Douglas Hackle's Blog, page 6

Salieri

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CREE-CRAW SLEE-SLAW

CREE-CRAW SLEE-SLAW. CREE-CRAW SLEE-SLAW. CREE-CRAW SLEE-SLAW. CREE-CRAW SLEE-SLAW. CREE-CRAW SLEE-SLAW. CREE-CRAW SLEE-SLAW. CREE-CRAW SLEE-SLAW. CREE-CRAW SLEE-SLAW. CREE-CRAW SLEE-SLAW. CREE-CRAW SLEE-SLAW. CREE-CRAW SLEE-SLAW. CREE-CRAW SLEE-SLAW. CREE-CRAW SLEE-SLAW. CREE-CRAW SLEE-SLAW. CREE-CRAW SLEE-SLAW. CREE-CRAW SLEE-SLAW. CREE-CRAW SLEE-SLAW. CREE-CRAW SLEE-SLAW. CREE-CRAW SLEE-SLAW. CREE-CRAW SLEE-SLAW. CREE-CRAW SLEE-SLAW. CREE-CRAW SLEE-SLAW. CREE-CRAW SLEE-SLAW. CREE-CRAW SLEE-SLAW. CREE-CRAW SLEE-SLAW. CREE-CRAW SLEE-SLAW. CREE-CRAW SLEE-SLAW. CREE-CRAW SLEE-SLAW. CREE-CRAW SLEE-SLAW. CREE-CRAW SLEE-SLAW. CREE-CRAW SLEE-SLAW. CREE-CRAW SLEE-SLAW. CREE-CRAW SLEE-SLAW. CREE-CRAW SLEE-SLAW. CREE-CRAW SLEE-SLAW. CREE-CRAW SLEE-SLAW. CREE-CRAW SLEE-SLAW. CREE-CRAW SLEE-SLAW. CREE-CRAW SLEE-SLAW. CREE-CRAW SLEE-SLAW. CREE-CRAW SLEE-SLAW. CREE-CRAW SLEE-SLAW. CREE-CRAW SLEE-SLAW. CREE-CRAW SLEE-SLAW. CREE-CRAW SLEE-SLAW. CREE-CRAW SLEE-SLAW. CREE-CRAW SLEE-SLAW. CREE-CRAW SLEE-SLAW. CREE-CRAW SLEE-SLAW. CREE-CRAW SLEE-SLAW. CREE-CRAW SLEE-SLAW. CREE-CRAW SLEE-SLAW. CREE-CRAW SLEE-SLAW. CREE-CRAW SLEE-SLAW. CREE-CRAW SLEE-SLAW. CREE-CRAW SLEE-SLAW. CREE-CRAW SLEE-SLAW. CREE-CRAW SLEE-SLAW. CREE-CRAW SLEE-SLAW. CREE-CRAW SLEE-SLAW. CREE-CRAW SLEE-SLAW. CREE-CRAW SLEE-SLAW. CREE-CRAW SLEE-SLAW. CREE-CRAW SLEE-SLAW. CREE-CRAW SLEE-SLAW. CREE-CRAW SLEE-SLAW. CREE-CRAW SLEE-SLAW. CREE-CRAW SLEE-SLAW. CREE-CRAW SLEE-SLAW. CREE-CRAW SLEE-SLAW. CREE-CRAW SLEE-SLAW. CREE-CRAW SLEE-SLAW. CREE-CRAW SLEE-SLAW. CREE-CRAW SLEE-SLAW. CREE-CRAW SLEE-SLAW. CREE-CRAW SLEE-SLAW. CREE-CRAW SLEE-SLAW. CREE-CRAW SLEE-SLAW. CREE-CRAW SLEE-SLAW. CREE-CRAW SLEE-SLAW. CREE-CRAW SLEE-SLAW. CREE-CRAW SLEE-SLAW. CREE-CRAW SLEE-SLAW. CREE-CRAW SLEE-SLAW. CREE-CRAW SLEE-SLAW. CREE-CRAW SLEE-SLAW. CREE-CRAW SLEE-SLAW. CREE-CRAW SLEE-SLAW. CREE-CRAW SLEE-SLAW. CREE-CRAW SLEE-SLAW. CREE-CRAW SLEE-SLAW. CREE-CRAW SLEE-SLAW. CREE-CRAW SLEE-SLAW. CREE-CRAW SLEE-SLAW. CREE-CRAW SLEE-SLAW. CREE-CRAW SLEE-SLAW. CREE-CRAW SLEE-SLAW. CREE-CRAW SLEE-SLAW. CREE-CRAW SLEE-SLAW. CREE-CRAW SLEE-SLAW.

