Douglas Hackle's Blog, page 5
March 11, 2019
New Short Story
Hey, y'all. My new short story, "WE BOYZ NO MATTA WHUT, MY TINY LITTLE SON" is up at Horror Sleaze Trash. Check it out or not. There are no other options.
Sincerely,
D
Sincerely,
D
August 23, 2018
Rare Writing/Word Count Update
Lest anyone think me idle, I’m about 22,000 words into writing a new novella/novel, my second.
It’s titled TERROR MANNEQUIN: Awwwwwwwwwwww Yeah!
I began writing it after getting invited to submit to a Halloween-themed short story anthology last year. I'd intended to produce a yarn of roughly 5,000 words or so. But at some point not long before the submission deadline, I realized I was going to have at least a novella-length piece on my hands when all was said and done.
“Well, what the heck is this thing about, slice?” you are (or are not) asking yourself right about now.
In a very general sense, it’s a Halloween story. Basically, there’s this guy who has to take his two “freak” nephews out “reverse trick-or-treating” every Halloween. Reverse trick-or-treating, of course, is when you walk door to door and give candy to people instead of people giving candy to you. If said uncle-protagonist doesn’t take his nephews out reverse trick-or-treating each year, the townspeople will kill them.
Now imagine that the famous screaming guy from Edvard Munch’s The Scream fathered a tiny little son who looked exactly like him. Well, aside from his sombrero, one of the nephews looks just like that. The other nephew is some sort of weird sentient membrane named, appropriately enough, The Membrane. Oh, and the last house that the trio must visit for reverse trick-or-treat is Fallingwater—built on a natural waterfall, Frank Lloyd Wright’s world-famous architectural masterpiece is now abandoned and allegedly haunted by a malevolent, murderous entity known as TERROR MANNEQUIN…
So, yeah. For better or worse, that’s what I’ve been up to.
As publishers haven't shown much interest in publishing my work (not a complaint, just an observation), I’ll likely self-pub this one just like I did with my last two books, which is fine by me. In fact, earlier this summer, I had grand plans of finishing this book and self-publishing it by or around Halloween of this year. Heh! Yeah, that’s definitely not gonna happen. But look for a release later in the year, hopefully.
Also, as a message to all my dedicated fans out there (all five or six of you): don’t be put off by all this Halloween/trick-or-treat talk. This book is not straight horror or even horror comedy. C’mon now, my tiny little HALLOWEEN BATS!!! You know me better than that! This one should be just as recklessly absurd and off-the-rails batshit insane as anything else I’ve ever written.
Sincerely,
D
It’s titled TERROR MANNEQUIN: Awwwwwwwwwwww Yeah!
I began writing it after getting invited to submit to a Halloween-themed short story anthology last year. I'd intended to produce a yarn of roughly 5,000 words or so. But at some point not long before the submission deadline, I realized I was going to have at least a novella-length piece on my hands when all was said and done.
“Well, what the heck is this thing about, slice?” you are (or are not) asking yourself right about now.
In a very general sense, it’s a Halloween story. Basically, there’s this guy who has to take his two “freak” nephews out “reverse trick-or-treating” every Halloween. Reverse trick-or-treating, of course, is when you walk door to door and give candy to people instead of people giving candy to you. If said uncle-protagonist doesn’t take his nephews out reverse trick-or-treating each year, the townspeople will kill them.
Now imagine that the famous screaming guy from Edvard Munch’s The Scream fathered a tiny little son who looked exactly like him. Well, aside from his sombrero, one of the nephews looks just like that. The other nephew is some sort of weird sentient membrane named, appropriately enough, The Membrane. Oh, and the last house that the trio must visit for reverse trick-or-treat is Fallingwater—built on a natural waterfall, Frank Lloyd Wright’s world-famous architectural masterpiece is now abandoned and allegedly haunted by a malevolent, murderous entity known as TERROR MANNEQUIN…
So, yeah. For better or worse, that’s what I’ve been up to.
As publishers haven't shown much interest in publishing my work (not a complaint, just an observation), I’ll likely self-pub this one just like I did with my last two books, which is fine by me. In fact, earlier this summer, I had grand plans of finishing this book and self-publishing it by or around Halloween of this year. Heh! Yeah, that’s definitely not gonna happen. But look for a release later in the year, hopefully.
Also, as a message to all my dedicated fans out there (all five or six of you): don’t be put off by all this Halloween/trick-or-treat talk. This book is not straight horror or even horror comedy. C’mon now, my tiny little HALLOWEEN BATS!!! You know me better than that! This one should be just as recklessly absurd and off-the-rails batshit insane as anything else I’ve ever written.
Sincerely,
D
July 14, 2018
Need a Proofreader?
Allow me to break character for a moment. Ahem...
I’m now offering to proofread manuscripts (short- and long-form fiction) on a freelance basis.
