Brian Francis's Blog, page 29

Mimi n' Me

My fellow blogger extraordinaire, Mimi, recently invited me to participate in her Weight Watchers retro potluck extravaganza.

I was responsible for the cocktails. Unfortunately.

To find out why, check out my post here.

Thanks, Mimi!

Easy Brunch Eggs

I know you’re out there – you love caker food, but keep it your dark, dirty secret. During the day, you dine on things like bok choy and lentils, but when you come home at night, you’re spooning Marshmallow Fluff straight from the jar. You might as well face it – you’re a closet caker.

What you need is a recipe that helps you bring your love of caker food out into the open; a dish that washes the shame away. Easy Brunch Eggs are here to the rescue. If Martha Stewart ever came to my house for breakfast (and stranger things have happened in my life), I wouldn’t think twice about serving these to her. Heck, she'd probably ask for ketchup.

Just look at these beauts! And who’d ever guess there were only three ingredients?  (Martha certainly wouldn’t.) I even put some long, narrow vegetable things next to them to make everything look more sophisticated.

The only thing missing from this dish? The closet, my caker friends. But you’re better off without it.

12, or more, slices of any bread (See Note 1)
12 eggs, or more
Butter or margarine
Salt and pepper to taste

Lightly spray muffin pan with Pam. Butter sliced bread lightly. Place bread, buttered side up, in muffin cups. Do not tear bread. In the centre of bread, break egg. Add salt and pepper and toppings if desired. i.e. bacon bits, cheese, chives (See Note 2). Bake for 10 minutes at 350º until bread is golden brown and egg white is firm (See Note 3). Yummy and easy.

Note 1: I cut the crusts off because I thought they’d look nicer. I dealt with some egg spillage, but I don't know if the keeping the crusts on would help or not.  In any case, things were a little messy, but not overly bad.

Note 2: I spread a little Dijon mustard on the bread and topped them with cheddar cheese. Delish!

Note 3: I prefer my yolks on the firm side, so I left them in closer to 15-20 minutes.

Source: Treasured Recipes, Birr United Church

Lemon Fluff

When it comes to food flavourings, I think lemon sucks. Maybe my nose has been victimized by too much furniture polish, dishwashing detergent, floor cleaner and scented plastic dolls over the years, but I just don’t find anything appealing about it.

So I was less than enthusiastic about making Lemon Fluff. It sounded boring. But then I started making it and, as the cold, evaporated milk foamed up, I had a memory trigger. I'd eaten this before. And then I realized – I frigging love Lemon Fluff!

Although it doesn’t sound like much, Lemon Fluff is three inches of light, moussey – and yes – lemony heaven. It’s perfect for summer eating and guaranteed to shine a light in the dimmest of church basements. Lemon, thou art redeemed.

1 package lemon JELL-O powder
1 ½ cups boiling water
4 tablespoons lemon juice
Rind of 1 lemon
¼ cup sugar
1 can Carnation evaporated milk (real cold)
¼ cup sugar
1 cup graham crumbs
A little butter

Mix together ¼ cup sugar, the graham crumbs and butter. Press into bottom of an 8"x8” pan, saving a few crumbs for top. Mix JELL-O powder and boiling water. Cool slightly. Add the lemon juice, rind and ¼ cup sugar. Cool in refrigerator until syrupy. Beat can of Carnation milk. Beat again and add the JELL-O mixture. Combine beating until stiff. Pour over crumb crust and sprinkle with reserved crumbs.

Source: Cooking with Durham County Junior Farmers

Potato Chip Cookies

Cakers have a hard time making decisions, especially when it comes to their food. You can usually spot us in the grocery store aisles, looking like we’re at a tennis match. Are we in the mood for bologna or macaroni loaf? Does the recipe call for a can of crushed pineapple or a can of pineapple tidbits? And what the heck is all that green, leafy stuff?

