pie magical is that the ingredients separate while baking. The Bisquick sinks to form a crust, the eggs and milk make custard and the coconut rises to create a crunchy, golden-brown crust.

In fact, it's "impossible" to screw up. Unless you're Greek. Remember my friend from Caker Christmas who substituted Werther's candies for butterscotch chips to make Peanut Butter Marshmallow Squares? (Click here and scroll to the bottom to see the photo). A few years back, she made Impossible Pie and, well, here's the picture.

It looks like one of those old-fashioned irons. I mean, I don't even see any coconut. How did she manage to screw up a pie you put in a blender?

Anyway, so long as you're not Greek, you'll have no problem making this pie.

Thanks to Godzilaw for submitting this recipe! If you've got a recipe you want to share, send it along to cakercooking at gmail dot com.


¼ cup butter, softened
4 eggs, beaten
¾ cup coconut
½ cup sugar
½ cup Bisquick
1 teaspoon vanilla
2 cups milk
Pinch of salt

Put all of above ingredients in a blender. Mix 1-2 minutes. Pour into well-greased pie pan. Bake at 350° for 40-45 minutes. Believe it or not, this pie makes its own pastry, filling and topping.

Note: If you really want to impress your guests with an "impossibly" memorable evening, I suggest serving Impossible Tuna Pie as your main before serving Impossible Pie for dessert. I guarantee your guests will never forgive forget it.

Source: St. Anthony's Manna

Wieners and Beans

Cakers can't leave well enough alone. We're like the bedazzlers of the food world.

For example, take something classic like good ol' wieners and beans. Most non-cakers would assume that the folks at Heinz know a thing or two about making beans. After all, common sense tells us that adding ingredients to canned food seems to defeat the purpose of canned food in the first place. Right?

Not so with cakers. We can't resist adding some dehydrated onion flakes or a plop of ketchup to just about anything. It's a wonder this recipe doesn't say to roll the wieners in JELL-O powder.

Crap. I shouldn't have said that. Somewhere, a light bulb just went off inside a caker's head.

2 cans pork and beans
1 package onion soup mix
½ cup catsup
¼ cup water
2 tablespoons brown sugar
1 tablespoon prepared mustard
1 pound wieners (See note 1)

Mix together all ingredients. Place in casserole and bake in moderate oven for 30 minutes (See note 2).

Note 1: 1 pound = one package

Note 2: I left these in longer. About 45 minutes at 350.

Source: Cooking with Durham County Junior Farmers

Caker Sharing is Caker Caring

I always enjoy hearing from fellow cakers and lately, I've been hearing from more and more of you. Is it any wonder that this little ditty has been playing in my head?

Sherri recently sent me the link for this recipe. Folks, your eyes aren't deceiving you. It's an edible candle. My god, are cakers clever or what?

If you come across something and want to share it, simply email me at cakercooking at gmail dot com and I'll do my best to post it and spread the caker love.