ABOUT ME: Many moons ago, I received a B.A. in English Literature from John Carroll University, where I was a member of the English honors society. Since then, I have acquired extensive professional experience copywriting, copyediting, and proofreading in the business world. Yadda, yadda, yadda.
Basically, I’m somewhat of a meticulous, persnickety, nitpicky, hawk-eyed bastard, and you WANT me to proofread your stuff.
Message me if you’re interested.
-Doug
P.S. To clarify, while I don’t mind doing some light copyediting here and there as a part of the proofreading process, I’m not looking to do full line editing or content editing at this time. But that could change, so if that’s what you’re looking for, we could talk about that too.
I’m now offering to proofread manuscripts (short- and long-form fiction) on a freelance basis.
ABOUT ME: Many moons ago, I received a B.A. in English Literature from John Carroll University, where I was a member of the English honors society. Since then, I have acquired extensive professional experience copywriting, copyediting, and proofreading in the business world. Yadda, yadda, yadda.
Basically, I’m somewhat of a meticulous, persnickety, nitpicky, hawk-eyed bastard, and you WANT me to proofread your stuff.
Message me if you’re interested.
-Doug
P.S. To clarify, while I don’t mind doing some light copyediting here and there as a part of the proofreading process, I’m not looking to do full line editing or content editing at this time. But that could change, so if that’s what you’re looking for, we could talk about that too.
April 27, 2018
The Modern Monarchist, Issue #1
Hey, kewl katz.
Issue #1 of what may very well be the only extant absurdist-devoted ezine IN THE KNOWN UNIVERSE—The Modern Monarchist—is now out. The issue includes the story “The Butler” by yours truly and flash fiction from several other contributors, as well as an interview with Brian Evenson conducted by The Late Peter Sellers, no less.
And it's FREE!
P.S. For the record, I did not request that my byline read “Douglas Motherfucking Hackle” in this publication, as I believe inserting “Motherfucking” between one’s first and last name is usually considered douchey. However, it’s perfectly okay when someone else does it. So in this case, blame the editor: G Arthur Motherfuckin’ Brown.
Sincerely,
D-Eazy
Issue #1 of what may very well be the only extant absurdist-devoted ezine IN THE KNOWN UNIVERSE—The Modern Monarchist—is now out. The issue includes the story “The Butler” by yours truly and flash fiction from several other contributors, as well as an interview with Brian Evenson conducted by The Late Peter Sellers, no less.
And it's FREE!
P.S. For the record, I did not request that my byline read “Douglas Motherfucking Hackle” in this publication, as I believe inserting “Motherfucking” between one’s first and last name is usually considered douchey. However, it’s perfectly okay when someone else does it. So in this case, blame the editor: G Arthur Motherfuckin’ Brown.
Sincerely,
D-Eazy
March 29, 2018
A Few Review Copies Left...
Hey, Goodreaders! FYI, I still have a few paperback copies of my new(ish) short story collection, Is Winona Ryder Still with the Dude from Soul Asylum? and Other LURID Tales of TERROR and DOOM!!!, available to anyone who’d like to review it on a personal blog, book review site, Amazon, here on Goodreads, etc.
But what sort of stories are these, you might ask?
Well, most would call them bizarro or absurdist or neo-absurdist humor/satire or something like that. However, should you find those adjectives unappealing for whatever reason or reasons, know that this book, in a very general sense, could also be regarded as “horror-comedy.” Because just off the top of my head, I know it contains zombie sardines, a talking Ouija board, the ghost from Three Men and a Baby, a diabolical scarecrow, an untold number of creepy puppets and puppetlike things, TERROR THING (literally “the most terrifying thing on earth”), not to mention cameos from the likes of Freddy, Jason, Alien, Predator, and even ol' H.P. Lovecraft himself.
So, yeah. Horror comedy. Or bizarro. Or neo-absurdist-popsurrealist-irreal-satire-whackopunk-stupidcore-WHATEVER!
Message me if interested.
Laterz,
Tha D-Child
But what sort of stories are these, you might ask? Well, most would call them bizarro or absurdist or neo-absurdist humor/satire or something like that. However, should you find those adjectives unappealing for whatever reason or reasons, know that this book, in a very general sense, could also be regarded as “horror-comedy.” Because just off the top of my head, I know it contains zombie sardines, a talking Ouija board, the ghost from Three Men and a Baby, a diabolical scarecrow, an untold number of creepy puppets and puppetlike things, TERROR THING (literally “the most terrifying thing on earth”), not to mention cameos from the likes of Freddy, Jason, Alien, Predator, and even ol' H.P. Lovecraft himself.
So, yeah. Horror comedy. Or bizarro. Or neo-absurdist-popsurrealist-irreal-satire-whackopunk-stupidcore-WHATEVER!
Message me if interested.
Laterz,
Tha D-Child
March 22, 2018
Achievement Unlocked: Hungarian Translation!