Horror Sleaze Trash: Prose in Poor Taste

Hey, my droogs. Edited by Arthur "Tha Graham Cracka" Graham, this brand new anthology comprises over seventy pieces of short and flash fiction from 50+ contributing authors to the webzine Horror Sleaze Trash, including two yarns from yours truly.

Get the paperback here, and use the discount code KCNJDZGB to get half off the list price.

What's more, a free ebook version is available here.

On a closely related note, one of my contributions to the antho was just featured on the HST website. See it here.

Swell, yo.

Couple Review Copies Left of My New Book...

Hey, y'all. I have three print copies left of my new short story collection, Is Winona Ryder Still with the Dude from Soul Asylum? and Other LURID Tales of TERROR and DOOM!!!. I'm giving them away in exchange for honest reviews here on Goodreads and Amazon.

If you're interested, and you reside in the U.S., send me a message, BIG BOSS!


From the back cover...

To entertain its new neighbors, a kind puppet puts Chicken McNuggets into tiny coffins and buries them in its yard. A famous pest control man is diagnosed with the “In the Air Tonight” disease, an incurable sickness that slowly turns its sufferers into the rapist referenced in Phil Collins’ hit song “In the Air Tonight.” Having just escaped TERROR TOWN, a man is opened up like a can of sardines by a can of sardines. The supposedly debunked but very real ghost caught on camera in the movie Three Men and a Baby exacts revenge on humanity for not believing in him. Though Courtney Cute is indeed the cutest child in the world, her evil doll and batshit-insane grandfather are anything but. A Ouija board grows bored of being a Ouija board. Two passengers (one human, one evil scarecrow) aboard the sinking RMS Titanic refuse to abandon ship because they’re too busy watching the blockbuster film Titanic on the actual Titanic…

These and many more ABSURDITIES await in Is Winona Ryder Still with the Dude from Soul Asylum? and Other LURID Tales of TERROR and DOOM!!!, the second collection of bizarro-whacko-absurdo short fiction from Douglas Hackle.

“Hackle may be the best absurdist story writer working today.” –Bradley Sands, author of Dodgeball High

“Hackle combines an English major's love of literature and respect for the written word with a twelve year old's penchant for dark, dirty, demented imaginings and the crassest of crass, sick/twisted humor.” –Arthur Graham, author of Tanuki Tango Overdrive

Kindle Version of 'The Hottest Gay Man Ever Killed in a Shark Attack' is FREE for the Next 3 Days!

I noticed a few other folks running sales and promotional giveaways on shark-related thingamabobs in honor of Shark Week, and it occurred to me that I have my own shark-related thingamabob to give away if I so choose.

I so choose. The Kindle version of my first and only novel, The Hottest Gay Man Ever Killed in a Shark Attack, is FREE for the next 3 days (7/26 - 7/28).

Praise for The Hottest Gay Man Ever Killed in a Shark Attack…

“Funniest book of 2016, hands down!” – Danger Slater

“Douglas Hackle is a treasure of the bizarro scene and his first novel deserves to be shelved with classics of the genre, alongside your Mellicks, and your Donihes, and your Pierces, and your Sandses.” – G. Arthur Brown

“This book is the culmination of everything I admire about Hackle's work and thus represents a master work of Bizarro fiction. This is like Hackle's Dark Tower, every awesome quirk of his writing makes an appearance in some shape or form in this book.” – Frank Edler

"Imagine, if you will, that you’re a woman who just enjoyed a one-night stand with a man endowed with a humongous penis, one larger than any you’d ever taken before. Not only was this fella packin’ heavy (let’s say it was 15-inches long and thicker than a beer can), but the dude also knew how to use the damn thing! As a result, for a few months following said amazing encounter, the penises of all subsequent lovers are lost in the cavernous, stretched-out, frictionless, pleasure-ruined void that your sex has become, until you naturally tighten up again. That, my friends, is what reading Hackle’s THE HOTTEST GAY MAN EVER KILLED IN A SHARK ATTACK is like: The book takes you like a BIG OL’ D, so that, at least for a few months after reading it, ALL OTHER BOOKS, regardless of genre, style, critical acclaim, or canonical eminence, seem like clumsily deployed micropenises by comparison." - Arthur Graham

Click on the cover image for the Amazon link.