So you can imagine how paralyzing it is when cakers are faced with the ultimate snack showdown: salty vs. sweet. Luckily, there are visionairies who walk among us (well, church women in Wisconsin, anyway) who single-handedly bridged that divide with a cookie that delivers a pinch of sweet followed by a slap of salt. Oh, and a little butter. As in two sticks. But if they ain't counting calories in Wisconsin, I suggest you don't bother, either.

When I taste-tested these cookies, the reaction was a bit mixed. Some people were puzzled. Why add potato chips to cookies, they wondered? But others who tried them – namely cakers – loved ‘em. It was one less decision they'd have to make that day.

½ cup sugar
2 sticks butter
½ cup crushed potato chips (See Note 1)
1 cup pecans
2 cups flour

Heat over to 350°. Mix all ingredients and roll into balls. Flatten with the bottom of a glass on a cookie sheet. (See Note 2)

Note 1: I went with plain chips, but to add some more texture, I'd recommend using rippled.

Note 2: It doesn't give a cooking time. I left them in for about 10 minutes or so.

Source: The recipe book is from Wisconsin, but doesn't have a cover, so I've christened it "Coverless Wisconsin Cookbook."

Caker Canada Day Edition: Homemade Big Mac Sauce

While you Americans have to wait a few days for your holiday, we here in Canada have a looong weekend coming up. When I think of Canada Day, I think of hunting beavers, using maple syrup as sunscreen and getting my groove on to Rita MacNeil. I also think of BBQs. And if you're planning to inhale some burgers this weekend, how 'bout some Big Mac sauce to go with them?

I'm not Mckidding – this homemade version tastes exactly like the real thing. But make sure to let it sit for a few hours in the fridge. To make your own Big Mac, take 2.5 buns, two patties, some chopped iceberg lettuce, minced white onions, a few cheese slices, some pickles and a good dollop of this sauce and you'll be saying, "I'm lovin' it!"  

Happy Caker Canada Day!
1/2 cup mayonnaise2 tablespoons French dressing4 teaspoons sweet pickle relish1 tablespoon finely minced white onion1 teaspoon white vinegar1 teaspoon white sugar1/8 teaspoon salt
Combine everything in a bowl. Refrigerate in covered container for several hours or overnight. Stir a few times as it chills. Makes about 3/4 cup.
Source: I can't remember where I got this from. But I guarantee you it didn't come from Ronald.

Reader Recipe: Tang Pie

I’ve previously mentioned how cakers don’t think things through before naming our dishes. Take the unfortunately-named but undeniably delicious Dump Cake. Cakers just aren’t smart about these things. We lack style. Sophistication. Panache.

In short, we lack adjectives.

When fellow caker Bob sent me a recipe for Tang Pie, I thought, “Meh. Probably tastes like baby aspirin.” But I gave it a whirl. Let me go on record by saying that this is one of the most delicious recipes ever featured on Caker Cooking. It’s creamy, orange, smooth and light. Who’s lacking adjectives now?

But do yourself a favour and call it Orange Creamsicle Pie. It’ll go over much better with company – and it really does taste like a creamsicle, especially when served frozen. Your non-caker guests will be none the wiser and you’ll come across looking like one of those Grey Poupon types. When in the company of cakers, however, simply scream, “I DONE MADE TANG PAH!” and you'll be met with a round of squeals.

Thanks, Bob! Between this and your Tater Tot Casserole, I'm proud of how far you've come in embracing your caker self.  I hereby christen you Bob, Duke of Cakers. Wear that title with honour, but remember it also carries a huge responsibility. Serve your fellow cakers well, preferably with a big slice of this pie.

1 9-inch graham cracker crust, baked
1 14-ounce can sweetened condensed milk
1 8-ounce carton sour cream (see note)
¼ cup plus 2 tablespoons Tang powder
1 8-ounce tub Cool Whip

Mix the milk, sour cream, and Tang together.  Fold in half of the Cool Whip.  Spoon into the pie shell.  Top with the rest of the Cool Whip.  Chill.