In late spring/early summer of this year, a Hungarian translation of my story “I Won the MegaSuperLotto” (translation courtesy of my main man Zoltán Komor) will appear in a new Hungarian literary magazine called Robotgipsy. So be sure to brush up on your Hungarian, my tiny little sons and daughters.
And if you'd like to read this story in boring old English, it's included in my latest collection, Is Winona Ryder Still with the Dude from Soul Asylum? and Other LURID Tales of TERROR and DOOM!!!
And if you'd like to read this story in boring old English, it's included in my latest collection, Is Winona Ryder Still with the Dude from Soul Asylum? and Other LURID Tales of TERROR and DOOM!!!
February 2, 2018
A Radtacular Review of "Winona..."
Hi, my tiny little cree-craws.
G Arthur Brown had some nice things to say in his write-up of my latest short story collection, Is Winona Ryder Still with the Dude from Soul Asylum? and Other LURID Tales of TERROR and DOOM!!!
Here's a snippet:
"I really liked his [Hackle's] first collection, Clown Tear Junkies. It may have some of my all time favorite bizarro-absurdist stories in it. However, Is Winona Ryder Still with the Dude from Soul Asylum? and Other Lurid Tales of Terror and Doom!!! transcends that one on every front.
Every front. Eastern. Western. North Africa campaign--ALL FRONTS."
-G Arthur Brown
Click HERE to read the full review.
Later,
D
December 28, 2017
End of the Year Sale!
Howdy, Goodreaders. Get the Kindle version of my latest book on the cheap!
Is Winona Ryder Still with the Dude from Soul Asylum? and Other LURID Tales of TERROR and DOOM!!! is only 99¢ until the end of the year.
Click on the cover image below for the Amazon link.
From the back cover...
To entertain its new neighbors, a kind puppet puts Chicken McNuggets into tiny coffins and buries them in its yard. A famous pest control man is diagnosed with the “In the Air Tonight” disease, an incurable sickness that slowly turns its sufferers into the rapist referenced in Phil Collins’ hit song “In the Air Tonight.” Having just escaped TERROR TOWN, a man is opened up like a can of sardines by a can of sardines. The supposedly debunked but very real ghost caught on camera in the movie Three Men and a Baby exacts revenge on humanity for not believing in him. Though Courtney Cute is indeed the cutest child in the world, her evil doll and batshit-insane grandfather are anything but. A Ouija board grows bored of being a Ouija board. Two passengers (one human, one evil scarecrow) aboard the sinking RMS Titanic refuse to abandon ship because they’re too busy watching the blockbuster film Titanic on the actual Titanic…
These and many more ABSURDITIES await in Is Winona Ryder Still with the Dude from Soul Asylum? and Other LURID Tales of TERROR and DOOM!!!, the second collection of bizarro-whacko-absurdo short fiction from Douglas Hackle.
“Hackle may be the best absurdist story writer working today.” –Bradley Sands, author of Dodgeball High
“Hackle combines an English major's love of literature and respect for the written word with a twelve year old's penchant for dark, dirty, demented imaginings and the crassest of crass, sick/twisted humor.” –Arthur Graham, author of Tanuki Tango Overdrive
Is Winona Ryder Still with the Dude from Soul Asylum? and Other LURID Tales of TERROR and DOOM!!! is only 99¢ until the end of the year.
Click on the cover image below for the Amazon link.
From the back cover...
To entertain its new neighbors, a kind puppet puts Chicken McNuggets into tiny coffins and buries them in its yard. A famous pest control man is diagnosed with the “In the Air Tonight” disease, an incurable sickness that slowly turns its sufferers into the rapist referenced in Phil Collins’ hit song “In the Air Tonight.” Having just escaped TERROR TOWN, a man is opened up like a can of sardines by a can of sardines. The supposedly debunked but very real ghost caught on camera in the movie Three Men and a Baby exacts revenge on humanity for not believing in him. Though Courtney Cute is indeed the cutest child in the world, her evil doll and batshit-insane grandfather are anything but. A Ouija board grows bored of being a Ouija board. Two passengers (one human, one evil scarecrow) aboard the sinking RMS Titanic refuse to abandon ship because they’re too busy watching the blockbuster film Titanic on the actual Titanic…
These and many more ABSURDITIES await in Is Winona Ryder Still with the Dude from Soul Asylum? and Other LURID Tales of TERROR and DOOM!!!, the second collection of bizarro-whacko-absurdo short fiction from Douglas Hackle.
“Hackle may be the best absurdist story writer working today.” –Bradley Sands, author of Dodgeball High
“Hackle combines an English major's love of literature and respect for the written word with a twelve year old's penchant for dark, dirty, demented imaginings and the crassest of crass, sick/twisted humor.” –Arthur Graham, author of Tanuki Tango Overdrive
December 8, 2017
September 23, 2017
tuba
If I don't get a tuba for Christmas this year, I'm gonna light myself on fucking fire.