Is Winona Ryder Still with the Dude from Soul Asylum? and Other LURID Tales of TERROR and DOOM!!!

My new short story collection, Is Winona Ryder Still with the Dude from Soul Asylum? and Other LURID Tales of TERROR and DOOM!!!, is now available. Consisting of twenty bizarro-whacko-absurdo stories, including a dozen never-before-published pieces, this is my third book and my second short story collection—a spiritual sequel of sorts to Clown Tear Junkies. Among the reprints included in ‘Winona’ are three critically acclaimed stories I wrote specifically for The Bizarro Starter Kit (Red).

(Alright, so maybe that “critical acclaim” came courtesy of a pissed-off Hungarian-Egyptian lobster-saxophonist who likes to carve Chicken McNuggets into tiny busts of Antonio Salieri. But, hey, a strugglin’-ass mofo will take what a strugglin’-ass mofo can get, no??)

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From the back cover:

To entertain its new neighbors, a kind puppet puts Chicken McNuggets into tiny coffins and buries them in its yard. A famous pest control man is diagnosed with the “In the Air Tonight” disease, an incurable sickness that slowly turns its sufferers into the rapist referenced in Phil Collins’ hit song “In the Air Tonight.” Having just escaped TERROR TOWN, a man is opened up like a can of sardines by a can of sardines. The supposedly debunked but very real ghost caught on camera in the movie Three Men and a Baby exacts revenge on humanity for not believing in him. Though Courtney Cute is indeed the cutest child in the world, her evil doll and batshit-insane grandfather are anything but. A Ouija board grows bored of being a Ouija board. Two passengers (one human, one evil scarecrow) aboard the sinking RMS Titanic refuse to abandon ship because they’re too busy watching the blockbuster film Titanic on the actual Titanic…

These and many more ABSURDITIES await in Is Winona Ryder Still with the Dude from Soul Asylum? and Other LURID Tales of TERROR and DOOM!!!, the second collection of bizarro-whacko-absurdo short fiction from Douglas Hackle.

“Hackle may be the best absurdist story writer working today.” –Bradley Sands, author of Dodgeball High

“Hackle combines an English major’s love of literature and respect for the written word with a twelve-year-old’s penchant for dark, dirty, demented imaginings and the crassest of crass, sick/twisted humor.” –Arthur Graham, author of Tanuki Tango Overdrive

Just Workin' on My Corey Feldman Dance Moves, Is All

Hey, yo. What's up?

Nothing much, you say? Cool.

What's up with me, you ask? Oh, not a whole helluva lot. Just workin' on the dance intro to Corey Feldman's Today Show performance of "Go 4 It," is all.

Laterz,

Doug

Kindle Version of My New Book Is Available

The Kindle version of my new book, Is Winona Ryder Still with the Dude from Soul Asylum? and Other LURID Tales of TERROR and DOOM!!!, is now available.

Consisting of twenty bizarro-whacko-absurdo stories, including a dozen never-before-published pieces, this is my third book and a spiritual sequel of sorts to my 2013 collection Clown Tear Junkies.

Click on the cover image to go to the Amazon page.

Thanks again to anyone on here who helped with the editing, beta reading, and/or proofreading of this book.







UPDATE: Print version is available now too. Here's the link:

https://www.amazon.com/dp/154816271X/...

ARCs of My New Book...

I have a couple free digital advanced reading copies (ARCs) of my new book to give out to anyone interested in reading and reviewing it here on Goodreads, Amazon, a personal blog, a book review site, etc.

About the book: Comprising twenty bizarro-whacko-absurdo stories, including a dozen never-before-published pieces, Is Winona Ryder Still with the Dude from Soul Asylum? and Other LURID Tales of TERROR and DOOM!!! is my second collection of short stories and a spiritual sequel of sorts to Clown Tear Junkies. Among the reprints included in ‘Winona’ are three critically acclaimed stories I wrote specifically for The Bizarro Starter Kit (Red).

(Alright, so maybe that "critical acclaim" came courtesy of a pissed-off Hungarian-Egyptian lobster-saxophonist who carves Chicken McNuggets into tiny busts of Antonio Salieri. But, hey, a strugglin'-ass mofo takes what a strugglin'-ass mofo can get, no??)

Anyhow, if you're interested in receiving an ARC, shoot me a message, my tiny little son.

Oh, and here's the first Goodreads review of the book, compliments of author/editor/Goodreads rapscallion Arthur Graham:

https://www.goodreads.com/review/show...

It's Gettin' There...

Expected release: June 2017.



https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/3...