Note: 8 ounces = a small size container

Source: Bob, Duke of Cakers, via Fashionable Foods: Seven Decades of Food Fads by Sylvia Lovegren

Isabel's 5 Cup Salad/Dessert

Sunday mornings, I visit a senior woman who lives across the street from me. Isabel isn’t your typical senior. She’s got a flat screen TV, a computer and she even has an e-reader. Here’s hoping I’m that up-to-date at her age, but, knowing me, I’ll be wearing acid wash overalls and trying to work an iPod.

A few Sundays ago, I noticed a package of coconut, a can of pineapple and a tin of mandarin oranges on Isabel’s side table. Naturally, my caker senses starting tingling. I asked her what everything was for.

“5 Cup Dessert,” she replied. Needless to say, I got her to write down the recipe.

Now, there’s some debate over whether this is a dessert or a side dish. Isabel says it’s a dessert. I remember it as a side dish. (Of course, I also grew up in a house where Cool Whip was considered dairy.) And, when I found the same recipe in another cookbook, it recommended serving it on a lettuce leaf. So we may never know the answer.

What I do know is that 5 Cup Salad/Dessert has been enjoyed by generations of cakers. The marshmallows get soft and squishy, the pineapple stays crunchy and you’ll have hours of fun picking the coconut out of your teeth.

Thanks, Isabel! And happy belated birthday.

1 cup miniature marshmallows
1 cup flaked coconut
1 cup pineapple pieces, partially drained
1 cup mandarin oranges, drained
1 cup sour cream

Make the day before and refrigerate. Isabel also adds in quartered maraschino cherries.

Source: Modern Girl Isabel

He Shoots! He Skors!

Clockwise: Christmas Crack, Skor Squares, Quick and Easy Skor BarsAlong the right hand column of this blog, you’ll see a list of Caker Cooking’s most popular posts. (Yes, the rock star status of Imperial Cheese Cookies is a complete mystery to me, as well.) But second in popularity are Quick and Easy Skor Bars, a delectable ditty I featured last June, using saltines, chocolate and a whole lotta butta.

Last month, I featured a tuna casserole recipe from a family friend. When Carmelle sent me that recipe, she also included a recipe for Skor Squares made with 65 Ritz crackers.
That got me thinking.
Then a Caker Cooking reader named Kittyn recently commented that she'd had Quick and Easy Skor Bars, only they were called "Christmas Crack" and were made with pretzels instead of saltines. 
That got me thinking again. 
Then I had to stop thinking because it hurt real bad.
After much soul-searching, I decided to do what any caker worth his sodium would do – make all three versions. Now, me + three batches of Skor Bars = guilt, tears and a marathon of The Facts of Life, so I brought everything to work and asked my colleagues to vote.
In the end, the chewy toffee decadence of Carmelle’s Skor Squares took the crown with saltines coming in at a close second. In a distant third, sadly, was Christmas Crack. (Although the people who voted for it were very passionate. They also seemed a little fidgety.) Sorry, Kittyn.
Not only is this Carmelle's second time on Caker Cooking, but this might be the shortest recipe I’ve ever featured – and in the world of caker cuisine, that’s quite the accomplishment. Congrats, Carmelle! Your prize, a Caker Candy Tree, is in the mail.

Do you have a different Skor bar recipe? God help me, but send it along to caker cooking at gmail dot com and I'll do my best to feature it. 
Skor Squares
Mix together approximately 65 crushed Ritz crackers (See Note 1), 1 can condensed milk and 1 package of Skor bits. (Keep ¼ cup for topping.)
Pour into a 8” x 8” square pan (see Note 2) and bake for 25 minutes at 325º.
Note 1: I wasn't sure if a regular-sized box had 65 crackers, so I bought a larger one. But I only used about 3/4 of it, so you could probably go with a regular-sized box.

Note 2: Line your pan with some parchment paper as my squares stuck.

Source: Caker Queen Carmelle

Reader Recipe: Low-Cal Peanut Butter Cup Pie

Can you believe I’m still on a sugar high from last week’s Coca Cola Salad? (I’m also down four teeth, but whatever.) So when fellow blogger, Mimi, emailed me a low-cal caker recipe, my Spanx and I jumped at the chance.

For those of you not familiar with Mimi’s blog, 1972: The Retro WW Experiment, it's all about Weight Watchers, less the Jennifer Hudson. (If I see another one of those “I am you, you are me” commercials, I’m going to throw a Twinkie at the TV.) Thankfully, our girl Mimi kicks it old school with 1970s Weight Watchers recipes. And if you think Caker Cooking has featured some food fuckery, check out Mimi’s Frankfurter Crown Roast, her Buttermilk Chicken Loaf and her – gulp – Fluffy Mackerel Pudding.

Who said being thin is glamourous?

While this Peanut Butter Cup Pie doesn’t have the sophisticated decadence of, say, Impossible Pie, it ain’t too shabby for a guilt-free, low-cal treat. I found the crust a little finicky and would've added some melted marshmallows for pliability, but I guess that would've defeated the low-cal purpose. And, in my defence, that's a dollop of low-fat Cool Whip in the photo.

If you've got a caker recipe you want to share, just email cakercooking at gmail dot com.

Thanks, Mimi!

1 1/2 oz. crispy type rice cold cereal (Editor’s note: Oh, for god’s sake. Just say Rice Krispies.)
4 tbsp peanut butter
1 tbsp honey
1 envelope (four 1/2 cup servings) instant reduced calorie chocolate pudding mix
2 cups skim milk
1 medium banana, sliced

In a small bowl, mix peanut butter and honey. Heat in microwave on high for 20 seconds. Stir in cereal. Mix well. Press mixture into bottom of a 9-inch pie pan. Chill. Prepare pudding according to pkg directions. Place banana slices over prepared crust. Spread prepared pudding over bananas & chill. Makes 4 servings.

Source: In Mimi's own words, "This is a Weight Watchers recipe that was member-created. In other words, it is not 'officially' sanctioned by the powers that be at WW. I can only guess it was created sometime in the early 80's by a very hungry woman who was really craving some pie. It was typed up on ditto paper, copied and secretly passed around WW meeting rooms all over the land."

Coca Cola Salad

When the warm weather hits, I think of two things: getting a Brazilian and sipping an ice-cold Coca Cola. Cakers love Coke almost as much as we love Cream of Mushroom soup. We pour Coke over our roasts, we plop ice cream into it and we use it as mouthwash. Some of us even use Coke in science experiments with our baby teeth. (See the comments section for Coke Roast.)

In fact, cakers and Coke seem to go hand-in-hand. Maybe it’s the sugar. Or that we enjoy belching.

In any case, here’s a ruby-hued salad that packs all of summer’s sweetness into a single bowl. It’s got cherry JELL-O, cherry pie filling, Dream Whip, a can of you-know-what and about 4296 calories.

Why is there a can of Coke in this? Who knows? A caker might say it adds flavour. I think it’s more about adding another 10 teaspoons of sugar. I should've been a caker dentist.

1 large package cherry JELL-O
1 ½ cups boiling water
1 10 ounce bottle Coke (1 can)
1 can cherry pie filling
1 can crushed pineapple, drained
1 package Dream Whip (see note)
1 package cream cheese
½ cup icing sugar

Dissolve JELL-O in boiling water. Add Coke and allow to thicken slightly. Stir in cherry pie filling and pineapple. Chill until set. Beat cream cheese. Add icing sugar. Fold in Dream Whip. Put on top of JELL-O. Decorate with cherries.

I made mine look real purdy-like.

Note: Make the Dream Whip as per the package instructions before adding it in.









Source: The Best of Enbridge